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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 13 Jun 07 - 11:21 AM
MMario 13 Jun 07 - 11:09 AM
Amos 13 Jun 07 - 10:54 AM
Acme 13 Jun 07 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 13 Jun 07 - 09:20 AM
Acme 13 Jun 07 - 12:25 AM
Amos 12 Jun 07 - 11:51 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM
MMario 12 Jun 07 - 04:16 PM
Acme 12 Jun 07 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 07 - 04:11 PM
MMario 12 Jun 07 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 07 - 03:58 PM
MMario 12 Jun 07 - 03:54 PM
Amos 12 Jun 07 - 03:52 PM
Acme 12 Jun 07 - 03:31 PM
MMario 12 Jun 07 - 11:34 AM
Acme 12 Jun 07 - 11:28 AM
Amos 12 Jun 07 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 12 Jun 07 - 09:52 AM
MMario 12 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM
Acme 12 Jun 07 - 12:17 AM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 07 - 02:59 PM
Amos 11 Jun 07 - 02:45 PM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 07 - 12:09 PM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 11:58 AM
Amos 11 Jun 07 - 11:19 AM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 11 Jun 07 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 11:15 PM
Amos 10 Jun 07 - 08:25 PM
Acme 10 Jun 07 - 03:59 PM
Acme 10 Jun 07 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:06 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Jun 07 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 10:47 AM
Acme 10 Jun 07 - 02:40 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 10:40 PM
Amos 09 Jun 07 - 09:28 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 05:35 PM
Acme 09 Jun 07 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 02:42 PM
Amos 09 Jun 07 - 01:18 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:21 AM

Well, it's amazing what you can hide in a budget if you know how to pull the strings. A little investigation has revealed that is no ordinary sedan chair -- not for our Rapaire, no sirreee. Turns out, under "Office Supplies and Equipment", he managed to finance a Hummer SUV chair!! Its kinda like a sedan chair only wider, twice as many carriers, and they wear baseball cleats. Lots of chrome and leather, built in map system and iPod, all the bells.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:09 AM

I've heard he also likes to be carried around the stacks in one of those sedan chairs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:54 AM

He hides them under incidentals in the budget, but the truth is that the motive power for those fans that cool the Library is supplied by indentured Nubians, some of them as tall as the stacks behind which they are hidden.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:26 AM

Ceiling fans with remotes? I thought libraries up there had those big ostrich feather fan things and your lowest paid staff have to waft them around the room to keep air moving?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 09:20 AM

Well, he wanted to shred all the budget documents, but I needed them so he went through about 50 sheets of blank paper instead.

He's also intrigued by the ceiling fans. He'll grab a remote and play with them for literally minutes at a time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:25 AM

Then you could have grown up to be David Letterman.

Let's hope this goes through this time. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:51 PM

Man, I wish someone had given me a shredder to run when I was two....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM

Could be...he also ate my french fries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:16 PM

Seems like Donavan may have been haning out with the Legion boys too much - since he posted a four letter word.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:15 PM

If there was no exclamation point, no scream, and no blood, I guess it's okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:11 PM

This Donovan was two years old and helping to run my shredder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:01 PM

a word or so from Donavan

I love my shirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:58 PM

Well, while some of the staff went out to buy a present for a Board member who is leaving, we rearranged the office. And now, a word or so from Donovan:


fcxs


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:54 PM

You obviously spend the weekend far differently then I do!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:52 PM

By Tuesday mid-day the shock of re-entry, the forlorn sense of deprivation and loss as one awakes to the cold reality that the weekend is gone and was spent in endless pursuit of others' goals, has begun to fade and the hope of making some distinct, if small, difference in the world again asserts its weaselly nose under the tent flap.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:31 PM

Why, MMario. . . that's. . . that's. . . Fantastic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:34 AM

Try to remember that weed you dismembered
when Round up wouldn't turn it yellow
Try to remember, at least till September
That you are a kind, and gentle, fellow.
Try to remeber
for you *should* remember
The mallow
mallow
mallow
mallow
mallow
mallow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:28 AM

Aw, shucks. Globe mallow is a favorite of mine. And marsh mallow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:52 AM

I am sure the mallows of the world -- the fen mallows, the bog mallows, the hill mallows, the valley mallows, the river mallows, and the marsh mallows -- will now see you as the Great Anti-Mallow and will pass the word to hinder you at every opportunity. You will never again be accepted as a mallow fellow. Not even yallow mallows will talk to you, cuz they're such mellow mallows. Best to let the subject lie fallow, fellow, for mallows will follow and fill your fate with failure and falling.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 09:52 AM

A stop at a nursery last evening elicited the answer: what I am try to eradicate is mallow. The nursery has a spray that will kill it quite dead -- and also the surrounding flowers, grass, shrubs, and vegetables.

Shucks, I've got some extended release Round-up that'll do that AND make the ground fallow for three months thereafter. (I use it on the golf course fence line and on the stuff that comes up in the cracks in the driveway. You can also use it to write stuff on your neighbor's lawn if you don't like your neighbor, but I wouldn't know about things like that.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM

Treacle trickle?

