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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 02 Sep 09 - 12:05 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 09 - 01:11 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 01:41 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 09 - 02:20 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 02:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 09 - 03:17 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 03:27 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 09 - 03:27 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 04:07 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 04:14 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 09 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 09 - 05:27 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 05:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Sep 09 - 06:48 PM
John Hardly 02 Sep 09 - 08:23 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 09 - 08:37 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 08:51 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 09 - 09:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Sep 09 - 09:22 PM
John Hardly 02 Sep 09 - 09:40 PM
Amos 02 Sep 09 - 10:48 PM
Acme 02 Sep 09 - 11:51 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 06:33 AM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 10:06 AM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 10:18 AM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 10:34 AM
Acme 03 Sep 09 - 11:04 AM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 11:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 01:47 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 01:48 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 03:33 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 03:50 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM
MMario 03 Sep 09 - 04:02 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 09 - 09:31 PM
Amos 03 Sep 09 - 10:31 PM
Acme 03 Sep 09 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 09:24 AM
Acme 04 Sep 09 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 09:49 AM
Amos 04 Sep 09 - 10:08 AM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 09 - 10:29 AM
Amos 04 Sep 09 - 11:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Sep 09 - 03:37 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 12:05 PM

If I sit down next to the back door with a pair of socks and shoes my dogs get all excited because it means we're going for a walk! The pit bull does math, you see. If I have a hat, socks, shoes, and my phone in my hand she KNOWS we're going to exit the yard! Yes! Her tail wags in a complete circle, the dog hunkers down, woofs at me through the glass, and absolutely smiles as she wags, and then she runs over to Poppy and licks her face up and down to transmit the pit bull joy at the imminent walk.

Socks mean a lot to my dogs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 01:11 PM

Oh. One more reason for the socks. There are a LOT of mosquitoes around here. If you go outside with sandals sans socks...the little fiends start biting your feet like crazy! The socks tend to make it a lot more difficult for them to do that. I have saved myself hundreds of mosquito bites this spring and summer by wearing socks with my sandals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 01:41 PM

I think you are altogether too precious, LH. Any skeeter tried to bite my ankles would find himself with a bent schnozzle. SOcks are all well and good, but if you are going to wear them, wear sneakers (trainers).


HEY!! MOM!!! I just passeed Budgetary Authority for the Getaway this year!! YEEE haawwww. And all that!!! Whyn't y'all come too?????



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 02:20 PM

Because I play the bazooka and I can't bring my instrument with me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 02:57 PM

Fiddle-faddle. I am sure someone from Maryland will lend you one. There areplenty of psychos nice people on the East Coast if you only ask.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 03:17 PM

It takes a 3.5 inch diameter mouthpiece, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 03:27 PM

Well, I am sure you can handle that. No more excuses, you silly boyo.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 03:27 PM

You clearly have no idea what it's like here with mosquitoes, Amos. I kill hundreds of them that are going after my exposed wrists, hands, face, and neck when I'm outside. I sure as hell don't want to be bending down every five seconds to kill even more of them on my feet and ankles. How would I get anything done? I have killed more mosquitoes by now, sir, than you have ever even thought of.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 04:07 PM

That's as may be, sir; but I cannot say it speaks to your good sense to choose to live among such a nuisance population. I have lived among them, when I was mining for gold in the hills above Placerville, and we had plenty in the Maine woods when I was younger; but I learned there is a sensible choice to it, you see--not to stay among them!

Why would you want to live somewhere where the environment imposes such a poor fashion decision on you? Horrors. Come to your senses, I implore you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 04:14 PM

That was 31113, a fine twirling number.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 04:15 PM

It's true, Amos, that if I was living in Toronto, say...the mosquitoes would not be very bad at all. Or if I was living in the downtown area of Orillia. But I am living out in the country here with an extensive area of forest just behind the house, and lots of trees and cover which mosquitoes like.

It's worth it, though. I like being out here. Though I must contend with the mosquitoes, I also have lots of space, peace and quiet, light traffic, and a generally beautiful environment all around me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 05:27 PM

I haven't been bothered with skeeters since I moved to Idaho. Sure, they're around, but just not around me and that's the way I like it. Nothing like sitting out on the back deck of an evening, watching the golfers playing with their balls, sipping a cool drink....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 05:35 PM

There are no skeeters to mention on the banks of the Wst River during the Getaway. I think. None I have noticed. Could be the whiskeyed blood leaves them disinclined to fly much.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 06:48 PM

I would love to come to that Getaway thang, but it happens during the peak of the Fall art fair season. Gotta make enough $$$ in October and November to get by until March. Why don't they have it in June when I'm doing nothing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:23 PM

You gonna be doing Great Gulf Coast?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:30 PM

John Hardly:

Welcome to the MOAB; it is a rare treat to see your name in these hallowed halls.

BeeDub:

They hafta wait until the rascals are back in school before they can sneal off and party.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:37 PM

Rapaire! Look at your danged PMs, would you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:51 PM

Oh, for fie!! You are ganging up, aren't you?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 09:21 PM

I did. I answered you two days ago, and I just answered you again. I'm polite and neat and just an all-around swell sort of guy, the sort you don't meet every day because there are so very few of us left.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 09:22 PM

Hey, John....

Nah, we don't do the GGAF. We do a show called Homestead Hollow near Birmingham that weekend. It's one of those rural things sorta like Amish Acres. It's mostly crafts, not art, but we do very well there.

