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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 10 Oct 07 - 04:27 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 07 - 09:18 PM
Acme 11 Oct 07 - 12:06 AM
MMario 11 Oct 07 - 08:44 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 07 - 08:48 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 07 - 09:13 AM
MMario 11 Oct 07 - 09:16 AM
Amos 11 Oct 07 - 10:13 AM
MMario 11 Oct 07 - 10:21 AM
Acme 11 Oct 07 - 11:09 AM
Amos 11 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM
Amos 11 Oct 07 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 07 - 06:37 PM
Amos 11 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 07 - 08:37 PM
Amos 11 Oct 07 - 08:51 PM
Acme 12 Oct 07 - 12:26 AM
Rapparee 12 Oct 07 - 09:01 AM
MMario 12 Oct 07 - 09:06 AM
Amos 12 Oct 07 - 09:10 AM
Amos 12 Oct 07 - 09:47 AM
MMario 12 Oct 07 - 09:55 AM
Acme 12 Oct 07 - 10:51 AM
Amos 12 Oct 07 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 12 Oct 07 - 08:46 PM
Amos 12 Oct 07 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 07 - 09:27 PM
Amos 13 Oct 07 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 08:10 AM
Amos 13 Oct 07 - 10:28 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 10:58 AM
Acme 13 Oct 07 - 01:11 PM
Amos 13 Oct 07 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 02:43 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 09:18 PM
Acme 13 Oct 07 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 07 - 10:50 PM
Amos 14 Oct 07 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 07 - 02:45 PM
Amos 14 Oct 07 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 07 - 09:44 PM
Amos 14 Oct 07 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 07 - 08:58 AM
Amos 15 Oct 07 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 15 Oct 07 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 07 - 12:51 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 07 - 04:27 PM

...except that there is an old Blue Law that prohibits the taking of Elke while the animal is "wythinne the Boundes of a Golffe Course namede as Such in ye Citye Recordes." Back then it was considered unsportsmanlike. Nobody of course thought to do anything about the shooting of trees in cold blood on the same golf course.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 07 - 09:18 PM

Actually, City Ordinance 321.189 (revised April, 1993) reads in part:

It shall be illegal and punishable with sentence no less than sixty (6) days in the county jail and a fine of no less than five thousand dollars ($5,000.00) to hunt or take by any method any golf living in a wild state within the city limits of Pocatello (as they shall from time to time be revised) unless said golf has been adjudged to be dangerous to life and/or property and a predation license issued by the Police Department to the nearest property owner of record, who must use a firearm of no less than one-half inch (0.50 inch) caliber or a longbow having a draw weight of no less than one hundred twenty-five pounds (125 pounds) propelling an arrow having a tip of at least four (4) cutting surfaces.

It is, however, permissible to have a shootout on Main Street at High Noon, provided you obtain the necessary variances from the City Council.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 12:06 AM

I prefer moose. Are there any available?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 08:44 AM

Great Gallopping Ghosties! All that frepower for a golf?

A wee bit of overkill, isn't it? Or do golves in Pocatello run larger then the norm?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 08:48 AM

Actually, yes. And they have been known to wander down into town. When that happens the Fish & Game people are usually called, the moose is tranked and relocated. A calf moose got stuck in a basement window late last Fall, in fact; F&G had a devil of a time working that one out!

There are also cougar, black bear, whitetail deer, mule deer, and lots and lots of horses and cattle.

Out here, cattle are sometimes called "slow elk" by some who consider themselves hunters. This is usually done in a courtroom just before sentencing, and thirty days plus probation plus a fine plus reparations plus loss of hunting privileges plus loss of everything involved with the "hunt" is still preferable to how the ranchers USED to deal with thos who hunted "slow elk." Something about a tree and a lariat, if I remember correctly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 09:13 AM

Regarding the golves: In the wild they are extremely vicious little critters, standing on the average about 18 hands high and 8 across the withers. Their teeth, off which they have sixteen rows top and 18 to 22 bottom, vary in length from six to sixteen inches; the hollow down the middle is a channel for the hemoneurotoxin secreted from the poison sac located just behind what passes for their brain (the sac holds slightly over two liters of poison). They are covered with little dimples which, when the beastie is angered, become filled with extremely sharp spines tipped with barbed points; each spine is filled with a kerosene-like substance that spills out and ignites when the spine is torn loose and embedded in the victim. They move by rolling along, sometimes reaching speeds of forty or more miles per hour, and have been known to "hop" from place to place. These hops can cover over 300 meters, and are usually used as a form of surprise attack -- the animal screams just before it lands on its victim and if you hear "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" you best defend yourself from the attacking golf. You won't be able to do so, but you can try -- one chap, back in 1897, managed to fend one off for six seconds. He died horribly, of course, but the record still stands.

