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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 04:38 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 02:10 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 02:08 PM
Acme 22 Feb 11 - 01:48 PM
Little Hawk 22 Feb 11 - 01:43 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 01:15 PM
Amos 22 Feb 11 - 12:49 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM
Amos 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM
Little Hawk 22 Feb 11 - 01:10 AM
Amos 21 Feb 11 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 11 - 09:23 PM
Eiseley 21 Feb 11 - 09:12 PM
Amos 21 Feb 11 - 08:59 PM
Acme 21 Feb 11 - 06:20 PM
Little Hawk 21 Feb 11 - 05:23 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 11 - 04:42 PM
Little Hawk 21 Feb 11 - 03:37 PM
gnu 21 Feb 11 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 11 - 09:24 AM
Acme 21 Feb 11 - 12:15 AM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 10:12 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 07:28 PM
gnu 20 Feb 11 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 03:17 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 02:26 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 12:32 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 11:31 AM
Acme 20 Feb 11 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 09:27 AM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 12:26 AM
Acme 20 Feb 11 - 12:01 AM
Janie 19 Feb 11 - 11:25 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 11 - 08:35 PM
Eiseley 19 Feb 11 - 08:16 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 19 Feb 11 - 08:11 PM
Amos 19 Feb 11 - 07:54 PM
Amos 19 Feb 11 - 07:38 PM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 11 - 07:28 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 11 - 05:02 PM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 11 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 11 - 02:17 PM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 11 - 12:42 PM
Acme 19 Feb 11 - 10:16 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 04:38 PM

Neither can most Quebecois...or even moist Quebecois.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM

LH... noooo... you need an Acadian girl. I can't do a Quebec accent. Neither can most Acaians.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 02:10 PM

Come to think of it, Pierre laid a little self-defense on a photographer once. Don't mess with Quebecers eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 02:08 PM

Ahhhh... for those non-Canucks. The Little Guy From Shawinigan is Jean Chretian. Google "shawinigan handshake".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:48 PM

Traveled down the facebook rat hole this morning. That place can be as bad as YouTube for offering up distractions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:43 PM

LOL!!! Man, I gotta get me a petit Quebecois girl dat she talk like dat. Give me da shivers...but in a good way, you know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:15 PM

LH... Me, I like to 'ave Da Little Guy for 'ooever 'e's sent 'ere for no good. Dat Little Guy 'e's got da vicegrip dans le mains jezzeoheh. 'im, 'e could choke le merde out dat bunch la... wit one 'and la! But Jean is in da States at da golf. Dat 'arper e's' how you say... ah... peitie chat en anglaise.

Where I live? J'habite a Pointe-du-Chene. Take da last right before da wharf an I am tree cottages past Elvis... da one wit da Caddys in da yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 12:49 PM

Oh, Rapparee, your exertions to shuck responsibility for your own actions are just transparent and pathetic. You know you done wrong, dude; man up... Grasshopper, indeed.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:40 AM

In fact, Amos, there is just one "k" in the entire thing, and that's in the word "sunk". If you'd like I'll post forty "k"s, though. No, you may have the honor ("honour" or maybe "honuor" or whatever if you'd in one of those places).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM

Who said that was part of "The Ballad of Forty Kay"?

You jump to too many conclusions, Grasshopper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM

Dear William:

FOrget you ever head the wordf Mudcat. Abandon all pretensions of connection, all ambitions of glory, all aspirations to the forty-kay post. Forget you ever saw our faces, even if you haven't.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:10 AM

Yes, and the Darke Side is even darker than the Dark Side is! And that's DARK. I get shivers just thinking about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 10:49 PM

Evil comes in many forms, Rapparee. When a man asks one kind request--to pen the ballad of the Fortieth Kay--and you, in your next breath, betray that simple wish--and to add insult to injury, do it badly--then have you declared your self on the Darke Side indeed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 09:23 PM

On we mushed, through the sloppy slush,
The dogs damned near at their end,
And we knew full well the final bell
Would soon with the Aurora blend.
Then Amos' sled, far out ahead,
Broke through the river ice
And tho' we screamed and yelled,
We couldn't help and he vanished in a trice.
"Oh, my!" Stilly said, "what a way to go!
Sunk underneath the river's ice
And tons and tons of snow."

We mourned poor Amos 'round the fire that night
And drank in a sorrowful mood,
For o'er his loss we couldn't gloss,
'Cause his sled had had all the food.
So as we munched on a crispy haunch
That had belonged to one of his dogs,
We were glad we'd found just that one hound
Washed up from the depths below.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 09:12 PM

Amos, you may pen the ballad. Sing of MOAB, strong and glad!

I just returned from a beautiful ski trip to the wilds of Harriman State Park. The wild swans were on the river, and there was fresh snow.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 08:59 PM

Fools and unrepentant miscreants!! I have been on the road from Atascadero to Carpenteria, south to Ventura, Thousand Oaks, Los Angeles, Tustin, San Clemente, Oceanside, Del Mar, La Jolla, and thus home. I have been wading through about 100 emails and other connections in an effort to regroup and recenter my focus here at home after three days in the wild rich hinterlands of the Central Coast. Go to!!