The pink thingies do sound as if they might be one of the wild geraniums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:17 AM

I think MOM got stuck in a little of BWLs treacle trickle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 09:43 PM

Mom, what are you doing, rolling around laughing down here in the cellar with all of the gardening implements?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 02:59 PM

Amos, if you'll send me your email address I'll forward to you all of the email I receive about making your minute pink trowel thingy larger, thicker, last longer, and in general endow you with a better life, approved loans, and cheap pharmaceuticals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 02:45 PM

So I suppose making wise cracks about someone's minute pink trowel thingy would be out of the question?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 01:05 PM

Oh, good. Maybe it will compete with and eradicate the Virginia creeper I think I finally dislodged from over and around my office window. What that stuff does to wood and mortar. . . oy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 12:09 PM

'Sokay. I got 'em out of the garbage and have sent them to SRS because I know she can use the money. No, don't bother to thank me because I do it because I like doing good for others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:58 AM

Pronounced "my-NUTE" as in "my-NUTE waltz" by Chopin and "my-NUTE" as in my paycheck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:19 AM

I don't think he's going to fall for becomeing a "Pink Minute Man", ready and willing to grab his trowel and turn out at any hour to defend the world against the overbearing turf-landers..."Muskets? Oh, no, silly, you must be thinking of the OTHER Minute People. We're the geranium minute people. We use garden tools..."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 10:04 AM

No, Amos, not all of what Rapaire described. Just your simple opportunist.

Rapaire, I do believe that is the rare endangered protected cancer-curing "Minute Pink" geranium. The root has many told and dreamed-of properties, and there is a bounty of $50,000 an ounce on the plant.

I sure hope you can catch the garbage truck this morning. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 09:54 AM

Refresh, cher madre.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 11:15 PM

Ah, you youngsters are just jealous of my talents.

I spent the day pulling weeds and planting flowers, making the planet a little more beautiful. English daisies, penstemon, black-eyed susans, shasta daisies, salvia, Icelandic poppies, sweet William -- yes, I have done my part to bring beauty.

Does anyone know what sort of weed produces leaves that look like small geranium leaves, has tiny pink flowers, and a root that can be 18" deep? I always like to know the name of what I'm killing.

And I took a dead vole out of the yard today after putting out poison yestereve. And I'll keep poisoning the little b*st*rds, because the city won't let me shoot 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 08:25 PM

Stilly:

Arte you thereby admitting those traits in yourself? Cunning, deviousness, and so on? Especially as Rapaire defines them?

He's an Olympian in such things, so be careful.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 03:59 PM

Busy busy weekend, muggy as what MMario describes, so one must pace oneself. Come indoors to do a task for a while in order to cool down, and have the sprinkler head set up for a cool down out back.

Been calling old friends to torque up the surprise element of next weekend's birthday party. Fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 03:56 PM

I will, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:33 PM

But I'm a swell guy and so I won't do that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:32 PM

I'd snatch seventeen-eighty-oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM

Cunning and devious,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM

Were I mean and naughty


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:06 PM

72 F, cloudy, 40% humidity here right now. Perfect weather for going out in the yard and working...or taking a nap first. Decision, decisions....

LH, compared to some things my relatives both near and far have done hinging the front of the barn was fairly mild. Unusual, true, but mild. After all, he could have built the thing the cellar. And his horse wasn't named "Jonah" on a whim.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 12:03 PM

Rap - we would never have guessed!

Beautiful Bride, handsome groom; and best of all, my brother cried as he walked his daughter down the aisle, and again at the father daughter dance.

still hot and humid - we're going to a botanical garden this afternoon and flying out tonight


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 10:47 AM

My grandfather once built a boat in the second floor of his garage/barn. It was too big to get down the steps, so he hinged the triangular end of the structure and let it down on the beam he used to use to bring up bales of hay. Then he locked the new doors down just in case he ever built another boat up there.

Yes, this is a true story. Sometimes people in my family do unusual things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:40 AM

Build a dog trot or dog run through the middle of the house, open to the outside on both ends. Have screen doors into both halves of the house. It's what they used to do down here in Tejas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:49 PM

Amos, I don't HAVE any closets that back onto an outside wall. Not a single one. I do have a couple of bathrooms that do -- would one of them work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:40 PM

A true story. My wife told me this, so it must be true and besides, you can come look for yourself.

We were having the downstairs bathroom finished up so that it could be used in conjunction with the basement bedroom. When the remodelers lifted the suspended ceiling tiles they found a T-junction where the exhaust hose from the (former) dryer and the bathroom exhaust fan met the main exhaust duct (yes, yes, I know -- but this was a homemade job). Pat told them to just take it all out and the bathroom could exhaust into the hall when the door was opened (we don't use those washer and dryer connections). When they followed the main duct they found that a hole had been very neatly cut in the wall sheathing to accomodate it -- only behind the wall sheathing was a brick wall. The duct ended there, flat against the bricks.

The ductwork was removed and one of these days I'll close up the hole in the (kitchen) wall where the dryer vent was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 09:28 PM

Rap[aire:

First cut a large hole, circular-like, or as near as is easy for you to do, in the upper part of the house. If you can't do it in the roof, try the back wall of a closet on the upstairs outer wall of the house. Then insert fan into hole, secure with duct tape and ten-penny nails, run extension cord to nearest outlet, and Bob's your stepfather-in-law-once-removed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 05:35 PM

I really, really would like a whole-house fan like we had in Indiana, but we can't figure out how to work it into the existing house structure. But it sure was nice!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 03:55 PM

And they probably don't have a Hilton in Paris, Texas.

MMario, I hope that's a hotel room wherer you've adjusted the thermostat. If someone tried that here at the house I'd have to get a second mortgage to pay the electric bill.

This is the summer for ceiling fans, baby powder, cross-breezes and lots of iced tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 02:42 PM

When I was in Paris I never stayed at the Hilton. I stayed in some cheap little dive that offered such amenities as indoor plumbing and electricity. Actually, I don't usually stay at a Hilton in Paris, France or Paris, Missouri or anywhere else because I think they cost too much for what you get, unless it's a conference hotel or something. Ptui on Hiltons, even on their Head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 01:18 PM

You would have to haul in the trash of the outside world, eh, Leedle Hack?

Ptui on Paris Hilton. I hpe someone ... no, I take it back. But not the ptui part. It comes straight from the ptuitary gland.


A


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