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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 18 Feb 14 - 08:00 AM
Rapparee 18 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM
Acme 18 Feb 14 - 09:35 AM
gnu 18 Feb 14 - 11:36 AM
Ebbie 18 Feb 14 - 05:22 PM
Amos 18 Feb 14 - 07:36 PM
Ebbie 18 Feb 14 - 08:06 PM
gnu 18 Feb 14 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 18 Feb 14 - 10:02 PM
Ebbie 19 Feb 14 - 01:44 AM
gnu 19 Feb 14 - 07:39 AM
Acme 19 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 14 - 10:05 AM
Pete Jennings 19 Feb 14 - 10:19 AM
Amos 19 Feb 14 - 12:48 PM
gnu 19 Feb 14 - 07:32 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 14 - 10:32 PM
Amos 20 Feb 14 - 12:30 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 14 - 09:58 AM
Pete Jennings 20 Feb 14 - 01:14 PM
Acme 20 Feb 14 - 01:55 PM
gnu 20 Feb 14 - 04:09 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 14 - 06:13 PM
gnu 20 Feb 14 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 14 - 11:55 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 06:18 AM
Pete Jennings 21 Feb 14 - 06:21 AM
Rapparee 21 Feb 14 - 11:25 AM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 12:02 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 12:15 PM
Acme 21 Feb 14 - 05:39 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 06:40 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 14 - 11:28 PM
Amos 22 Feb 14 - 12:20 AM
gnu 22 Feb 14 - 05:58 AM
Acme 22 Feb 14 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 14 - 09:40 PM
Amos 23 Feb 14 - 04:30 AM
Pete Jennings 23 Feb 14 - 07:01 AM
Amos 23 Feb 14 - 11:00 AM
Acme 23 Feb 14 - 12:37 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 14 - 02:03 PM
gnu 23 Feb 14 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 14 - 08:22 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 14 - 08:33 PM
GUEST 23 Feb 14 - 09:58 PM
GUEST 24 Feb 14 - 09:13 AM
Pete Jennings 24 Feb 14 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 14 - 10:47 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 08:00 AM

m proved it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM

If you have MY word you need nothing more!

And speaking of nothing, it was a madhouse at the Legion Hovel last evening. The annual Golden Spite Dinner was held. This event celebrates the Coming Of The Railroads To Idaho, but the original sings were spelled wrong and since they're perfectly fine after 90+ years they're just reused. Anyway, the Sergeant Of The Guard attempted to remove Boulder Ferguson, who was trying to improve the aim of his chewin' terbacky spittin'. Boulder was getting pretty good and didn't take kindly to Samuel Olivia Branson trying to shove a large cork in his mouth. Comments about the "SOB the SOB SOG" were beginning to be made, and a FULL keg of beer was thrown through the wall as I was ducking and weaving out of there.

I expect there will be police reports in the newspaper this morning. There usually are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 09:35 AM

I saw Jean, what I can't open is the CBC site he linked to earlier that he then implored us to watch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 11:36 AM

AHA! I guess my ESP was malfunctioning. Or thrown off by your YT comment. Yes, I know you mentioned the CBC but I assumed, in my early morning state of mind, you... yeah, I shoulda caught on. Thanks. It's quite a setup they have. I can watch any olympic event live or pod. I assume y'all have an equivalent in the US.

That way, ya can watch CAN b USA in men's hockey on Friday.

Nope. Not a typo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 05:22 PM

Something to anticipate: Who is going to get thread #55555? At the rate the Mother travels it won't take long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 07:36 PM

I shall lay claim to it with a series of well-timed, flawlessly crafted quatrains of BS Doggerel, tweaking the idiosyncratic flaws of the personalities of several well-known MOABites.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 08:06 PM

I have no discernable flaws.











:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 09:14 PM

I can vouch for that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 10:02 PM

When I was young and growing up, we were very poor. At that time I had several discernible flaws, but we sold them to help make ends meet. As the ends we were trying to meet were part of a Mobius strip, we were never able to do so.

