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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jun 03 - 08:36 PM
GUEST,Gobsmacked 06 Jun 03 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 03 - 09:08 AM
Tweed 05 Jun 03 - 07:47 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jun 03 - 04:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jun 03 - 02:25 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 03 - 08:56 AM
gnu 05 Jun 03 - 04:44 AM
khandu 31 May 03 - 06:40 PM
CarolC 31 May 03 - 04:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 May 03 - 01:42 PM
JennyO 31 May 03 - 12:33 PM
Rapparee 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM
Little Hawk 31 May 03 - 12:06 AM
Little Hawk 30 May 03 - 11:53 PM
MMario 30 May 03 - 09:18 PM
khandu 30 May 03 - 08:59 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 03 - 11:08 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 May 03 - 10:54 PM
khandu 29 May 03 - 10:29 PM
khandu 29 May 03 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 29 May 03 - 09:13 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 03 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 29 May 03 - 09:00 AM
khandu 28 May 03 - 11:34 PM
Rapparee 28 May 03 - 10:50 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 03 - 10:14 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 03 - 12:37 PM
khandu 27 May 03 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 27 May 03 - 09:09 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 03 - 09:04 PM
Rapparee 27 May 03 - 09:01 PM
Tweed 27 May 03 - 07:53 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 03 - 12:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 May 03 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 27 May 03 - 08:53 AM
harpgirl 26 May 03 - 10:02 PM
khandu 26 May 03 - 08:48 PM
Amos 26 May 03 - 08:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 May 03 - 08:06 PM
Amos 26 May 03 - 12:12 PM
Little Hawk 26 May 03 - 11:24 AM
Tweed 26 May 03 - 10:57 AM
Tweed 26 May 03 - 10:47 AM
Little Hawk 26 May 03 - 09:46 AM
Li'l Aussie Bleeder 26 May 03 - 06:33 AM
khandu 25 May 03 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 25 May 03 - 09:37 PM
Tweed 25 May 03 - 09:30 PM
khandu 25 May 03 - 08:29 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jun 03 - 08:36 PM

This is the 480th post to this thread. It should be patently obvious to anyone who is not asleep or dead that it will reach the heretofore unheard of landmark point of 500 posts sometime in the next few days, possibly even on Spaw's birthday.

As Knower of Things and a whole buncha other stuff and by virtue of the fact that I am 6'3" and weigh 230 pounds I declare that the posting of that 500th post is the prerogative of His Majesty King khandu of Mississippi and NO OTHER since he started this mess. Anybody that jumps in and takes that privilege away from His Majesty is gonna get an industrial-size can of whoop-ass opened on him/herself. Ya unnerstan'?

Bee etc. etc. etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gobsmacked
Date: 06 Jun 03 - 02:58 PM

No Shat?!!!? I think he would make a much funnier and sexier president than even Bill Clinton did, and he would leave Bush totally in the dust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 03 - 09:08 AM

LH, there's a William Shatner appreciation group here. They call themselves "The Shats" and using the motto "You don't know Shat!" to begin a conversation about The Man's ideas, etc. They are popularily known around here as "Shatheads" and are starting a campaign "to put a REAL Shat in the White House."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 07:47 PM

My dear BeeDub,
Tweedburg is so full of BS it has run out the cracks and you see the horrible results before you. A nameless, crawling and gibbering chaos....
Who's there?

Yerz,
Ex-pat hooszer Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 04:09 PM

I am informed by reliable sources that William Shatner himself was quite concerned about the Mudcat being offline for an extended period. He regards this forum as an important contributor to the objective of acheiving complete SHATNERIZATION of society on a worldwide basis...an objective toward which such luminaries as George Bush Jr., Mike Tyson, Martha Stewart, Saddam Hussein, and Mao Tse-Tung have also made enthusiastic efforts of their own from time to time.

Don't prosyletize...SHATNERIZE!!!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 02:25 PM

Well, I was gonna be a smart-ass and post something as Shiney Knause or John Ashcroft or some other fictitous person, but I'm afraid to ditch my cookie right now 'cause it might not wanna come back. As myself, I can't think of a damned thing to say right now. I'm sure Tweed will be glad that the 'Cat's back up 'cause Tweedburg was on the verge of experiencing a severe BS outbreak. Yet another bullet dodged by the crafty expatriate Hoosier.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 08:56 AM

"...and the Shat came back, the very next day...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 04:44 AM

Well... someone had to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 May 03 - 06:40 PM

Carol the sailor, my admiration for you has had a meteoric rise! You and the Shat! Who'd a thunk it??!!

Y'all all have a nice 10 or so days and come back full of BS to add to the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!!!

Y'all come back now, ya heah?

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 31 May 03 - 04:03 PM

Ha!

