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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 23 Jul 07 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 09:39 PM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 09:13 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 01:01 PM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM
Acme 23 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 11:31 AM
Acme 23 Jul 07 - 11:15 AM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 10:55 AM
MMario 23 Jul 07 - 09:52 AM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 09:27 AM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 12:37 AM
Acme 22 Jul 07 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 07 - 08:18 PM
Amos 22 Jul 07 - 08:08 PM
Acme 22 Jul 07 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 07 - 04:28 PM
Amos 22 Jul 07 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 22 Jul 07 - 10:12 AM
Acme 22 Jul 07 - 02:11 AM
Amos 22 Jul 07 - 12:39 AM
Amos 21 Jul 07 - 02:17 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jul 07 - 12:38 PM
Acme 21 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM
Amos 21 Jul 07 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 09:14 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Jul 07 - 08:42 PM
Amos 20 Jul 07 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 07:10 PM
Amos 20 Jul 07 - 06:50 PM
MMario 20 Jul 07 - 12:25 PM
Amos 20 Jul 07 - 12:23 PM
MMario 20 Jul 07 - 12:15 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM
Amos 20 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM
Amos 20 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM
MMario 20 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 19 Jul 07 - 10:26 PM
Amos 19 Jul 07 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 07 - 06:33 PM
Amos 19 Jul 07 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 07 - 03:31 PM
Amos 19 Jul 07 - 02:55 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jul 07 - 01:46 PM
MMario 19 Jul 07 - 01:40 PM
Acme 19 Jul 07 - 01:37 PM
Amos 19 Jul 07 - 11:14 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 10:31 PM

M'siur, it is vaireee obviouss. You air zee veree ésprit of le Idaho. Zee personification, zee veritable paradigm!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:39 PM

Well, that describes Idaho, but what about me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:13 PM

Hahahahahahahahahaha!! Rapaire, I am now more persuaded than ever that you are a secret Republican. Nothing else could explain your sanctimonious delusory state.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 01:01 PM

Oh, that's right, I did type CRP. And I meant it. Amos is going to be part of the Conservative Reserve Program.

Mom will get a check from the government every year for this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM

Forget it, Rapaire. My life, which is mine, is not up for being samed. Long ago a wise man told me I would never be the same again, and so far, I haven't. And I really like it that way. So go same someone else, okay? I never wanted to be a Communist Republican Patriot and decline the opportunity.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM

But you typed CRP. Commonly Radioactive People comes to mind. It wouldn't be Censoring Republican Puppets, not for Amos. That's my point. What class are you actually taking? What impact will it have on poor ol' Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:31 AM

No, that's exactly what I meant to say. I have a class in Common People Re-living (CPR) and Amos's Everyday Drudgery (AED). This will permit me to "same" his life -- it will never change, just one plodding footstep after another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:15 AM

I have CRP and AED instruction today, so I'll be able to same Amos's life again.

Rap, skip the lifesaving classes, take a typing class. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 10:55 AM

YEars ago, Mom, I built a patio from scratch -- what was originally a sunbleached rectangle of old concrete became an L-shaped surface of rich Italian tile covered by a beautifully done sun-cover, with slates, beams and posts in a rich cedar and redwood. Over the years the patio provided many happy hours with friends. But the cedar had begun to suffer slightly from the sun and rain and wind-oh. So last weekend I re-oiled the whole thing from end to end and now it looks cared for, rich, dark and with a sort of glow to it. Velly nice. With the new patio lights and the new turf it looks downright homey!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:52 AM

Dear MOM --

While I was in 1585...

my b-i-l broke his ankle - In Japan...

the "happy couple" due to marry in two weeks have dropped out of communication.

the cats are pissed off.

My sister is stuck on Cape Cod with no vehicle and no way home.

In ather words...SNAFU


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:34 AM

Dear Mom,

I have CRP and AED instruction today, so I'll be able to same Amos's life again.

Your fave rave,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:27 AM

Drunk, drunker, drunkest: the three stages of life. I live in the first, intoxicated by the beauty of the sunrise, the laughter of children at their games, the gentle lapping of waves upon the shore, the miracle of puppies and kittens, the majesty of the mountains, the indomitable human spirit, and the wisdom and goodness of our Leaders.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:37 AM

Rapaire, I would never maje such an assumption. I was talking about then.

