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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 20 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM
gnu 20 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM
Acme 20 Sep 12 - 08:28 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 12 - 09:01 PM
Amos 20 Sep 12 - 11:49 PM
Amos 21 Sep 12 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 10:28 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 21 Sep 12 - 02:16 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 02:48 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 21 Sep 12 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM
gnu 21 Sep 12 - 03:07 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 21 Sep 12 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 10:39 PM
Amos 21 Sep 12 - 11:08 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 22 Sep 12 - 11:39 AM
Acme 22 Sep 12 - 02:04 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM
Acme 22 Sep 12 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 12 - 04:03 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 12 - 04:30 PM
Acme 22 Sep 12 - 08:20 PM
Acme 23 Sep 12 - 11:36 AM
Rapparee 23 Sep 12 - 12:32 PM
Acme 23 Sep 12 - 06:25 PM
Acme 24 Sep 12 - 01:13 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 10:11 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Sep 12 - 11:27 AM
GUEST,Amos 24 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM
Little Hawk 24 Sep 12 - 02:12 PM
Acme 24 Sep 12 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 10:51 PM
Acme 25 Sep 12 - 01:03 AM
GUEST 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 11:18 AM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 12 - 12:06 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 12:08 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 12 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 12 - 11:26 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 12 - 12:23 AM
GUEST,Frank Guerrero 26 Sep 12 - 09:19 AM
GUEST,Balladette 26 Sep 12 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 26 Sep 12 - 09:44 AM
Acme 26 Sep 12 - 10:26 AM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 12 - 11:04 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM

Haitian Creole. Apparently you don't know your Haiti from your Hunky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM

Well ain't that just hunky dory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 08:28 PM

MOM, you're sagging mighty low this evening.

Amos, why isn't Ebola the Unicorn white? All of the unicorns in pictures and on Harry Potter movies are white. Centaurs could be different colors quite easily, but unicorns?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 09:01 PM

I wonder how Gluon feels about all this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 11:49 PM

EBOLA has wavy black mane and ochre skin. It's how she was drawn. Who am I to question? Why does Chongo wear a fedora and talk funny? Ebola has a pearlescent white horn, however, which she uses to Wreak Justice wherever needed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:21 AM

I sent Ebola off on a quest to find and interrogate Gluon on this subject, but she returned with the report that he was in too many places at once to be able to hold a conversation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:25 AM

I've heard from my friend John, who works at Argonne National Lab. He tells me that CERN has hard evidence that Gluon is "cavorting" with Higgs bosons and they have no idea what the outcome will be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:28 AM

The actual message from CERN said, "Gluon hat mit Higgs-Bosonen tummeln sich gewesen." Perhaps Eiseley or some other German-speaker can translate better than John can...his German is rudimentary, to say the least.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 02:16 PM

"Why does Chongo wear a fedora and talk funny?"

Why, Amos? Easy. Cos Humphrey Bogart did, that's why. And so did Philip Marlowe. Fedoras look good. 40's tough guy lingo sounds good.

Now I got a question for you. Why does Amos use oddball French words and phrases like "jejeune" and "mon petit" when he ain't French? Hmmm? Why?

Is he tryin' to impress the ladies or somethin'? Is he pretendin' to be a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac? Is he drinkin' too much Creme de Menthe? Inquirin' minds want to know.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 02:48 PM

What a disingenuous query! How puerile, but certainly troglodytic and demonstrating a intellectual panorama (or should that "pan-aroma"?) of néant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 02:59 PM

Kree-Gah!!! Jeezus, Rapparazee, you been afflicted with an acute case of Advanced Amositis! That can prove fatal for most people within a few days. Get help fast, man.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM

Lissen, daisy. Amos is jakeloo, he ain't no rube you can take for a sawbuck or to take fall for a drop game, see? He don't play the canary or spill and then do a heel-and-toe. He'll even let you crash in his nest if you don't bring the heat on him. I don't know what your grift is, gunsel, but if you don't want a goon to plant a bean in your pump you'd better lay off Amos. You don't want no Chicago overcoats, see?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 03:07 PM

Troggies, Trekkies, Tribbles... tribulations that are trifle in trash talk.