Me and Bill Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 May 03 - 01:42 PM

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

The 'Cat's goin' down for at least 10 days! Gawd! Think of all the BS that the regular BSers won't be able to release because the 'Cat's goin' down for 10 days! The BS will just build up and build up and when the 'Cat it comes back online it'll be like that old joke about the monkey and the cork. BS will be flying everywhere and Joe Offer will be like the monkey tryin' to put the cork back in!

Oh well, so it goes. See you whackos when it's back up. Be sure to wear your hipboots and raincoats.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 31 May 03 - 12:33 PM

And will the 'Cat be down for Spaw's birthday? (shudder).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM

With the 'Cat going down for ten days....

Will this thread ever reach 500 posts? Will Bill Shatner ever? Stay tuned!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 May 03 - 12:06 AM

Of course, we could instead discuss the sex life of penguins. That could be good for another 20 or so posts. How about it?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:53 PM

Well, when you strip away the decorations and the glitter of and finally get down to basics you are faced with the most fundamental thing in all life. It's called...SHATNERIZATION. Deal with it, Mario. We all have to face these things eventually. It's like Murphy's Law...inescapable and inexorable.

"To boldly go where no man has gone before..." (Ooooo-oooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oooooo...)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 May 03 - 09:18 PM

*weeping for the BS that was once brilliant - and is now textbook material for the WSSOBA!*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 May 03 - 08:59 PM

Yes! Yes! Providence has moved its mighty finger again! All this time, I believed this to be the MOTHER OF ALL BULLSH*T THREADS, but, NO...it is the MOTHER OF ALL BILL SHATNER THREADS...or not.

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:08 PM

Yes...and don't forget...

Bill Shatner's initials are: B.S.

That tells you all you really need to know.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:54 PM

Scottieeeeeeeee, Please Beam these boys up! They need to be de-humanized for this thread to remain
completely insane,
constantly inhumane,
and the criterion for a permanent brain stain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:29 PM

The Majesty of Shatner is shown in the fact that both MOAB and Spaw's Birthday Threads have become Shatnerized!!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:17 PM

The majesty of the man is in his ability to make a success of spoofing himself! Shatner, and only Shatner, has mastered this. This shows his genuis, his brilliance!
How many have tried to make it in show-business by spoofing other well-knowns such as Shatner? But only he has succeeded in spoofing himself!

What a guy! It is fitting and proper that he be the highlight of the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!

What a guy!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:13 PM

Further research also shows worship by Fenrir, Jormungand, Hecate, Hiisi, Mictlantecuhtli (and his wife), Yenaldlooshi, Daityas, Leonard, Kali, Caillech, Belphegor, Furfur, Neit, Felorn, the Morrigan, and Arawn.

Yog Sothoth was remarkably restrained today, considering that I misspelled his name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:50 AM

YOG SOTHOTH!!! That name sends a chill through me, but not as big a chill as the dread sound "TEK-E-LI-LI!!!" Now that is horror with a capital "H". I expect to hear shortly that even GREAT CTH*LH* sacrifices to Shatner! It wouldn't surprise me. Shatner is like a force of Nature, he's simply omnipotent.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:00 AM

More research shows that Khandu is correct. Even further research shows conclusively that not only Moloch sacrifices to Shatner, but so does Asmodeus, Lilith, Shaitan, the Wendigo, Nut, Freya, Woten, Baal, and Yog Sothof.

Further research into this continues. News at 11.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 28 May 03 - 11:34 PM

Actually, if you had done your research properly, you would have discovered that Moloch sacrifices to Shatner, Cheney is a crony of Shatner, Powell is a pal of Shantner and Bush is a buddy to Shatner.

That is the way it is!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:50 PM

A Google search of the terms "Shatner" and "Bohemian" brought several pages of results. This provides OVERWHELMING evidence that William Shatner -- THE William Shatner! -- is a member of the Bohemian Club and hence sacrifices to Moloch and is a crony of Cheney, a pal to Powell, and a buddy to Bush! And if additional evidence is needed, isn't Kerrville in California? Quod erat demonstratum!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:14 PM

Beam me to Kerrville, Mr. Scott!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 03 - 12:37 PM

SHATNER ALERT!!!!! He's been spotted at the Kerrville Folk Festival, and CarolC got a picture!

YOWSA!!! WAY COOL!!! SHATNER ROCKS!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 May 03 - 10:08 PM

Everybody needs a good wiring harness...even the Kingly type!

bee-dubja, I understand and agree with your T-Rex analogy of Royals. We, here in Mississippi, are loathe to break tradition, so we don't!

It boils down to this...Royals want their spawn to be of Royal blood. What better way to insure that than begetting with members of the Royal Fambly?

Anyone for "Spin the Bottle"?

