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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

JennyO 12 Jan 07 - 05:54 AM
JennyO 12 Jan 07 - 05:54 AM
JennyO 12 Jan 07 - 05:52 AM
JennyO 12 Jan 07 - 01:36 AM
Acme 12 Jan 07 - 12:42 AM
Amos 12 Jan 07 - 12:07 AM
Amos 12 Jan 07 - 12:02 AM
Ebbie 11 Jan 07 - 10:25 PM
Ebbie 11 Jan 07 - 10:25 PM
Bunnahabhain 11 Jan 07 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 07 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 07 - 05:56 PM
Amos 11 Jan 07 - 05:51 PM
MMario 11 Jan 07 - 01:17 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 07 - 01:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 07 - 12:08 PM
Acme 11 Jan 07 - 10:46 AM
Bunnahabhain 11 Jan 07 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 07 - 09:03 PM
frogprince 10 Jan 07 - 08:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jan 07 - 05:41 PM
Amos 10 Jan 07 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 07 - 05:03 PM
Amos 10 Jan 07 - 04:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jan 07 - 04:19 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 07 - 03:42 PM
Amos 10 Jan 07 - 02:28 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Jan 07 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 07 - 09:18 AM
Acme 10 Jan 07 - 12:02 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 07 - 06:55 PM
Acme 09 Jan 07 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 07 - 03:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jan 07 - 03:20 PM
MMario 09 Jan 07 - 02:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jan 07 - 02:15 PM
MMario 09 Jan 07 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 07 - 01:58 PM
Acme 09 Jan 07 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 07 - 11:43 AM
Bunnahabhain 09 Jan 07 - 11:40 AM
MMario 09 Jan 07 - 11:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jan 07 - 11:18 AM
MMario 09 Jan 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 07 - 09:32 AM
Amos 09 Jan 07 - 02:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jan 07 - 01:51 AM
Acme 09 Jan 07 - 01:11 AM
Rapparee 08 Jan 07 - 06:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 05:54 AM

to claim


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 05:54 AM

a few liberties, I guess it will be all right, seeing as no-one else is around


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 05:52 AM

if I just take


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 01:36 AM

I like this bit:

The officer asked the professor for identification.
The professor asked the officer for identification.


and this bit:

"I had five burly policemen pinioning me to the ground".
His colleagues were astonished. It was "like he was Osama bin Laden or something"


Geeze, you think they'd have something better to do with their time - like go and catch criminals!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 12:42 AM

Is it just me?

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. It comes from the "I Read it in the Newspaper" thread and I've been chuckling about it ever since I read it. I called my son in to read it. Maybe I've just been exposed to the grim American media for too long, where that dim bulb Bush is in all of the stories, or maybe it's the pint of beer I drank this evening that has my funnybone a tiny bit lubricated.

In the middle of all of this, they confiscated his peppermints!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 12:07 AM

Battleground Analysis

Congratulations!

You have been awarded the TPM medal of honour! This is our highest award for outstanding service on the intellectual battleground.

The fact that you progressed through this activity neither being hit nor biting a bullet suggests that your beliefs about God are internally consistent and very well thought out.

A direct hit would have occurred had you answered in a way that implied a logical contradiction. You would have bitten bullets had you responded in ways that required that you held views that most people would have found strange, incredible or unpalatable. However, you avoided both these fates - and in doing so qualify for our highest award. A fine achievement!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 12:02 AM

This is post 15,565 Actual!! So doodah.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:25 PM

Well, durn it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:25 PM

I like the numbers: 89 90.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:13 PM

I was away, doing valourous deeds. Ok, I was dancing, drinking, and comforting women. It's a hard job, but someone has to do it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:06 PM

I left it for another, faux numero 8989. But no one took it. So I will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:56 PM

Mom knows the six (or more) directions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:51 PM

Woke up this mornin'
Mom was hanging low.
She said drifting down lower
Was the only way she did know

Oooh wah, baby,
Don't you hate when your mother
Can't read the damn compass?

Ohhhhwahoooohwah, yeah.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 01:17 PM

wow! 15,555 posts with one keystroke? Added to the 15,554 post we already had that would make 31,109....

oh.

nevermind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 01:09 PM

My last post was really post 15,555!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:08 PM

Could work both ways, Stilly. In fact, it's something they could do together....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:46 AM

I can't come up with anything more than a well-punctuated "Eeeewwwwwwww!," as Amos suggested. Articulated correctly, that can be a powerful expletive. Think, for example, of a woman deciding that tonight is the night to finally do it with the boyfriend. . . and then read all of the possible reactions to the remark "Eeeewwwwwwww!" when she sees him nude.

He probably finds that to be as obscene a remark as he could imagine. I imagine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:23 AM

I have a feeling Rapiere is lapsing into Anglo-Saxon again. When will he listen to the simple saftey instructions?

