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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Donuel 17 Jul 17 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 17 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 16 Jul 17 - 08:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Jul 17 - 11:49 AM
Amos 16 Jul 17 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 15 Jul 17 - 09:58 PM
JennyO 15 Jul 17 - 03:01 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 17 - 09:41 PM
Vashta Nerada 14 Jul 17 - 05:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jul 17 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 17 - 08:56 AM
JennyO 14 Jul 17 - 01:02 AM
Rapparee 13 Jul 17 - 09:13 PM
gnu 13 Jul 17 - 04:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jul 17 - 02:27 PM
Amos 13 Jul 17 - 12:16 AM
Acme 12 Jul 17 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 17 - 09:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jul 17 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 17 - 09:10 PM
Donuel 11 Jul 17 - 04:12 PM
Amos 11 Jul 17 - 04:06 PM
Donuel 11 Jul 17 - 12:39 PM
Donuel 11 Jul 17 - 11:38 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 17 - 10:14 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 17 - 09:36 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 17 - 08:18 PM
Acme 10 Jul 17 - 04:56 PM
Donuel 10 Jul 17 - 02:36 PM
keberoxu 10 Jul 17 - 12:13 PM
Donuel 10 Jul 17 - 11:13 AM
Donuel 10 Jul 17 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 17 - 09:42 AM
Donuel 10 Jul 17 - 09:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jul 17 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 17 - 10:24 PM
Acme 09 Jul 17 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 17 - 09:11 PM
Donuel 09 Jul 17 - 12:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jul 17 - 12:17 PM
Acme 09 Jul 17 - 10:55 AM
Donuel 08 Jul 17 - 11:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 17 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 17 - 10:34 PM
Donuel 08 Jul 17 - 08:03 PM
Acme 08 Jul 17 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 17 - 09:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 17 - 08:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 17 - 12:58 PM
Donuel 07 Jul 17 - 11:56 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 01:34 PM

Poor Wendell

Hey Rap you must have been a Siri for lots of customers.

Will you recall some of the memorable questions people may have asked you at work like; Is suicide in the self help section ? or, where are the national secrets kept, you know stuff more detailed than Julian and Ethel's napkin, or "is the bible really covered in God's fingerprints?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 09:32 AM

Alas, poor Amos! I knew him, gnu: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips to which I've list I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?


       --William Shaxspere, Ye Tragical History of Hamnet, Prince of Danegeld. (London and Dickensheet Junction, Minorprofits Press: 1588.) ll. 1,9457-20,391.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 17 - 08:31 PM

AI at work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jul 17 - 11:49 AM

Hi Mom!

Stephen Hawking has been expressing concerns about potential negative, even disastrous, effects of the use of artificial intelligence. Well, Dr. Hawking, you have nothing to worry about as long as nobody teaches an AI how to sing "Bicycle Built for Two". Anything else, right up to giving AIs the launch codes for nuclear missiles, is okay. Just don't teach them that song! It's a sure pathway to disaster!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jul 17 - 10:45 AM

Under-priveleged childhood, huh? We had to fly places under our own power!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 17 - 09:58 PM

"Grass strip". The grass trip upon which planes land here is 47mm wide and 23mm long. It's so big because during WW2 what's now the airport was used as a training base for bomber pilots. Some of their bombs still lay amongst the beautiful peaks and sagebrush, waiting for a wandering wanderer to come whistling "The Happy Wanderer" just prior to the bomb finally detonating. Sometimes they don't even wait but decide that 72 years or more is long enough to wait. Fortunately these 227kg (and more) are way, way, up in hills or way, way, out in the desert on the grounds of the Idaho National Laboratory, or on the Ft. Hall Indian Reservation (just one has ever been found and that was deactivated in short order).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Jul 17 - 03:01 PM

You have grass strip? Bloody luxury! When I were a girl, all we 'ad were two little pieces of stone and when a plane wanted to land, we 'ad to run alongside with the pieces, ready to put on the ground where we wanted the wheels to go. This took a lot of calculation and a certain amount of loss of life and limb if we wanted to get it right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 17 - 09:41 PM

That was only 12 hours driving time, or 763 miles, away. I think it was reported that some of the slime coated our airport's runways. Well, runway. Well, grass strip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 14 Jul 17 - 05:06 PM

Naw, she didn't jump, she slipped. I think Rap was playing with the hagfish truck and created a gawdawful mess, and there she went, ass-over-applecart, right off the page.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jul 17 - 02:06 PM

No, Mom did not fall off the page. She jumped.