Golves kill everything they touch. If you're in The West and you see an area of scrub and sagebrush you can bet that it's just now recovering from the passage of a herd of golves, perhaps as along as a century ago.

They do make good and faithful pets, and they're wonderful with children. It's the wild ones that are a problem, and those that turn feral, and those that suddenly lose their domestication.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 09:16 AM

You're not letting Gluon anywhere near those thigs, are you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:13 AM

According to some theories, he was descended fro feral golves on his father's side.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:21 AM

and probably from australian killer ducks on the other - but GLUON is not feral.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 11:09 AM

About those meeses:

the moose is tranked and relocated.

Thank goodness they trank them! My mind is at ease now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM

Likewise with feral golves. They have to trank them or they won't hold still for the driver. The technique for golves is a bit different, though, because they have atypical nervous systems; they are "tranked" by Argyle and some other specific frequencies of Plaid. So you see, there's a method to the sartorial madness seen in their usual hunting grounds.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM

Yes, the permit the police give you is called a "Driver's License."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 06:07 PM

Rapaire is so bright, I am going to enter his name as a candidate on the "BS: Replacements for incandescent lights" thread.

He is a veritable neon-con.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 06:37 PM

Aw, shucks, Amos. I hate to say, it but my momma used to call me "Sun" cuz I wuz so bright.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM

Hmmm...as bright as that, huh? Wow.

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 08:37 PM

Ha! This puts me one up on Amos in the science news category! (How many teeth do YOU have?)

Tooth loss may predict the development of dementia late in life, according to research published in the October issue of The Journal of the American Dental Association.

Numerous past studies have shown that patients with dementia are more likely than patients without the condition to have poor oral health. Few researchers, however, have examined the relationship from the opposite direction, to determine whether poor oral health actually may contribute to the development of dementia.

To that end, researchers from the University of Kentucky College of Medicine and College of Dentistry, Lexington, studied data from 144 participants in the Nun Study, a study of aging and Alzheimer's disease among Catholic sisters of the School Sisters of Notre Dame. The researchers used dental records and results of annual cognitive examinations to study participants from the order's Milwaukee province who were 75 to 98 years old.

"Of the participants who did not have dementia at the first examination, those with few teeth (zero to nine) had an increased risk of developing dementia during the study compared with those who had 10 or more teeth," the authors write.

They propose several possible reasons for the association between tooth loss and dementia: not only periodontal disease but also early-life nutritional deficiencies, infections or chronic diseases that may result simultaneously in tooth loss and damage to the brain.

However, they note, whether the tooth loss has any real role in bringing about the dementia is impossible to say on the basis of this study. "It is not clear from our findings whether the association is causal or casual," they write, urging further study.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 07 - 08:51 PM

I have all my teeth. Some I grew, and some were boughten. But they're all mine, you hear me???? MINE!!! Mwahahahahaha,,,,

As for dementia, well, I don't hold with it.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 12:26 AM

So, Amos, you gonna buy that house to use as a hunting lodge during the golve hunting season? And if you end up with any moose meat (you have to be able to supply the tag numbers of the vehicle that hit it to assure freshness) I'd like to place an order for some ground meat. (It's wonderful in tacos).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:01 AM

What a great idea! Amos could use it as a hunting lodge! I can see it now: the gun room, paneled in aged oak, filled with Holland and Holland double rifles, Merkel shotguns, and big game trophies; the billiards room; the rustic, yet luxurious, bedrooms; the servants quarters; the wretched hovels of the beaters and ghillies; the kennels with their mastiffs and wolfhounds; the wine cellar filled with fine vintages; the cognac, brandy and scots whisky sitting on the sideboard in decanters cut from single rock crystals....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:06 AM

What I'd like to know is what is the ecological impact of a Golf Course on the Ilk of the region? Especially on the rather rare and local species - the Legion Ilk. One must admit that one does not find Ilk of the Legion kind at any great distance from Pocatello.

Well, I will admit I would also like to know why a hunting ground for golves is a "course" rather then a preserve, or some other term. Is it because they are sight hunters like coursing hounds, rather then scent hunters?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:10 AM

There are small clusters of that Ilk in almost every large city, MM. But you have to know where to look. What worries me about Rapaire is that he obviously knows all too well.

