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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

CarolC 18 Apr 04 - 07:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 04 - 07:40 PM
CarolC 18 Apr 04 - 07:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 04 - 07:28 PM
GUEST,homersexual 18 Apr 04 - 07:27 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 04 - 07:14 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 04 - 07:06 PM
Amos 18 Apr 04 - 06:52 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 04 - 06:11 PM
CarolC 18 Apr 04 - 05:34 PM
Amos 18 Apr 04 - 04:42 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 04 - 02:45 PM
Amos 18 Apr 04 - 11:41 AM
Acme 18 Apr 04 - 11:29 AM
Acme 17 Apr 04 - 01:34 PM
Rustic Rebel 16 Apr 04 - 02:14 PM
Little Hawk 16 Apr 04 - 10:50 AM
Amos 16 Apr 04 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 04 - 09:17 AM
Amos 16 Apr 04 - 12:13 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Apr 04 - 06:41 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 04 - 06:15 PM
Amos 15 Apr 04 - 06:06 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 04 - 03:10 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 15 Apr 04 - 09:09 AM
Amos 15 Apr 04 - 08:46 AM
CarolC 15 Apr 04 - 12:25 AM
Amos 15 Apr 04 - 12:24 AM
Acme 15 Apr 04 - 12:16 AM
CarolC 15 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 11:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 04 - 11:40 PM
CarolC 14 Apr 04 - 11:35 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 11:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 04 - 11:20 PM
CarolC 14 Apr 04 - 11:11 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 14 Apr 04 - 11:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM
GUEST, Bubba Bubba 14 Apr 04 - 10:09 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 09:46 PM
CarolC 14 Apr 04 - 09:39 PM
GUEST,The Other Guy 14 Apr 04 - 08:32 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 08:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 04 - 08:04 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 04 - 06:27 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 05:17 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 04 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 04 - 04:55 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 04:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:47 PM

This is for if the two of you decide to go parking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:40 PM

Heck, Carol, ain't nuthin' to addin' more wheels to 'em. Jus' han' me thet weldin' torch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:36 PM

It's nice, Bee-dubya-ell, but I think yore date is going to need the extra wheels and tires to support all of her various appendages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:28 PM

Thanks for the link, Carol, but this is John Deere country down here and if I were to be caught drivin' a multi-passenger ATV other than a John Deere Gator my neighbors would probably burn a cross in my tomato patch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,homersexual
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:27 PM

its 2004 now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:14 PM

Very sensible of you, Rapaire. I shan't do so either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:06 PM

Being a person of great personal fortitude and forbearance, I haven't posted to this thread for two days now and I don't think I'll do so today.

Of course, I may not post for quite some time come Tuesday, since I am on jury duty alert and will probably be called then. I am certain I'll be sequestered away in a five-star hotel for several weeks, where I shall luxuriate at the taxpayers' expense.

Or, when I'm called for the voir dire, I can tell the Judgy-Wudgy how absolutely ravishing the black muu-muu looks and that I bet the prosecutor just goes wild over it when they're alone "in chambers."

Maybe I'll just sit there tying hangman's nooses in pieces of string.

No, I don't think I'll post to MOAB today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 06:52 PM

Is that a guilty plea, LH? Or an evasion? We wouldn't want to misunderstand...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 06:11 PM

Oh, for heaven's sake! :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 05:34 PM

Bubba Bubba and Bee-dubya-ell, here's your prom-nite limo:

Hubba Hubba


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 04:42 PM

LH is the only person I know who sings while he masturbates. But, hey, whatever floats your boat. This is a music site after all!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 02:45 PM

Hey nonny, nonny! Hey nonny, nonny! Whacka, whacka, dingdong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 11:41 AM

Gentlemen, ladies,

A toast tot he gallantry and perseverance of which true heroes are made, whatever thier walk of life; raise your far off glasses to SRS for saving our MOAB from a fate worse than a fart in a submarine.

Now you may go back to sleep until Rapaire comes along with a weisenheinmer riposte.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 11:29 AM

Twice now! This thread is getting pretty heavy! Where is everyone this weekend?

Up to no good, I hope!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 01:34 PM

Whoa! moab almost fell off of the bottom of the page!