Mom has these self-destructive fits occasionally, usually when someone forgets to check her liquor supply to make sure she's well-stocked with good booze. When she runs out of the good stuff and starts hitting the rotgut, things can go south pretty quickly. Sometimes she runs out entirely and pays a visit to Clem Earl Bowden's still for some of that 'shine he runs through the radiator from a '56 Studebaker. After a big jelly jar of that stuff, Mom's apt to do something really crazy, like try to leave the MOAB altogether and jump over to some political thread nobody outside the UK could possibly give a shit about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 17 - 08:56 AM

Couldn't have. We had her chained to the wall, inside a strong cage that is kept inside a steel box with four meter thick walls, inside a windowless stone dungeon a kilometer underground that is surrounded by guard towers and web of tanglefoot, pit traps, roving guard dogs, and electronic surveillance stuff, and above ground it's ever more secure. While I'm not saying that she couldn't get out, it would be very difficult even for her. She'd need quantum entanglements and a ship in orbit around Trappist-1F with a QE Mark LVII spin filter, and a power source equal to or greater than that of a supernova. Nope, escape isn't likely. I'd give her only a 50-50 chance of pulling it off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Jul 17 - 01:02 AM

Mom fell off the page today! Unthinkable! I feel so guilty! I know I'm only one of your part-time children, mom, but I promise I'll look after you better in future. Here is some chocolate, with a little bit of something else hidden in there to make you feel better!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 17 - 09:13 PM

Amos, if it's good enough for T. S. Eliot it's good enough for me.

Gimme that ol' time poetry
Gimme that ol' time poetry
Gimme that ol' time poetry
It's good enough for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jul 17 - 04:01 PM

So, you know anybody that got a moose licence this year? If so, tell them not to use Hornady ammo in a semi. Especially a semi REM 30.06. You be jammin' mon.

16C at 1 PM today. I am lovin' it!

Been beatin' on haters all week on FB over Omar Khadr and NAFTA (softwood lumber) and such. My fingers are gettin' tired. Had to leave a number of groups. Left them with this post...

My mother is 90. She has seen all this before and she is very upset. She watched WW2 unfold and she is upset at what is going on now. She saw Korea unfold and she was upset. She saw Vietnam unfold and she was upset. She saw Palestine unfold and she was upset. She saw Iraq unfold and she was upset. She saw Afghanistan unfold and she was upset. She saw Bosnia/Hercegovina unfold and she was upset. She saw Sudan unfold and she was upset. She saw Egypt unfold and she was upset. She saw Libya unfold and she was upset. She saw Syria unfold and she is upset.
All of you bloodthirsty, uninformed, pitchfork armed twits had better take note of what is really going on. Or history will bite you in the ass you mindless sheep.

And this link in that post.

Peace out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jul 17 - 02:27 PM

In retrospect, I should have said "East" (uppercase) in my poem instead of "east" (lower case). Uppercase East is a generalized geographical region, not a direction. The direction in which one faces in order to face toward The East depends on one's location on the globe. From Seattle, East is west. From Siberia, East is south. From Korea, East is just stay where you are and look down at your toes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 17 - 12:16 AM

Moi with a little help from Dante Alighieri:

Canto III


Per me si va ne la città dolente,
per me si va ne l'etterno dolore,
per me si va tra la perduta gente.


Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme bete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 17 - 09:31 PM

Well, fir, okay, there are a lot of them around, but most likely Douglas fir, which isn't a true fir. It's name is Pseudosuga for a reason.

I read the Code of Hammurabi as a freshman in college. So you know how much of it I recall. Only the title. But I have certainly heard of it!

Guess what, MOM! My 82-year-old friend Bette texted to ask if she can spend a few days at my house. I will pick her up at the airport tomorrow and though I'm not sure if we're expected for dinner at a grandson's house, we'll head back here for the night. And then my ex and I will take turns ferrying her around to various meals, museums, etc. Don't you just love having friends who know they can ask at a moment's notice and drop in for a visit? (I do, really!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 17 - 09:11 PM

But if you take the easiest see
From, say, Seattle (that's probably best),
You'll be up a fir tree
Looking West.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jul 17 - 12:48 PM

To peer beyond the fog of Mom
You must climb high up a coconut palm
And face the East (toward Vietnam)
And meditate 'til you are calm
The you will know Mom is da bomb


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 09:10 PM

Within the silent city they go,
Each with his or her own troubled soul.
Never touching, never talking,
Endlessly silent, endlessly walking.