Stilly, I'd ble glad to, but I carry serious roaming charges.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:48 PM

While those two were arguing I was being virtuous and I repotted some plants and rearranged others and moved around rocks and my soaker hoses and (alas) discovered a spot where there is some rot under my bay window. Probably splashing off of pots in all of the rain. Hence the rearrangement to avoid future splashing and soon the employment of a handyman to replace a board and some insulation before I seal and paint it. I could do it all myself, but it is bound to be hot and sticky and a cramped space--better to pay a guy to do it. Hmmm. I wonder . . . Amos has been doing a lot around his house lately . . . I wonder if he has any flights east and any layovers at DFW?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:18 PM

Why do you assume I'm sober now? Or ever, for that matter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:08 PM

Yes, but we were both drunk that night. I was in no condition to cleave to veracity, nor you to recognize it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 05:58 PM

Boys, boys, boys, take it out in the yard! There isn't enough room for flailing banjos in MOM's kitchen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 04:28 PM

Sir, do you question my word? I do not question yours -- when you explained about your career as a gunfighter, besting such notables as Johnny Ringo, Jack Slade, Wild Bill Hickox, Dave Mather, Henry McCarty, Clay Allison, Doc Holliday, and the rest, facing them down with a only a banjo on each hip -- I did not doubt any bit of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:52 AM

The rest may be history, indeed; but the part you wrote down, I am sure, is not.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:12 AM

I thought my past was dead and buried! Where did that picture of me come from?

Yes, it's me. Back in my college days, when I was so poor I had to eke out my tuition by working in...in...yes, I'll Tell All!

During my college days I was a professional wrestler. And that picture must be the only thing left to remind the public of "The Bashful Basher Booker" (I was also working in the college library). My job was to be defeated, and I was very, very good at it. And then one day one of my opponents bent one of my ears and I became angry.

In my anger I picked him up and threw him into the audience. Blind with rage, I next picked up the audience and threw it through the wall of seedy gymnasium where I was performing. Twenty-seven cops couldn't control me, and I fled through town, knocking down buildings and throwing cars at helicopters, until, wandering lonely through the bucolic countryside, I met a little girl who was picking flowers for her dolly. I was so taken by this exhibition of childish innocence that I helped her, and in her innocence she showed me that my actions had been impolite, even rude, and that I shouldn't have acted as I did. Instead of losing my temper I should have simply ripped my opponent's head off and thrown that to the crowd.

My anger spent, I entered a Zen monastery where for ten years I studied grains of sand.

And the rest, as they say, is history.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 02:11 AM

Gone out to dinner, of course!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:39 AM

Wow!! Of posts, a DEARTH, a PAUCITY, a LACK, a SHORTFALL, an INSUFFERABLE INSUFFICIENCY!! Where are the MOABITES??? Gone to war? Gone to Canada to seek health care?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 02:17 PM

Stilly! You been rifling Rapaire's drawers? Else how to 'splain you getting that photo from his 21st birthday party? Amazing!! I heard about that from some as was there, but Rapaire thought he'd burned all those bridges to his colorful past when he moved to Idaho and became a Republican... I think he was in synchronization with George the Younger from much further back than he even realized, one of those memetic linkage phenomena that joins organisms of similar species and DNA structure almost telepathically...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 12:38 PM

That form-fitting space suit looks a fair bit like the one the Greys outfitted Shane in...only Shane doesn't look quite that good in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM

I think this is one from his Flickr pages. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 11:29 AM

Geeze, Rapaire, drooling over bunny suits? Isn't that a bit, um, beneath you?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 10:44 PM

This, much beloved of science fiction artists in the past, may becoming fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 09:14 PM

Hermione Granger feels so fine,
Just like eighteen four oh nine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 08:42 PM

Standin' at the pearly gates!
Eighteen thousand, four-o-eight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 08:37 PM

Got no rhythm, cannot jump,
But he made the number bump!
Send Rapaire to White Guy heaven
Eighteen thousand, four and seven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 07:10 PM

See Ginny Weasley doing kicks!
'Cuz now we're eighteen four hundred six.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 06:50 PM