Our big fall show on Pensacola is the Pensacola Seafood Festival. It's held in the same park as the GGAF, in late September. After three days of that crowd, I don't even wanna see that park for a few months.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 09:40 PM

Well, I'm coming down this year to give it a shot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 10:48 PM

If you'e done by 1 October, John, swing over to Maryland's West River shore.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 11:51 PM

You two pot heads gonna meet in a park? Don't let the cops catch you. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 06:33 AM

Do what Shane and his buddies do. Meet behind the dumpster at the local Tim Horton's. Station a lookout in the parking lot to watch for "the fuzz".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM

If you see a blond named Cuddlee, she fits her form really well and she'll fit yours, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:06 AM

Cuddlee Smith?   I dated her in junior high when her form was just beginning to fit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:18 AM

31 1 31

So!

You zee?

It is self-evident, no?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:34 AM

It would have been even better if it were 31 1 13 .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:04 AM

Spinners! What are they good for? You poke them in the lawn to scare off moles. We haven't seen a mole around MOM's yard in years now. Gotta find a new use for them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:31 AM

"We haven't seen a mole around MOM's yard in years now."

What more proof do you want? Geez! My advice is, keep those spinners right where they are. You'd be up to your eyeballs in moles by now if you hadn't installed those spinners.

I have a friend who wears elephant repellant for much the same reason. He heard that elephants sometimes will run amok and trample people, so he is prepared at all times. It has worked magnificently. He hasn't seen an elephant once in the last 10 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM

No, Stilly, John and I won't be meeting in the park. I'll be there the last weekend in September. John will be there the first weekend in November. I'll be in the Alabama mountains while John's in Pensacola. We'll both be on Interstate 65 at about the same time, but we'll be headed in opposite directions. Maybe we can stop and play a few tunes in the median?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM

Besides, sleepy-head, I already CLAIMED 31 1 13. Don't you remember?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 01:47 PM

Awake, awake you sleepy sons of Mom!
Cast off your dull conviction and aplomb!
Shed all the habits of your daily stress
And give yourself to Mom, and to BS!!

Throw off the chains of ordinary datum,
And if you need some data, why create 'em!
The weight of common sense, too, cast away
And with the MOAB crew give o'er to play!!

Gandolvius Magister III
Ditties for Halfwits
Alice Springs, 1949


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 01:48 PM

If a young lady's measurements were 31 1 13 wouldn't she fall forward a lot? Digestion might also be a problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 03:33 PM

DEATH COMING AT 50 MILES PER SECOND!!

I have hesitated to post this information because of the panic that will probably ensue, but the Andromeda galaxy has been found to be a "cannibal", sucking into it the stars of the galaxies it passes by or through in its journey through the universe.

Our Milky Way galaxy is heading directly for it at 50 miles per second (180,000 miles per hour!).

The collision is, at this point, unavoidable. Unless, of course, WE do something. If you have any suggestions on how to avert this coming wreck, please post them here. NASA (as well as the NSA, CIA, and other government agencies) read MOAB religiously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM

Are you under the impression, Amos, that I faithfully memorize all your past triumphant snaggings of various (supposedly) significantly-numbered posts on this thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 03:50 PM

Rapaire,

The Andromeda nebula is about 2.5 million light years away from our system. That's roughly 14,696,249,535,689,700,000,000 miles. At 180,000 miles per hour, the intersection will occur in 9.4497 x10^8 years from now. Almost a thousand million years.

Chill, dude.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM

The Andromeda Masters are accelerating their rate of closure and the gravitational pull of our beloved galaxy will further accelerate the Andromedans!

Amos, we MUST act before it is too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 04:02 PM

MOM will probably be around to watch. YOu know how she likes those disaster shows on TV, train wrecks, auto smash-ups that sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 04:51 PM

Aw, Rapaire, gimme a call in 9.4x10^7 years and we'll work something out.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 09:31 PM

Well, I've just returned from the Legion Hovel and THEY are taking this seriously even if Amos is not. Fire-In-The-Hole Hollis and Randy Randy and some of the other oldtimers are gonna take that old French 75 they got and point it in the direction opposite to what we're goin' and try to slow this whole thing down by shootin' it off. They figger the recoil will do it. Mind you, that's only until they get the ion warp engine up and working and for that they need more beer for fuel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:31 PM

Okay, okay, you wanna make an emergency outta the whole thing, I'll play along. Call me in 9.4x10^6 years and I'll have a solution all ready for you well in advance of need.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 10:46 PM

While it might be too noisy to play a few tunes on the median, perhaps you two can agree to pull over at the same rest area, preferably one with good acoustics in the men's room? If you chose to stop at a rest area just entering one of the states then they might have a welcome center lobby where you could set out your guitar cases and sing and play; do a little busking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:24 AM

Will that involve them taking off their clothes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:46 AM

That would be an individual choice. It would probably increase the take in busking, but the session would probably finish abruptly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:49 AM

Well, as long as they weren't selling any pot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:08 AM

LH:

Jeeze, we're talking about 18 posts here!! That's short-term memory!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:29 AM

Heh! Heh! Well, yes, but I'm a very busy man. You must remember that. I have a large number of personas to attend to and sustain, and they all have busy lives full of drama and intrigue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 11:41 AM

I assure you, I have not lost sight of your multi-personality syndrome, sir.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 03:37 PM

Hi, Mom! I just made a grilled cheese sandwich. When I looked at it closely, it looked like bread that had been lightly singed. No picture of Jesus, Mary, Lassie, or anyone. I was quite surprised! I thought grilled cheese sandwiches were supposed to have faces on them.


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