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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 06 Apr 16 - 10:30 PM
gnu 06 Apr 16 - 10:30 PM
Amos 06 Apr 16 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 06 Apr 16 - 10:51 PM
Little Hawk 07 Apr 16 - 12:16 AM
gnu 07 Apr 16 - 06:07 AM
Rapparee 07 Apr 16 - 07:17 AM
gnu 07 Apr 16 - 02:44 PM
gnu 07 Apr 16 - 03:45 PM
Acme 07 Apr 16 - 07:45 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 16 - 08:36 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 16 - 12:44 AM
Rapparee 08 Apr 16 - 02:08 PM
Amos 08 Apr 16 - 07:59 PM
Amos 08 Apr 16 - 10:46 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 16 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 16 - 11:13 PM
gnu 09 Apr 16 - 08:22 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 16 - 08:37 PM
Amos 10 Apr 16 - 02:30 AM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 16 - 04:35 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 16 - 09:55 AM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 16 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 16 - 05:08 PM
gnu 10 Apr 16 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 16 - 09:18 PM
Amos 11 Apr 16 - 04:37 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 16 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 16 - 10:35 PM
Amos 11 Apr 16 - 11:05 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 16 - 11:32 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 16 - 09:14 AM
Amos 12 Apr 16 - 08:44 PM
Acme 12 Apr 16 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 16 - 09:31 AM
Amos 13 Apr 16 - 10:47 AM
Little Hawk 13 Apr 16 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 16 - 10:16 PM
Little Hawk 13 Apr 16 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 16 - 11:37 PM
Acme 14 Apr 16 - 12:17 AM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 16 - 01:23 AM
Amos 14 Apr 16 - 01:28 AM
Acme 14 Apr 16 - 08:24 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 16 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 16 - 08:37 AM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 16 - 06:01 PM
Amos 14 Apr 16 - 08:00 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 16 - 08:10 PM
gnu 14 Apr 16 - 09:16 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Apr 16 - 10:30 PM

I've seen that one many times. It's not Chongo. It's a young Chimp from Albuquerque named Charles. Charles is studying the use of firearms at one of the schools the APP has set up to teach primates self defense and responsible use of firearms. You can see that the little guy hasn't quite mastered the proper way to hold that handgun yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 16 - 10:30 PM

I see his nibs at 7:30 IF he gets finished with hospital rounds in time for my appointment. Often not. I know another mammogram will be in order. This one is a much larger mass (some will know I was rather fat and lost 100+# so I still have "tits") and this one hurts like hell when I lay on it in the middle of the night. I was shocked at the last one... I had no idea so many men get breast cancer until I had a lump a while back (all okay). Other than that, I am in good health unless I consider the other stuff and the degradation of my mental faculties. I tend to separate the "physical" from the "mental". Ya gotta do that. Otherwise, ya might change lifestyles and that's... Jaysus H.! What's up with the howling wind? I was just out for a walk and it was calm. Oh no. No. A Banshee? I'll expect a call early in the morn... unless he's come for me... in which case, I won't have to get up early to see the doc and I can sleep in. I just pray, perchance, I don't dream. I hate dreams. I wanna not wake up without having any dreams.

gnightgnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Apr 16 - 10:47 PM

According to Durant, the ancient Roman prelates kept all kinds of records, did ceremonies and performed quinquennial lustrations which are expiatory rites. {This was a couple of hundred years before the Christian era}.

Guilt is a real trip, isn't it? I would advise ALL of Mom's children to reject whole-cloth any persuasion directed toward the establishment of guilt, and instead, adopt a path of personal responsibility in which one faces squarely one's past and takes ownership over one's future.

You don't need any goddamned expiatory lustrations, my fellow souls. By all that ever was, you are forgiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 16 - 10:51 PM

Dolor non est saxo.
Insula non flebit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 16 - 12:16 AM

That's right, Amos! All are forgiven. Just get on with being who you really are, I say, and life will unfold as it was meant to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 16 - 06:07 AM

Il fluff de neige la. C'est une skiff so pas sweat. Going to 9C avec pluie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 16 - 07:17 AM

In a few hours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 16 - 02:44 PM

Well, that was more than a few hours ago so what's the scoop?

