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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 03 Jun 15 - 08:47 AM
Amos 02 Jun 15 - 09:14 PM
Amos 02 Jun 15 - 10:14 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 15 - 04:46 AM
Acme 01 Jun 15 - 11:15 PM
gnu 01 Jun 15 - 04:11 PM
Amos 01 Jun 15 - 10:53 AM
gnu 31 May 15 - 06:47 PM
Amos 31 May 15 - 06:35 PM
gnu 31 May 15 - 02:17 PM
maeve 31 May 15 - 12:02 PM
gnu 31 May 15 - 08:11 AM
Ebbie 31 May 15 - 03:20 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 31 May 15 - 02:35 AM
Acme 31 May 15 - 12:55 AM
Acme 31 May 15 - 12:54 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 May 15 - 10:27 PM
Amos 30 May 15 - 09:23 PM
Acme 30 May 15 - 05:05 PM
Ebbie 30 May 15 - 03:27 AM
gnu 29 May 15 - 10:38 PM
Amos 29 May 15 - 02:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 May 15 - 01:46 PM
Amos 29 May 15 - 12:26 PM
Rapparee 29 May 15 - 11:29 AM
Acme 28 May 15 - 11:46 PM
Acme 28 May 15 - 09:50 AM
Amos 28 May 15 - 12:39 AM
GUEST 27 May 15 - 10:43 PM
Amos 27 May 15 - 12:20 PM
gnu 27 May 15 - 11:46 AM
Acme 27 May 15 - 10:28 AM
Amos 27 May 15 - 01:37 AM
Acme 26 May 15 - 09:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 May 15 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 26 May 15 - 08:27 PM
Rapparee 26 May 15 - 12:58 PM
gnu 26 May 15 - 12:49 PM
gnu 26 May 15 - 10:35 AM
GUEST,Mr. Rapparee 26 May 15 - 10:09 AM
Amos 26 May 15 - 09:05 AM
gnu 25 May 15 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 25 May 15 - 08:41 PM
Acme 25 May 15 - 06:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 May 15 - 05:59 PM
Rapparee 25 May 15 - 03:30 PM
GUEST 25 May 15 - 01:14 AM
Amos 25 May 15 - 12:23 AM
Rapparee 24 May 15 - 09:46 PM
Acme 24 May 15 - 08:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 15 - 08:47 AM

Twas 5C, rainy and windy when I woke. Good thing it wasn't clear as we would have had frost on the full moon (last night) and for the past three days. There'll be a warming on the morrow as it clears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 15 - 09:14 PM

Mom, I am going out to an open mic, where I will bow my head in memory of Our Jean, may she rest in great musicmaking. So don't wait up. I left some chocolate-covered truffles in the icebox for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 15 - 10:14 AM

I don't see why you'd be doing anything on a bus to Belfast, unless it was Belfast, Maine. It makes no sense. Most people get on a bus OUT of Belfast. So I am led to conclude that this is a coded message trying to tell us that Rapparree has been kidnapped and is being held ransom. Somebody contact the Derry Neerdowells -- I am sure they will run out with their rusty pikes and set matters right. ANd all they'll ask for is another gallon of poteen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 15 - 04:46 AM

My nephew the care of my father's single shot .22. What stories THAT could tell, of boys 'hunting' and other things. Maybe I'll tell some when I'm not using the wifi in a bus to Belfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 15 - 11:15 PM

Sounds like gnu and BWL have both gotten back bits of their childhoods with the recovery of old favorite rifles. Be sure you share those stories and pass them on to someone else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jun 15 - 04:11 PM

Yup, a pre 1964 94 30 cal. Man, if it could talk... the stories it could tell!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 15 - 10:53 AM

IS that a Winchester 30-30? Or some other .30?

Anyway, I am glad you got to get some tears out--it is always a good reminder of the dimensions within, often ignored, that need airing from time to time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 May 15 - 06:47 PM

I am again in tears. Cousin Jim just left. He called earlier and asked if I was accepting company. He arrived with two family heirlooms which should have been given to me upon Bro's death had my SiL not been such a silly bitch. "Been"? Still is. Thank goodness I did what I did and said what I said or these heirlooms would have left the Owens family forever for paltry dollars (long and strange story). She's like that. Anyway, there were six, and two have been returned to their proper home. I opened the first case and told his son, Daniel, a lad of 15, a story about it's contents and there was much laughter. Then, I looked at the second case and began to weep as I knew the case was my father's and I knew what was in it. I opened the case just enough to see what was in it even though I knew what it was and I lost it. Tears needing tissues. I sucked it up and told THE story about it. Jim teared up and his son understood.

Welcome home Dirty Thirty. Now that it is home, I can will it back to Cousin Jim when I die... on accounta that's what respect is all about.