Be that as it may...I have news of some import, at least to myself. On March 19 I shall undergo pain and suffering, as I shall have a partial knee replacement then (a/k/a an unicompartmental artho...never mind). Yes, they are again going to cut into me and this time will replace the material removed with metals and plastics and glues and screws. The removed material will, of course, be flash frozen and flown to the Secret US Genetic Reserve, where The Government is keeping all bodily materials removed from me for use in cloning perfect human specimens should the need to replace the human race ever arise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 01:44 AM

sheeeesh Rap, you're too young for all that cuttin'. When my mother went through all the piecings and piercings and parcellings and parsings, she said that the *next* time she's going to tell them: Just take it ALL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 07:39 AM

Ouch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM

Are you fully recovered from your travels? Did you indeed see the Aurora? Isn't that why you set out in the first place?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 10:05 AM

Sort of. Yes, three times, and I have photos that prove it. Yes. I also went dog mushing and snow machine riding as well as attending classes on the aurora and astronomy in general.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 10:19 AM

I've never understood people who pay money to go to places where they are surrounded by snow. I hate the stuff. And the cold. Give me the Med any time...only a two hour flight from here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 12:48 PM

Well, you live in the very center of a great deal of very soggy privilege, Peter. Don't forget that. Where Rapp lives, in Pocatello, life is more hard-scrabble, which tends to make people have operations at an early age. And escaping to a land of snow and ice which at least has some sort of lighting, even if it's just cosmic, is a welcome change from the grind of the tough Pocatello life style. Don't judge those less fortunate than you are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 07:32 PM

Life sucks and then ya die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 10:32 PM

Not me! From what I'm told I won't enjoy the place I'm going to end up and so I'm not going to make the trip!

So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 12:30 AM

It is true that life can suck, and also that one eventually probably dies; but the mellerdrammer in between is great entertainment for the price!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 09:58 AM

Pearl Pureheart: "Help me! Oh, help me!"

Villain, sneering: "Aha! Submit!"

PP: "Never! Help me! Someone please help me!"

V: "I shall now start the saw that will cut the log to which you are tied into to lengthwise pieces!"

PP: "Better that than to submit to your foul desires!"

Sergeant Sigurd Sigurdsson, NWRCMP and professional hero: "Never fear, fair damsel! I shall rescue you! Take that, villain! And that! Your hands are as filthy as your soul!"

PP: "Ah, could you turn off the saw? Please?"

V: "Curses! Foiled again!"

PP: "The saw? Please?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 01:14 PM

Hey, A, that brought a frown to my face. I'm not letting you get away with that! Please explain:

How "I've never understood people who pay money to go to places where they are surrounded by snow" is me being judgemental of anyone (other than maybe myself).

This "soggy privilege" of mine.

What "operations" have got to do with my post.

How Rap, or anyone else for that matter, is less fortunate than me.

The "tough Pocatello" lifestyle. Sounds okay here.

Pete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 01:55 PM

Welcome to Texas. For weeks it has been exceptionally cold and nasty and icy. It was pleasantly warm for about 3 days, but now we're in fire season - warm, dry, very windy. Those pleasant days are few and far between - unlike in San Diego, which may get very very crowded after this U.S. winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 04:09 PM

Crowded... hmmmm... maybe not. Read the Papers on Monday after ther radiation study figures are released. Fuckedupshima has gone nasty again and I understand tuna are glowing on the left coast. I suggest that A move to the right coast so he can eat shellfish laced with crude oil rather than radioactive waste. At least that will grease his old joints.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 06:13 PM

He could move here and never need lights again at night. The glow from the Idaho National Laboratory's reactors make additional lighting unnecessary.

At the rest stop on Big Lost River outside Arco you can see the remains of twelve (12) nuclear reactors. No one knows how many the Navy has in their bailiwick out there -- security is somewhat tight.

