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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Aug 11 - 11:48 PM
Amos 19 Aug 11 - 11:02 PM
gnu 19 Aug 11 - 02:22 PM
Amos 19 Aug 11 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 11 - 12:51 PM
Amos 19 Aug 11 - 09:35 AM
JennyO 19 Aug 11 - 06:40 AM
Rapparee 19 Aug 11 - 12:49 AM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 11 - 12:03 AM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 05:58 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 05:36 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 11 - 03:16 PM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 11 - 02:58 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 11 - 02:54 PM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 02:53 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 02:29 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 11 - 02:23 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 11 - 01:02 PM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 01:01 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 11 - 12:54 PM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 12:43 PM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 12:31 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 11 - 12:23 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 11:35 AM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 10:17 AM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 11 - 01:26 AM
Acme 18 Aug 11 - 12:00 AM
Rapparee 17 Aug 11 - 11:44 PM
gnu 17 Aug 11 - 05:25 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 04:46 PM
Eiseley 18 Aug 11 - 03:29 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 02:59 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 01:53 PM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 01:46 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 12:25 AM
Rapparee 18 Aug 11 - 12:10 AM
JennyO 17 Aug 11 - 10:41 PM
gnu 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM
Amos 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM
MMario 17 Aug 11 - 10:31 PM
Acme 17 Aug 11 - 10:25 PM
gnu 14 Aug 11 - 02:22 PM
Amos 14 Aug 11 - 12:21 PM
Amos 13 Aug 11 - 11:10 PM
Acme 13 Aug 11 - 11:09 PM
Eiseley 13 Aug 11 - 10:14 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 11 - 09:24 PM
gnu 13 Aug 11 - 08:44 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 11:48 PM

I had a mither once, but my brother ran it aground on the Shoals of Herring. Terrible wreck. He was lost at sea for literally hours and thought he'd have to cut off his own arm so he'd have something to eat. Fortunately the Coast Guard and some other boaters rescued him, helping him push off the sandbar before he had to start drinking his own urine for water. The mither was lost, stove in, never to sail again. For many years it was used as a navigational aid on the Mississippi until the Great Flood of '37 swept it away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 11:02 PM

Alas,our rancorous and contumacious squabbles have depressed the spirits of our Sainted Mither.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 02:22 PM

JennyO... you couldn't believe that Oy loikes tits? I just can't believe that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 01:33 PM

Rapparree, your data is so removed from reality that it would give somebody a bad trip just to download it. Really, man, get a grip, put down the opium pipe, leave the squalid Chinese dope den and return to the safe and sober bosom of your family. I beg you. The clock in the steeple strikes two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 12:51 PM

North it was. I wasn't running the ship, you, Amos, was. Boats I've navigated have never run aground.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 09:35 AM

16??46??33??N , 3??00??34??W? Odd place to run ashoal-        -Askia Mohamed Blvd, Timbuktu, Mali. This may have been a hashish dream on your part. If you meant South lat you are sitting in the Angola Basin without a shoal in sight or in deep water off the coast of West Africa...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 06:40 AM

And WHY did nobody pick up on my tit joke? C'mon eh? That was a good joke. What? Are you all so oneupmanship you can't give credit where credit is due? GeezeOH eh? At least a simple haha pat on the back?

I picked up on it all right, but I couldn't believe my eyes ;)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 12:49 AM

Gentleman? AND Captain of a ship? You're kidding, right? Franklin was the last gentleman captain and look where it got him.

Amos is of the flog-'em-all-daily school of seamanship. Why, once when he was flogging the cabin boy he ran ashoal at 16°46′33″N / 3°00′34″W, a terrible fate for such a great navigator. Of course, he got off when the tide came in. A neap tide it was, and lifted his ship right off the shoal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 12:03 AM

I think wintering the RR in Halifax would be a great idea, Amos. It would give you reason to visit the East in the summertime and do a bit of pleasant sailing over this way, then head back to sunny Socal when the snow comes. Hopefully, your novel will become a bestseller shortly and enable you to live the life of an intinerant gentleman of leisure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 05:58 PM

There ya go, A. Anchor her in Halifax. Cruise the coast and take yer Capers on as crew. Even is the bosuns don't have bosoms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 05:36 PM

Actually, because the sail plan is so divided up into small areas, she can be single-handed comfortably enough, if you don't mind going without sleep. Or catching ten-minute snoozes for a week at a stretch.

LH, there are numerous options of which the Canal is one. There is also a path across the top, you know, although RR is not really cut out for Arctic weather the way that the Issuma is. Then there is the simple expedient of pulling her sticks and shipping her over, for example, from Brownsville or Pensacola, or Vera Cruz. Neither Drake's Passage nor the Straits of Magellan appeal to me whatsoever. I like the idea of the Canal, or even wintering her in Halifax.

