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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Jun 06 - 11:57 PM
Acme 11 Jun 06 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 06 - 10:18 PM
Amos 11 Jun 06 - 07:54 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 06 - 06:18 PM
Amos 11 Jun 06 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 06 - 05:29 PM
Acme 11 Jun 06 - 04:57 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 06 - 02:32 PM
Amos 11 Jun 06 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 06 - 10:43 PM
Amos 10 Jun 06 - 08:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jun 06 - 07:38 PM
Acme 10 Jun 06 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 06 - 05:49 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Jun 06 - 02:07 PM
Acme 10 Jun 06 - 01:56 PM
Amos 10 Jun 06 - 01:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 06 - 12:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jun 06 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 06 - 11:46 AM
Amos 10 Jun 06 - 11:39 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jun 06 - 11:14 AM
Amos 10 Jun 06 - 09:17 AM
Acme 10 Jun 06 - 01:41 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 06 - 09:42 PM
Amos 09 Jun 06 - 12:10 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 06 - 11:37 AM
Amos 09 Jun 06 - 10:53 AM
Amos 09 Jun 06 - 12:33 AM
Rapparee 08 Jun 06 - 10:24 PM
Amos 08 Jun 06 - 08:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jun 06 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 06 - 05:22 PM
Acme 08 Jun 06 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 06 - 12:12 PM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 10:10 PM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 06:45 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 06:25 PM
Bunnahabhain 07 Jun 06 - 05:24 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 05:06 PM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 01:21 PM
Acme 07 Jun 06 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 10:49 AM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 10:38 AM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 08:48 AM
Bunnahabhain 07 Jun 06 - 03:41 AM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 10:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 11:57 PM

I think that it's the upper left quarter and the lower right quarter. It's quite messy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 10:40 PM

If it is the half that doesn't talk or type you're better off. Stick the end you do have in the mouth of a shark (so it protrudes) at the Chicago Aquarium to freak out the visitors. They could probably use the increase in visitation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 10:18 PM

I started. Sorry. But I only got halfway through before I read that you didn't want him.

What am I to do with half of him? It's not even his best side.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 07:54 PM

I would not, SIr; and as you are still innocent of crime, I would ye had notte thee sayme, either.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 06:18 PM

No, that was the Grimoire Speculorum, a volume in my private library. Written sanguinus humanorum on pellagra humanorum it is one of those little bibliographical finds, like the Necronomican (which I also have) one runs across from time to time. For example, in the GS there is this recipe for a form of Viagra:

Pluck the hairs from Ye testicles of Ye living Wolfe and boil in the blood of a chimera until they be dissolved. Boile into it ye fat from the kydneys of a hanged manne and continue in ye same manner until the potion be as thicke as butter. Make to dissolve a peece of this the size of a pea in a glass of wine and ye shall never be without a cockstand when wanted.

This lost me at the part about plucking the hairs from a wolf....

Would you have the enchantment to call up "ye demon Martinn Gibbsonn"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 05:50 PM

Last time he dicked around with the Maleus the Mudcat went down for a week and Martin Gibson re-appeared.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 05:29 PM

I myself have worked with incunabula (52 titles, no less!) and various rare books like a first edition of "Ulysses" and a third edition of the "Malleus Maleficarum". I didn't use them as a footstool, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 04:57 PM

Former boss of mine was a librarian at Smithsonian in his youthful intern day. He had an "office" in a cubby under a stairwell where he could read, eat lunch, and put his feet up out of sight of the public. His director got all in a tizzy at one point because someone wanted to see their folio of Audubon art and they couldn't find it. He asked what it looked like, thought a bit, then took them down to his "office." His footrest had been the box the pictures were stored in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 02:32 PM

If you think the Gutenberg Bible is nice, try the Book of Kells! (Trinity College Dublin won't lend that, either!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 06 - 01:30 PM

Oh, the towering ambition of youth.

I saw one once (a Gutenberg bible) in the museum in Los Angeles.

Very beautiful, slow, graceful object. Vibrant in a way, but one that bespoke a long, long, process.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 10:43 PM

Bee Dubya could just wait for the next hurricane and WHOOSH! it's gone away!