Need a nearly new 500 pound bomb that was only dropped once, 60 years or so ago? We've got that out that way as well! You'll have to go looking for them, but metal detecting is a fun activity AND you'll make new friends when the security helicopters land!

The Arco Desert -- fun for the entire family!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 09:27 PM

Fishin baby! Gots ta get us some nuclear fishin. Can't find tha pic but I am sure ya seen it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 11:55 PM

6 Kg U235 + 6 Kg U235 (in 0.10 seconds or less) --> E=Mc2.

(NB: figure out the yield yourself, using the speed of light as 299,792,458 meters per second, and use only 10% or so of the total yield as the total effective yield because of the crudeness of the process.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 06:18 AM

I use garden worms fer small brooks and a skeeter fly on bigger water and a Green Machine or Brown Bomber on yer rivers, dependin on the salmon mood.

Long (and good) story but here's the Reader's... I was fishin longside a Tom Sellick and Ted Williams at Gray Rapids on the Main Sou'west Miramichi. Wind come up. Them lads was castin like it was calm so I stayed in. Bad move! I was lucky when the line wrapped around my head that the fly didn't pierce the skin on my forehead. Ya know what a Green Machine goin a hundred miles an hour feels like when it hits ya hard enough ta leave a clearly defined mark? I'd hafta go back and find the story I wrote years ago to get the words exactly right but the gist of it is that Ted ended up sayin sommat like... if I did sommat that stupid, I wouldn't call attention to it. I watched (from a lawn chair on the other side of the river) that man fish for hours like I was a baseball fan and the World Series was on the boob tube. True poetry in motion. Sellick was good too. There was an old guide that would fish there sometimes. Only as tall as me but everyone reeled in, gave way and watched him. Didn't take long. Guess he knew when and where and what to throw.

Directly across the river is where I first met Ted. http://www.flickr.com/photos/15565423@N05/8580132474/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 06:21 AM

How do you know where the Big Lost River is?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 11:25 AM

Oh fer...it's just east of where Little Lost River joins it, of course. Good fishing in the Big Lost River, too -- lots of dustmouth bass and dun trout and sometime even a sand sturgeon has been hooked (but you can't even pull them from the water, just remove the hook and let 'em go).

Good dry flies for the Big Lost are zebra duns, black gnats, evening duns, sparse gray hackles, and tan adult caddis. I'd suggest a 10-weight rod as a minimum, with appropriate backing, line, and tippet...anything less and you might be left with a broken rod! Them fish are BIG, but you don't usually need anything bigger than a .38 if you don't plan to do catch-and-release.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 12:02 PM

Years ago, afore my back got messed up, I used ta fish a pool just shy a tha spawnin grounds on tha East Branch a tha Northwest Arm a tha Little Fork a the Main Southeast Mercedes. It fed The North Main Mercedes just upstream a tha Big Benz Pool. Never caught many fish. Couldn't! Me an Tete Rouge, the biggest damn Irish you ever seen useta try to catch a small one and hang it in a net from four inch diameter maple pools so's we'd have a pole on each shoulder ta get n out. One day, he got a big one on the line... swallowed the meat hook right into his gut so I had ta fill n with lead from my trusty Russian 12. Nearly ran outta slugs. Had ta fillet n on the spot an make four trips. Tete Rouge had ta hitch a ride ta get his three quarter ton on accounta poachers mighta stole the fish if I'da drove him home with my half ton.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 12:15 PM

No takers? Well, a real woodsman never tells ya where the big ones are eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 05:39 PM

Uh-oh! Starting on fish stories - now THAT is real BS!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 06:40 PM

BS? I got pics! Well, I don't have any of the time I pissed myself. I was in Nain, Labrador. Long story but, Nain is 13 miles from the Atlantic thru a bunch of islands so a head builds up and the tide rises real fast in Nain near the end of the cycle. I was out on a boulder field and... well.. after I saw the 8' fin comin toward me, I turned and couldn't see the big fuckin rocks I jumped between to get out there. Like I said, long story but I got close enough to shore to swim while still hanging onto my cod and char. However, the water was so cold that I pissed myself. Honestly, it had NOTHING to do with the fact that I was scared shitless of that big fin. Hmmmm.... that's another story.

