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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 26 May 11 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 26 May 11 - 10:53 PM
Amos 26 May 11 - 11:04 PM
Acme 26 May 11 - 11:24 PM
Acme 27 May 11 - 11:55 AM
gnu 27 May 11 - 12:15 PM
Rapparee 27 May 11 - 02:24 PM
gnu 27 May 11 - 02:48 PM
Amos 27 May 11 - 08:41 PM
Rapparee 27 May 11 - 11:13 PM
Acme 28 May 11 - 12:54 AM
Amos 28 May 11 - 04:30 AM
Rapparee 28 May 11 - 11:17 AM
gnu 28 May 11 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 28 May 11 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 28 May 11 - 03:18 PM
gnu 28 May 11 - 05:13 PM
Amos 28 May 11 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 28 May 11 - 05:46 PM
gnu 28 May 11 - 06:10 PM
Rapparee 28 May 11 - 06:50 PM
Acme 29 May 11 - 12:01 AM
Amos 29 May 11 - 11:38 AM
Amos 29 May 11 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 29 May 11 - 01:10 PM
GUEST,MMario 29 May 11 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 29 May 11 - 09:27 PM
Amos 30 May 11 - 12:01 AM
Acme 30 May 11 - 12:04 AM
Amos 30 May 11 - 09:14 AM
Rapparee 30 May 11 - 03:51 PM
Amos 30 May 11 - 04:32 PM
gnu 30 May 11 - 04:50 PM
Eiseley 30 May 11 - 08:50 PM
Amos 30 May 11 - 08:56 PM
Rapparee 30 May 11 - 09:28 PM
Amos 31 May 11 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 31 May 11 - 10:40 AM
GUEST,Albert Einstein 31 May 11 - 01:54 PM
gnu 31 May 11 - 02:13 PM
Amos 31 May 11 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 31 May 11 - 06:22 PM
gnu 31 May 11 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 31 May 11 - 10:35 PM
Donuel 01 Jun 11 - 07:24 AM
Eiseley 01 Jun 11 - 07:46 AM
Rapparee 01 Jun 11 - 10:14 AM
Amos 01 Jun 11 - 11:55 AM
MMario 01 Jun 11 - 01:15 PM
GUEST,Albert Einstein 01 Jun 11 - 02:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 11 - 09:56 PM

Have gumption, will travel, reads the card of a man;
A knight without honor in a savage land;
He posts without number in his quest for a home
But he never rests easy on his palindrome!

Palindrome, palindrome, why do you stray?
Palindrom, palindrome, please.....go.......awayyyyyyy........

(Clip-clop effect while music fades)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 11 - 10:53 PM

But a special one, Amos, in that the sum of all of the other numbers equals the middle number and all that implies!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 11 - 11:04 PM

ALl that implies--to whom? Using what logical system? The juujuu man's guide to the four elements?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 11 - 11:24 PM

I think gny or LH has tossed a cookie. Someone call the smithee and have that corrected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 11 - 11:55 AM

Here's some fresh fruit for breakfast, MOM. I'm headed out into the garden for the next few days. My long weekend will make a big push to finish projects. I'll come check on you in case the boys are out drinking at the beach, kayaking, or duking it out at the Lodge Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 11 - 12:15 PM

I dunno what I tossed. I never logged out or on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 11 - 02:24 PM

That's because Canadians are so nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 11 - 02:48 PM

Tu chante ma pomme la.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 11 - 08:41 PM

Comment peut-elle chanter un pomme? Tu sais bien ou tu peut le mettre, ton pomme...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 11 - 11:13 PM

Ich no hablo Frankcase, moi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 May 11 - 12:54 AM

It's Friday night, had a couple of glasses of wine. English, please, I don't feel like fooling with the translation software.

I finished the construction of the wall, now I need to think about topping it off with mortar. Tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 11 - 04:30 AM

Gnu said "You are singing my apple, there!".

I said: "How can she sing anapple. You can put your apple you know where."

Rapparee said, "I don't speak German French."