Oh, my pea soup is almost done. I make a mean pea soup even tho mum can't handle onions in it. But, I compensate with onion and garlic powder in mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 03:15 PM

LOL!!!!! Ook! Ook! That was great, Rap. I damn near fell out of the tree.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:39 PM

Listen, Aunty Chonga. Flip a rattler or go by hand, but high ball. You're flagged. The harness bulls heard from the Jesus guy and they want you honey dippin' or carryin' the mustard at the big school, maybe on a peanut farm. They think you rolled your possesh, but you wuz seem stemming by other boes. So get on the cat wagon or something. A word to the wise, you know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 11:08 PM

Listen to the lick that cat is laying down on the Hawl. I swan!!


Well, I don't actually, but I know someone who does.

Anyone, Adios, muchachas, y adios mu Mamacita, y todos me companeros. I am off in the blue at the crack of dawn to follow the sky-high trail back to the East coast. I will cavort with Dani and Janie and Bobert, and practice living as a free and self-defined human being once again. It should be most interesting.

I'll see if my iPhone can log in from Raleigh. Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful.

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 11:39 AM

You can high-style it all you want, Amos, but you'll still never get to dance with Angelina Jolie.

Rapparazee, you are developin' a real impressive brand of lingo there. Most people nowadays wouldn't even understand half of it, but around this neighborhood? I think you would do fine. Too bad you was not born an ape, that's all I can say. You would fit right in with the North Side Gorillas, maybe even get to sit at the right hand of the Boss.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 02:04 PM

Darn, as I read the last few posts I was going to stick in one of those "I swan" things that Amos always uses. But he beat me to it.

So I'll share the Chongo the Chimp and Amos show instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM

Wow. What a bizarre cartoon. The old city slicker vs rural hayseed dilemma, eh? I guess the grass always does look greener on the other side of the fence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 03:49 PM

You haven't seen that one? It's a classic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 04:03 PM

Chonga, you might see the bull of the woods out this way. He might take you on and you could sling your turkey into a breech loader, but you'd probably come on as a bullcook and get a muzzleloader to start. It's a nosebag show in peatland with some pecker poles, but by breakup you could be cordelling or even have won your calks. Most likely you'd be at least a road monkey, but never an under cutter, even if you work the jobber's sun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 04:30 PM

Jist think, Ma: this time next week I'll be sittin' by Chesapeake Bay, lissin' to music and swappin' lies with folks like Amos, but in the flesh. Ain't nothin' like it, 'specially iffen you forgot ta pack clean underwear and they have ta haul ya to the horsespittle er something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 08:20 PM

And we'll envy you the trip!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 12 - 11:36 AM

So is everyone on the road? MOM was kind of lonely this morning when I checked in on her. She had this out this morning and said something about Rap's wife doing a lot of quilting and visiting museums, so she's going to turn her house into a quilt museum so all of us will visit more often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 12 - 12:32 PM

Mom's quilts are, ah, less than aesthetically pleasing and her propensity to match cotton with polyester double knit blocks and spandex remnants makes them, well, unique.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 12 - 06:25 PM

No two alike, that's for sure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:13 AM

And now that it's late and none of the boys have rolled into the driveway yet, MOM is going to take her current quilt and trundle off to her bed. The dogs are probably already there, keeping it warm for her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:10 AM

Suffice to say at the moment the Jeannette McBride (who fled Ireland as a mistress to one of the Wild Geese) was a good, good friend to various aristocrats, who for some poxy reason decided to turn her over to the Directoire. Her execution is claimed by Paris, Rouen, Les Trois Maries, Avignon, Arles, Cherbourg, Rheims, Condom, and Lourdes; there is no reason to doubt these claims.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:11 AM

Just ignore that last post of mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 11:27 AM

What last post?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM

HOWDY, Ma!