Per me si va ne la città dolente,
per me si va ne l'etterno dolore,
per me si va tra la perduta gente.


Like the barrators in the Fourth Ditch,
Circling like those sinners, knowing their niche.
Those who sold their souls, who bent the laws,
And never once did it give them pause.

         --Me, 2017


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 04:12 PM

The audience erupts
HOO RAW ! woof woof woof



that's what I thought happened. usually my insight can not peer through the fog of MOM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 04:06 PM

Alas, I have been overlong away
And let our addle-pated mater stray
Out of the meadows, filled with sage
Into the darkling woods of rage
Whence she has fallen off the page.

What in my folly led me to
Such unseemly wandering to do?
To yearn for life upon some other stage
Beyond the proper realm of men of age
And let our sainted Mom fall off the page.

It was not age nor plague nor pizen
But weariness with plagiarizin'
That led me to unseemly rage,
Mainly because of Booqueman sage
I let our Mom fall off the page!

Maire Tombay-Folle
Fallen Mothers and Raised Idols
Goofus Press, Gravitas Editions
Madré Caido, Spain, 1972


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 12:39 PM

Now that looks like plagiarism to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 11:38 AM

When Ed Koch the Mayor of New York City who awarded the mob to renovate the Central Park ice rink failed after 6 years to finish the projects I hired the King of Trump construction, and Bel, the lord of Heaven and earth, who decreed the land to be assigned to Marduk Inc and finished the project ahead of schedule. I made it great on earth, and founded an everlasting kingdom of Real Estate in Manhattan whose foundations are laid so solidly as those of heaven and earth; then Bel Construction called by name me, Donald J Trump, the exalted prince, who feared no loans, to bring about the rule of righteousness in the land, to destroy the wicked tenants and the evil-doers; so that the strong should not harm the weak; so that I should rule over the black people like Shamash, and enlighten the land, to further the well-being of my fortune.


I managed the temple of Taj Mahal; the grave of the enemy, whose help brought about the victory; who increased the power of Cutthroats; made all glorious in Atlantic City and the Jersey Mob who gored the enemy; The Attorney General of New Jersey, The Donald and Trump. I Donald Trump who recognizes the alt right, who rules by my law; who gave back to the city of New York my name atop Hotels who let the name remain in Trump City and now Washington DC.      
I Donald Trump who never humbles himself before the great gods; successor of Bankruptcy is the hugest one of all.

I am the mighty son of Queens and the royal scum of Eternity; the mighty monarch, the sun of the East River, whose rays shed light over the land of Broads of the Universe obeyed by the four quarters of organized crime Beloved of Russia am I President Donald Trump


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 10:14 AM

The preamble of the Code of Hammurabi (I doubt that you've seen it before):

When Anu the Sublime, King of the Anunaki, and Bel, the lord of Heaven and earth, who decreed the fate of the land, assigned to Marduk, the over-ruling son of Ea, God of righteousness, dominion over earthly man, and made him great among the Igigi, they called Babylon by his illustrious name, made it great on earth, and founded an everlasting kingdom in it, whose foundations are laid so solidly as those of heaven and earth; then Anu and Bel called by name me, Hammurabi, the exalted prince, who feared God, to bring about the rule of righteousness in the land, to destroy the wicked and the evil-doers; so that the strong should not harm the weak; so that I should rule over the black-headed people like Shamash, and enlighten the land, to further the well-being of mankind.