I've always had a fascinated fondness for charts and maps. They lead to such fancies!!!! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 03:16 PM

I'm sayin' that you might be a couple short of a 6-pack, but that's still way better than havin' NO BEER AT ALL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 03:11 PM

Are you suggestin I am nuts? What's yer problem?

They said "irritability" might be a side effect. IRRITABILITY? REALLY? YA THINK SO? Repeat that just one more rep ya... in thru the nose, out thru the mouth... I am the hill... fer fuck sake... I ammmm the hillll... ahhhh

I need a smoke.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:58 PM

One teste is better than none at all, gnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:54 PM

Did you note that Rapparee has suggested you were in command of the Persian fleet at Salamis? Methinks he is pulling your beard, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:53 PM

A.... ye live in Calleeforneeahhhh, the land of the rich and richer. I assume if I had your money, I would burn mine.

And WHY did nobody pick up on my tit joke? C'mon eh? That was a good joke. What? Are you all so oneupmanship you can't give credit where credit is due? GeezeOH eh? At least a simple haha pat on the back?

Yeah... quitting smoking is rough. Makes one teste. Why do you ask? Don't ask again. Yer pissin me off with all these questions. I can't deal with this kinda stress. I need a month an a schooner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:29 PM

"His kinda money"? Gnu, do you have some dreamy idea I am rolling in dough? LOL!!!!

As for RR, it's not imPOSSible, but....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:23 PM

It's really a lovely vessel. I guess you'd need a crew of maybe 3 people to handle it? If you did buy it, Amos, would you plan on sailing it to California? (through the Panama Canal, I would assume, not around Cape Horn)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:51 PM

My sailing experience is limited but I would undertake to refine it seriously before I went into deepwater on my own. Gnu, thanks--you and a few others who understand from the description what a wonderful opportunity the RR is have kept me sane amidst a sea of misgivingsd offered by those who do not know the sea and ships.

I spent a number of years at sea running ships of various sizes (150-350 feet) but they were large, heavy powered vessels. I have sailed small craft all my life, but that is not sufficient knowledge to undertake the magic of a 40' schooner.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:02 PM

Magellan around the world who do you think piloted? Amos. Piloted "Hespurus" also he did. Had total command of Persian fleet at Salamis Amos did. Also on "Terror" and "Erebus" he was as navigator.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:01 PM

I expect he does, LH. But, if not, with his kinda money he could buy it and hire a couple a bosoms ta sail it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:54 PM

That schooner is a beauty, Amos. I can well understand your fondness for it. Do you have much sailing experience?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:43 PM

Or, should I say... STEAL IT!!!!

Just had a detailed read. Wow. Whatta noice dory b'y! I just can't believe the price.

If ya buy it, get a spare set of bearings for the Dorade-type ventilators and keep the existing ones well maintained. Them SOBs can keep ya up all night when they start to let go. Drive ya nuts on deck the rest of the day too I suppose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:31 PM

39 large?!!! BUY IT!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:23 PM

Carried this Yoda-speak a bit too far, you have.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 11:35 AM

The boat I dream about, the pinky schooner Rosermary Ruth, is on the hard in a little river port town on the banks of the Hudson River, somewhat south of the Erie Canal.

Her owner, a bold seadog adventurer named Richard Hudson himself, aboard his own schooner the Issuma, has just fulfilled a life-long goal to reach the coast of Greenland. He had wintered last year in a harbor near Toronto, sailed over to New York when the ice broke up, made his way in early Spring up the Saint Lawrence seaway and sailed out past the bulk of Nova Scotia, stopping for repairs in a godforsaken little port in Labrador, and then crossing the Labrador Sea and the Davis Strait to Greenland.

Now he has taken the Issuma up the pleasant shores of Greenland from the Labrador Sea into Baffin Bay, while the seasonal high-pressure system remains in place, and has crossed into the beginning reaches of the famous Northwest Passage, sailing just under Devon Island into Bellot Strait as though determined to reach the cold Kamchatka sea by sailing west among the thousands of rocky islands and polar-bear homes that line those forlorn shores. He will probably not go west all the way though, as September will bring the end of the Greenland High system and the onset of frozen winds and rougher waters above the Arctic circle. He is close enough to the North Pole at present that his magnetic comapsses are now useless. He is a savvy sailor and I expect he will be back in New York before the onset of winter, but he keeps his plans close-hauled and does not discuss them.

You can follow his Arctic sailing adventures here where he posts pictures and an occasional writeup of his journeys.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 10:17 AM

To you both nuts, friends dear. Afraid not I am. Only truth I speak. On my side is righteousness. What they all say, that's.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:26 AM

Amos - Skewer you he shall. Painful will it be. Warned you we have.