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:09 PM

Little Hawk, this one's for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:04 PM

"Kreegah!" is not a "Turok, Son of Stone" expression. It's a "Tarzan of the Apes" expression. For shame, Tweed! Get with the program.

Important "Turok, Sone of Stone" expressions are:

HONK! GAH-HONK!!! (uttered by annoyed or hungry dinosaurs)

RUNK!!! (uttered by dying dinosaurs)

There may be others too...I'll look into it.

NEWSFLASH!!! While purchasing a copy of "Liberty Meadows" (the World's greatest and funniest comic) at the local comic shop a few days ago I couldn't help but notice that there were AT LEAST 8 COPIES of the old "Turok" comics for sale!!!!!!!   At an average of $8 Canadian each...

I expect an avalanche of frantic, hyperventilating comic fans to descend on Orillia shortly...be warned that security will be heavy, and be prepared to bid high for these beauties, now that the cat is officially out of the bag!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:01 PM

No, no, NO! C sharp! Or maybe D sharp. Or F. Anyway, I completely disagree. Again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 27 May 03 - 07:53 PM

O lord habv mercy...Little Harg haz remissed into the Son Obv Stone agin! Whar iz Khnadgarz? Why iz he forgotten us....We iz lost in the Land that Time Forgot....Whar wiring harnazez are become sorry ass excuses...and no good blues wabz heard by ar Khing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 03 - 12:06 PM

Bruce, that is a vile calumny upon the noble Tyrannosaurus Rex, and I should think you have seriously offended dinosaurs everywhere by saying it. If I were you I would not venture outside for some time...

In other words... KREEGAH!!!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 May 03 - 11:14 AM

Dear King khandu,

Please do not take the term "reprobate inbred" as a personal insult. It comes with the territory when one is a king. Just ask any of our UK Mudcatter friends to describe their own royal family in two words and, to a person, they will say, "inbred reprobates".

So it has been since the time of the dinosaurs. Royal inbreeding actually began with Tyrannosaurus Rex, the king of the dinosaurs. The two most notable things about T Rex are his big teeth and his short tiny arms. With such short arms it was impossible for an adolescent T Rex with raging hormones to achieve sexual release in the manner that normally equipped dinosaurs did. In other words, T Rex couldn't wank off. So, the young male would frequently just jump the nearest thing that looked screwable and that, more often than not, would be his own cousin or sister.

Sadly, even though modern royals have arms of normal length, the tendency toward cousin-porking that began all those millions of years ago is still with us today.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 08:53 AM



ALL the good candidates are gone. I was hoping Piggins would use this as a stepping stone to the presidency.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: harpgirl
Date: 26 May 03 - 10:02 PM

...I finally met (Bee-dubya-ell) Bruce at the Florida Folk Festival. My girlfriends "The Muses", thought he was really cute. He's married so don't get any ideas. She's nice, too! harpy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 May 03 - 08:48 PM

"I was greatly looking forward to assisting Mr. Piggins in his bid to oust the reprobate inbred King khandu" and "I have alienated myself from my King and seriously doubt that getting back in his good graces is in the cards"

In one breath, you speak disparagingly of me and, in the next, you seem to desire my "good graces".

I like that quality in a man...double-mindedness! It shows the ability to see both sides at once! What a gifted fellow you are, Mr bee-dubya!

So sad to hear of Slim's untragic and timely death. I shall observe a moment of silence in his honor tonight while I am having porkchops.

However, I must say that I am pleased you have rejoined us here at MOAB. With both you and Tweed away, this place was not the same!

BTW, bwl, If I do leave my throne, it will be voluntarily. I am not being deposed, nor disposed! However, since I first made my announcement, I have been barraged with missives demanding that I retain my hallowed Throne. I am seriously considering this!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 03 - 08:27 PM

Wal, BWL, I mean, how was ya to know? Right? I can't count the number of royalty I have inadvertantly alienized, NOR the number of pure-dee aliens I have accidentally royalized. Sometyimes it gets so I can't tell whether I am exercising my royalizing compulsion on some extra-T thinly disguised as a human being, or just pissing off a properly-elevated monarch. But you gotta keep moving on, ya know what I mean?

