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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 08:56 AM
MMario 04 Dec 08 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 09:21 AM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 09:35 AM
MMario 04 Dec 08 - 09:38 AM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 09:51 AM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 10:02 AM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 10:59 AM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 12:20 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 08 - 12:38 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 02:29 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 02:51 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 03:07 PM
MMario 04 Dec 08 - 03:22 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 08 - 03:28 PM
MMario 04 Dec 08 - 03:48 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 08 - 04:00 PM
MMario 04 Dec 08 - 04:05 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 08 - 04:12 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 04:15 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 04:25 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 04:48 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 06:47 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 07:07 PM
Acme 04 Dec 08 - 07:25 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 08:05 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 09:46 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 10:27 PM
Amos 04 Dec 08 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 08 - 11:00 PM
Acme 04 Dec 08 - 11:31 PM
Amos 05 Dec 08 - 12:59 AM
Amos 05 Dec 08 - 09:21 AM
Acme 05 Dec 08 - 09:50 AM
Rapparee 05 Dec 08 - 10:14 AM
MMario 05 Dec 08 - 10:19 AM
Amos 05 Dec 08 - 10:23 AM
MMario 05 Dec 08 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 05 Dec 08 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 05 Dec 08 - 01:10 PM
Amos 05 Dec 08 - 02:25 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 08 - 03:09 PM
Amos 05 Dec 08 - 03:36 PM
Acme 06 Dec 08 - 12:31 AM
Acme 06 Dec 08 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 06 Dec 08 - 11:15 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 08:56 AM

"Then, as the book saith, Sir Launcelot began to resort unto Queen Guenever again, and forgat the promise and the perfection that he made in the quest. For, as the book saith, had not Sir Launcelot been in his privy thoughts and in his mind so set inwardly to the queen as he was in seeming outward to God, there had no knight passed him in the quest of the Sangreal; but ever his thoughts were privily on the queen, and so they loved together more hotter than they did to-forehand, and had such privy draughts together, that many in the court spake of it, and in especial Sir Agravaine, Sir Gawaine's brother, for he was ever open-mouthed."
----------
"So, to pass upon this tale, Sir Launcelot went unto bed with the queen, and he took no force of his hurt hand, but took his pleasaunce and his liking until it was in the dawning of the day; and wit ye well he slept not but watched, and when he saw his time that he might tarry no longer he took his leave and departed at the window, and put it together as well as he might again, and so departed unto his own chamber; and there he told Sir Lavaine how he was hurt. Then Sir Lavaine dressed his hand and staunched it, and put upon it a glove, that it should not be espied; and so the queen lay long in her bed until it was nine of the clock."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 09:18 AM

HOLY FREEKIN' JAYZUS!

Matt_r, our little Mbo is THIRTY!

Where the hell has time gone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 09:21 AM

There's a great big hole outside of Big Neck, Illinois. It sucks up Time, so that's where The Time went. This is the Time Hole for North America; there are similar holes in various places around the world. The sucked-up Time is polished and completely refurbished by kobalds and let out through other holes (called "Time Spewers") and reused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 09:35 AM

Wait, wait. He was just turniong eighteen when into these hallowed halls first I fell, like a great eagle skewered by the bolt of a goode crosse bowe. That was NOT 12 years ago. It was ten years ago. That's bad enough. Maybe he was not eighteen. Maybe he was a very young twenty?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 09:38 AM

All I know is I'm actually more freaked out by this then when any of my nephews or nieces turned 30.

How the heck can Mbo be THIRTY! But he says so on the Kendall health thread and he should know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 09:51 AM

Well, he should kinow, yes. No guarantees, though. But it is more likely he was confused ten years ago than that he is confused now, I suppose.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 10:02 AM

A little research reveals he turned 21 in 1999:

"Date: 06 Dec 99 - 08:30 AM

I had a birthday on Saturday, and I turned 21.

One's 21st birthday means coming of age, and being officially considered an adult. So, I got to thinking about time and my future life as an adult, and a great poem by J.R.R. Tolkien came to mind. Here it is--enjoy.

I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen,
Of meadow-flowers and butterflies in summers that have been;
Of yellow leaves and gossamer in autumns that there were,
With morning mist and silver sun and wind upon my hair.
I sit beside the fire and think of how the world will be
When winter comes without a spring that I shall never see.
For still there are so many things that I have never seen:
In every wood in every spring there is a different green.
I sit beside the fire and think of people long ago,
And people who will see a world that I shall never know.
But all the while I sit and think of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door.