:: If the legion distill it, and it eats it's way through a metal tankard, then don't drink it. Or at least find a batch without the special herbs in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:03 PM

How about or or ? All good English letters!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 08:49 PM

Which reminds me of something that has turned up in the crossword puzzzles is our local paper. Every so often, the clue is "a report card grade", and the answer is supposed to be "cee" or "dee". Did you ever receive a "cee" or a "dee" on your report card? So far I haven't caught the turkey who makes up the things using an "eff".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM

I have been advised (by a source who wishes to remain anonymous) that there are some "words" used in the UK, beginning with "E", which one would probably not wish to use in the presence of one's Aunt Florence. The one which struck me as being the most likely candidate for discussion here, since it does enjoy usage in the US as well, is "effing".

"Effing" is, of course, derived from the letter "F" , the first letter in "fuck", and is merely a way of saying "fucking" without actually saying "fucking". The question is: "Since the root of 'effing' is the letter 'f', does it qualify as an actual word beginning with 'e' or does it, for all practical purposes, begin with 'f'?"

If we allow "effing", will we then be required th allow the "ess" in "SOB" (abbreviation for 'son of a bitch')? When we say 'SOB' we don't pronounce it 'sob', as in "boo-hoo", but spell it out as 'ess-oh-bee'. And if we allow that, then would we be expected to allow any word beginning with a letter whose own spelling begins with an "E"? Think about it: Parents are always spelling out "ess-aitch-eye-tee" or "em-oh-tee-aitch-ee-ar-ef-you-cee-kay".

Where would it all end?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 05:41 PM

"Excrement" is too clinical. And, no, I'm not prejudiced about those other letters, I just hadn't gotten beyond "E" yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 05:12 PM

All letters are NOT created equal, Rapaire. Don't be a consonant-hugger.

A.
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 05:03 PM

How about k, y, and o? Are you being prejudiced against other letters, poor deprived letters that cannot be (in English) depraved as well? What sort of person are you that you won't give other letters equal rights with e?

Bad Bee-Dubya! Bad, bad, Bee-dubya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 04:43 PM

Excrement on you, BW!! And also "Eeeewwwwww!".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 04:19 PM

Hi, kids! Ya know what? I don't know of a single swear word or gross anatomical/physiological reference that begins with the letter "E". Sure, there are clinical terms like "evacuation" and "ejaculate", but there's nothing on a par with "shit", or "jizm". And there are mild oaths like "Egads!" but nothing to compare with "Goddammit!" As far as I know, there's no word starting with "E" that you can't legally say on the radio. Can you think of any? It has to be a "real" word. Made up combinations like "eel shit" don't count.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 03:42 PM

Hell's bells, Amos! At those ELFs you could serenade submerged submarines!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:28 PM

I think Rapaire is onto something there for the Texas Tunnel. It would restore the state's mythological claim on the biggest of all things. Imagine a penny-whistle miles and miles long. At frequecies that low, you could probably govern the mood in Washington by playing dirges or jigs according to your dark ulterior schemes on any given day.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 10:45 AM

The reason the enviromentalist lobby had it cancelled wasn't what you think. Oh no....


Th real reason was the sounds generated by such a system would only be detected by seismographs, and by whales. Now, as we all know, Enviromentalists love whales, and so listened to the ceteans complaints, which can be paraphrased down to 'Would you mind tuning that thing properly? It's bad enough played at that volume well, let alone how 'spaw does'

Of course, the only two methods available to fix the tuning were to fire all 19,000 federal employees working on the project and hire competent staff, or to rebore it in a different rock formation. Unfortunatley, the federal employes all turned out to live in a very marginal congressional district, and the only suitable rock formation was in the state of a senior senator, who objected to the vast investment that the project would bring, quoting the example of Jericho as to waht happens if you let some bright young man loose with a very big trumpet, and he wouldn't be having any of that in his state.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:18 AM

Yes. The hole thing was originally intended to work like a tin whistle, with thousands of well-beaned Bostonians at one end to provide the, ah, air and others along the route to open and close various sewer and other access lids to the tunnel to create the notes.

The intent was to create the world's greatest rendition of "Muskrat Love" but the designers failed to take the Clean Air Laws into consideration and the project was cancelled by pinko liberal tree-huggers from the UN-dominated Northeast.

You might want to look into using that big tunnel in Texas in this way. I'll betcha TEXAS wouldn't stop the project, especially if you were going play "The Yellow Rose Of Texas"!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 12:02 AM

So it was also a musical accelerator?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 06:55 PM

The deal is, the Big Boston Dig was originally intended to be a Superaccelerating Suppercollider. Boston is, as I sure you're aware, famous for its beans, and....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 04:36 PM

We almost had one. The Superconducting Super Collider in Texas. They called this "expensive," then look at the Big Dig in Boston! Sheesh! The Texas one might have been a lot more useful and whatever would have accelerated through it a lot more civil that what you run into on the streets of Boston!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 03:20 PM

I posted that so that you know what is going on at Fermilab and what they hope to accomplish before the Big Boys at CERN have the biggest accelerator in 2009.

