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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 28 Feb 09 - 09:06 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 09:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 10:27 PM
Janie 01 Mar 09 - 12:28 AM
Janie 01 Mar 09 - 12:35 AM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 12:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Mar 09 - 01:20 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 01:39 PM
Acme 01 Mar 09 - 01:43 PM
Janie 01 Mar 09 - 01:44 PM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 01:47 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 04:45 PM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 05:17 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 05:42 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 05:43 PM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 08:36 PM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 01:31 AM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 01:36 AM
Ebbie 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 08:55 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 09:11 AM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 09:13 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 11:18 AM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 11:58 AM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 12:23 PM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 12:44 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 PM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM
MMario 02 Mar 09 - 04:31 PM
MMario 02 Mar 09 - 04:33 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:38 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:39 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:41 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 04:53 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:20 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 05:23 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 05:25 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:55 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 06:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 09:06 PM

Well at least he didn't say

SPATULA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 09:49 PM

I have just a modicum of spatulas. Spatulate ones, no less, that permit me to spatulate whenever I so chose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM

Ya know, if you display this thread in descending order, but read it as if it were in ascending order, it makes very little difference as far as overall comprehensibility is concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 10:27 PM

What is this "comprehensibility" of which you speak? Is it edible or, like me, simply something exquisite to look at?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:28 AM

Whew! Just spent 24+ hours in the midst of a trio of 15 year-old boys who were supposed to go to an airsoft game that got rained-out. So of course they spent a good part of the day between rain showers out in the yard shooting at assorted targets fetched from the recycle bin until my nieghbor, who I have not laid eyes on in the 7 months I have lived here came over to express concern that her dogs might catch a stray plactic BB. While she was at it, she introduced herself.

Legitimate concern, though I was watching the boys and they were being careful.

While she was at it, she also asked if the dogs caused me any problems.

With a big, friendly grin to match her own, I told her how extremely annoying it is to live next door to a large barking dog who is bored and tethered outside 24-7, a small Jack Russell that is turned outside to run loose every night and will come and stand about 6 feet in front of me and bark non-stop if I try to sit out in my front yard at night, and a black cat that thinks I have bird feeders up for it's dining pleasure and that I finally got my porch furniture set up so that he would have somewhere soft to sleep at night where he can leave his fur and flea nits.

We both allowed as it was nice to finally meet, she headed back across the property to her house, and I went back to fixing grilled cheese sandwiches for the kids.

I need a drink!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:35 AM

So, blame it on the kids and the neighbor that I felt entitled to indulge myself and went downtown and purchased a painting I can't afford but have been visiting regularly at a local artists co-op gallery.

Sit down here, MOM, and feast your eyes on it. I'll fetch us both a glass of wine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:52 AM

Man, that is beauty incarnate!!!~

And yes, Rapaire, comprehension is Oedipal, like you. That's why you keep coming back and bothering Mom alla time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:20 PM

What is this "comprehensibility" of which you speak?

I'm sorry, but I misspoke. I meant "reprehensibility"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:39 PM

MOM!!! Amos and Bee-Dubya are picking on me because I'm better looking AND I'm going to Ireland on Thursday AND Amos called me Eddy Pal and I'm not Eddy and I don't even know Eddy Pal.

Make 'em stop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:43 PM

It's the weekend so it must be cold and windy. The warm weather only happens in the middle of the week when I have to stay inside to work.

MOM, make it stop doing that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:44 PM

Am I ever glad my own gang of boys are not such a quarrelsome bunch.

Amos and Rapaire, both of you go sit in the corner until you are ready to kiss and make up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:47 PM

I ain't kissing that!! Are you kiddin'??? He's plain YEWGLY!! An' he knows it, too!!!!


OW!!!! Leggo my ear, Mom!!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 04:11 PM

I'll shake his hand if he'll sterilize it first. I'm not gonna tell what he's been doing 'cause it's disgusting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 04:45 PM

An' he's gotta use a blowtorch, too. I don't want his cooties and sorts of Dread Diseases, sociable though they might be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:17 PM

You get plenty of cooties and germs where you keep your darned head half the time, any way and so there.!! OW!!! Leggo my ear, Mom!!!!!!~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM

Amos, do you kiss Mom with that potty mouth? Huh?

MOM!! Why'd you swat ME??? Amos was causing all the trouble!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:42 PM

Heck, Mom. I'm gonna be gone for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:43 PM

27972!! Palindrome!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 08:36 PM

Well, it's a good thing for you. The way Mom was steaming up, you'd have lost your whole head if you hadn't run out the door with it still on.

But Mom will miss you, for no good reason. She always does.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:31 AM

You can tell he's down to the short strokes on his vacation in Ireland in winter

He usually posts five times as often!!

We just returned from an evening performance of the Three Penny Opera, liberally translated and vivaciously and powerfully performed.

