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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 05 Sep 09 - 02:57 PM
Amos 05 Sep 09 - 02:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 09 - 02:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 09 - 10:50 AM
Acme 05 Sep 09 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 09 - 09:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 09 - 06:40 AM
Amos 05 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM
Janie 05 Sep 09 - 12:29 AM
Janie 04 Sep 09 - 10:36 PM
Amos 04 Sep 09 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 09:45 PM
Acme 04 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 09 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 04:50 PM
Amos 04 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Sep 09 - 03:37 PM
Amos 04 Sep 09 - 11:41 AM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 09 - 10:29 AM
Amos 04 Sep 09 - 10:08 AM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 09:49 AM
Acme 04 Sep 09 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 09:24 AM
Acme 03 Sep 09 - 10:46 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 09:31 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 04:51 PM
MMario 03 Sep 09 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 03:50 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 01:48 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 01:47 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 11:31 AM
Acme 03 Sep 09 - 11:04 AM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 10:34 AM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 10:18 AM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 06:33 AM
Acme 02 Sep 09 - 11:51 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 10:48 PM
John Hardly 02 Sep 09 - 09:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Sep 09 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 09 - 09:21 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 08:51 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 09 - 08:37 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 02:57 PM

Incoherency is quite common in people returning from a visit to Chinga's house of ill repute...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 02:39 PM

You hike from he international border through to demented tumult of a Mexican border city, breathing bus air and listening to the susuurrus of commerce, the complaints of children, offers of sales of every kind. You hike across dangerous intersecion with gracious senoria's and bull-necked cops mlling aroun dit,
Finally you get to a quit office in a back street with a from waiting room where a nice MExican girl comes out and gives you a sedative.

After that everyhing gets mellower depite inoculations of novocaine and frinding and other strange noises.

I am home with the new implant joint firmly screwed in.

More when coherent.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 02:24 PM

Then again, that 150 mile figure is based on an east-to-west trajectory going from just east of the Alabama/Mississippi line near Meridian to just west of the Louisiana/Mississippi line at Vicksburg. It's the shortest possible distance from Alabama to Louisiana. But if the guy with a banjo on his knee lived in Sulphur Springs, Alabama (up near Chattanooga, TN) and his true love lived in Lake Charles, LA, it's more like 600 miles. That banjo would get mighty heavy by the end of that trip, especially if it wuz a Gibson RB or a Stelling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 10:50 AM

But they were only going from Alabamy to Louisiany. Sure, it's west, but it's only about 150 miles. Anybody can travel that far with a real banjo on his knee. But if you wanna go to Chile, it'd be easier to go with the tattoo.

♫♫
Oh, I come from Floribamy with a banjo on my knee
I'm goin' to see my honey, way down south in Chilee
♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 10:46 AM

One day the cultures of tatoo artist and body piercer are going to merge, and people will be walking around with a counted cross stitch banjo on their knee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 09:52 AM

All those folks who headed West had a banjo on their knee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 06:40 AM

Hi, Mom!

I wonder if anyone has ever had a banjo tattooed on his knee.

♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM

Fun travels. Janie! See you in October!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 12:29 AM

Burning up the fossil fuel this month, MOM, and doing my bit to aid global warming. Heading back up to WV very early in the a.m, this time with Sum Yung Sun in tow to visit his grandparents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:36 PM

that would be "hainting" I suppose.

Or in some parts, hain'ting.

Shall we collude on hainting the folkie folks at the Getaway?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:19 PM

Forget it, Big Guy. When your number is up, you are bound for the Getaway, willy or nilly...


Actually I am just practicing my hanting--sorry I interrupted your dinner!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:45 PM

It happened again in my mashed potatoes at dinner.

I'm going to run off to Logan and see if that might break this chain of...occurrences.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM

But sharp!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 06:03 PM

I don't usually deal with food products like that, though. The very idea is cheesy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 04:50 PM

I just made a quesadilla and on it appeared the face of Amos! Holding a banjo!

I carefully fed it down the disposal. No one should be subject to that sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM

Get in touch with Little Hawk, BL...he's quite accomplished at endowing synthetic personalities onto almost any old piece of stuff he comes across.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 03:37 PM

Hi, Mom! I just made a grilled cheese sandwich. When I looked at it closely, it looked like bread that had been lightly singed. No picture of Jesus, Mary, Lassie, or anyone. I was quite surprised! I thought grilled cheese sandwiches were supposed to have faces on them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 11:41 AM

I assure you, I have not lost sight of your multi-personality syndrome, sir.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:29 AM

Heh! Heh! Well, yes, but I'm a very busy man. You must remember that. I have a large number of personas to attend to and sustain, and they all have busy lives full of drama and intrigue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:08 AM

LH:

Jeeze, we're talking about 18 posts here!! That's short-term memory!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:49 AM

Well, as long as they weren't selling any pot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:46 AM

That would be an individual choice. It would probably increase the take in busking, but the session would probably finish abruptly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:24 AM

Will that involve them taking off their clothes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:46 PM