Doc pinched my tit and I said it hurt. He said that was a good thing... just a cyst and nothing to worry about. Then I asked about the colonoscopy because I was deemed a "five year man" after my last one but it seems like it was long ago. He went back in his records. Indeed, it was done in January, 2008. The arsehole doc had his licence pulled at 25 years of service and it was given to "young blood". Imagine THAT! Ya spend 25 years where the sun don't shine and some arsehole silly servant says ya gotta move over and make room for a younger arseholer. Canuck health care works in strange ways some times. So, my five year cycle got filed in the round file in this lovely can of red tape worms. Arseholes.

I voiced my surprise and displeasure. After all, Dr. Ross Doc said I wouldn't believe the ways the bureaucrats screw over docs in our province. Sad shit, man. Anyway, I can't wait to drink the Evil Potion and pass time passing me guts in preparation for having some young arseholer shove a shitter snake up my alimentary canal. Some fun, huh Bambi?

Oh... and that other thing? Well, I gotta keep an eye on that. But, blood pressure was fine, I got a renewed prescription for something I need, was refused yet again a "supplier chit" (we don't get prescriptions up here) for medical Marywanna, and given an appointment for August so I have at least another four months to live. Hopefully, my referral appointment to the ENT will come before that... the referral was made on July 7 last year so I nose it will come soon... maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 16 - 03:45 PM

"After all, Dr. Ross Doc said I wouldn't believe the ways the bureaucrats screw over docs in our province."

After all, Dr. Ross was a tried and true expert who plied the murky waters of many a canal and that should at least give him harbour clearance for those that have had his ship sail within them before.

Dunno how I managed to edit that out (screw that up). Whatever. Maybe my head's up my ass again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Apr 16 - 07:45 PM

I noticed in the Merle Haggard thread that King Khandu stopped by, but as a guest, so he must have been shocked to see MOM off limits. Maybe Joe will send him a password reminder and he'll stop in sometime in the next thousand posts or so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 16 - 08:36 PM

That would be nice.

Pat's out of surgery and trying to recover in her hospital room. She threw me out and said not to come back until someone calls or tomorrow morning, whichever came first. The surgeon thinks he got it all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 16 - 12:44 AM

That is good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 16 - 02:08 PM

Both of us survived the night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 16 - 07:59 PM

Bravo, Pat and Doc and patient husband of patient!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 16 - 10:46 PM

I hail Khandu, strange visitor from another thread, founder of Mudcat's Pride and the reincarnation of the very Kinge Himmselfe!.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 16 - 11:05 PM

Yes, all hail the King!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 16 - 11:13 PM

Hail to the King, who in triumph advances,
Honour'd and blest be the founder of Our Line!
Long may he see that Mother Moab still dances,
Flourish the shelter and grace of our line!
Heaven send him mountain dews,
All send him lots of blues,
Gaily to bourgeon and broadly to grow!
While every thread so thin,
Sends our shout back again,
"King Khandu, the founder, of MOAB so fair!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 16 - 08:22 AM

Glad to hear the positive comment from the doc, Rap. I hope recovery is speedy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 16 - 08:37 PM

She's been home for 3+ hours. Home health care comes tomorrow afternoon for "intake."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 02:30 AM

I was beleaguered by broken strings tonight, but I came through jes' fine.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 04:35 AM

I decided to clean out the guest room, which was full of guitars, model kits in boxes, and assorted bric-a-brac. Finally done....and it's looking great.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 09:55 AM

Those guitars -- did any a have crank on the side and play "Pop goes the weasel"? Martins that do that are very rare and worth tons of money. Gibson as well. Only two Fenders that do that were made and they're in the Rock 'n' Roll Museum in Cleveland. Most people don't know about these guitars and just toss them out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 10:24 AM

I once saw one of those rare Martins, Rap. It played "Yankee Doodle" when you turned the crank. It also had a bullet hole right through the front and out the back in the lower bout. Some ex-Confederate must have taken offense, I suppose. Anyway, I would have bought it, but just didn't have enough money at the time, and by the time I had gotten together the money and rushed back...it was gone! (sob!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 05:08 PM

Coulda been a Yankee objecting to the song Flight of Doodles.