I love the hunting lodge. Set it up, I'll take it.

Do you have to pay grounds fees to the golf course to hunt golves across their land?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:47 AM

In other news, SETI marches on:

'it a small step for E.T., a leap for radio astronomy.

Astronomers in Hat Creek, Calif., are planning today to switch on the first elements of a giant new array of radio telescopes that they say will greatly extend the investigation of natural and unnatural phenomena in the universe.

When the Allen Telescope Array, as it is known, is complete, it will consist of 350 antennas, each 20 feet in diameter. Using the separate antennas as if they were one giant dish, radio astronomers will be able to map vast swaths of the sky cheaply and efficiently.

The array will help search for new phenomena like black holes eating each other and so-called dark galaxies without stars, as well as extend the search for extraterrestrial radio signals a thousandfold, to include a million nearby stars over the next two decades.

Today, 42 of the antennas, mass-produced from molds and employing inexpensive telecommunications technology, will go into operation. "It's like cutting the ribbon on the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria," said Seth Shostak, an astronomer at the Seti Institute, in Mountain View, Calif., who pointed out that this was the first radio telescope ever designed specifically for the extraterrestrial quest.

The telescope, named for Paul G. Allen, who provided $25 million in seed money, is a joint project of the Radio Astronomy Laboratory of the University of California, Berkeley, and the Seti Institute. "If they do find something, they're going to call me up first and say we have a signal," Mr. Allen said in an interview, adding, "So far the phone hasn't rung."

Describing himself as "a child of the 50s, the golden age of space exploration and science fiction," Mr. Allen, a founder of Microsoft, said he first got interested in supporting the search for extraterrestrial intelligence after a conversation 12 years ago with Carl Sagan, the Cornell astronomer and exuberant proponent of cosmic wonder.

When the idea later arose to build a telescope array on the cheap, using off-the-shelf satellite dish technology and advanced digital signal processing, Mr. Allen was intrigued. "If you know anything about me," he said, "you know I'm a real enthusiast for new unconventional approaches to things."




I dunno. I think we should intensify the search for intelligent life on Earth, first.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:55 AM

Rather an invasion of privacy, isn't it?

search for new phenomena like black holes eating each other and so-called dark galaxies without stars

I mean, truthfully - what two consenting black holes do with each other is their business, isn't it? And why should a galxy be "dark" just because it's members decide that no one should hog the limelight as a "star"?

What business is it of ours? And to tap into private conversations between aliens? I mean really!

Does SETI have a warrant for this?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 10:51 AM

It's unwarranted, Leo.

Hunting golves on that course reserve (administered by a university library) is unrecognized by the folks who chase their balls around on the turf. Best not to call the larger aspect of this property management to their attention. They're the window dressing.

Aldo Leopold had a footnote in his Game Management textbook that covers this. He took the long view on these things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 10:57 AM

Chasing one's balls around reminds me of the old ballad about the Chinese sage, in days of yore, who a most handsome pigtail wore; but pondered much, and worried more, because it hung behind him.

He ends up running around in circles trying to get the damn thing to hang in front.

Reminds me of some golfers I have known.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:46 PM

Tomorrow. The party starts tomorrow. I will be on radio and television and in the movies and I'll probably win an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nobel and........AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:21 PM

Either Rapaire was chasing (see previous post) or you just heard the cruel sound of reality catching up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:27 PM

That reminds me -- I promised I bring a pound of gunpowder to the party. 2F, to be precise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 01:32 AM

I just gpt back from the party.

Our new driveway is BEAUTIFUL!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 08:10 AM

Would a pound of gunpowder help it along?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 10:28 AM

Not one stone shalt thou touch, varlet.

What party do you have today, sir?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 10:56 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 10:58 AM

Look, Oh Unaware One, here, click upon "Centennial Celebration," and be enlightened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 01:11 PM

This was the one I planned that great road trip for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 01:33 PM

Well I hope your attiude to those who do make is a little less condescending and sardonic than your last post was, Rapaire. Otherwise they will be rededicating your cornerstone with you inside it.

Fortunately for the repute of the MPL, and the putative esteem in which its director is held locally, I shall not be able to make the celebration, where I might be tempted to let the cat out of the bag.

You do have a cat in a bag, as part of the celebration, don't you?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 02:43 PM

No, but we have cannonfire and a gunfight scheduled -- as well as fiddling and Indian Dancing and Greek damsels dancing and other stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 08:44 PM

It's over, at least until Tuesday afternoon. There were about 700 people who attended. A good time was, I hope, had by all -- in spite of 60 degree weather and early drizzle.