Coffee break in Nain. Saaaay, I had a nice ass back in the day, if I do say so myself. Hmmmm... am I self-gay? or conceited? or reminiscent? of my youth? or wishful that I? or...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 09:34 PM

Nah. None a that there. I just had a nice tight ass. That's just one a tha reasons tha girls liked me. Ahhh... those were tha nights my friend, I thought they never end. Boy, was I wrong! Now my saggy ass just does well ta git ta the grocery store and back. But you oughta taste these spice cookies after a fishcake supper. They say the way to a woman's heart is thru her stomach and I can cook.

Wha? No? Still need a big dick? Jaysus! I can't catch a break. Really? Not even macaroni and cheese? SWEDISH MEATBALLS? I make em soooo good. Breaded haddock? Johnny Cake and sausages? Clam chowder with bar clams and lobster? Oh COME ON EH? Toast with Partridgeberry jam but that's it. If the lasses can't get with that, they don't get with me. It's on cracked wheat bread........ mmmm.... sexy eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 11:28 PM

There was the time when my two brother and I were out wandering around The Swamp. A train was stopped on the tracks that went through The Swamp and suddenly we realized that the tank cars were filled with the last remaining furred carp in existence! They were being taken to Chicago to be made into fur things, like coats and hats, and they cooked up pretty good after you got the fur off.

We knew that this was totally unacceptable and that if we didn't Do Something there would be no more furred carp! If we could release them back into the creek...somehow...

Then my brother Ted yelled, "Quick! Take off your pants!"

That was a very odd thing to say, but he explained. We could put a pants leg over the tank car drain, stick the legs of our pants together, close the place where you put the pants on real tight with our belts, and use the setup as a sort of hose to turn the furred carp loose into the creek!

Quicker than a wink or two we did that, but found that we also had to use our long-handled underwear as well. We did, and butt-naked we watched as the furred carp shot out in the creek, where they would be able to get back the Mississippi River and freedom.

We managed to empty all 32 tank cars this way AND get dressed and out of sight before the train crew came along and found all of the valves open and the fish gone.

We never got a reward or anything other than knowing that we'd done a Good Thing, but the very last furred carp to leave did turn and sort of give us a salute of thanks with his or her fin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 14 - 12:20 AM

A finned salute stores up credit in Heaven, mon copain. You guys with your long tales of fish and Big Rivers need to find some sunlight to warm your puir bones, I think. We had some here in San Digo today--it warmed the land up t o > 75F, and everyone was wearing short sleeves. The dog was more than happy to take advantage by galloping along the many-scented borders of the trails that run through the nearby canyons of Marion Bear State Park. It's actually a small fissure leading off of the big fault-line coming in from La Jolla on the Pacific Coast about half-a-mile West of here. If the Coast ever breaks off, this fault line is going to be one of the dotted lines of cleavage. You can find it on fault maps labeled as the Rose Canyon Fault. You could look it up...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 14 - 05:58 AM

"Total collapse of the interstate isn't considered likely, but the failure of on-ramps and shifting of the road bed would seriously impair its use."

Can't ya get quake tires fer that there? I got studded winter tires fer Mum's car a few weeks back after we had all those snow storms in close proximity time-wise. Ain't had but one real snow since so they must work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 14 - 09:35 PM

I'd think a dog running up there could shake the earth enough to start a quake - be careful, Amos and Maggie!