It'll all come out in the wash, believe me -- or the graveyard, whichever comes first...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 May 03 - 08:06 PM

Well, folks, I'm back from my annual pilgrimage to The Florida Folk Festival way down upon the Suwannee River and I'm here to tell you that life can certainly take some funny turns while you're out in the woods fending off the ticks and chiggers. As you may recall from my pre-festival posts, Mr. Slimuel J. (Slim) Piggins, a Vietnamese potbellied pig, had agreed to become the Porcine Party's candidate for King of Mississippi and I had agreed to be his campaign manager. I was greatly looking forward to assisting Mr. Piggins in his bid to oust the reprobate inbred King khandu from that hallowed throne. I had planned on beginning my tenure in that position upon my safe arrival home from the festival, and hoped that Mr. Piggins would await my counsel before beginning his campaign in earnest.
.
However, unbeknownst to me, Mr. Piggins decided to take it into his head to do a little campaigning while I was off pickin' and such. In fact, ole Slim decided to make an appearance at a Memorial Day barbecue hosted by a volunteer fire department over in the Biloxi, Mississippi area and there seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding. I can't really blame the volunteer firemen for what happened because I doubt they had ever seen a Vietnamese potbellied pig running for King of Mississippi before. Anyway, ole Slim came trottin' up to the barbecue with a basketful of "Vote for Slim" balloons and this ole boy named Ralph held out an apple and said, "Nice piggy", and ole Slim bein' a sucker for a good apple... well, there's really no gentle way to put it... in just a few minutes poor ole Slim wasn't just at the barbecue, he was the barbecue.

So, now I find myself lost in the vacuum I have created for myself by my own feckless and opportunistic nature. I have alienated myself from my King and seriously doubt that getting back in his good graces is in the cards. And the chances of any other domestic farm animals running for public office and needing a campaign manager just don't look too promising. (Well, there is that one horse's ass that's in The White House, but I think he's already got someone in mind.) Perhaps I will just go back to being an idjit as it seems to be the calling to which I am best suited.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 03 - 12:12 PM

All I get is sound. but he sure plays fine!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 03 - 11:24 AM

Hey, very nice!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 26 May 03 - 10:57 AM

Need a little more? Here's one at Mz.Mary's house early that morning. Mz.Mary lives way out on a gravel road and her flowers grow well out there. She is a gentle soul and would have played her guitar for us (she is learning how to) except the power company came and took her meter off the wall of her shack. Of course that means she can't run her water pump either, but she was so happy to see Daniel and his Mother and to make Bobertz and me anyhow. I have two bits of river gravel from her front yard which are going in the mojo bag. She is a beautiful beautiful woman.

Slick Plays for Mz.Mary


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 26 May 03 - 10:47 AM

That may well be Little Hawk, but I am a renegade of sorts and will post this musical video clip from day two of me and the Boberdz' Mizippi expedition. This is Slick Ballinger playing on a porch outside Como Mizippi on Saturday. Great-great Grandma likes hiz music considerable az you will see. I've never seen a musician effect people the way Daniel does. This sorta thing went on for two days at various juke joints, bars and many front porches.
By the way, Mississippi is one beautiful place and the Hill Country is like heaven on earth!
Slick Plays, Great-Great Grandma Starts a Dance

Yerz in Renegade non-BS,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 03 - 09:46 AM

Got that right, Aussie. What Khandu figured was to create a thread that would attract all us BS'rs like shit attracting flies, and keep us off the rest of the forum. It's working fairly well. I figure that we will easily run it up to 1,000 posts long before George Bush launches his next pre-emptive war. I hope so, anyway.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Li'l Aussie Bleeder
Date: 26 May 03 - 06:33 AM

I get the impression that a few folks a most adept at shooting their mouths off (hee, not a pretty picture)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 May 03 - 11:23 PM

The Tweed is Back!!! Tis a pleasure to have you back in Mudcatville! Can't wait to hear yore fine tales of drunkeness and blues music!

I told my many subjects to treat you royally whenever you got to Mississippi, cause even though you threw it away, you were once a Royal Consort and shall forever be treated as one!

Any new BS to add to the old BS here at the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS? That's the wunnerful thing about BS...you can take all different kinds of the stuff and it'll mix in with the rest and still be BS!!!

Anyone for parcheesi?

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 03 - 09:37 PM

I found a good one, LH!! A really good one!! It was up in the air and said "Goodyear" on the side!!!!!

Thank God I live in Idaho now and nobody comments on your quad fifties!! Can't WAIT for rabbit season!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 25 May 03 - 09:30 PM

Well, I see the garden haz devolved to smothering chickens and Shatnerspeak since I last took my leave for the frontiers ob Khnadzoo's Reaml!

Boberdz is still on the road, or mebbe haz got a motel room by now) and iz headed back to the P-Vine. We had many consecutive adventures down there this year and I will have some sort ob report wif pictures and mebbe a short video if I got enough webspace left to run it all. People, the hill country of ar Khing's state iz most special and populated by the finest folks I have ever encountered. And that ain't no BS neither...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 May 03 - 08:29 PM

I just got three (count'em...three) PMs from different members of the Mudcat Hierarchy thanking me for this thread. They all said that I had done a great service in creating it because it has kept most of the Mudcat undesirables (and their ilk) too busy to bother the more "serious-minded" members.

And there are those who say there is no God!

k


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