Damn it's cold here tonight fer comin June month. Full moon comin and we got cloud cover and some showers so, not unusual... just abnormal given the past ten years or so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 15 - 06:35 PM

Dublin is, of course, a magical location on the misty shores of Eire. One of the things that makes the place magic is that it contains a fair city, which is ALSO called Dublin. Thus, Dublin is Dublin's fair city.

Stilly, well done! That gent was a wiseacre of the first order!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 May 15 - 02:17 PM

I awoke to the heat pump in cool mode. It is now in heat mode as the temp dropped about 12C from yesterday. It actally dropped about 6C in less than 5 minutes late AM today. Mum's apple tree blossoms coated the place in the wind. The north wind has settled and the rain has abated somewhat. I have a chicken thawing in the fridge for Tuesday... forecast is for 9C, rain and wind. I prefer such to the 30C+ of a few days ago. Plus, I likes me roast chicken.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 31 May 15 - 12:02 PM

Hello, beloved children of Mother.

Ebbie, I learned it as "In Dublin, fair city, where the girls are so pretty... " which makes sense even without poetry's license.

Maeve


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 May 15 - 08:11 AM

Poetic licence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 May 15 - 03:20 AM

"Dublin's fair city..."

I've never understood that phrase. Dublin IS a city. Right? How can a city have a city?

Unless they meant to say: Dublin is a fair city, etc.

In that case, why "IN" Dublin's fair city..., etc?

?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 31 May 15 - 02:35 AM

In Dublin's fair city
Where life is so gritty
I first sank me teeth
In Sweet Molly Malone....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 15 - 12:55 AM

"local" being at http://www.heraldnet.com/ - the hometown paper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 15 - 12:54 AM

As it happens, Amos, I was able to search my computer documents for "obit" and found several items, including a PDF I made of the page. From there I searched and came up with this link to John Wayne Dappen. It ran from Oct. 8 to 12, 2008 in the local paper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 15 - 10:27 PM

I'd love to write my own obit, but I doubt the newspaper can print "I'm dead, so fuck off!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 15 - 09:23 PM

Well, I wish you could find the link, Still! Levity about the skimpy fraud of mortality is in terrible short shrift in most parts of this allegedly mortal coil.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 15 - 05:05 PM

There was an obit in my hometown online paper a few years ago written in advance of his death by the man himself. It was quite interesting and amusing. Of course his family added to it, and they maintained the same tone. I remember that several of the remarks were from strangers congratulating them on the great write-up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 May 15 - 03:27 AM

I read a line in a recent obituary that rather startled me- I realize I am a visual person, not to say somewhat literal but anyway...

"So and So walked into the forest last night surrounded by his beloved wife and two daughters."

Sweet. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 May 15 - 10:38 PM

Escaped. I kinda like that one. Slid out the back. Ducked into the brush. Walked off... without a word. Got fed up and said fuck it.

I remember gnu. Heart was in the right place. Then, he decided it wasn't so he fucked off.

Yeah, he escaped. I'm cool with that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 15 - 02:25 PM

I think it is a shortening of "passed on", which implies transition without regard to success. But I agree it is ambiguous and I think we should start saying "escaped" instead.

"Aunie Rose--bless her heart!-- I just can't believe it's been three years since she escaped."

"The Jergenoid family is saddened at the recent escape of their Great-Uncle Abernathy Terwilliger Jergenoid, a man of great agility and distinction, who escaped last Friday at four-fifteen pm."

Yes, that would definitely shift the tenor of the conversation a tad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 May 15 - 01:46 PM

Hi, Mom! Why do some people say someone has "passed" when they die? How does anyone know whether another person has passed or failed? A dead person can't show you his report card. Oh, it's pretty obvious in some cases: Mother Theresa passed, Ted Bundy failed. But most cases aren't that clear cut. And anyway, even if they did pass, they didn't merely pass. There's no next grade to go to. They graduated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 15 - 12:26 PM

Given the number of times you have repeated your mendacious defamations, Mister R., isn't it clear by now that you are wholly unprincipled in respect to truth-telling? Really. If this thread weren't dedicated to BS, you would have to be ashamed of yourself. And off to Dublin, as well, and that the center of the entire BS universe to boot! I am afraid you will return infected from toe to forelock, unless you wear a whole body condom. Not a bad idea--just be sure to have someone apply a little twist-tie to the top end of it for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 15 - 11:29 AM

I was the proposer for Art.

Today I fly to Dublin, Ireland, for a MONTH of pubs and parties. Well, actually about 28 days. But I'll check in whenever I can. Support MOAB! -- don't be yourself!

