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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 11 May 12 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 11 May 12 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 10 May 12 - 11:18 PM
Acme 10 May 12 - 11:12 PM
Rapparee 10 May 12 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 May 12 - 08:14 PM
Amos 10 May 12 - 02:38 PM
Rapparee 10 May 12 - 02:31 PM
Amos 10 May 12 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 10 May 12 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 10 May 12 - 09:13 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 May 12 - 01:31 AM
Acme 10 May 12 - 12:09 AM
Rapparee 09 May 12 - 09:43 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 09 May 12 - 08:22 PM
Rapparee 09 May 12 - 07:14 PM
Bobert 09 May 12 - 05:02 PM
Amos 09 May 12 - 04:50 PM
Acme 09 May 12 - 11:17 AM
Amos 09 May 12 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 09 May 12 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 08 May 12 - 01:08 PM
Amos 08 May 12 - 12:52 PM
Amos 08 May 12 - 10:42 AM
Acme 08 May 12 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 08 May 12 - 08:44 AM
Rapparee 07 May 12 - 07:09 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 May 12 - 06:54 PM
Rapparee 07 May 12 - 06:44 PM
Amos 07 May 12 - 04:48 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 May 12 - 03:12 PM
Rapparee 07 May 12 - 02:57 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 May 12 - 02:52 PM
Amos 07 May 12 - 02:15 PM
Amos 07 May 12 - 11:08 AM
Acme 07 May 12 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 07 May 12 - 10:03 AM
gnu 06 May 12 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 06 May 12 - 10:02 PM
gnu 06 May 12 - 09:02 PM
gnu 06 May 12 - 05:09 PM
Rapparee 06 May 12 - 04:59 PM
Acme 06 May 12 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 06 May 12 - 08:22 AM
Rapparee 06 May 12 - 08:21 AM
Amos 06 May 12 - 01:41 AM
Rapparee 05 May 12 - 10:04 PM
gnu 05 May 12 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 05 May 12 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 05 May 12 - 07:19 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 12 - 11:58 AM

Ya know, Rapp, if you spend ALL your time in the gutter, the only time you'll ever see Mom is when she comes down there looking for you!! Never thought of that angle, I suppose.

A plaintive, tear-soaked ballad on the lines of "Father, dear Father, come home with me now--the clock in the steeple strikes one!" could be composed on this theme. A careworn and neglected Mom fearfully traipses from rundown bar to rundown bar, looking in every flea-bitten booze-rotted corner for her wayward son. Pathos!! Music!! Harmony!! ANd MORE pathos!! Who could ask for anythning more entertaining?!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 12 - 10:38 AM

Once again I find poor Mom near the bottom, wedged between a bulge in someone's clothing and Democrats bailing.

For shame, y'all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 11:18 PM

Google Earth is composed of old satellite images -- not current stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 12 - 11:12 PM

The young pup's stuff is in the truck and he's off grading end of semester projects for final grades. I am sitting in the dorm courtyard reading all about Mudcatland on my phone. The kid is tuckered out. We'll check Google Earth later to see if they updated that rooftop yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 08:22 PM

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you'd remember it if you were born yesterday. Were you then born today? Do you remember today? Do you know to whom you were born? I understand that your mother left you on the Vicar's doorstep with a note reading, "Take my baby -- PLEASE!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 May 12 - 08:14 PM

Don't flippin' try and outwit me, Amos and Rap! Cos if you do you are gonna looze. So don't even flippin' think about it, eh? I was not born yesterday.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 12 - 02:38 PM

The City of San Diego not only com[pleted a long project of undergrounding all the utility lines in our neighborhood, on time and on budget, but they also gave us a free tree. So we now have a sturdy young Jacaranda tree in the verge in front of our house, which in due course will explode with delicate purple flowers in all directions.

I have to give them credit--their project management and customer communication were impeccable. Very pleased with the whole thing, even though it tool a long time. Now our local skyline is free of ugly wires.


A



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 02:31 PM

Shame, if it's "cristal plane fer any fool to see" then, since it is obvious to you, you must be a fool.