There you go, little fella. . .I caught ya


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 02:14 PM

Bubba-Bubba if you take Bee-Dubya'a advice, (Instead of taking the most direct route, hesheit will have to travel by way of Minnesota so hesheit can get hisherits multiphasic personality inventoried.) and come to Minnesota for a multiphasic personality inventory,stop my my place will you?
My dog's in heat and she told me she wants a piece of that black lab action.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 10:50 AM

Neeh! Neeh! Neeh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 10:35 AM

Lutheran tunes on the Uke? Like "Forever to Blame?" and "Oh, Eternal Burden Rest On Me?" and "The Lady of Perpetual Responsibility Waltz"??

Wow. This guy will be buzzing for weeks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 09:17 AM

Norwegian bachelor farmer accordion lessons! What a treat Bee-Dubya had coming! And Lutheran tunes on the uke! Almost makes me jealous, almost.

I wonder if the lab is a pointing lab, or just retrieves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:13 AM

Just hope she doesn't fall in love with the Post-It production line...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 06:41 PM

If it's true that Bubba Bubba is in himherit's multiphase, then hesheit will doubtlessly have to make a slight detour in hisherits trip ftom Reno to Floribama.

Instead of taking the most direct route, hesheit will have to travel by way of Minnesota so hesheit can get hisherits multiphasic personality inventoried.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 06:15 PM

Yup, kinky. So, you know about it then, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 06:06 PM

It's trhe multiphase. BB already said it. Imagine three gigantic squid joined at the hip, fighting over a Crisco-covered watermelon and you get an idea of what multiphase is like.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 03:10 PM

Lordy, you go away for a few hours to do a budget and Bee-Dubya's old flame comes back.

I'm kinda interesting in knowing how Bubba-Bubba plays both instruments at the same time. Could give a whole new meaning to "kinky."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 09:09 AM

I went and learned to play a couple more, too, Bee-Dubya honey. I wanted to surprise you, so here's another li'l ol' hint. I jes' know you're gonna like makin' this beautiful music with me, Bee-Dubya! And you know that I can play all of my music at the same time I'm a-holdin' you close, Bee-Dubya, 'cause right now I look a little different from the last picture I sent you. It's just the multiphase, though, and I'll be my old self when I get there to you.

I'm in Reno right now, and the Labrador and me are both panting for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 08:46 AM

Obviously a lost soul and ketchup addict. I am sending him my prayers.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 12:25 AM

I hate to break it to you Bee-dubya-ell, but THIS is the guy who owns the accordion in the picture you posted. He must have just been letting that lady use for a little while because she didn't have any clothes and she needed to cover herself with something.

Here he is again:Accordion Guy

And here he is without the accordion


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 12:24 AM

Actually, Carol, I really like th eline drawing for its sublime overtones!

SRS, I am happy for your sens eof secuirity, but those who do that kind of looking aren't looking to become wiser, for sure!

:>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 12:16 AM

Aren't I lucky that I play an upright grand! I can smile over the top of my instrument and no one's the wiser!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM

Sometimes, Amos.

If you want to see the actual photo, you'll have to buy the calendar from Max


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:49 PM

Don't be fooled by a pretty smile -- those pleats have teeth in 'em if they catch your protuberances at the wrong moment!! Carol, do you ever play with your protuberances at risk like that lass? Enquiring minds want to...know!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:40 PM

Okay. So I just sent Junior and his crack reconnaissance team out on a secret mission to locate Bubba Bubba. They have found himherit and have sent back this picture.

I wish to retract my previous post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:35 PM

You can do it, Bee-dubya-ell. Just lie back and think of England.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:30 PM

Now, BW -- you gotta admit it looks kinda sexy all laid out on the striped sheets like that there!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:20 PM

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

NO!!! Anything but that!!! Bubba-Bubba has learned to play the accordion!!!

And he-she-it's heading this way!!!


HELP!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:11 PM

Oooooohhhhhh!!!!!

Bee-dubya-ell! YOU are in for a TREAT!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:04 PM

Bee-Dubya honey, here's a li'l ol' picture of a li'l bit of what I've got waitin' just for you! Ain't you excited?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM

Lemme guess, Bubba-Bubba. You went an' learned how to drive a stick-shift? Change a flat tire? Tie a Windsor knot? Chew gum? Play Monopoly? Use an ATM machine? Speak Swahili? Play a French horn?   

Aw, hell! I give up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Bubba Bubba
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 10:09 PM

Bee-Dubya, honey? I'm real, and I'm already in southeastern Oregon. I've got the Labrador with me, too, a real big ol' black guy, just what we need. And Bee-Dubya, I've got a really big ol' surprise for you, too! Something I've been learning just for you, and I'll bet you'll never ever guess what it is I've went and learned to do!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 09:46 PM

I too assure you that at least, Carol, you are not this one. I make it a hard and fast rule never to be another man's spouse. Not my style, if you take my meaning. BWL is just flapping his brain cell. :>)



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 09:39 PM

Jack the Sailor says I'm not any of those other people, and I believe him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Other Guy
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 08:32 PM

Damn! Busted!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 08:22 PM

Knee deep in the Big MOAB
And the damn fools jes' keep on...