(I know very well that Amos isn't a Republican, but a member of the Tea Party, which grows daily more and more like that of the Mad Hatter.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 May 15 - 11:46 PM

More rain. Monsoon season in Texas. And predicted again tomorrow night. This has already been the wettest May ever in Texas, and it may be the wettest month ever measured. Being an unwilling participant has been trying. My yard is a jungle. There is moss growing on the dogs. My Seattle web toes have been completely restored after years of a Mediterranean climate. MOM is going to have to hire someone to come dig the moss out of spots on the roof. If I want to dry out I guess I'll have to go visit Seattle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 May 15 - 09:50 AM

I could look it up, but it would take a long time to do it. So I second that motion.

Guess what, MOM? This has been the wettest May EVER in Texas. And I suspect the wettest MONTH EVER in Texas. We still have four more days of rain to add to the statistics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 15 - 12:39 AM

I agree with whoever the hell you are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 15 - 10:43 PM

I propose Art Theime as an Ornery Moabite! All opposed signify be shutting the hell up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 15 - 12:20 PM

He called me out of the blue one day, just to pass on some compliments on a CD I made. He didn't have to do that and I have no idea where he got my phone number, but there he was, big as life on the other end of a phone line. He was a really, really funny guy, and a sweetheart in the bargain, and I have been happier for knowing he was in the world.

Sniff.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 15 - 11:46 AM

Yeah, Art was a helluva guy. My face always lit up when I saw there was a post from him and I was seldom disappointed. Gonna miss him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 15 - 10:28 AM

MOM says we need a moment of silence to note the passing of Art Thieme. I suspect he posted a time or two in this thread, but if not, he should be an honorary member. If anyone could shovel out quality BS, it was Art.

Okay, back to chopping onions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 15 - 01:37 AM

Bravo, Mister Dubya Ell!

As far as chopping onions go here's the tool no home should be without..

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 15 - 09:49 PM

A friend at work was commenting today that she usually puts chopped onions on hotdogs, but since I gave her a big jar of my green tomato relish, she doesn't need to add extra. I've a bag of home grown onions chopped and frozen that I use in things like marinara sauce and bean recipes, and I think it was homegrown onions along with the garden peppers and tomatoes in the relish.

Our 20% chance of rain today is making a heckuva lot of noise outside right now. I think the forecast must have meant 20% of the day it would rain. Amos, I'd like to send you some of this, if you'll provide a suitable incantation to send it on its way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 May 15 - 08:37 PM

A lengthy, but probably not exhaustive, list of things for which "IRA" stands:

Irish Republican Army        
Individual Retirement Account        
Individual Retirement Arrangement (IRS)        
International Reading Association        
Import Risk Analysis        
Individual Retirement Annuity (life insurance)        
Intercollegiate Rowing Association        
Indian Reorganization Act        
Internal Revenue Allotment (Philippines)        
Iran Air (ICAO code)        
Institut Régional d'Administration (French: Regional Institute of Administration)        
International Reference Alphabet (7-bit coded character set)        
Illinois Restaurant Association        
Interim Remedial Action        
Inherited Runs Allowed (baseball pitching statistic)        
Institut des Régions Arides (French: Institute of Arid Regions; Tunisia)        
Institute of Resource Assessment (Tanzania)        
Import Risk Assessment        
Ileorectal Anastomosis        
Independent Regulatory Agency        
Irregular Repeat-Accumulate (coding scheme)        
Indian Removal Act of 1830        
Illinois Recycling Association (formerly Illinois Association of Recycling Centers)        
Inventory Record Accuracy        
Integrated Risk Assessment        
Immediate Response Account        
Institut de Recherche Aérospatiale (French)        
Individualized Residential Alternative (New York)        
Investor Rights Agreement        
Institut de Radiophysique Appliquée        
Impulse Radiating Antenna        
Inverness Royal Academy        
Informal Rate Agreement        
Incubateur Régional d'Aquitaine (French: Aquitaine Regional Incubator; Aquitaine, France)        
Institut de Recherche Agronomique (Cameroon)        
Interim Removal Action        
Interim Response Action        
Independent Research Agency        
Institutional Research Award (NASA)        
Internet Routing Address        
Information Research Associates        
International Racing Association        
Intelligence Related Activity        
Independent Reporting Activity        
Information Requirement Analysis        
Indiana Rehabilitation Association        
Iterative Refinement Algorithm        
Interface Requirements Analysis        
Internal Revenue Association        
Intelligent Reuse Advisor (CASE)        
Intercon Research Associates        
Initial Request Analysis        
Inspection Régionale de l'Agriculture (French: Regional Agriculture Inspection; Senegal)        
International Roaming Agreement (telephone networks)        
Item and Release Application        
International Reiki Alliance        
Interrogation Réponse Aéronautique (French: Aeronautics Interrogation Response; Directorate of Civil Aviation; France)        
Information Retrieval for Advertising (workshop)        
Initial Risk Assessment        
Information Research and Analysis (University of North Texas; Denton, TX)        
Information Retrieval Agent        
Industrial Rope Access        
Individual Right of Action (legal claim)        
Inventoried Roadless Areas (various locations)        
Investor Relations Association        
Islamic Rating Agency (banking)        
Issue Resolution Agreement        
International Retrovirology Association        
International Regulatory Affairs Updates (est. 2004)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 15 - 08:27 PM

help i'm in saltlakecity


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 15 - 12:58 PM

Buy them, cut them up however you wish, and freeze them. Chop them up with celery and freeze them to use in cooking. Do them with sweet peppers the same way. Cheaper and easier than doing that every time you need them AND you have great onions the year around.