By J.R.R. Tolkien (from The Fellowship of The Ring)


--Mbo "

Thus, in 2008, he turns thirty.

Voila!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 10:59 AM

an invited speaker at a Conference held at Girton College, Cambridge.

What--they wanted to provide comic relief, or find out what the dumbasses from the colonies would say? WHat did you speak about? "Wise Choices: Door Hardware and Shower Fixtures for the 21st Century Library"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 11:08 AM

I saw mummy hit Santa Claus


"LONDON: Angry parents have beaten up Santa and three of his elves after taking their children to visit a "rip-off" Christmas grotto in England.

Visitors who forked out £30 ($69) a ticket to enter the grotto were promised a Christmas wonderland where "dreams really do come true".

However disappointed families have spoken of a "glorified car boot sale" with a Nativity scene painted on a billboard, a broken ice-skating rink and huskies tied up outside their kennels in a muddy field.

The park has now been renamed "Winter blunderland" and Britain's consumer watchdog has received 1300 complaints.

Former gate worker Adrian Wood said parents became angry when Santa refused to allow children to sit on his knee and charged an extra £10 for a picture.

"The final straw for one dad came when after four hours he was told he would have to join another queue for his child to get a present - so he marched up and punched Santa on the chin," Mr Wood told The Sun.

"The park was more like a war zone. How there weren't riots I've no idea."

Emma Craven, who worked as an elf, was slapped in the face by one woman who was fed up with the long wait for her children to see Santa. "The woman was screaming, 'Look what you've done to my kids'," she told the newspaper. "Then she slapped me around the face. It stung like hell as it was freezing."

It was claimed one child had to be comforted after finding a Santa smoking a cigarette outside his grotto.

Ivan Hancock, from Dorset County Council's trading standards department, said: "I've never known anything spark so many complaints in my 20 years of working with three different authorities. We have had 1300 people contact us. I've heard of someone spending £3000 on tickets and terrible stories of real human misery."

A park spokesman blamed "a few groups of professional troublemakers" for problems.
"


Harding's the name, Dick Harding. I'm known for a lot of things. Mostly, I'm known for trouble. That's my trade. It's what I do. I make trouble. I'm a pro. Pros know how to do it right. If you really want some trouble, you'll get better quality if you call on a pro--believe me, I know. Ya wouldn't believe the times I had to be called in to handle a trouble-making situation where some amateur had offered to do the job cheap, and ended up creating nothing but minor irritation or some stupid transient upset between a couple of fringe bit players. That's not real troubl;e. You want REAL trouble, you call a pro. Like me. The names Harding, like I said. Dick Harding. You want trouble, give me a call.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 12:20 PM

Actually Amos, I discussed data mining in the old Pick operating system (now called U2 and owned by IBM).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 12:38 PM

Get with it, Stilly! You're losing ground here in the posting totals and your once secure place as one third of the Central Ruling Triumvirate of the MOABS is being threatened by a sly putsch being launched by MMario!

Running Dog interventionists must not be allowed to hatch their nefarious schemes!

I have a hundred thousand fanatical young MOABists ready to spring into action and subject MMario to a public show trial where he will be forced to recant and apologize for his crimes against the People.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 02:29 PM

So...lemme see if I have this straight. Having become frustrated in your attempts to become a Gigolo to the Stars, a Has-Been Talent agent, and a P.T. Barnum of Imaginary Animals, with Alcoholic Juvenile Delinquents as a sideshow, you are now setting forth on a new career as an Extreme Ideological Rabblerouser?

I dunno, Hawkster. Seems the old expression "Get a Life" might have been coined with you in mind. You may end up starting serious damage to Western Civ if you go on at this rate.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 02:51 PM

I took Western Civ years ago, Amos, and there ain't a lot LH can do to it. Believe me, there isn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 02:58 PM

MEbbe, maybe not, If there's nothing much he can do to harm it, surely he could find some more effective way to advance it out of the miasmic quicksand of manic irrelevance in which it has found itself lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 03:03 PM

From what I've learned of it it's always been in that quicksand, Amos. Someone jumping on its head isn't going to make it sink any further or any faster.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 03:07 PM

Just a thought on energy saving:

That little light that goes on when you open the refrigerator door -- would it save any energy if that was replaced by a candle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 03:22 PM

HEY! What crimes against the peoples?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 03:28 PM

You are attempting to supplant a ruling member of the Gang of Three, MMario. To do that is to verge into dangerous territory which can best be described as "counterrevolutionary" or perhaps even..."revisionist"!