While it might be too noisy to play a few tunes on the median, perhaps you two can agree to pull over at the same rest area, preferably one with good acoustics in the men's room? If you chose to stop at a rest area just entering one of the states then they might have a welcome center lobby where you could set out your guitar cases and sing and play; do a little busking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:31 PM

Okay, okay, you wanna make an emergency outta the whole thing, I'll play along. Call me in 9.4x10^6 years and I'll have a solution all ready for you well in advance of need.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 09:31 PM

Well, I've just returned from the Legion Hovel and THEY are taking this seriously even if Amos is not. Fire-In-The-Hole Hollis and Randy Randy and some of the other oldtimers are gonna take that old French 75 they got and point it in the direction opposite to what we're goin' and try to slow this whole thing down by shootin' it off. They figger the recoil will do it. Mind you, that's only until they get the ion warp engine up and working and for that they need more beer for fuel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 04:51 PM

Aw, Rapaire, gimme a call in 9.4x10^7 years and we'll work something out.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 04:02 PM

MOM will probably be around to watch. YOu know how she likes those disaster shows on TV, train wrecks, auto smash-ups that sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM

The Andromeda Masters are accelerating their rate of closure and the gravitational pull of our beloved galaxy will further accelerate the Andromedans!

Amos, we MUST act before it is too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 03:50 PM

Rapaire,

The Andromeda nebula is about 2.5 million light years away from our system. That's roughly 14,696,249,535,689,700,000,000 miles. At 180,000 miles per hour, the intersection will occur in 9.4497 x10^8 years from now. Almost a thousand million years.

Chill, dude.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM

Are you under the impression, Amos, that I faithfully memorize all your past triumphant snaggings of various (supposedly) significantly-numbered posts on this thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 03:33 PM

DEATH COMING AT 50 MILES PER SECOND!!

I have hesitated to post this information because of the panic that will probably ensue, but the Andromeda galaxy has been found to be a "cannibal", sucking into it the stars of the galaxies it passes by or through in its journey through the universe.

Our Milky Way galaxy is heading directly for it at 50 miles per second (180,000 miles per hour!).

The collision is, at this point, unavoidable. Unless, of course, WE do something. If you have any suggestions on how to avert this coming wreck, please post them here. NASA (as well as the NSA, CIA, and other government agencies) read MOAB religiously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 01:48 PM

If a young lady's measurements were 31 1 13 wouldn't she fall forward a lot? Digestion might also be a problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 01:47 PM

Awake, awake you sleepy sons of Mom!
Cast off your dull conviction and aplomb!
Shed all the habits of your daily stress
And give yourself to Mom, and to BS!!

Throw off the chains of ordinary datum,
And if you need some data, why create 'em!
The weight of common sense, too, cast away
And with the MOAB crew give o'er to play!!

Gandolvius Magister III
Ditties for Halfwits
Alice Springs, 1949


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM

Besides, sleepy-head, I already CLAIMED 31 1 13. Don't you remember?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM

No, Stilly, John and I won't be meeting in the park. I'll be there the last weekend in September. John will be there the first weekend in November. I'll be in the Alabama mountains while John's in Pensacola. We'll both be on Interstate 65 at about the same time, but we'll be headed in opposite directions. Maybe we can stop and play a few tunes in the median?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:31 AM

"We haven't seen a mole around MOM's yard in years now."

What more proof do you want? Geez! My advice is, keep those spinners right where they are. You'd be up to your eyeballs in moles by now if you hadn't installed those spinners.

I have a friend who wears elephant repellant for much the same reason. He heard that elephants sometimes will run amok and trample people, so he is prepared at all times. It has worked magnificently. He hasn't seen an elephant once in the last 10 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:04 AM

Spinners! What are they good for? You poke them in the lawn to scare off moles. We haven't seen a mole around MOM's yard in years now. Gotta find a new use for them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:34 AM

It would have been even better if it were 31 1 13 .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:18 AM

31 1 31

So!

You zee?

It is self-evident, no?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:06 AM

Cuddlee Smith?   I dated her in junior high when her form was just beginning to fit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM

If you see a blond named Cuddlee, she fits her form really well and she'll fit yours, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 06:33 AM

Do what Shane and his buddies do. Meet behind the dumpster at the local Tim Horton's. Station a lookout in the parking lot to watch for "the fuzz".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 11:51 PM

You two pot heads gonna meet in a park? Don't let the cops catch you. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 10:48 PM

If you'e done by 1 October, John, swing over to Maryland's West River shore.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 09:40 PM

Well, I'm coming down this year to give it a shot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 09:22 PM

Hey, John....

Nah, we don't do the GGAF. We do a show called Homestead Hollow near Birmingham that weekend. It's one of those rural things sorta like Amish Acres. It's mostly crafts, not art, but we do very well there.

Our big fall show on Pensacola is the Pensacola Seafood Festival. It's held in the same park as the GGAF, in late September. After three days of that crowd, I don't even wanna see that park for a few months.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 09:21 PM

I did. I answered you two days ago, and I just answered you again. I'm polite and neat and just an all-around swell sort of guy, the sort you don't meet every day because there are so very few of us left.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:51 PM

Oh, for fie!! You are ganging up, aren't you?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:37 PM

Rapaire! Look at your danged PMs, would you?


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