As for the Fortieth of Kay, I care not who signs the post, if I get to pen the ballad.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 06:20 PM

You'll have to survey the hunting history here on the MOAB terrain. I think you'll find the distaff side has bagged a few big ones.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 05:23 PM

It's Amos who thirsts for the big Four-Oh with a perfervid and unnatural lust. In fact, he has become overwrought about it to the point where he has had to be sedated, and that accounts for the fact that he hasn't posted here in a bit... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 04:42 PM

Well, to be honest, I don't care about copping the big forty either. Now, the big five-oh...nah, I'll wait until Mom gets closer to my age: dibs on 100,000!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 03:37 PM

LOL!!! By Gar, you don' mess around wit' da little guy from....where are you from, gnu?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 01:56 PM

As for the much fairer sex herein being affronted, I offer that they do not partake in the oneupmanship games and also don't give a flitting duck about copping The Big Fourty.

As for sending any of your friends to abridge my physical prowess in any way, shape or form, send friends you do not care about as I, sir, am an able marksman and I have enough firepower to instigate a small revolution.

BTW... Pierre ne Pêter pas maintenant, la. Il est morte.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 09:24 AM

I would like this to be done in a way that he won't insult women again...but without breaking his kneecaps and elbows. Just a bullet or a blade...wait, Eiseley is a pretty fair shot....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 12:15 AM

Perhaps Stilly and Eiseley will "call on him."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 10:33 PM

Nice footwork under fire there, Rap. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 10:12 PM

Lessee, there's...ah...well, my two brothers...but they're both nuts...and there's my friend...no, he's dead...well, how about...no, he's in the State Hospital...oh, I know! Pete Trudeau! And he's Canadian! Had some sort of government job for a while, but I think he's currently unemployed. No relation to Gary Trudeau, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 09:40 PM

You have friends? How many?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 07:28 PM

You, sir, have just insult the fair Eiseley and the beautiful Stilly, not to mention Janie and others.

Apologize at once, sirrah, or I will be forced to have my friends call upon you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 03:34 PM

I think this thread should stop at 39,999... until khandu posts 40k. That might be a way to alleviate the oneupmanship herewithin.

Of course, that is only my perception of the good hearted banter and straightperson setups I have observed at times.

Nonetheless, it only seems befitting to me that the OP should be allowed and encouraged to wear this honour, if, indeed, it really is an honour and not just a biggest dick contest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 03:17 PM

Say that when you're wearing the cloaks that Frederick used, or being ground between the teeth of Satan himself in the lowest Circle. (I've been reading in Dante -- could you tell?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 02:34 PM

Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 02:26 PM

Yes, and for that you will be damned eternally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 12:36 PM

Yes, but I don't idolize you guys. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 12:32 PM

So, for that matter, are Amos and me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 11:31 AM

That has nothing to do with it. Winona Ryder, Bob Dylan, and Joan Baez are all from south of the Canadian border.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 11:23 AM

I'd like it better if Little Hawk was enamored of Leonard Nimoy, but since Nimoy is a native of Boston, I imagine it's too much to ask, that he choose an idol from south of the border.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 09:27 AM

I stand corrected. You are correct: I am an ashatnerist.

Boy, things are getting complicated when your own creations correct you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 12:26 AM

Rapparee, an "ashatner" is simply someone who is not Shatner.

You are most definitely not Shatner! ;-) So you are an ashatner. And so am I. Amos is about as much of an ashatner is it is possible to be.

Someone who doesn't believe in Shatner, on the other hand, is an ashatnerist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 12:01 AM

I don't know anyone who breaks kneecaps at UNT, so hopefully those folks are on their toes and know you've written three great papers, Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 11:25 PM

Eiseley,

I strongly recommend you go to your local gourmet food co-op and insist, if they do not already have it, that they special order you some Delice de Bourgogne cheese, triple cream.    If possible, enjoy it with a California old vine Zinfandel and good quality water crackers. Apple juice and store brand tortilla chips will do in a pinch.

You deserve it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 08:35 PM

After careful consideration of all the evidence, I must admit that I have become an ashatner. No, I can no longer believe that William Shatner exists. Since I no longer believe in "him" he doesn't exist, if he ever did (he may have been the result of a stomach upset I once had).

Congratulations, Eiseley. Know that you WILL get highest marks in and on everything you deserve a break, however short it may be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 08:16 PM

Whew! I just submitted my three erudite and compelling research papers into the maw of the Great Literary Machine. Now I think I'll go read a book, or take a nap. Tomorrow I'm going skiing and I won't think about databases, the theory and practice of information science, or censorship at all!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 08:11 PM

Allright, here I am. Two reasons. One, Stilly River Sage expressed concern as to whether I might or might not post here soon...and the first thing I learned as a cadet at Starfleet Academy was this: Always be attentive to women!