That's quite a rich diet you're offering up to your lady friends, gnu. Throw in some salad and fruit so they won't worry about putting on the pounds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 14 - 09:40 PM

And pie and ice cream and some of that delicious spice cake they make in Quebec and perhaps some wild berry cobbler with maple syrup whipped cream and of course lots of freshly made butter. Tortiere would also be a good addition to the menu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 04:30 AM

Rapp certainly knows how to make the fat lady sing, doesn't he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 07:01 AM

He certainly knows how to make the lady fat!

Still, if he catches enough of them furred carp he can make her a nice big coat (if he can understand the instructions).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 11:00 AM

That is one off-the-beam entry, Pete! I had no idea there would be a translation into Arabic of furred (Carp.), let alone that it would be classified under TEchnology. PLanks a lot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 12:37 PM

Sunny Sunday. Daffodils in the yard, and time to get to work. I wish I had some of this BS to shovel into the gardens and flowerbeds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 02:03 PM

I thought this letter to the editor from today's "Idaho State Urina...Journal" might be of scientifical interest:

   What's going on has anybody been watching the moon chem spray? It's not for moisture. Look around. Pay attention to how the clouds hang like theater curtains.

   There's days it sets and swirls ? like hiding or inducing something or both. When does a waxing crescent moon that should be full look like an eclipse? Last month it went on for seven days. Even look at the stars. I did a lot of research. It's intense and not even on the news. I'm not the only one who's noticed it.

   You would think it would make the news, rain in Alaska in January, freezing in Florida, an increase in earthquakes. Headlines: Southeast Idaho purchases anther armored vehicle for what; what's really going to happen?

   I'll keep pushing until someone knows.


I have not published the sender's name for fear of a lawsuit by a reputable science-type person. I've noticed "theater-curtain clouds" too -- they are called the "aurora borealis" and will become neat colors if you're far enough away from ambient light and watch long enough.

(The "armored vehicles" were purchased by groups of sheriffs' departments working together to spread out the costs and they will be used by the SWAT teams when needed. They mount no guns and run on rubber tires, they are used to get the cops close to an active shooter without the cops getting shot. Oh! As far as I know, no federal monies were used. One, for the lower end of I-15, is in Pocatello and the other, for the northern end from Idaho Falls to the Montana line, is in Idaho Falls.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 05:06 PM

Were funny shrooms involved? I saw a bunch of lads in residence at uni have a magic shroom spaghetti supper. It was, ahhh, interesting. They weren't violent or threatening in any way but when they climbed into various trees and laughed as passersby passed by, I thought, gee, them there shrooms are some fucked up shit. And, of course, why would anyone eat sommat that even cows and sheep won't eat? Humans are the strangest animals on earth.

Then again, I drink a few Buds whilst penning songs, poems and prose. Why, I even saw an author of note from Calleeforneeah drink Yankee Bud and smoke Camels! Imagine THAT!

BTW... that empty pack of cammels is exactly where you left it. Hasn't been touched, for good reason... I see it often as I walk by and it warms my heart. Thanks for an evening I will never forget.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 08:22 PM

Ya know, some of them shrooms that cause psychodillic stuff have an active principle that passes out in the urine of the users. In some societies these shrooms have been reserved for the wealthy elite, and the poor folks drink up when they can. I don't know how long this can go on, but I think that dilution would eventually render it useless for future imbibing.

I understand that the stuff that's drunk tastes a lot like Budweiser.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 08:33 PM

All numbers where, reading from the left, the first and last numbers are the same and the second and fourth numbers are the same, and the third number is any number, belong to me (up to 100,000, following which the third and fourth numbers must be identical). Likewise any number with naught but zeroes following it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Feb 14 - 09:58 PM

Yer a naughty nut.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Feb 14 - 09:13 AM

Guest at 22:58 AST was me... gnu on laptop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 24 Feb 14 - 10:30 AM

Another century rolls by...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 14 - 10:47 AM

Hello. It's me again. Nothing special, I just wanted to wish everyone a day filled with joy, music, and sunshine.


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