Amos, I really don't know what I would do without your earnest efforts to save me from my...dare I say it?...."jejeunite"...if there is such a word (please place an accent mark on the final 'e'). I am eternally grateful for your solicitous and compassionate concern on my behalf. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 03:48 PM

NO makee sense, LH!

1) there is no "Gang of Three"

2) if there WERE a "gang of three" I'd just ask Mom for permission to have it be a "gang of four" or whatever.

3) If there were a "gang" of howevermany" - implying a position of power, their overthrow or supplantation would be in AIDE of the peoples, not a crime against the peoples.

4) all I was doing was coming in here and having literary diarrhea as has been my wont for many thousands of posts.


You've been hanging out with ilk again, haven't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 04:00 PM

So, Mario....you resist my attempts to provoke political controversy at the higher levels of the MOABS? Well, sir, perhaps you will escape the concern and zealous scrutiny of the party operatives at this time. We shall see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 04:05 PM

MOM!

Little Hawk's been smoking ilk-dung again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 04:12 PM

And the pity of it is....I didn't even get a buzz!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 04:15 PM

Mom told me that it's a "Gang of n".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 04:25 PM

In all this going to and fro, this sturm and drang given and received, one constant in these hallowed halls has been pi.

We should learn from this to be more radial and take our positions diametrically, and to be, too, more centered and less absorbed in perimetrical matters. What goes a-round becomes, in turn, the center of dicourse.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 04:48 PM

So is e, the square root of -1, c, the length of a meter, and some other things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM

Yes, but less so. The translation is non-linear for those things, but pi carries its spatial relationship built into the definition, so it remain constant in every universe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 06:47 PM

No, it doesn't. Mathematically it can't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:07 PM

I say it does.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:25 PM

LH, I was just now catching up after opening the thread and thinking "Geez, louise, but these guys must all be retirees!" Don't they ever get any work done?

I get two weeks over the holidays, maybe my thread count will increase.

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 08:05 PM

No finer linen will arise therefrom, as by the fairest thread, and not the greatest number, thy loom is known.

Oh, by the way:

"In Wolfram von Eschenbach's telling, the Grail was kept safe at the castle of Munsalvaesche (mons salvationis), entrusted to Titurel, the first Grail King. Some, not least the monks of Montserrat, have identified the castle with the real sanctuary of Montserrat in Catalonia, Spain. Other stories claim that the Grail is buried beneath Rosslyn Chapel or lies deep in the spring at Glastonbury Tor. Still other stories claim that a secret line of hereditary protectors keep the Grail, or that it was hidden by the Templars in Oak Island, Nova Scotia's famous "Money Pit", while local folklore in Accokeek, Maryland says that it was brought to the town by a closeted priest aboard Captain John Smith's ship. Turn of the century accounts state that Irish partisans of the Clan Dhuir (O'Dwyer, Dwyer) transported the Grail to the United States during the 19th Century and the Grail was kept by their descendents in secrecy in a small abbey in the upper-Northwest (now believed to be Southern Minnesota)"

As the direct heiress of the D(w)yer clan, I'd like to know what you know about smuggling the Holy Grail to the Pacific Northwest or Southern Minnesota, whichever comes first.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 09:46 PM

Well, I'm not supposed to tell anyone but I have it here at the house.

And I say it doesn't. You've ignored the possibility of a one-dimensional universe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 10:27 PM

Well, sir, you have been hoist by your own petard, there. Indeed, the Grail could never have come from the Holy Land to your house--not even if Perceval, or Saint Clair himself, had borne it--if this were a one dimensional universe. For your house was never extant when they had it, nor anywhere near where they had it when it finally showed up. So two dimensions is clearly your minimum, even if they walked over the waters and straight to Idaho, which no-one in their right mind would want to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 10:55 PM

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
?Buddha


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 11:00 PM

A one-dimensional universe would preclude the circle, because if a circle were included it would have diameter AND would be effectively infinite (although a straight line could be of infinite length). No circle, no pi.