Hammurabi, the prince, called of Bel am I, making riches and increase, enriching Nippur and Dur-ilu beyond compare, sublime patron of E-kur; who reestablished Eridu and purified the worship of E-apsu; who conquered the four quarters of the world, made great the name of Babylon, rejoiced the heart of Marduk, his lord who daily pays his devotions in Saggil; the royal scion whom Sin made; who enriched Ur; the humble, the reverent, who brings wealth to Gish-shir-gal; the white king, heard of Shamash, the mighty, who again laid the foundations of Sippara; who clothed the gravestones of Malkat with green; who made E-babbar great, which is like the heavens, the warrior who guarded Larsa and renewed E-babbar, with Shamash as his helper; the lord who granted new life to Uruk, who brought plenteous water to its inhabitants, raised the head of E-anna, and perfected the beauty of Anu and Nana; shield of the land, who reunited the scattered inhabitants of Isin; who richly endowed E-gal-mach; the protecting king of the city, brother of the god Zamama; who firmly founded the farms of Kish, crowned E-me-te-ursag with glory, redoubled the great holy treasures of Nana, managed the temple of Harsag-kalama; the grave of the enemy, whose help brought about the victory; who increased the power of Cuthah; made all glorious in E-shidlam, the black steer, who gored the enemy; beloved of the god Nebo, who rejoiced the inhabitants of Borsippa, the Sublime; who is indefatigable for E-zida; the divine king of the city; the White, Wise; who broadened the fields of Dilbat, who heaped up the harvests for Urash; the Mighty, the lord to whom come scepter and crown, with which he clothes himself; the Elect of Ma-ma; who fixed the temple bounds of Kesh, who made rich the holy feasts of Nin-tu; the provident, solicitous, who provided food and drink for Lagash and Girsu, who provided large sacrificial offerings for the temple of Ningirsu; who captured the enemy, the Elect of the oracle who fulfilled the prediction of Hallab, who rejoiced the heart of Anunit; the pure prince, whose prayer is accepted by Adad; who satisfied the heart of Adad, the warrior, in Karkar, who restored the vessels for worship in E-ud-gal-gal; the king who granted life to the city of Adab; the guide of E-mach; the princely king of the city, the irresistible warrior, who granted life to the inhabitants of Mashkanshabri, and brought abundance to the temple of Shidlam; the White, Potent, who penetrated the secret cave of the bandits, saved the inhabitants of Malka from misfortune, and fixed their home fast in wealth; who established pure sacrificial gifts for Ea and Dam-gal-nun-na, who made his kingdom everlastingly great; the princely king of the city, who subjected the districts on the Ud-kib-nun-na Canal to the sway of Dagon, his Creator; who spared the inhabitants of Mera and Tutul; the sublime prince, who makes the face of Ninni shine; who presents holy meals to the divinity of Nin-a-zu, who cared for its inhabitants in their need, provided a portion for them in Babylon in peace; the shepherd of the oppressed and of the slaves; whose deeds find favor before Anunit, who provided for Anunit in the temple of Dumash in the suburb of Agade; who recognizes the right, who rules by law; who gave back to the city of Ashur its protecting god; who let the name of Ishtar of Nineveh remain in E-mish-mish; the Sublime, who humbles himself before the great gods; successor of Sumula-il; the mighty son of Sin-muballit; the royal scion of Eternity; the mighty monarch, the sun of Babylon, whose rays shed light over the land of Sumer and Akkad; the king, obeyed by the four quarters of the world; Beloved of Ninni, am I.


Kinda conceited was he.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 09:36 AM

Remember, it was only 1,100 years ago that the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle reported that "This year rode the army, after Easter, out of Northampton and Leicester; and having broken the truce they slew many men at Hookerton and thereabout. Then, very soon after this, as the others came home, they found other troops that were riding out against Leighton. But the inhabitants were aware of it; and having fought with them they put them into full flight; and arrested all that they had taken, and also of their horses and of their weapons a good deal."

I tell you this so that you are aware of it and all that proceeded from it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 08:18 PM

Damn Straight! I'm retired. You want I should do all your work for you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 04:56 PM

Look it up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 02:36 PM

In this mortal life there is mostly tedium and envy!

The prose intent is incontinent. It is a collection of poor metaphors. Its devoid of charm, but I see no harm.

...somebody turn off that klaxon alarm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 12:13 PM

Delighted, Rapparee, to see Robin Flower's elegant translation of Pangur Bán posted here, many thanks.

Samuel Barber, in his Hermit Songs cycle from the marginalia of monastery manuscripts, set to music a prose approach to Pangur Bán.
The translator is W. H. Auden.

Pangur, white Pangur,
How happy we are, alone together,
Scholar and cat.

Each has his own work to do daily;
For you, it is hunting;
For me, study.

Your shining eye watches the wall;
My feeble eye is fixed on a book.

You rejoice when your claws entrap a mouse;
I rejoice when my mind fathoms a problem.

Pleased with his own art,
Neither hinders the other.
Thus we live ever, without tedium and envy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 11:13 AM

I always avoid rhyming every two lines like a klaxon bell blasting a rhythm for Roman galley oarsmen. Its up to a singer or speaker to enhance the intent beyond matching sounds and rhythm.

For example in the latest poem, the word Gon-di has a slight pause before gon and 'di' and a much smaller pause before the next line.

