Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 11 Mar 12 - 12:27 AM
Rapparee 10 Mar 12 - 10:59 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 10 Mar 12 - 08:33 PM
Amos 10 Mar 12 - 05:42 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 10 Mar 12 - 05:38 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 12 - 12:42 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 10 Mar 12 - 10:09 AM
Amos 10 Mar 12 - 10:06 AM
GUEST,Raparree 09 Mar 12 - 10:41 PM
Little Hawk 09 Mar 12 - 09:55 PM
gnu 09 Mar 12 - 09:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Mar 12 - 09:24 PM
gnu 09 Mar 12 - 02:13 PM
Amos 09 Mar 12 - 10:31 AM
Amos 09 Mar 12 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 08 Mar 12 - 08:28 PM
gnu 08 Mar 12 - 02:19 PM
Amos 08 Mar 12 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 12 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 07 Mar 12 - 10:42 PM
Acme 07 Mar 12 - 09:49 PM
Amos 07 Mar 12 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 12 - 10:00 AM
Amos 07 Mar 12 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 07 Mar 12 - 01:09 AM
Rapparee 06 Mar 12 - 10:41 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Mar 12 - 09:48 PM
Amos 06 Mar 12 - 06:47 PM
catspaw49 06 Mar 12 - 02:26 PM
gnu 06 Mar 12 - 01:19 PM
Amos 06 Mar 12 - 01:07 PM
Bill D 06 Mar 12 - 12:00 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 12 - 10:45 AM
Amos 06 Mar 12 - 10:19 AM
Acme 06 Mar 12 - 01:14 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Mar 12 - 01:04 AM
Amos 06 Mar 12 - 12:14 AM
Rapparee 05 Mar 12 - 09:23 PM
gnu 05 Mar 12 - 09:06 PM
Amos 05 Mar 12 - 08:18 PM
gnu 05 Mar 12 - 04:26 PM
gnu 05 Mar 12 - 04:24 PM
Amos 05 Mar 12 - 04:15 PM
gnu 05 Mar 12 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 05 Mar 12 - 12:27 PM
Amos 05 Mar 12 - 11:01 AM
Rapparee 05 Mar 12 - 10:28 AM
Amos 05 Mar 12 - 09:21 AM
Acme 05 Mar 12 - 01:01 AM
Acme 05 Mar 12 - 12:28 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 12 - 12:27 AM

I could use another MOAB t-shirt, if you're so inclined. Make it size Large, in case it shrinks - let me know how much and postage. (Don't go crazy - no one needs a turquoise encrusted t-shirt for $700 like you bought today. Who believes a story about postcard-sized "rugs!")


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 12 - 10:59 PM

Ho-hum, another vacation day shot. It's just awful being here in Monument Valley, surrounded by magnificent views, good food, nice people, dropping seven hundred dollars or so on things like jewelry and miniature Navajo rugs (4x6 inches max). Tomorrow a Jeep tour of MV, then off to Cortez, CO and then (are you ready for this?)

MOAB, Utah!!!!

Then home, waiting for the bills to roll in.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Mar 12 - 08:33 PM

Well-documented financial reasons, Roscoe. She is workin' for the Big 2 Parties, the defense industry and the CIA, and them cats don't want me runnin' for president, see? They are afraid I will bring their cozy little game to an end once I get elected.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 12 - 05:42 PM

Letting Chongo into a cat house is not a good idea. These places are on an underground network of well-connected madams and even the occupants have their little telepathic ways. When the words hits the net that Chongo is in a known location, it is highly probable word will reach Chinga, and her intentions toward Chongo--for well-documented sufficient reasons--are highly contra-survival.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Mar 12 - 05:38 PM

I checked out Best Friends, Rap. Cool place. Looks like they are doin' a lotta good work to help animals. Even though I have never liked dogs all that much...with the exception of one or two that I got to know on a friendly basis (like "Lenny", the Bulldog mascot at Wally's Irish Pub)...I can well appreciate how Best Friends of Utah is comin' to the aid of animals in need.