Eighteen four and bloody five!
Voldemort is still alive!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 12:25 PM

Kick Delores out the door
ON to Eighteen four oh four!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 12:23 PM

Young Hermione's the girl for me!
I'll give her eighteen four and three!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 12:15 PM

Weasley's treats may turn you blue
we're one eight four, naught and TWO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM

Moldy Voldy, he's the one!
And now we're eighteen thousand one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM

While this one throws it open wide!
We're eighteen-thousand, four!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM

At eighteen three and ninety nine
This post stands at the door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM

Great Synopsis!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 09:20 AM

Good morning, mother dear! How are you this day? Did you remember that the last Harry Potter book comes out tomorrow? Yes, it's called "Harry Potter and the Teenage Angst." We got our delivery at the Library yesterday and I can give you some hints. For example, Harry hits on Hermione and is refused, he hits on Ginny and is refused, he hits on Cho Chang and is refused, but he eventually finds that 'Neville is willing' and he refuses. There's the whole thing about Professor McGonigle's baby and how Snape denies being the father, and of course that great line from Darth Vader Lord Voldemort when he says, "Luke Harry, I am your father!" and Harry falls and is rescued by Ron and Hermione and Hagrid, who are riding Ron's quidditch broom, only Moldy Voldy has cut off Harry's hand and...well Mom, you'll just have to read the book yourself.

And the Ewoks, Mom. And Jar-Jar Binks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 10:26 PM

We have decided not to use the Imperial First Person anymore, as it puts Us out of touch with the common folk. The Imperial First Person -- singular, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 07:40 PM

Right. Over here, we call people like that Republicans. Unfortunately the notion of Republic has sort of slipped out of their conceptual framework. Also, apparently another similarity, they tend toward the delusory, and especially the grandiosity variant.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 06:33 PM

...I'm rubber and you're glue...

Rubber cement? We honestly have no idea about the meaning of that. As for being a secret Republican, you are mistaken. We are an Absolute Monarchist, as long as We are on top.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:51 PM

Rapaire, the more I listen to you, the more I am convinced you are a secret Republican. I point a finger at pot-growers, and you say that means I must be one. Well, I'm rubber and you're glue, pal. So there. And also neener neener.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:31 PM

Yeah, sure. NOW da trut comes out. Ol' Amos got hisself a little backyard full of happy smoke.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 02:55 PM

There is no arguing you wot well the way of the rogue, of the layabout, of the ne'er-do-well, and of the cutpurse, good Hawk. What I meant was in regard to my industrious accomplishment with respect to track-mounted floodlights, which to one in a hazy frame of mind might have seemed identical to underground gro-lights, but are not.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 01:46 PM

Amos, wot this: I do know whereof I speak, verily and forsooth. My own town is infested with many varlets, layabouts, rogues, and cutpurses of the lowest kind, many of whom while away their idle and misbegotten hours in the cultivation of marijuana, whence they derive the ill-gotten gains which enable them to devour pizza and engage in riotous frolics after curfew, causing much distress to the law-abiding citizenry, but providing the constabulary with gainful employment. This is due to the fact that our monarch has seen fit to declare a plant illegal(!)...an extremely foolish thing to do...but monarchs have a way of imagining that they can control even Nature herself, and they must do these sorts of absurd things in order to feel omnipotent upon the Earth.

So it goes in the provinces...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 01:40 PM

gee - the only thing my dentist ever gave me was a toothbrush!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 01:37 PM

Hey, MOM! The dentist just gave my 15-year-old son a video game console (the big kind they have in bars). I told him it was okay. I may be nuts, but to see the sheer joy on this kid's face--it's difficult to achieve that in a teenager! They moved it to the back of the office because they were going to trade it in for another, but my son loves this game (even asked if I'd wait longer in the waiting area so he could play it a while. This is how the dentist keeps kids distracted and/or happy to come to the office). He said we've been going there so long he'll give it to him. (Trade in would have been about $50). Thing must weigh 100 pounds or more. We'll pick it up later this afternoon. I know where it can go in his bedroom, and I bet if I push hard enough, he'll even work on cleaning it up. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 11:14 AM

Oh, well spied, good Bruce.


A


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