One can also rhyme with concepts beyond similar sounds like genre or category. Have you ever tried rhyming in different senses other than sound? In this way you can telegraph the unsaid as if the idea comes from inside a readers head. I don't know the word for using expectation instead but works if you come from mountain folk or kings and are in- a hurry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 10:19 AM

The following 12 photos of her are less modest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 09:42 AM

Oh My God! You can see their knees! Hussies! Harlots! They probably work in Cataloging (those people don't get out much)! Notice how this librarian modestly covers her knees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 09:31 AM

above the knee? tsk tsk... and Leah knows it.



`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

In Egypt's ancient Library
a scribe late at night described
"a mouse saw a cat but didn't hide
It tapped the cat, it was scary

The cat ate the entire mouse
What spell did the cat cast so well?"
It was the mouse brain truth to tell
Toxoplasmosis is in your house

The parasite controls all mice
for cats to eat them to live on
toxo grows in cats then is gondi.
Toxo controls brains its not nice

Cats don't have owners they have staff.
Cat lovers may have toxo brains
and do not bother to complain
It could be you so do not laugh

Donuel 9:31 AM Monday


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 10:37 PM

Leaked photo from this year's Research Librarian Swimsuit Competition.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 10:24 PM

There are quite a few librarians I don't want to see in a swimsuit. On the other hand....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 10:00 PM

Swimsuit competition? Swimsuit competition? Librarians don't wear no stinking swimsuits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 09:11 PM

I and Pangur Ban my cat,
'Tis a like task we are at:
Hunting mice is his delight,
Hunting words I sit all night.

Better far than praise of men
'Tis to sit with book and pen;
Pangur bears me no ill-will,
He too plies his simple skill.

'Tis a merry task to see
At our tasks how glad are we,
When at home we sit and find
Entertainment to our mind.

Oftentimes a mouse will stray
In the hero Pangur's way;
Oftentimes my keen thought set
Takes a meaning in its net.

'Gainst the wall he sets his eye
Full and fierce and sharp and sly;
'Gainst the wall of knowledge I
All my little wisdom try.

When a mouse darts from its den,
O how glad is Pangur then!
O what gladness do I prove
When I solve the doubts I love!

So in peace our task we ply,
Pangur Ban, my cat, and I;
In our arts we find our bliss,
I have mine and he has his.

Practice every day has made
Pangur perfect in his trade;
I get wisdom day and night
Turning darkness into light.
          --Translated from the Irish by Robin Flower


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 12:51 PM

It is never accurate to define people by a career.

However Rap's talent has inspired me to invent a new reality show.
Gladiator: American Librarian.

The shooting competition is from sliding ladders on tall stacks.
The beat the google clock competition is one of the most challenging.
The swimsuit competition is very popular.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 12:17 PM

Rap's finely tuned search skills are the mark of a truly great plagiarist. It's so much easier to steal someone else's words if one is adept at finding them.

Remember the Plagiarists' Motto: "Don't create! Locate! Then, appropriate!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 10:55 AM

Mammoth Cave in Kentucky was mined for bat guano to make gun powder as far back as the War of 1812.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 11:41 PM

1776 In the revolutionary war John Adams' wife wrote that she led a women's piss brigade for gunpowder.
I had no idea it took so long to make back then.

I don't know if librarians have proprietary secrets but how did you find that poem? I believe you may have raised search skills to a performance art of virtuosity, or at least the illusion, which is of course the same thing to an audience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 10:42 PM

Real song from the CSA. Haralson was designated to collect chamber lye from the ladies of Selma, Alabama to use in making KNO3 for the Confederate troops. Sung to the tune of "O Tannenbaum" or "Maryland, My Maryland" (your choice).

John Haralson! John Haralson!
You are a funny creature;
You've given to this cruel war
A new and curious feature.
You'd have us think, while every man
Was born to be a fighter,
The women, bless the pretty dears
Should save their pee for nitre.

John Haralson! John Haralson!
Where did you get the notion
To send barrels around our street
To fill them with that lotion?
We thought the girls work enough
With making shirts and kissing:
But now you put the lovely dears
To patriotic pissing.

John Haralson! John Haralson!
Pray do invent neater
And a somewhat less immodest way
Of making your saltpetre.
The thing is so very odd,
Gunpowder like and cranky,
That when a woman lifts her skirt
She shoots another Yankee!