Most of my books aren't duplicated in the Library, and I buy those I want to own (i.e., I'll read them several times, use them for reference, etc.).

When I was in grad school the first time I tried to borrow a book from the Library of Congress on ILL. I took down all the pertinent information from the old National Union Catalog and submitted the request to the ILL librarian. He confirmed that I was a grad student and therefore eligible to borrow from LC, I told him that the book was NOT available in the University Library, and he turned and walked away to submit it, turned in mid-stride, and said, "No. I'm not going to submit this. For one thing, I doubt that LC will send their Gutenberg Bible on ILL and for another, even if they did we can't afford the security."

Well, I tried.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 08:58 PM

And ILL won't help with that kind of crap.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 07:38 PM

It's a 100 mile round-trip for me to the nearest flush toilet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 06:32 PM

Rap, you WORK in a library--do you really NEED to go to B&N? Just get it ILL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 05:49 PM

400 mile round trip??? Jeez man, I have a 100 mile road trip just to go to the Barnes and Noble bookstore!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 02:07 PM

I know the feeling, SRS. York and back in a day. 400 mile round trips are not fun. No traffic at least. Apperently some football match was on...

Very starnge, being in England aand seeing flags everywhere. It's just not English. Felt much more normal when I got back to Scotland, and saw national flags everywhere. I'm used to random displays of Scottish nationalism.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 01:56 PM

It isn't good for a camera to rattle around unsecured in an empty space, Amos. It would break the camera.

I'm half-way through all of my trips to Dallas. I think the train (read: cheap but time consuming) portion is over. Tonight and twice tomorrow I must drive (read: faster but way more expensive). The things we do for our kids (and the lack of appreciation that they show for all of that work) is staggering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 01:31 PM

I wonder if we could slip a webcam into her most secret and closely guarded regions -- for example, her brain.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 12:37 PM

Yeah! Toejam! Athlete's foot! Even jock itch! Like an reality TV show starring Ann Coulter!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 12:14 PM

You mean like "Sinus Cam" or "Esophagus Cam"? No, wait! What an idea! The ultimate in microcamera websites! "Toejam Cam"! Just attach a wireless microcam between two of your toes and don't wash your feet for, oh, two weeks. A new low in voyeurism to be sure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 11:46 AM

Geez, don't we have enough of those websites already????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 11:39 AM

It would give some visibility into the nature of, um, intimacy. Which might be a good thing.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 11:14 AM

Why would I want to arm myself with gardners, chauffeurs and fiber optic lines? I like the arms I have. Anyway, if I were to have a gardner where my right arm is and a chauffeur where my left arm is then there wouldn't be room for a fiber optic arm. Oh, I suppose it could be a leg or a foot or errr... mmmm.... something. We'll let Rustic Rebel finish that thought.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 09:17 AM

Well, I wish we could all call in disgustingly rich and arm ourselves with gardners and chauffeurs and personal fiber optic lines, THEN you'd see some BS all right.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 06 - 01:41 AM

Sorry, Ma, but I've been riding the rails today. Took kids to a convention in Dallas this morning, then returned to pick up the youngest to spend the night at home. Repeat again on Saturday and Sunday. No train on Sunday, though, so that trip will cost me in gas money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 06 - 09:42 PM

Gracious, Mom! You were just two from being the very bottom! Now you get back up where you belong and don't go hanging around those low dives anymore, you hear? You might see something* there that would shock you!






























*Like Bee-Dubya-Ell. Or Amos. Or worse, me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 06 - 12:10 PM

I am not going to go haring after your 7% solution, even if you hound me to. I am no baker, street irregular, or holme-less ragamuffin to cater to pipe dreams or similar fiddles.

BTW, I recently traversed a web page that showed, at the bottom, an ad specializing in legal services for those who had been bitten by bedbugs in hotels. The headline said "Bed Bug Lawyers". I think this is one for the Martian Annals of Earth -- that collection of Terran idiosyncracies so extreme that they would make an Ancient One just shake his head in disbelief.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 06 - 11:37 AM

Why would I give you a dressing gown? And if I were to do so should it be mouse-colored so that you can wear it around Holmes? Or would you prefer another color -- a study in scarlet, perhaps, although that might make your skin sallow and give you a yellow face. What, son? I should stop needling you or I might become a man with a twisted lip?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 06 - 10:53 AM

For which footless fugue I full deserve a dressing down.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 06 - 12:33 AM

No greaves for such as I; but if you wager on it, I will doublet, that you may know I am not jerkin you about, nor seeing you a hosier, either; I will not sock you nor greave you, gantlet you be as you will.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 06 - 10:24 PM

T'will serve, t'will serve.