Which is what physicists do when they're drunk:

"Yeah, well, just you whip your accelerator out and we'll just SEE whose is biggest! Barkeep, you do the judgin'!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 03:20 PM

Wow! I just found this cool picture of that CERN place where they do the crash tests on standard models. (CLICK)

Ya can't see it 'cause most of it's underground. The big red circle is the path of the collider and the little circles are the associated surface buildings. The thing at the bottom left is the airport.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 02:21 PM

well - the standard model in most magazines or fashion shows are not normally associated with unpleasant features. Unlike a standard elephant, which may or may not be to a person's taste, a standard model is normally selected to appeal to the broadest possible range - and thus unpleasantness is detrimental.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 02:15 PM

It should be pointed out that no elementary spin-zero particles have ever been found. In fact, the ad hoc introduction of these is considered by many theorists to be an unpleasant feature of the standard model.

Well, heck! Standard models are always loaded with unpleasant features, aren't they? If you want pleasant features you have to pay more money and get the deluxe model. Doesn't matter whether its a GUT or a SUV, the same principle applies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 02:06 PM

well - if they are looking for the bosun - why aren't they looking on ships? Or do they want a bosun on shore leave?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 01:58 PM

Fermilab may be close to finding Higgs particles (Higgs boson) and the Higgs field:

In the GWS model, the spontaneous breakdown is brought about the introduction of an elementary scalar field. This leads to the prediction of (at least) an additional spin-zero particle, the Higgs boson. With the discovery of the W and Z0 bosons at the CERN pp collider, and the top quark at the FERMILAB, only the Higgs boson
remains to be discovered to complete the particle content of the GWS electroweak theory. It should be pointed out that no elementary spin-zero particles have ever been found. In fact, the ad hoc introduction of these considered by many theorists to be an
unpleasant feature of the standard model.

The problem is the instability of the scalar particles masses under radiative corrections. For example, one-loop radiative corrections to these diverge quadratically, leading to corrections of the form:

δm2 = O(α/π)2

where is a cut-off parameter representing the scale of the theory and

α = e2/hc
≈ 1

is the fine structure constant. The parameter may be the Grand Unified Theory (GUT) scale O(1015GeV/c2), or the Plank scale O(1019GeV/c2) if we believe there is no new physics all the way up to the scale associated with quantum gravity. On the other hand, we know that for the scalar self-couplings to be sensibly treated within perturbation theory, the scalar mass

m2 6 O(m2
W/α) ∼ 1TeV/c2

In other words, either the Higgs sector is strongly interacting, or δm2 ≫,m2.

Such theories (where δm2 ≫,m2) have been technically referred to as
"unnatural", because the parameters have to be tuned with unusual precision in order to preserve the lightness of the Higgs mass compared to the GUT scale ?O(1TeV/c2).

One possible solution to the problem of naturalness is to imagine that the quarks, leptons and gauge bosons are all composites with associated scale ?O(1TeV/c2). While these solve the problem at present energies, it does not really represent a solution as we could ask the same questions of any underlying theory. Moreover, it would be difficult to understand why the gauge principle seems to work so well at least up to this point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 01:35 PM

My Word!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 11:43 AM

Well, you guys are gonna get a-worded really good over the t-word and then she'll r-word you until you e-word and your t-word breaks into little s-words.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 11:40 AM

How about the w word, as in 'what-on-earth-is-this-all-about'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 11:20 AM

I thought Paleontologists used the 'c' word.

fewmets!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 11:18 AM

Paleontologists don't like people using the "B" word either. They generally prefer the "A" word, though there are a few who think the entire issue is the "S" word and those who are adamant about the issue should "F" word off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 09:34 AM

MOM really doesn't like anyone using the 'B' word. well, not *that* 'B' word, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 09:32 AM

MOM doesn't like that kind of language! Boy, are you guys gonna get it! I'm glad I didn't do it! You're going to get your hands washed off with soap and spanked until you can't sit for a week! Except for Bee-Dubya, because he likes being spanked. Mom'll make him stand in the corner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 02:05 AM

This one is hardly any better.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 01:51 AM

Did you know that if you do a Google Image Search for "prick bush" you get very few pictures of roses or cacti, but you get numerous pictures of a rather simian looking fellow?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 01:11 AM

Interesting placement in this thread of the article about that prick Bush and his flaccid report card. The juxtaposition is rather poetic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:49 PM

Well, he hides his Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue under the mattress, so where else WOULD he hide his report card?


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