Wonderful to see it refreshed. The parallels of that period in German history, just as their post-war (WWI) depression started to draw to a close, to our own time, is a bit noteworthy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:36 AM

How long is he gone this time? I wonder if we should ask Shane to go check on his house while he's away. To be sure no low-life stealing skunk stops over and . . .

Oh, never mind. He'd have to chase himself off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 AM

Well. So this is how all of you spend your time? Have you no work? Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 08:55 AM

No, not really.

When I was quite young I had some shame, but we had to sell it to make ends meet. Shortly thereafter we got lucky and killed and ate the wolf at the door AND we were able to sell the wall we had our backs to. So everything worked out okay, except for my brother Hermann. Poor boy, he never did get over the shame and since he wouldn't let Mom sell his to help the family we had to put him in an orphanage. It was there that he learned everything he knew to become a successful war profiteer and slumlord by the time he was eight years old.

We rarely speak of him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 09:11 AM

He also became a senate page and eventually, a Congressman. He's now a lobbyist for Nuclear Waste Disposers and the American Air And Water Pollution Council; another of his clients is Regulations: Why?.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 09:13 AM

Moral: When your [picture is turned tot he wall, sell the wall out from under it?

Hmmm....

You are leaving Thursday, young Rap-scallion? My regards to Dublin town. where the maids are so pretty.   Don't drink any wooden pints, now.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:18 AM

Wednesday to Chicago, Thursday to Shannon. We'll fly back from Dublin.

Saturday we'll be in Cork and after that who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:41 AM

Well, this is paradoxical indeed--so many people have told him to put a Cork in it, and he goes and puts it into Cork instead!! Just shows to go-ya--ya never knows which way that cat is gwineter jump.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:58 AM

I don't have a cat, not at home or at work. The last cat in the yard was about four feet long in the body, tawny colored, long tail, and eating a neighbor's toy poodle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 12:14 PM

You'd better check your locks, just in case Shane heard about you going out of town. And maybe dig a moat; I suspect he can't swim.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 12:23 PM

Shame McBride is dead. Even if he weren't he wouldn't DARE come around here: they'd drink him under the table, laugh at what he called his "manhood", and then beat him up and throw him back into the train car that brung him.

Besides, he never got near enough water to bathe in and only rarely even let a drop touch is scabby lips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 12:44 PM

That's so...so...so vivid, Rapaire!! You have such a mastery of the critical details of degradation!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 PM

Well, I write what I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM

We've fourteen posts to go today
Heave away, and post away!
Until the twenty-eight of K,
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

My capting, well, I heard him say
Heave away and post away!
We'll make that twenty-eight today!
Oh, post away boys, post away!

My Sal to me she did confess
Heave away, and post away!
She could not say no to BS,
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

And then my Mary Ann did mutter
Heave away, and post away!
That BS turns her knees to butter,
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

So post away, and do not wait
Heave away, and post away!
We're bound to make that Twenty-Eight!
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

A BS poster gets no peace of mind
Heave away, and post away!
For after that comes twenty-nine!
Oh, post away, boys, post away!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM

Are we really that close?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM

I guess we are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:31 PM

Eleven to go @ your post, by my count, and ten with this one.

Time to count DOWN!

yeah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:33 PM

BTW - did I mention my knitting "fan club" is over 2300 members?

(nine)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:38 PM

Hey Mom, It snowed! Unfortunately, not near enough to suit me. But they closed all the schools and my clinic anyway.

Wish I had called to hear the message saying the office was closed before I drove 30 miles to work this morning.

Wish there had been enough snow for a good sled ride.

Wish the pine trees would get their blooming finished with. (....finish with their blooming....)

Guess which tune to sing this to. (....to which to sing this.... for you pendants)

It's pine tree blooming time, my nose is running
I can feel the pollen burning in my eyes
I can tell it by the way I cough and sniffle
Well, it's pine tree blooming time in Caroline.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:39 PM

I have not earned


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM

the honor, and so I will not presume


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:41 PM

to....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:53 PM

Oh, hell. Go for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM

Alright, DON'T.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM

You've had your chance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:20 PM

I shall not be the one to greedily and with malice aforethought seize 28,000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:23 PM

MOM!!!!!

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:25 PM

Amos,

Please don't mad. It's Rapaire's fault.

He said I could.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:27 PM

Oh Gawd, the guilt is killing me....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:55 PM

I am the very model of very modern self-restraint
I've never grabbed a hundred or a thousand, never, no I ain't
I never charge at usury on the things that I have lent
And Mom calls me her favorite though Amos thinks that I am bent.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters bibliographical, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of very modern self-restraint.

I know our mythic history, King Khandu's and Sir Tweedledum's
I answer hard acrostics, I never curse the very dumb
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of old Bee-Dubya-Ell
In religion I can tell the heavenly stairs from the floors of Hell.

I can write an acquisitions list in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Ranganathan's uniform
In short, in matters bibliographical, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of very modern self-restraint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 06:01 PM

Rapaire,

Your verse makes clear you set me up!

May a leprechaun sprinkle the inside of your underwear with invisible bramble thorns.

So there!


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