If I ask for you tomorrow, will I find you aggrieved, man?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 06 - 08:33 PM

No more so than the old saw often used by those -- like us -- accustomed to deep posts. For deep posts require deep thought, and being deep and whole; and when the flurry of the times means several such posts, deep and wholly to the point, are called for, then several similarly deep postholes are wholly in order. And thus one can only recite, as our elders did so often, when confronting several such deep posts whole,

"Well, well, well."

There, it is enough, and if the humour is too broad, at least it was not broadly written, and is not as dour as a church.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jun 06 - 07:22 PM

I just noticed that my drywall T-square is made by the Johnson Tool Company. Isn't that a bit redundant?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 06 - 05:22 PM

It's simple being green! Some chloroblasts, a hypodermic needle, a pinprick of pain...no sweat. Or simply replace the iron in your hemoglobin with copper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 06 - 05:19 PM

I thought you were going to follow that "fraud pond" wisp of an idea. But maybe you haven't had much practice with the puns? It's not easy being green.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 06 - 12:12 PM

Like, a pixel and shovel?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:47 PM

Bring along the kids, and introduce them as pixels!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:10 PM

Yes! I could be a Picter show!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 06:45 PM

IF they accuse you of fraud because you are from across the pond, you can simply claim to be a Picter from Life's Other Side.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 06:25 PM

I was in Edinburgh in October. Would it work then too? Do I have to be in full Highland dress, or can I strip naked, paint myself blue, and go Pictish?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 05:24 PM

Be sure to take lots of best wishes, positive energy and anything else of that order you can think of.

The swords won't help on the Plane, but they are useful for getting through city streets. Central Edinburgh, tourist season, in Full Highland. You can legally carry a sword, and resisting the urge to use it on the slow moving crowds is hard. So long as the case comes up in August, I'm sure the jury will buy an insanity defense....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 05:06 PM

We're in a waiting mode right now. All we can do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 01:21 PM

Take along a few posts, but ones without a point. Otherwise they will bother you about them.

Good luck; best to the Ms. I do hope he pulls through.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 12:43 PM

Aww, Mike, sorry to hear about that. Make the trip while you can, and our best to Pat.

(Don't take any of those swords with you on the plane or it will slow down your travel considerably.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:49 AM

Yeah, well....

My father-in-law is in Cardiac Intensive Care in DC. He had a heart attack Sunday last and was taken by ambulance on Tuesday night. Yesterday his blood pressure dropped, but it's been stabilized. He's sedated and hooked up to a dozen machines.

I may be flying to DC at short notice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:38 AM

I wish to report to my friends here that I have just diligently re-read every MOAB post back through time as far as the 24th May 2006, where Rapaire is accused of rnning a floating library game.

I must say the thread is pure gold, a scintillating river of delight in the heart of the Valley of the Shadow of Republicans.

Mangle tak, as the Danish washerwoman put it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 09:54 AM

Pommeling the hilt can make you temporarily blind; but I realize this warning may be many years late in arriving.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 08:48 AM

The point is my point, and my point, while blunted for safety, is sharp. True, it has its foible, but its forte is to be guarded to the hilt. I wouldn't want to pommel the point too much, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 03:41 AM

Stilly, we're on Moab. You're asking if there's a point?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 10:35 PM

As Rapaire has pointed out, he is not fencing words, and his point is well made, and certainly his post does not deserve to be denied the point; for that would be almost as bad as losing one's post altogether. But, and I say it whole-heartedly, I am touched, and moved by such touch to take up defence in this post of his point from his own. This makes me wholly, and deeply, responsible for opening my mouth, with haste, as a sort of post orifice, if you will. And though as deep as a hole, surely not as deep as a well, or a hale, as they say when they cry, "Hale, no!".. But, for a post, 't will serve.

A


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