Second reason. I really must ask you people to stop bombarding me with pleadings emails, snail mail, facebook messages, hurled notes tied to bricks, and other such frantic missives. I am not going to promise that I will post the 40,000th post on this thread.

Why would I make such a promise? And if I did make it, how could I guarantee to keep it? It's quite apparent to me that there are a few individuals here...at least 2 or 3 of them...who are hellbent on posting the 40,000th post on this thread to prove to themselves...against all evidence to the contrary...that they have a life...and that their presence here is of considerable importance. They are already jockeying amongst themselves like men aiming to make off with the same lovely damsel, intent on snaring the 40,000th post and snatching it out from under the very noses of their comrades.

It's droll. I used to watch Klingons engage in such puerile competitions, only those usually ended in blood and severing of numerous body parts.

Why would I devote any of my own time to competing with these sorry little people? What would it gain me? Nothing.

So don't bet on me appearing here with the 40,000th post. Not too likely. Not unless you like betting against really long odds...and you feel lucky. ;-)

- William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 07:54 PM

We crested over a frozen ridge
And over a frozen plain
Just mushing blind on an ice-hard line
Of frozen, midnight pain.
We were past the seven hundredth post
In that soulless, ice-hard place
And the wind blew a hole through each hardened soul
And froze each hardened face.
We,d have given-- each man-- his good right hand
For a kinder, warmer day
Or an end to the noise--but we had no choice
But slog on, toward the next of Kay!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 07:38 PM

hi, Mom!

Safe at Mudlark's after gruesome 300 mile drive in sheets of solid rain and high winds all along the coast. Made music and drank good Scotch until wee hours. Lovely to be safe and dry after that drive.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 07:28 PM

Ah, but they all think they're conscious, don't they? ;-) Just ask them!

Then hold up one of their personal emotional triggers, like waving the red flag at the bull, and watch them instantly lose all conscious governance of their automatic reflex reactions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 05:02 PM

Folks gotta BE conscious, first. Most don't even make that step.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 03:24 PM

Yup. If God is both infinite and omnipresent (and many traditions assert such a concept)...then everyone is God, whether they know it or not (they usually don't). And everything is God. Even the squirrel on the branch and the cloud in the sky are God. And inside you is God.

Therefore "Seek ye the Kingdom of Heaven which is within."

That is the essence of both esoteric Christianity and all the Eastern religions. The Kingdom of Heaven spoken of in that passage is clearly a state of consciousness, and it is that state of consciousness which is the Guru as well.

The mind likes to divide things up and put one thing apart from another. Thus people who insist on approaching the matter ONLY through their chattering mind will also insist on having an idea of a "God" separate from themselves. They want a God that's "over there" somewhere at a distance, so they can pray to Him (or Her)...complain to Him or Her...petition Him or Her...even blame Him or Her for the lousy time they're having! ;-) Or they can deny the existence of that separate being, because there's no "evidence" for it! Hilarious. How do you deny the existence of consciousness itself when you have barely gone beyond the most superficial levels of your own consciousness?

I'd call that the Kindergarten level of conceptualizing God...but it's far more common than the recognition that what you seek lies within...within yourself...and it is a heightened level of consciousness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 02:17 PM

"Thou art God."
       --Valentine Michael Smith


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 12:42 PM

As Bob Dylan once said, Janie..."If you want somebody you can trust...trust yourself!"

However, at least the guy was honest enough to say "I don't know." He could have instead extemporized some brilliant-sounding stuff off the top of his head, couldn't he? ;-) And many would.

The world "guru" gets used a lot when referring to experts of some sort. I find it a bit odd. What the word "guru" actually means in Sanskrit is "a light that shines in the darkness". That light is simply the light of dawning awareness. Awareness brings in light where there was only darkness.

People think of the guru as a person who leads other people, because of the tradition in India of students gathering around a spiritual teacher and forming a community which that teacher serves to lead. It's a long tradition. What most people fail to realize is that the true guru is inside YOU, not outside you. It's your own latent ability to achieve an expanded awareness, and it's in you in every moment of your existence, waiting to be progressively awoken. It can be awoken by...

quieting the mind
observing the body very carefully
feeling and observing your emotions and other feelings
not judging them, simply quietly observing them
witnessing them
after awhile they move on, and something else arises

That's one way.

It can also be awoken by...

Not judging others.
Accepting the present moment instead of resisting it.
Acting when action is required, instead of remaing passive due to fear.
Applying yourself to things instead of procrastinating.
Showing self-discipline and pursuing good health.
Excercising the body and mind in useful ways.
Loving life instead of resisting it.

And so on....

At any rate, the true guru is NOT another person. It's the highest possibility of consciousness inside you. A really good spiritual teacher, like a good scholastic teacher, simply inspires you to reach inside yourself and find what you always had...and bring it forth.

You are the light that shines in your own darkness. You are the Guru.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 10:16 AM

Janie, you need to hang out your public speaker shingle and discuss this! Become the Next Big Thing in the Speakers' Bureau list.


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