No, no, don't thank me. Just send lots and lots of US dollars, twenties and fifties preferred but not the only ones accepted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 15 - 12:49 PM

The Vidalias are here! The Vidalias are here! $5 for a 3# bag up ta yer Sobeys. Can you say BURGER TIME!? I might even have to make a BLT tomorrow, substituting the L with a V. I don't do L any more. Too many times we hear of bad lettuce making people ill. Plus, it's one of those veggies with a lot of pesticide on them that's hard to wash off. At least I can vigorously wash off celery before I cook it or put it in salt water for munching it raw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 15 - 10:35 AM

Good one RAP! Hahahaaa.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mr. Rapparee
Date: 26 May 15 - 10:09 AM

It's ON HIS IRA, not TO JOIN THE IRA. An individual retirement account is somewhat different from the Irish Republican Army. I've been in the army and unlike Amos, I'm not a Republican. I'm also not Irish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 15 - 09:05 AM

According to the Clancy Brothers, Rapparree is going to go to Dublin to join the IRA.   However, I think he is in for a disappointment. These days they are mostly doing hedged investments and vote campaigns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 15 - 10:12 PM

Speakin a yer gators, Troy Landry will be at Cabela's in Moncton (opens in four days) about 3 km from my house on Saturday from 12 to 3 PM! Tree shakah Jake! Tree shakah!

King of the swamp. One tough SOB. One real nice guy. Spittin image of some of my Acadian relatives.

Alas, I shall not attend. I dare not brave wading through the crowd of screaming rednecks that would make the Beatles' adulation by horny young teenage girls look paltry in comparison.

Choot im Lizebet! Choot im!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 15 - 08:41 PM

Guess where I'm going!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 15 - 06:54 PM

Go a bit further west, to the Choctaw area of Mississippi, and they call the panthers "painters." At least, that's what the Choctaw word sounds like, according to a Chocktaw friend.

To no surprise, it rained again today. I was planning to paint, but after a soggy trip to Home Depot I put it off for a while. After the air conditioner has time to dry out the house a bit I'll get started. I found a bunch of painting supplies in the garage, many of them encrusted with mud dauber nests. Of course I didn't buy the one thing I needed because I thought it was out there, but I've reached my quota of Home Depot trips for a three day weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 May 15 - 05:59 PM

I do not have pythons. The pythons are in south Florida. I live in northwest Florida. To get to the pythons, I would have to drive at least ten hours. The swamps in my part of Florida only have the usual compliment of indigenous deadly animals such as cottonmouths, alligators, rattlesnakes, coral snakes, bears, panthers*, wild hogs**, and mosquitos.


* The edjicated folks at the Florida Wildlife Commission will tell you that there are no panthers/pumas/cougars in this part of Florida, but I've seen one myself and heard several firsthand accounts of sightings. I think the panthers just have an aversion to game wardens.

** No, wild hogs aren't truly indigenous. They're descendants of Spanish colonial era livestock escapees. But if you've been part of the landscape for over 400 years....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 15 - 03:30 PM

What were you doing up so late, Amos? Your bedtime is 8:00 p.m. and you know it! Boy, are you gonna catch it from Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 May 15 - 01:14 AM

Go for Bee-Dub. He's also got pythons and skeeters.
moo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 15 - 12:23 AM

Bravo. Honestly between cream pies, chasing leprechauns down the SLough, and burning landscapes in Florida, I just don't know who to envy the most!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 15 - 09:46 PM

Let's see:

Tuesday I go to SLC and overnight there.
Wednesday morning I fly to Chicago.
Thursday I spent in Valparaiso, Indiana.
Friday I fly to Dublin.
June 6, 7, and 8 I'll be in Dingle.
June 13 I'll start a week in a cottage in West Cork -- Ahakista, to be precise. Nice little place, thatched roof, leprechauns frolicking in the garden, sleeps eight, three baths -- just a typical Irish cottage.
June 21 I'll fly back to Chicago.
June 23 I'll be back in Pocatello.

Someone has to do these things!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 15 - 08:55 PM

Sometimes the best dessert is to skip the pie and have a single malt Scotch instead. :)


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