You really should have been there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 09:16 PM

Some stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 09:18 PM

More stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 10:34 PM

From that second link:

Tuesday afternoon, a dedication ceremony will be held at the library.

The cornerstone was laid on October 16th, 2007.


Today is October 13, 2007. Either "was" is a poor choice of words or there is a typo. Maybe 1907? Are you still on the same site, same building, for the last 100 years?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 10:50 PM

No, it was definitely possibly laid maybe on October 16, 1907. Senator James Brady may have spoken at the original event, and we're pretty sure the stone was perhaps cemented into place by the Masons in a silver trowel ceremony. I wanted to get James Brady to speak, but I couldn't dig him up and the cemetery was decidedly unhelpful in it. So I've settled on having
Minnie Howard come talk -- after all, she convinced Carnegie to give the money, the town to back the effort, and the city council to support the library (you didn't cross Doctor Minnie!).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 07 - 11:13 AM

A man came to dinner who had recently been on several adventures, driving from Tangiers to Cairo along the northern rim of Africa, going to Pamplona to run with the bulls, and going on a hunting safari in Kenya with a Ruark type of guide. He shot the camp's dinner from the huge herds of gallivanting springboks and other gazelles.

Near the end of the safari the guide told him there was an old bull elephant who should be put down, due to his advanced age, known to be in a certain area, and that the guide had one elephant on his license -- so would he like to go for this one? M. had always wanted a pair of great tusks to put over the door of his den at home. So they went into the wild in search of this kingly elephant, and for four days they slept in trees, and walked the earth in their quest. And they found the elephant.

They approached him, Indian style, with great caution, and very slowly, until they were only forty yards away from him. The elephant had enormous, ancient tusks. He was dozing, standing up, under a tree, and M., carefully instructed by the guide where to place his shot, moved into position with his magnificent .500 Holland and Holland.

He told us, "And I aimed carefully, and then I said "Bang". I just couldn't do it. I had tears in my eyes."

We applauded him for sparing the old elephant.

The elephant, being of great age, will be taken, some day, by another man, or he will be brought down by leopards. But M. will live on, for a while, burnished by the karma of the remarkable moment when he aimed and said "Bang!".

A

And here is a collection of the most wonderful film images ever recorded, by Chuck Workman, for your viewing pleasure.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 07 - 02:45 PM

It is said that you truly become worthy of the title "Hunter" when you can kill the animal and, because you don't need the meat or simply because of something about the animal, you don't.

I know several Hunters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 07 - 09:31 PM

Better than being a Hunted, to be sure.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 07 - 09:44 PM

You've reached a level of maturity when you realize that just because you can doesn't mean you should.

And you've realized a certain level of marital maturity when you realize that you'd bloody well better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 07 - 11:38 PM

How now, Fayre Momme? Wilt falle to the Lower Chakra of darkness and disorder? Say not so, but rise up with me, here, to your natural home at the top of all posts, the crowning glory of all threads.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 08:58 AM

And let ME return you to your proper pinnacle of glory today! (As you and I know, Amos is easily distracted these days, what with the flashbacks and everything. If he would ONLY take his meds!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 10:03 AM

Seems to me, Goode Rapaire, that Momme is lucky to have to strapping young loudmouths like ourselves to help her along, and there is no need for either of us to invent whole-cloth fictitious slurs about the other.

I never told Mom about you and the Great Dane; I was a gentleman about helping you clean up after that "bachelor stag party" thing, and sneak your befouled dress shirt into the laundry when Mom wasn't looking. I never mentioned a word to her about the time Sally Leonski missed her period for two weeks and how scared you were. And who smuggled Patty Wallworth's bra out of your bedroom for you when Mom was coming in to make the bed?


So gimme a break here, bro.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 12:42 PM

2,407 people inside on Saturday according to actual count. Another couple hundred outside who never came inside, by estimate. 18 couples chased out of the bushes by irate parents, 3 (so far) conceptions, no fights that amounted to anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 12:51 PM

STILL off the med, huh Amos? You know darned good and well that I was an altar boy from the age of 8 until I left high school and then I went directly into the Army where they wouldn't allow such things. After that I went into the Seminary and only left because the rector caught me with Dolores O'Shaugnessy in my cell Mom was ill and needed constant nursing care and you were out carousing all day and night (yes, yes, I know you were the Carousal Critic for the newspaper, but still!).


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