But was it a .58 caliber hole? That's the usual caliber for the unCivil War.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 06:26 PM

Glad she's home. Treat her like the Queen she is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 09:18 PM

I'm very, very tired. I still have to fold the last of the laundry and in general tidy up a very little before falling into the arms of Morpheus and rest until rosy fingered Dawn heralds a new day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 04:37 AM

I got a bit tiddly and while walking the beloved pup, composed a heart-wrenchingly beautiful song about remembering all the people you have known before, When I went to write it down I had forgotten it. Ain't that a helluva note>


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 08:27 AM

Amos, I once wrote a beautiful song as well. It described to a tee the gut-wrenching feelings of loss: of lost love, of the loss of those who have gone on before, of lost innocence. But when I was in the "Men's" the table was cleared the napkin upon which it was written was thrown away in the trash. I searched diligently, rooting through the trash for a week straight, but never found it. I did find the Lost Chord, the Lost Boys, various Lost Treasures, and some Lost Keys, but never that magical napkin. The song was called "Heartbreak Hotel," so if you find it please let me know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 10:35 PM

I have been going through old pictures -- family, mostly, some dating back to the 19th Century. I can see that my stunning good looks are hereditary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 11:05 PM

That must have been stressful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 11:32 PM

Same as Chongo, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 09:14 AM

The only known photo of Chongx's father. And now, after much research among bad photographs, here is the ONLY know photo of Chongx as a baby. True chimps did not want this released, but I finally convinced them that it should be shared with the world. It seems like Chongx's caudalcranial lack of pilus in a ventral strip is an embarrassment to all members of both the catarrhini and plathyrrhine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 08:44 PM

SOmetimes I have to acknowledge how grateful I am that this crumb is imaginary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 09:56 PM

Sorry, Rap. You're giving that orangutan a bad name by even hinting at a relationship to Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 09:31 AM

It snowed! Several inches of the stuff now cover my lawn, driveway, and house and it's still coming down rather heavily. The temperature is -12F.

Only my house. The everything ends at my property line. Except for here it's a bright, sunny day. Except for here the birdies are singing; here dire wolves are howling. There is a woolly mammoth in my backyard.   

I think it has to do with climate change or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 10:47 AM

On closer examination it was found that the snowflakes falling on the property line at Rapp's place have one flat side, and the tolerance of irregularity where they lay on the dividing line is less than three thou. Scientists are unable to explain the physics of such a phenomenon and have suggested consulting a numerologist, but Rapparree has announced he has other ideas and is planning to hire Chongo Chimp to investigate the peculiar metaphysics of the situation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 01:01 PM

What the snow has to do with, Rap, is God's punishment for your scurrilous and unfounded attacks upon Chongo. You are going to suffer 7 terrible plagues. The snow is the first and the mildest. I'd tell you what's coming next, but I don't think you could handle it, so best just to wait and let you find out for yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 10:16 PM

Such as golf balls in my backyard? Sometimes missing the bullseye by a fraction of a nanometer when I go shooting? Putting up with opinionated fools? The Legion Hovel running out of whiskey?

I have all of that now, except for the last. Like a UFO kidnapping me and making me Emperor of the Galaxy, it's quite unlikely.

As for that flea bitten, scruffy, Chongx -- de minimus non curat meo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 11:06 PM

"damnant quod non intellegunt"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 11:37 PM

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes, paulo aquila.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 12:17 AM

Darned good conversation, Rap. The single malt had kicked in a bit, but I think it was still lucid. Photos tomorrow night (quilting, of course!) :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 01:23 AM

In absentia luci, tenebrae vincunt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 01:28 AM

If you can read this you can get a good jobbing knitting condoms in Nigeria.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:24 AM

Stopped by the Legion hall, struck up a conversation with Rap. They must water down the whiskey, I can understand what I wrote last night . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:27 AM

Pauperes Grammaticam! Sit lucis!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:37 AM

Et nunc, Chongx: Exemplum de simia, quae, quando plus ascendit, plus apparent posteriora eius. Fiducia virorum in sinistra non in dextra est, et ego ipse homo virtus!

Et Shame dixit, "Sed semper ubi sububi in caput meum!" et denuntiator Dana dixit, "Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 06:01 PM

I need a good Latin translating app...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:00 PM

Actually, you just need to disable Rapp's access to Google Translate. It's a sham erudition sorta thing he does. I guess he thinks his thoughts sound more distinguished in Latin than in the original Lithuanian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:10 PM

I thought he just spoke in grunts, hoots, and whistles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 09:16 PM

Grunts, hoots, et sibilabit? Shit est Google Translate (that is Yoda latin).


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