I will instruct local APP staff to do a fund-raisin' drive to help 'em out. They could probably use a well-trained chimp and monkey on staff for primate liason and communications. Maybe even a gorilla for heavy liftin' and stuff like that.

- Chongo

p.s. It definitely wasn't the place I was thinkin' of!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 12 - 12:42 PM

It's at a place called "Best Friends" outside of Kanab, UT. It's on the web, look it up yourself.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Mar 12 - 10:09 AM

Could you go into a detailed description of that establishment, Rap?

I'm just curious to know if it's the same one I am thinkin' of.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 12 - 10:06 AM

This is what Ra[[aree does on vacation--he seeks out the houses of cats. THere's something twisted about it, in my view. He should confess all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Raparree
Date: 09 Mar 12 - 10:41 PM

Okay, there was a heart preserved over in France of someone very famous, who I can't remember right now. Charlemagne or Louis XVI or somebody. Anyway, the heart was later taken by some soldiers, who sold it to a Bishop in England, who ate it.

I was in the biggest cathouse you can imagine today -- certainly the biggest one I've ever seen.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 12 - 09:55 PM

Gnu - There was a man in ancient times who burned down one of the most sacred temples in Asia Minor, the Temple of Artemis, one of the Seven Wonders of the ancient world.


The "Croesus" Temple (of Artemis) was destroyed on July 21, 356 BC, probably very soon after its completion, in a vainglorious act of arson: one Herostratus set fire to the roof-beams, seeking fame at any cost, thus the term herostratic fame.

Herostratus planned the burning of the temple of Ephesian Diana so that through the destruction of this most beautiful building his name might be spread through the whole world.[11]

The Ephesians, outraged, sentenced Herostratus to death and forbade anyone from mentioning his name, under pain of death. However, Theopompus later noted the name.[12] The burning supposedly coincided with the birth of Alexander the Great; Plutarch[13] remarked that Artemis was too preoccupied with Alexander's delivery to save her burning temple.


There you have the level of mentality of someone who would steal a sacred relic...whether for money or for fame.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Mar 12 - 09:50 PM

Don't matter anyway on accounta you shouldn't eat it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Mar 12 - 09:24 PM

Hi, Mom!

I have a question. Last weekend, there was a food vendor at the Renaissance Faire selling fried dough. A big sign above his trailer said, "Fried Dough".

So, here's the question: What the hell is fried dough? I mean, I understand the concept of frying dough, but after it's been fried, it's not dough anymore. By definition, dough is RAW! If you fry it, it's something else. Depending on what's in the dough, the fried item can be a doughnut, a hushpuppy, a fritter, or one of any number of variations on the theme. But if it's dough, it hasn't been fried. And if it's been fried, it's no longer dough.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Mar 12 - 02:13 PM

Someone stole a Saint's preserved heart from the 12th century?

The heartless bastard!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 12 - 10:31 AM

In the "Still on the Craziest PLanet in Space" Department:

"The latest in a series of such thefts involved the removal of the preserved heart of St. Laurence O'Toole, Dublin's 12th-century patron saint, from the city's historic Christ Church Cathedral. As there was no sign of forced entry to the cathedral itself, the dean of Christ Church, Dermot Dunne, initially believed the thief had probably hidden in the building when it closed on Friday evening, taken the artifact overnight and simply walked out the next morning.

"Maybe someone stole it to order; it certainly seems plausible," Dean Dunne said Monday in an interview at Christ Church. "Or maybe a religious fanatic wants the relic and paid somebody to steal it."

(NYT)

A preserved heart from the 12th century. Now, that's what I call real value.

Better not tell Mom.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 12 - 09:45 AM

Welcome to the NEW 44000 which is 44 and 100.

And green is the new black, too.

And insanity the new normal.