As for the grail, it was entrusted to me three years ago by an old man, a descendant of Percival (or Parsifal, if you prefer). He had no descendants and was the last of his line, so he entrusted it to the only person he knew who was "sans peur et sans reproche." He -- his surname was Dulac and I never knew his first name -- died very shortly thereafter and was "buried at sea" in what remains of Gray's Lake. I wasn't at his funeral and so cannot verify the stories about it so I shan't repeat them here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 11:31 PM

Aren't you clever, Amos! It was included in part of my de-cluttering project as I move some stuff out of here. The grail didn't go for much on eBay; it was supposed to go in the collectible -> antiquities -> priceless vessels category, but I'd had a little wine that evening when I was listing it and it ended up in the collectible -> vessels -> tug boat category, who knows how, but it did. Tugs don't go for much these days. They're high maintenance. The winning bid was $2.39.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 12:59 AM

So...did you sneak off to Idaho and smuggle it across Interstate lines from Rapaire's? Or did Rapaire steal it from you while the bidding was going on? Or is Rapaire just making up his end of the story?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 09:21 AM

It is a dark--nay, tragic--reflection on modern life that an object once so revered and so decorated with legend and moral narrative and fine mythic example, should be named in the same sentence as the terrible neologism "de-cluttering", a Walmart word if ever there was one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 09:50 AM

You had it--it was never in Idaho, but it wasn't in Minnesota, either. Rapaire was pulling your leg, or if there is an object there, it is bogus. It was in a Dwyer attic in Connecticut for years and years. Then it travelled to Tejas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 10:14 AM

I dunno -- this one has a pedigree (a vellum document with the names of the caretakers) which goes way, way back. In fact, the bottom of the cup is etched with "This Is JC's Grail, MDCXXX Via Cerise, Nazareth. If found return to owner or be smitten with boils and worse." The first name on the vellum is "Mariam of Magdela, Easter, AD 29. Screw this crap, I'm off to Cannes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 10:19 AM

AHA! Obviously a forgery as Mariam would not have used AD dating.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 10:23 AM

I think that is a mistranslation. What you took to mean "I'm off to Cannes" is probably ad Canes viamamos, meaning "this place is going to the dogs".

In any case I can't think of a more futile exercise than correcting the grammar or scholarship of a boondoggle. It would be like trying to proofread a dream.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 10:25 AM

And shouldn't it be AD 33?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 10:35 AM

I dunno. I wasn't alive back then. But most scholars date the birth of you-know=who to 5BCE.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 01:10 PM

I just looked at it again and noticed that the maker's mark on the bottom (did I mention it's ceramic?) is B-W-L.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 02:25 PM

Aha. Stilly was right. That's not the GRail atall. It is the pot to which BWL has been going all these years.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 03:09 PM

I thought he was too danged poor to have a pot for that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 03:36 PM

I said "to"....not "in". Silly Wibwaywian!


So long, Mom!! We are pff tp the Nprth Country to hear barky play in a symphony.


Back Monday. Use only refined language until then, and remember your long-term favorite son,



A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Dec 08 - 12:31 AM

We've been and are back from our concert this evening. A student group as a four-piece jazz band. A few clunkers along the way and a pouting drummer, but overall, not bad.

It's cold out there, MOM! Must be winter arriving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Dec 08 - 11:09 AM

MOM, I'll be head-first into the eBay stuff today, but I'll try to remember to come check on you. But let's get you started with a simple breakfast. Homemade (of course! No freezer section for us) buttermilk pancakes, a sliced apple (I'm in a hurry) and a cuppa hot tea. Better use the sieve when you pour it into your cup--the tea ball opened up in the pot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 08 - 11:15 AM

Let it stand a bit and toss a handful of sand or salt in to settle the leaves.

Amos is NOT going to a concert "up north." He's a secret member of the Bohemians and he's going to the Bohemian Grove to carouse naked with other (male) pseudo-movers-'n'-shakers. Come to think of it, they will be ACTUAL "movers and shakers" as the prance around nekkid in the Grove. Cheney, W, Amos, Kim Il Sung, Prince Charles -- all prancing around moving and shaking, drinking too much beer....


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