Which we already knew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 11 - 11:17 AM

Yo hablo Profane and Obscene pretty bien, embora. Mein English ain't very bueno, nochtans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 May 11 - 11:40 AM

It's an old Acadian saying. Sort of, "You are shining my apple." with a twist... singing false praise... buttering me up... Irish charm.. blarney...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 11 - 11:48 AM

Okay, Canadians are a bunch of unwashed, surly, mean bastards who spend too much time cooped up in tiny snowbound cabins and who stomp lemmings and moose to death in fits of simple pique. They drink nothing but hoochanoo and eat nothing except flour and bear-kill leftovers. They also kick kittens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 11 - 03:18 PM

This was sent to me.

A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 May 11 - 05:13 PM

I have never kicked a moose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 11 - 05:27 PM

This is an excellent story, and I hereby claim it!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 11 - 05:46 PM

Of course, Amos. I assume you'll take the part of the Congressman?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 May 11 - 06:10 PM

Who is he in congress with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 11 - 06:50 PM

Gentlemen don't discuss such things about other gentlemen, but if you were to crop around a sleazy public house called "Blacky's" near the San Diego docks you might run into a woman called "Galloping Gertie" who could tell you a few things about Amos and congress. You might have to "grease the ways", though, since she IS a businesswoman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 May 11 - 12:01 AM

Those of you who are my friends on facebook, don't be surprised when Rap's story ends up there. Because it is going to. Soon. Very soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 11 - 11:38 AM

WAY too late!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 11 - 11:53 AM

Oh, MOM!! There are winds and rain here!! WTF? OMG!! This is our MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND for crying out loud! Maybe it will go away....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 11 - 01:10 PM

Oh, quit whining like a lost puppy! It's snowing here and we're not complaining about it!

Well, maybe a little. Actually, most people are indoors huddled around the ol' fireplace and talkin' about the weather. BUT! they're not complaining!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 May 11 - 01:43 PM

There's a strange bright light in the sky and I think someone turned up the lake heaters way too high....It's hot and humid and totally not like this time of year (or any time of year) for this reagion. BRIGHT light...heat...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 11 - 09:27 PM

I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

Of course, since I'm retired I don't have to go to work any day. I just do whatever I want to do, without a care in the world. Of course, I really really really want to cut the lawn and do the laundry and stuff like that because it's FUN. Cleaning the toilets -- WOW! I really want to do that kind of stuff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 11 - 12:01 AM

Well, I don't either. ha. Haha!! Mwhahahaha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 11 - 12:04 AM

The BBQ dinner tonight went well. Not a lot of us, but a core group that always enjoys each other's company. Not many dishes to wash and lots of leftovers. Life is good!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 11 - 09:14 AM

We had a fine dinner with friends Friday night, and sang until late.

If you have never seen the movie "Don Juan de Marco" imagine Faye DUnaway playing against Marlon Brando and Johnny Depp. It is a killer movie for those who truly love reality, or really love truth, or believe love is the true reality.

I loved it. We saw it last night for the second time in order to show it to a friend and it was as new and deep and sweet as the first time.

Marlon Brando is an incredible man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 11 - 03:51 PM

Ah, Amos...unless you know something none of the rest of us do, Marlon Brando hasn't been with us since July 1, 2004. He passed on then, walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, left this Vale of Tears, took the Ferry, kicked the bucket, croaked, left us behind, went to his Eternal Reward, became one of the Great Majority, was vitally challenged.

But it IS a good movie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 11 - 04:32 PM

Ah, Rapparee, that makes him no less incredible, nor any less a man for having completed his shuffle on this mortal coil in that masterful identity.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 May 11 - 04:50 PM

Just watched the first bit of that there movie on yer You Tube and I gotta watch me that. And I gotta get me one a them there masks and a cape on accounta it seems to work with the babes eh. Shane should look inta them there too.

Well, I already got a cape of sorts. It's a Kmart flag I, ah, well, aquired late one night. I had worked there for three summers when I was in high school and I outworked my way from stockboy to checker/pricer to top salesman so I figured that there flag was due me. Came in handy at uni where I was Captain Kmart and fought evil on Friday and Sarrurday nights. A course, that was back when I could do a bong hit a Thai Stick and climb the residence stairs four steps at a time on a dead run. Didn't have no sword... just a 99 cent water pistol but justice was served to any and all evildoers, especially those who would open their doors when I said, "Pizza".