I yam enjoying the sweert cool morning air in beautiful Hillsboro, North Carolina, where they just about invented the fiddle and the bango. It is puredee beautiufl, and the food is world class, and the birds are singing in the ancient oaks. These are the lands where the Revolution was born, by a gang of two thousand farmers, before Lexington was even a spark in Paul Revere's eye. Mighty fine country, indeed. We had a jam last night that ran on until midnight with Abby Sales and a rich coterie of local suspects. Ya woulda been proud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM

Tarred and feathered in North Carolina. Poor, poor Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 02:12 PM

Word must have gotten out about his effete use of French words and phrases such as "mon petit bluette"...his ruffled collars and lace sleeves...his silk underwear...his preference for escargots and nutmeg latte'. North Carolinians can't tolerate that sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:46 PM

Tarheels will know how to deal with Amos if he swans too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:51 PM

Ah figgered that iffen he was up late he'd be plenty tarred.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 01:03 AM

Settin' up late by the far, so the smoke can keep the bugs away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM

Y'all need tolook up sensayewma. But, I been busy 'round here, picking up tunes and such, and Boberty hisself is coming down hyar this noontime to visit, and then a whole bunch of us are going over to Janies for supper, I am tole. And although I did get tahred from staying up late, I ain't heard no discussion about feathering. So I am marking all these snarky remarks up to pure-dee jalousy.


Thursday we head out to ebullient Mary's Lande. There we shall see some shindigs!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:11 AM

Ah'm gonna see Amos this Friday, God willin' and the crick don't rise. Anybody want me ta take him any messages? Mebbe things of encouragement, like "Keep on a-pickin', yer nose is too long anyway" er mebbe "The old man has pretty much forgot 'bout what you did to my sister, mostly" er "Don't worry cuz the fire didn't do all that much hurt ta yer house."

Jist let me know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:18 AM

Shindigs? You want I should kick you so hard I dig into your shins? No, I'm peaceful and modest and shy and retiring and quiet and wouldn't hurt a flea, much less a fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:06 PM

I wish Chongo could've made it down there to join you, folks, but he's working on a very important case right now....

(wait for it...)




































A case of imported whisky!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:08 PM

We don' wan' no steenkin' cheemps at Getaway! They gots fleas an' fling poop an' steenk! They are feelthy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:14 PM

Shut up, Paco!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 12:36 PM

You shut up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 12 - 11:26 PM

See? I am obeyed, man, OBEYED!!! Ich bein Der Mann!! Jawohl!!!

You can talk now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 12:23 AM

No way, man! I was out all day. You assume too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Frank Guerrero
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 09:19 AM

Shaddup evvyone who say shaddup!! Jeeze, you-all sound like a cathouse at midnight with da heat coming through the front door. 'Samaddah you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Balladette
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 09:31 AM

As the hours creep toward the bewitching chime
That marks the beginning of the Getaway
The skies above Idaho darken with the burden
Of carrying Rapparee east.
He flies, he lugs, he limps and moans
Complains the coffee is too thin
And demands extra allowances from all.
And they are freely granted, for
No-one wants to impede
The Majestic Advancer
As the force of Rapparreee
Descends upon the sleepy hinterlands of
Far Chesapeake.


Merriwether Goldfeinmiitbaum
Ghetto Rhythms from the West
Queens, 1967


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 09:44 AM

Tomorrow long before Dawn's rosy fingers touch the skies above the mighty Bannock and Wasatch Mountains, before the small birds awaken and make melody, before God Herself awakes, Rapparee shall be in a coach racing to the Salt Lake City Aerodrome. He has packed his black tie, his speedos, and all that is needed for a getaway to Getaway.

Mom, if I post not here until next Monday, remember that I forget you not nor any of the sibs. Amos and I shall raise a glass or six of water (it's a Methodist camp, after all) to you all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 10:26 AM

46,000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 11:04 AM

The arrival of a mighty crossing such as 46,000 is rather like the moment when one has ascended a long escarpment up a winding and arduous road and finally one reaches the summit. There is a brief, heartfelt pause, replete with a sense of awe and expectation. Then that final push over the crest of the hill...and the vast, eagle-like view of all that lies beyond it!

My father said it was the most dangerous moment when driving a scout tank, which was his job in the Second World War. It was the time when you were most likely to get sh


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