But we knew that all along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 12 - 12:24 PM

Ya know, Shane, I've held up MOAB Mom single handed for many years, and I've had your Mom hold me up single handed, too, as well as with other elenments of her physiology, and MOAB Mom is definitely better.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 09:15 AM

Stilly, the Legionairres and Legionettes have reproduced Flat Mom and put it on the roof -- minus the all the fingers of both hands save one on each. Even the helicopter ambulance pilot is annoyed now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 09:13 AM

Shame, I've known of many owls that lived in "shithouses." They were all fine, well-reasoned owls who did what owls do: give a hoot, reproduce and eat mice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 May 12 - 01:31 AM

One thing my Mom is NOT is flat! No McBride women are EVER flat, eh? Not a flippin' chance!

See? I told you my Mom is better than yours! No word of a lie, eh?

Look, I wanta tell youse people somethin' dead seryous here, okay? You are all nuts. Yer mentally incomptinant. That is cristal plane fer any fool to see from all the weerd stuff you keep writin'. It cannot be true. So you are nuts. Mentally flipt. Crazy as a shithouse owl. You need prefessionall help, eh? Get some.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 12 - 12:09 AM

MOM supervised some work here at my friend's house today, and when the storage shed was cleaned up, everything on shelves and lots of floor space exposed, she announced that on the next visit she'll use that as her bedroom, there's a sleeping bag and a cot so she's set. I think this is partly because she can come and go (this is off the garage, not attached to the house - it's where the golf cart would go, if one owned a golf cart) without waking everyone. I don't know where she would want to go in the desert at night.

She said that flat version of her can be placed on the flat roof of the Legion Hovel so the Google Earth folks see her waving at everyone else on the planet if they zoom in on her part of Mudcat town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 12 - 09:43 PM

Gee, Shame. I learn stuff from you all the time. I didn't know until now that horses had their mouth under their tail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 May 12 - 08:22 PM

Word on the street is that youse people are all majer flipheads! None of you are cool dudes, eh? Not like me. I feel sorry abowt the flippin' ENVY that flippin' tares at yer hearts when youse think about yer M-T lives and, like, hafta face that youse are definnitly not even slitely cool at all and you ain't gettin' none neether...cos you ain't cool. If you was to walk down the streets of my town the people here would laff and point at you, eh? They would say "What a buncha flippin' LOOSERS! Look! There goes a flippin' looser! And there's a nuther one. Holy Flip!"

- Shane

p.s. My Mom has done way worse flippin' things than ANY of that stuff youse posted about yer Mom! Yer Mom is just a sorry also-ran and don't flippin' rate too high, eh? You hearn it here, strait from the horse's mouth. No word of a flippin' lie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 12 - 07:14 PM

No! NO Flat Moms!!The place has a bad enough name as it is!

I have taken what I found and have properly disposed of it. Hereinafter it shall be ensconced in the Secret Proceedings Chamber of the Legion Hovel, right behind the fake human skull with the (electric) candle on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 09 May 12 - 05:02 PM

First of all, what's with draggin' mom around by the hair with Mom's Day right around the corner...

But never mind that... Here's the deal... Word on the street is that since 40,000 Amos has purchased and installed the the very special version of SpeedPost911S and is poised to wipe out all the competition for the highly valued 45,000th post which he plans on securing and selling on Ebay...

So ya'll be forewarned...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 12 - 04:50 PM

It's bad enough that Mom's name should be taken in vain and her repute dragged through the mud by imaginary characters. Going around creating imaginary Moms is a bit much, I should think; one doesn't like to imagine what the consequences might be if the thing were to multiply. does one? Taske off, so to speak? No, one does not. Not a bit of it.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 May 12 - 11:17 AM

What you found out there, Rap, was a big version of the "Flat Stanley" idea - a "Flat MOAB MOM" that someone wanted to leave by the roadside to see who would pick it up and leave it somewhere else. Alas, it was too large to fit in most passenger cars and last I heard it had been shoved into some kind of door support on a slow-moving west-bound freight train. It blew off and you have now located it. Maybe you can take it down to the Legion Hovel and put it behind the bar to glare at customers.