Nowadays I can't even run downhill, don't know where my water pistol or cape are, and don't even know where I could score some dope even if I wanted to. Even superheroes get old I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 30 May 11 - 08:50 PM

Whew! I just came home from a long trip down south: to the very small town of Price, Utah. We (two of the boys and I, along with my dad) attended Granny's memorial service. It was very nice, especially cousin Elizabeth's rendition of Little Brown Jug at the very end. Years ago when Liz learned to play the piano, Granny asked her to play that song at her funeral. So she did. Unfortunately my former husband, whose grandma Granny was, was not able to muster up the strength to attend. But he did care for her in her last years, so I don't think bad thoughts toward him.

Then we had a wonderful rest of the weekend in the bosom of the family. Oh, and a friend gave us symphony tickets so I was able to see and hear a wonderful concert of The Rite of Spring and Richard Strauss's Last Four Songs. Beautiful! But it's very good to be home.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 11 - 08:56 PM

Curl up with a good book, Miss Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 11 - 09:28 PM

That's Ms. Eisley, MLS, you know. Eiseley, Mistress of Library and Information Science. Well, Master of. "Mistress" just doesn't sound quite right, somehow. I suppose she's mastered it, whipped it into shape, chained its concepts to her mind, and dominates it. There are, as far as I know, no leather garments involved in doing this, or at least there weren't when I got mine. Times may have changed, however.

There's an interesting thing I should mention. The School from which I received my Master's degree no longer exists. Nor does the one I went to for two semesters before that. My undergraduate college changed its name, so it no longer exists. My high school is long gone. If they ever close my grade school I won't know nothin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 11 - 10:36 AM

Wow. It's a good thing you're not applying for a career position somewhere.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 11 - 10:40 AM

Maybe national politics -- you don't gotta know nothing there and you can stay on for life. It's kinda like prison that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Einstein
Date: 31 May 11 - 01:54 PM

Amos, Marlon Brando is doing great. We had lunch last week in a little dive he found down on the waterfront. Maybe you can join us sometime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 May 11 - 02:13 PM

Yo, Al... you still taking long walks in the park?

I had a life-size photo of you on on my office door years ago. I thought it was cool. Whatshername trashed it while I was in Wabush, Labrador working on and airport runway electrical rehab. If ya got any left, think ya could send me one, autographed? Let me know about coin and I'll send you a money order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 11 - 02:26 PM

THe last time friend Albert took a long walk in the park he ended up in the wrong park and never came back!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 11 - 06:22 PM

I think I saw him skipping in downtown Pocatello this morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 May 11 - 08:18 PM

Rap... ya gotta keep a camera with ya at all times! Al is quite the ham when it comes to pics eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 11 - 10:35 PM

He seemed to be winking in and out. Perhaps he was with Gluon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 07:24 AM

Wounds my heart with a monotonous languor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 07:46 AM

I think that's the point.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 10:14 AM

Good heavens! Some people get up early!

Monotonous "Tony" Languor lived down the street from us when I was growing up. Nice kid, but always dressed in gray and spoke in a monotone. Never did anything much except sit around with a glass of gray Kool-Aid and read black & white comic books. Then, about the age of 14, he discovered girls and things changed. First he started wearing pink shirts and poodle skirts, but quickly discovered his mistake and wore simple white blouses with "Peter Pan" collars. I think he got a job, years later, with the singing group "The Village People."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 11:55 AM

The monotonous languor is a subspecies of the lemur family found mainly in the suburbs of Madagascar. It has a gray, bland coat, and is usually of average height and weight; it has the usual-length tail and a fairly normal set of behaviors. Its mating cry, feeding cry, tribe-alert cry, hunting call, and food-gathering call are all identical, consisting of one medium-length tone in midrange, sent out at average speed repeating at normal intervals without variation or interruption from sunrise to sunset. The monotonous languor has never broken out of its initial island environment, and is not given generally to any heroic or unusual efforts. It is not often hunted, being hard to see against the usual background and having no salient features or coloration.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 01:15 PM

I see you know your langours; The monotonous langour is the most common, but there are the occasional sightings, (if you are lucky) of the sultry langour.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Einstein
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 02:21 PM

Here you go. Me saying Aaah.


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