They say there is a subtle smell
That lingers in the powder;
That when the smoke grows thicker,
And the din of the battle louder
That there is found to this compound
One serious objection;
A soldier can not sniff it
Without having an erection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 10:34 PM

Wickedpedia sayeth:

The earliest known complete purification process for potassium nitrate was outlined in 1270 by the chemist and engineer Hasan al-Rammah of Syria in his book al-Furusiyya wa al-Manasib al-Harbiyya (The Book of Military Horsemanship and Ingenious War Devices). In this book, al-Rammah describes first the purification of barud (crude saltpeter mineral) by boiling it with minimal water and using only the hot solution, then the use of potassium carbonate (in the form of wood ashes) to remove calcium and magnesium by precipitation of their carbonates from this solution, leaving a solution of purified potassium nitrate, which could then be dried.[15] This was used for the manufacture of gunpowder and explosive devices. The terminology used by al-Rammah indicated a Chinese origin for the gunpowder weapons about which he wrote.[16]

At least as far back as 1845, Chilean saltpeter deposits were exploited in Chile and California, USA.

A major natural source of potassium nitrate was the deposits crystallizing from cave walls and the accumulations of bat guano in caves.[17] Extraction is accomplished by immersing the guano in water for a day, filtering, and harvesting the crystals in the filtered water. Traditionally, guano was the source used in Laos for the manufacture of gunpowder for Bang Fai rockets...

In the process of food preservation, potassium nitrate has been a common ingredient of salted meat since the Middle Ages,[22] but its use has been mostly discontinued because of inconsistent results compared to more modern nitrate and nitrite compounds. Even so, saltpeter is still used in some food applications, such as charcuterie and the brine used to make corned beef.[23] When used as a food additive in the European Union,[24] the compound is referred to as E252; it is also approved for use as a food additive in the USA[25] and Australia and New Zealand[26] (where it is listed under its INS number 252).[3] Although nitrate salts have been suspected of producing the carcinogen nitrosamine, both sodium and potassium nitrates and nitrites have been added to meats in the US since 1925, and nitrates and nitrites have not been removed from preserved meat products because nitrite and nitrate inhibits the germination of C. botulinum endospores, and thus prevents botulism form bacterial toxin that may otherwise be produced in certain preserved meat products.[27][28]

In West African cuisine, potassium nitrate (saltpetre) is widely used as a thickening agent in soups and stews such as okra soup[29] and isi ewu. It is also used to soften food and reduce cooking time when boiling beans and tough meat. Saltpetre is also an essential ingredient in making special porridges, such as kunun kanwa[30] literally translated from the Hausa language as 'saltpetre porridge'. In the Shetland Islands (UK) it is used in the curing of mutton to make "reestit" mutton, a local delicacy.


Which, when my brothers found out that sodium and/or potassium nitrate were in the hot dogs we ate gave rise to the idea of taking a raw hot dog and sticking fuse in it. "Stand back, I'm gonna light the hot dog now!"


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Subject: RE: Smother all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 08:03 PM

The French recipe for the manufacture of salt peter and niter may have been featured #1 because the French palette was already gourmet trained and cultured for shit and piss tasting purposes. It seems to me it has to be an acquired taste. The rest of the story may even include using unwashed French Prostitutes for taste training purposes.
More historical research may prove quite interesting, such as the trials and tribulations of the very first guy to make salt peter and exactly how he discovered its volatile nature. Like I said it could be interesting shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 09:15 AM

That's not chicken shit, that's bat shit, and bat shit is a whole lot crazier than chicken shit. Just typing the words affirms that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 09:37 PM

Bee-Dubya-Ell, read this. It will tell you what to do with your chicken shit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 08:31 PM

Hi, Mom!

I'm sure you've heard someone exclaim, "I really don't need this shit!" Maybe you've even done so yourself.

Well, is there someone somewhere who really does need this shit? Can you let me know who he is so that next time I really don't need this shit I can call him and he can come take it off my hands?

Also, is the problem just with this shit, or with shit in general? Is there some other sort of shit that may be more acceptable than this shit? Maybe even a type of shit that someone really does need?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 12:58 PM

I have never read poetry on an NPR station, though I have performed a few times as part of a couple of bands. I once agreed to play some mellow improvised hammer dulcimer stuff while some guy read his poetry, but I was drunk when I struck the agreement and, when I sobered up, I remembered that I don't do mellow improvised hammer dulcimer stuff, only fast fiddle tunes. Somehow, playing "Liberty" or "Forked Deer" while someone read a poem about death and destruction didn't seem like a really good idea, so I called in sick and the station recruited a flute player from the university's music department.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 11:56 AM

Not to brag but my page is longer than yours and she never fell off.


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