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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 07 Dec 12 - 10:04 PM
Amos 08 Dec 12 - 03:12 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 11:37 AM
Amos 08 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM
gnu 08 Dec 12 - 02:52 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 03:37 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 03:46 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 04:04 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 05:07 PM
gnu 08 Dec 12 - 05:20 PM
Acme 08 Dec 12 - 08:13 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 11:50 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM
Amos 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 12 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 12 - 09:42 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 12 - 10:09 AM
Rapparee 10 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 12 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM
Amos 12 Dec 12 - 11:40 AM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 01:19 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 03:34 PM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 03:36 PM
Amos 12 Dec 12 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Dec 12 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 10:08 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Dec 12 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 10:54 PM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 11:10 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 12 - 10:14 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 13 Dec 12 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 12 - 03:06 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 13 Dec 12 - 07:37 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 12 - 11:16 PM
Amos 14 Dec 12 - 12:25 AM
Acme 14 Dec 12 - 12:48 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 12 - 09:30 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 10:04 PM

The next true spinner number will be 60009. This, on the other hand, was the next even number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:12 AM

WHy should someone as uneven as Rapparee have any claim on an even number? I think he should be confined to odd numbers henceforth, for good and sufficient and self-evident reason.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 11:37 AM

Why were you up so late? Were you out carousing down near the docks again? Mom said that if you have another black eye you'll have to buy your own beefsteak this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM

It was a problem of cheesecake, not beefsteak. Anyway, it was just a scratch, and you shoulda seen da udder guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 02:52 PM

You beat up a cow on the docks? Cows are female bovines, BTW. But, I assume, in yer drunken state, down on the docks, late at night, well...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:37 PM

Amos has a naughty-cal background and, well, you know them sailors....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM

When he overdoses on Chai Latte' he goes totally wild.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:46 PM

Yeah, hanging around Starbucks and other low dives destroys what was once a promising youth. Now look at poor Amos! All grizzled up and bumming roaches off other gutter bums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 04:04 PM

I have a hard time connecting gutter bums with Starbucks for some reason... ;-) Starbucks is too expensive for the homeless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 05:07 PM

They snipe the trash cans and gutters for the dregs left in the cups. Kinda like Shame does at Tim's.

By the way, I have thus far cataloged 1,267 of my books. That's 298,266 pages, or an average of 245 pages per book. And I ain't done yet, not by a long shot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 05:20 PM

I have a copy, first printing!, of "A Long Shot". I must see if I can find it. I wrote it in 1984.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 08:13 PM

My youngest child is now back in town. We went from the airport to the kitchen and made a late lunch. He is wanting to learn how to cook because he apparently wants some control over what he gets to eat. Good for him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 11:50 PM

Very good. The very first thing I learned to cook was crepes (with sweet filling), because I felt that my mother wasn't making them nearly often enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM

He loves chicken strips, so that's what we made. I posted a YouTube video (not listed) with a demonstration, and we went through the tips today. I think he has this one nailed. Next we'll do chicken marsala.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM

Winter is just around the corner. MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders? Anyone bring back roadkill for that platform up in the pine out back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM

It's not around the corner here. It's in plain sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM

Around the corner on the calendar for you, around the corner on the weather forecast for us. It's cooling considerably this afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM

"MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders?"

Ahhh, same thing, innit?

Re winter....

Subject: RE: What's the weather like where you are?
From:gnu - PM
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM

45.5 down under? Well, I just rearranged the garages, placed the snowblower in my garage, serviced and gassed it, gassed the generator, put brooms and small shovels and scrapers in both weehicles, put large shovels near the doors of each garage and inside my house by the back door, bungee corded one large shovel to the railing at my back door, and parked my truck with the back of the cab in line with the front of my house.

It was clear and sunny and 4C this afternoon with a 40kph NW wind that died to nare a strip o wind two hours before dark! First NW this fall when it was less than 10C. I can smell it! New moon on the 13th... any time within the next 24 to 96 hours we will have our first "winter". It won't be bad but we will see the face of Old Man Winter. Miserable old git that he can be.

Now, I could be wrong but my old man taught me well... we'll see.

Freda... 45.5C? That is insufferable! My heart sweats for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM

You guys are kidding, right? Around the CORNER? We're suffering winter sunshine in all its full-on fury. It comes down from the skies, fills up the yards, bounces off the houses and into the streets. And COLD? Well, I swan. I had to wear a light jacket all morning!! ALL MORNING!! Can you BELIEVE that? Where's all that global warming now, wise guys? I didn't even want to go swimming today it was so frigid at the beach. I don't know what this world is coming to!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM

GO FISH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM

It's no wonder Chongo harbours resentment against you, Amos! Don't forget: He was born in sunny equatorial Africa. Now he must cope with the windy streets of Chicago in December.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 09:16 PM

Not for long, LH. Big Abner and the No. Side Apes are gonna let him experience the warm, caressing waters of Lake Michigan any day now.