Do not panic. Just hold on to your towel.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 12 - 08:28 PM

MY mother said, "Well, thank God that's over with!"

Then she had three more, but being first I got all of the really good genes and the others had to take the leftover crappy genes. That's why I'm so superior to everyone else. Then she went out and dropped me on my head.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Mar 12 - 02:19 PM

"Perhaps your mom tells you stories of the day you were born?"

All she ever says is that it was happiest day of her life. Apparently, the hemorrhoids were worth it. Oh, yeah, that is a story... I was a pain in the ass.

If you read my Bday thread, there is a cute story of what my Dad used to say about that day regarding the timing of my birth.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 12 - 12:07 PM

Behold the wandering wayward Rap
Who bids us kill the fatted calf
By bringing home a load of crap
TO make Mom swoon--but we just laff.
We know his idle, wandering ways,
We've copped his scam for many a week.
And though barefoot he rambles off,
He's just a barefoot boy with cheek.

John Blueballs Whatayear
Greaves of Lass and other poems.
Rochester, New York, 1911


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 12 - 09:39 AM

I just rescued Mom from a seamy, steamy dive down by the waterfront. She was sooooooooooooo influenced by alcohol and bad companions that she was going to demonstrate her "table dance." I pleaded with her, telling her about the baby being sick and Amos dying and all that bull and finally I was able to fight our way out and take her home.

Please move silently around her today -- cheap rum and red wine should not be mixed with Four Roses, especially in the same flagon.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 12 - 10:42 PM

Happy Birthday to Gnu & Whoever He Is.

Amos, we bring them pictures of presidents to trade for trinkets.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 12 - 09:49 PM

Gnu, twenty years ago today I was busy pushing and puffing to deliver a bouncing 7 lb baby boy into the world. It may be my son's birthday, but it's a day I remember for all of the work involved. Perhaps your mom tells you stories of the day you were born? I think my kids kind of enjoy those stories, if they aren't told too often.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 12 - 01:10 PM

Mwahaha!! "THis white man has appeared claiming kinship, but he does not bring us another Casino License. What should we do, Brave Eagle?"

"Stake him out and let the desert have its way with him."

Hey!! IT'S GNU'S BIRTHDAY!! HOW ABBBBBOUT THAT!!! HE's FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK WITHOUT SCARING ANYONE!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 12 - 10:00 AM

Yes, the Navajo, the Hopi, the Zuni, the Apache, the Utes....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 12 - 09:21 AM

AZ, NM, southern UT, CO -- all your best beloved ditches and deserts, chunks of glorious rock and great piles of most impressive dirt. It is good to take a retreat amongst your fellows.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 12 - 01:09 AM

And with great reluctance, because they hate to "put down" any animal, I am certain that they would be unable to save either Shame or Chongo.

Well, it IS peaceful and done with compassion. Injection would probably be used with Chongo, whereas Shame would simply have a heavy rock used to flatten his head.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:41 PM

It's okay, Amos. You can eat anyone's shorts you want to. They don't have to be mine because you're a big boy now and can make your own decisions. In fact, I'm not even going to tell you where I am, except to say that I'll be visiting Best Friends. They'd let you in too, only they might not let you back out.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 09:48 PM

If I was his wife...(a truly horrifyin' thought!)...I sure as hell wouldn't be willin' to accomodate him.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 06:47 PM

I won't eat your shorts, Rapparee. Stop begging me. It is not becoming of an allegedly fully --or should that be foully?--grown man to give in so to such lowly obsessions, and I am not a good choice of participant in your perfervid but perverted schemes. The answer is no.

Have you talked to your wife about this strange impulse of yours? Perhaps she'd be willing to make some kind of accommodation.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 02:26 PM

Came by to see if that POS Ken had stopped by. Came with the dust and went with the wind............geeziz...............Just glad he didn't fall of the edge of the earth over there in Mississippi............