(More Yoda-speak! Gotta love it...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:00 AM

Last time I climbed St. Helen's there was a whole bunch more to it. But that part blew off and was rearranged.

Takin' the youngun' to school again soon. Pardon the placement of my apostrophes. Not sure about that second one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 11:44 PM

As we drove along the Columbia River Gorge I was thinking of Woody's song, "Roll on, Columbia." He told it to, and it has been doing it for years and years. I wonder if Woody could have parted the Red Sea and led the workers into the Promise Land.

Tomorrow we shall visit Mt. St. Helen's, where I shall endeavor to avoid being tossed into the volcano as a sacrifice to Pele.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 05:25 PM

Run you thru, he will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 04:46 PM

Rapp, if you DO fall into the COlumbia RIver please have your wife take pictures. I am deeply interested in gloating if possible. Also please report on the accuracy of WOody Guthrie's lyrics concerning same. (The Columbia, not the gloating). Thanks so much, you are a gentleman and a scoundrel.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 03:29 PM

Oh, I missed you, MOM! I'm heading out to the wilds of Atlanta this afternoon with the brood. Don't fall in the Columbia, Rapparee.

I'll try to check in, folks, but if I can't, I'll send you some 'biled peanuts' and a postcard.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:59 PM

Do you see that far off glow over the edge of Future Time, just ahead? That's the shine of K Forty Two!!

Many men have heard tell of this indomitable wild spirit, but none have seen her and lived to tell the tale. She is a dark whisper in the gathering places of men after work is done, a glint of fear inthe eyes of the bold and the strong, a glimmer of hope in the hearts of the young.

Some say she has never existed except as a madcap hallucination in the fevered brains of the weak, the dying, the poisoned, or the drugged. Others hear her call in the faint-lit hours before morning. Some say we will all see and know her when her Time arrives.

Forty-Two of Kay, however, say nuffin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:53 PM

Oh. Well if you see it too, it's not a hallucination, is it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:46 PM

Yeah... I see it too.

Apologies to Geroge Carlin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:25 AM

One way to prevent Mom from drifting into such extreme landscapes of unreality is to stop feeding her hallucinogenic posts.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:10 AM

I leave Pendleto., Oregon today for Kelso, WA. Glad you woke Mom up. Her alcohol-induced comas are going to HAVE to stop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:41 PM

No, I think I was out of my head at the time. I was having this dream that there was a ginormous thread on Mudcat that had been going on for years, called the MOAB......

Wait, there really is! Spooky!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM

I rememeber the great crash of 11. Do you remember where I was?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM

THat was no coma, that was a semi-colonic!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:31 PM

*phew* Two out of my three "favorite" sites were down the SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was getting almost deperate enough to read the Twilight Series.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:25 PM

MOM! MOM! Wake up! You were dreaming you were in a coma!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 02:22 PM

Once a fortnight? I gotta mow at least once a week. Or shovel snow. Sometimes more often with the snow... sometimes every hour.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 12:21 PM

All right Mopm. Break's over. Here's some fricaseed kiwifruit macaroons for a snack. Now, pick up your shovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 11:10 PM

Our lawn was also mowed today, but not by moi. Every two weeks Pepe comes by and trims and does the whole shtick for us. He is awfully kind and darn good with green things, too!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 11:09 PM

Well, for once Idaho was hotter than North Texas. It rained last night, starting at about 3am and continuing for several hours. Delightful! It smells like compost out there now because of all of the dead turf grass and leaves out of trees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 10:14 PM

I'm starting to knit a sweater.

Something told the wild geese
It was time to go;
Though the fields lay golden
Something whispered, - 'snow'.
Leaves were green and stirring,
Berries, luster-glossed,
But beneath warm feathers
Something cautioned, - 'frost'.

All the sagging orchards
Steamed with amber spice,
But each wild breast stiffened
At remembered ice.

Something told the wild geese
It was time to fly -
Summer sun was on their wings,
Winter in their cry.

---Rachel Field


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 09:24 PM

I thought Canada was one of them hotbeds of liberal socialistic communist fascism with socialized medicine and government-subsided lawn care. But then, the whole country's always covered with snow. Why, the last time I went up there right at the border they first asked us if we had any guns with us and then they searched the car to make sure we had snow shovels, sand, tire chains, and enough blankets and food to last for a week in case we got stuck in the snow...and it was August! But right there at the border we went from 90F to a wall of snow four feet (roughly 1.5 meters) high and temperatures of -20C. Even the mosquitoes were wearing fur parkas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 08:44 PM

That's on accounta they all grow grass. I'd grow grass here but the yella stripes would come in, cut it down and burn it.

Hmmm... that sounds like free lawn maintenance eh?

I wonder if Bobert can send me any seeds.


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