"Mommy, Mommy! Amos took me swimming!"
"That's nice. Was it fun?"
"After I got out of the ropes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 09:42 PM

Oh, yes. It was 18F (-7.78C for you unAmericans) with a dusting of snow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 11:00 PM

LH, is this a friend of yours?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 10:09 AM

That's Chonga's latest girlfriend. He thinks she's "just as cute as a button."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM

It was so cold this morning up in the hills that the elk hunters all came back. They'd shoot at an elk with a bow or a rifle and the arrow or bullet would freeze in its flight. Come Spring I think I'll wait for a couple of warm weeks before hiking around, because when the thaw hits it's gonna be like a shooting gallery up there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 08:11 PM

Yeah, that's been quite a sensation around here, Stilly. No, I don't know her. I don't think Chongo does either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 04:15 PM

For goodness' sake, Mom! Hanging out second from the very bottom with custard apples! Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 07:20 PM

Here, Mom. Have some refreshment...lemonade with just a touch of vodka.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 10:35 PM

Or it could be the other way around. The Stoli bottle seems awfully empty for one I just opened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM

See, Mom? It's 12/12/12 -- triple double boxcars -- and I'm the only one who cares.

Leave me all your money and stuff, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 11:40 AM

It's actually 12/12/2012,wise guy. It hasn't been 12/12/12 for two thousand years.

On the ACTUAL 12/12/12, the carpenter kiddy was hanging out and laying down licks on the fat cats at the money tables outside Temple. They got entirely jazzed up, and he told his Mom not to bug him on account he was doing it for Dad.

But that was long ago, very far away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 01:19 PM

You can still enjoy the 12:12:12 on 12/12/12 on the west coast. I wasn't paying attention and it went past already. I am crushed. Crushed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:33 PM

Chin up, Stilly old girl! Pip, pip and all that! Next year you can claim 11/12/13 at 11:12:13 Zulu, AST, EST, CST, MST, PST, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:34 PM

In fact, on the 24-hour clock you can claim 11/12/13 at 14:15:16.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:36 PM

Good idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 08:22 PM

For a guy who is still in his first childhood, he's pretty bright, him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 09:51 PM

He's got his faults, but at least he don't go around denyin' another individual's existence. Not like some I could mention.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 10:08 PM

Of course I don't. I am, after all, the reason for everyone's existence. Sheesh, don't you guys EVER learn?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 10:26 PM

I just let you think that, Rap, cos I know it makes you happy. That is what a nice guy I am.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 10:54 PM

Chonga, it's me all the way down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 11:10 PM

I plugged an oil radiator heater into a thermal plug out in the greenhouse. It has two sockets, so on the other one I plugged in the string of LED xmas lights that I put up last year. This way if it gets cold enough that the thermal plug turns on the heater I can tell because the lights will be on.

It isn't a gro-light glow, so I don't think the sheriff will stop by to see what I'm growing out there. (Basil, broccoli and onions.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 10:14 AM

Yes, right, sure.

Just turn around while we put these cuffs on you.

    You have the right to remain silent.
    Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law.
    You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.
    If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish.
    If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney.
    Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?

Basil is a herb, right? And we all know about "herb." Lady, you're goin' down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 02:55 PM

I also let you keep callin' me "Chonga", Rap, coz I am merciful, and I know it makes you happy. I could squash you like a bug and wipe out all yer seed from the Earth for callin' me "Chonga", but I don't. I gotta be about the nicest deity one could possibly ask for.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 03:06 PM

And the lowest, scummiest one I ever thought up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 07:37 PM

I'd say the same about you...but I'm way too nice to do that. Ook! Ook! ;-D Didja know that the Holy Sisters around here say real good things about me all the time, and speak of me as "a saint"? I am known far and wide for my selfless contributions to charity, my protectin' of the weak, my metin' out of dire punishments to the wicked and cruel, and all that kinda good stuff. The main reason I ain't been canonized, in fact, is cos I wrote the Pope a pre-emptive letter askin' not to be singled out in that fashion, cos I prefer just seein' the happy smiles on the faces of the widows and the homeless I have assisted, and I am way too modest to seek personal glory in public honors.

- Chongo

p.s. This is why Amos really hates me. He knows I'm just basically a lot nicer than him. Boy, does that ever stick in his craw!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 11:16 PM

You mean like the mother and sister you deserted and forced into a Life Of Shame? The only time you ever assisted anyone was to boost a drunk's watch and wallet and, while you were at it, his pants. You did indeed help a homeless fella kill off his bottle of Thunderbird once, and widows seem to like you really well when you're nowhere around. And I've spoken with the Pope (Benny's a good friend of mine) and he assures me that you will not be canonized -- ever. Truth to be told, he's thinking of declaring you the Eighth Deadly Sin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 12:25 AM

Man, I dropped by Chinga's place for a quick drink one night passing through Detroit City. You shoulda heard then names that started coming out of her mouth when Chongo was mentioned. They were the kind of words that even if he HAD been real he woulda wished he weren't. I strongly suggest, LH, that you do NTO imagine Congo or Conga or whatever is imaginary name is going into Detroit. She's likely to castrate him with his own front teet after she pulls them out of his head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 12:48 AM

You heard about Basil, eh? And Herb? I suppose I will run a-fowl of the law. Deliciously so . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 09:30 AM

Poor Mom. To know that Stilly gets her two kids out of the house and takes up with two guys named Basil and Herb. Mom'll just DIE of shame, not having thought of it first.


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