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 01:19 PM

Frisbeetarianism? I heard that one over 30 years ago. Some good ones in there. Thanks A.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 01:07 PM

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 12:00 PM

what flavor?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:45 AM

Mangez-vous mes shorts.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:19 AM

But we will not lack for talk,
Loud rebuffs and shallow squawk,
'Cuz we still have Little Hawk.
Backed with rhythm, on the bongo,
By the sociopathic Chongo.



Sorry, man. Didn't mean to leave you out.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 01:14 AM

Slips into the living room and pulls the quilted comforter over MOM, where she fell asleep in the recliner, again.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 01:04 AM

Tickle my guavas, latte'-boy.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 12:14 AM

Well, it says you said I was talking ragged, but that is obviously not true. Google does say "Eat my shorts" but I am going to decline. You look ugly enough with them on.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 09:23 PM

The Google translator is correct. Amos is not.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 09:06 PM

Well, Google translator said it was "Eat my shorts." I don't even know Pig Latin... don't even have the recipe. But my breaded fried pork chop recipe is deeeelicious. I prefer sirloin chops as I find they can be well cooked and still are tender while centre loin chops can sometimes be "touchy" to get juuuust right. Unfortunately, even though the sirloin are on sale at $2 a pound here, they are cut an inch thick or more... to get volume dollar sales I assume. Too thick for frying. Seriously... I saw some today that were close to 1.25". The nerve of the bastards!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 08:18 PM

I enjoy having them checked out but nopt by Rap. Or you either! :D And he didn't say shorts, I think. I dunno what he was trying to say. His Latin leaves something to be desired.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 04:26 PM

And, if your balls are black, you might wanna get that checked out.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 04:24 PM

Oops... YOU to eat.

Well, "Eat my shorts." is a more common saying, as I understand it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 04:15 PM

ANd how would you know, Mister Gnu, which term I should have used?


:>)


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 02:19 PM

Ahhh, A. My translator doesn't say Rap wants to eat his suspenders. And, didn't you mean "blue" instead of black?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 12:27 PM

1. Go get a goat.
2. Dump some olive oil and wine on it.
3. While you do that say, "This oil and wine washes away all my sins."
4. Drive the goat off into the wilderness and/or the MCRD (they're much the same).
5. Party like you're without sin. This gives you a chance to start sinning all over again.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 11:01 AM

I have many things to thank you for, sir, but repentance for and forgiveness of my sins is not among them. Such burdens are tasks of great moment and gravity which I alone must bear.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 10:28 AM

I do far, far more than you think, Good Amos. Out here there are dragons to be slain, maidens to rescue, rings to toss into volcanoes, castles to besiege, naps to take, damsels in distress, and unicorns to barbecue. I spend my time in Doing Good For Others and Bringing Sinners To Repentance.

Actually, I shall be going into the desert and for a fortnight of fasting and prayer, praying for your repentance and the forgiveness of your manifold sins. You could at least thank me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 09:21 AM

Waidaminnit, waidaminnit. Somp'n sure is fishy. Da Rapp, who claims to be retired, now claims to be bound out on vacation. Well that don't add up, do it? See, retirement is not something you can take a vacation from. So there's information missin' here, see whad I mean? Mebbe it has to do with those two large-headed dudes in baggy suits who called on His Booqieness just the night before he announced his imminent departure, ya think?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 01:01 AM

You're so close, if you want to swing by Texas on your vacation, Rap, just give me a call. It's only a 12-hour drive out of your way. I in the book. You know what town to enter, along with the name. I've love to see you guys. We have room, and can give you a Grand Tour.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 12:28 AM

Wow! I'm not even on the last page. Been busy hunting out miscreants who probably never check the MOAB thread for references to their evil-doing, and been busy getting over this cold.

Keep the course steady, and look out for the freds. They have given up on Mars, I hear, and are looking exclusively at the Blue Planet for their DNA/RNA fix. Keep your heads up.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 17 October 1:12 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.