Gotta admire 'em for peersuveerunce, huh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 08:04 PM

I have come to the inescapable conclusion that there are, in reality, only two people who contribute to this thread: Me and The Other Guy.

Consider this: The only poster whose existence I can empirically verify is me. I know that I am making this post. However, regardless of whose name appears on any other post, I can never be absolutely certain that it has been made by that person. It could have been made by an impostor.

So, if it is even remotely possible that any post was made by an impostor, then it is also possible that all posts made by anyone other than me have been made by impostors. So, if they're all being made by impostors, why is it necessary to have multiple impostors? It could just as easily be a single person doing all that impostoring. That means that Amos, Rapaire, khandu, Rustic Rebel, Tweed, Carol the Sailor, Little Hawk, et al are really all one person! One very sick, demented, insomniac person with a remarkably acute case of dissociative hysteria, but one person just the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 07:20 PM

Thanks, Rapaire for responding so promptly to my little experiment. I accept your consolation -- go ahead, straighten out the false values. I am willing to die for my ideals. Because, really,. it was all just a big test, like throwing out a honking big lead- line with the giant plug of lead tied off the end overboard, and stuck in the socket at the bottom o' that hunk of lead, a big ole chunk of wax. You throw the lead, with the wax stuck in, over the side, just for one reason, you see. You want to know if there is any bottom. And you hope maybe if you find a bottom, the wax will bring a trace up to tell you what is down there.

Like that. I am sorry to report there is no bottom. The delusion here is bottomless. Of course all the best delusions look that way, but I had some hope for you. This means no way to find shore, no way to anchor your barque, no way to know that the deepest and blackest part is behind you.

No, it is I who am sorry. But, please fix things up right for your next illusion.

As for correcting that flawe in LH, I would like to believe you, I really would.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 06:27 PM

The wires were never crossed, Amos. Sorry, I really, really hate to break this news to you because I am a caring and just Creator and I have tried to hide the truth from you to spare you. But here it is:

When I was creating you, I'd already created Little Hawk. He was running on about Bill Shatner (who is a construct, not a real person like you and Little Hawk are). Anyway, he was yammering on about Shatner this and Shatner that, how Shatner was the greatest singer EVER, and it sorta distracted me. The bottom line is: you're a flawed creation and LH is at fault. The flaws are so grievous, so deeply imbedded, that to correct them would cancel your existence. If you wish, I'll do so, but then you'll go "phhhpppttt!" and softly and silently vanish away (you're part Boojum, by the way).

Your choice: It's this existence or non-existence.

Oh, yeah, I was able to correct that flaw about recognizing good singing in the Little Hawk module. It wasn't integral to that unit's existence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 05:17 PM

Nice try Rapaire-man, but there is no way those ratios are gonna work that way -- you 'll end up with a thankless, grinding, hopeless, soulless universe full of dismal, mindless, uninspired and unmotivated beings, draining their lives out in unimaginative toil, mere survival their sole reward -- how gruesome is that??

So don't pull those "Parameter Patsy" tapdances on me, bro'. Get the damn wires uncrossed or this universe is gonna blow sky-high, right in your little god-like face, ya unnerstan'??

Your humble and obedient creation,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 04:58 PM

Don't you mean "unjust and unappropriate", Amos or did I disunderstand you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 04:55 PM

Amos, corrections to those typos are made in the fourth (and very latest) edition of the Handbook. In the first, the ratios were switched. In the second, well, you lucked out, 'cause the good luck was supposed to start running out at 35.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 04:49 PM

Rapaire:

If you really are the secret source behind all the mechanisms of my existence there are a few management issues you and I need to discuss. For one thing, the ration of energy out to energy in from the environment in the form of revenue is entirely unsatisfactory. In Solipsists' Handbook and Guidelines, Third Edition, second chapter, it clearly says that exertion should approach zero while reward approaches infinity. You seem to have been asleep the day this material was covered and subsequently gotten these two values inverted. Please see this gets corrected. Also, my quanta of sheer inexplicable good luck seems to have dininshed since I turned fifty, and this seems injust and inapprorpiate to me. Please correct this.

Thanks very much,

Your respectful creation,

A


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