MOM is here in the Sonoran desert and is just fine, thank you very much! She's going to "supervise" while I help my friend clear out her storage room and take stuff to donate to a local thrift store.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 12 - 10:44 AM

How very nice for YOU, Michael!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 12 - 10:04 AM

SO!!!

I find poor Mom fourth from the bottom, consorting with "BS: Did dinos' farts cause their extinction?" and something about an illicit meeting with someone named "Jill"!!!

Drunk again, of course, even though Stilly said Mom was finally drying out, a soggy old cigar butt in her lips, covered with trash and bits of styrofoam packing pellets, her clothing ripped and wet -- don't you people care???? I can't do it all and you know she slips away because she's a cunning old broad gal.

Well, she's back home now. I guess we'll have to go back to the leg irons and wall chains.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 12 - 01:08 PM

How very nice for you, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 12 - 12:52 PM

Ha!

Ha!


Ha!


Ha!! 44721!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 12 - 10:42 AM

Nice to hear she's staying dry!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 12 - 09:58 AM

We wrote yesterday but it didn't stick. MOM is having a great time, and I think "drying out" is frankly doing her some good. No shakes or anything like that. Clearing the brain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 12 - 08:44 AM

Chongo has put on a few pounds, you'll notice. Not exactly in shape for the election OR chasing after anything. His belly unbalances him if he stands up and drags on the ground if he walks. Perhaps liposuction?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 12 - 07:09 PM

Well, Chongo, I gotta admit you do look better than W did. And I'll bet your ethics and stuff are better than Nixon's. Otherwise, I'd rate you right up there with, oh, Millard Filmore or Chester A. Arthur or Warren Harding or maybe Taft as presidential material. Especially Taft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 May 12 - 06:54 PM

Lissen, bozos, I been on tour extensively for the APP in the last coupla election campaigns and the present one too, and I have passed the tourin' test with flyin' colors. I get a big response everywhere I go. People are hungry for REAL change, and that is my main sellin' point, aside from my good looks, wit, and suave style.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 12 - 06:44 PM

For everything, Turing, Turing
There is an answer, Turing, Turing....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 12 - 04:48 PM

Well, jeeze, you flea-bit half-assed hant, you ain't gonna pass a Turing test either. Howja like DEM apples?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 May 12 - 03:12 PM

Yeah, sure I'd believe in you if ya did that. But you haven't. And you ain't gonna.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 12 - 02:57 PM

Will you believe in me if I plug you with 255-grain soft lead .45 Colt bullet? Or will I have to use 4-oh buckshot? Or you can sit around and close your eyes real tight and say, "I DO believe in Rapparee! I DO believe in Rapparee!" I suggest doing this in public.

Besides, Chongo fails the Turing Test.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 May 12 - 02:52 PM

If any of youse people want me to take you at all seriously, you gotta prove to me that yer real first. For all I know, you could be nothin' but a digital illusion created by some pimply-faced soda jerk with too much time on his hands.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 12 - 02:15 PM

Stilly, you better not stay in Tucson any longer than ya hafta. It'll dry you all up, not a good thing, and certainly not deserved. Come out to the Pacific coast for a bit, splash in the surf, talk to some seals (the pinnipeds, not the US Navy variety) and get a free lunch!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 12 - 11:08 AM

hI, mAW! Has Stilly dragged you into California or something?

We are decided that we will take a week in the Fall and visit YEllowstone and environs. But we will not drive all the way to the Badlands.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 May 12 - 10:15 AM

Good job, Gary. And Rap, I just waved that cartoon in front of Moonglow. I suspect she already knows the truth of it.

Bright and warm here in the Land of the Lotus Eaters (a bit east of LaLa land). MOM's having a good time but said the sun comes up awfully early here (she refused to reset her watch).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 12 - 10:03 AM

Truth....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 12 - 10:26 PM

I will share. I am gonna give my papergirl a shitload. She gave Mum and I a note about leaving her route as of yesterday because she got a part time job. She won $250 partly because I praised her up to her boss when I called to get a meassage to her to knock on my door so I could give her Xmas cards (with tips) from Mum and me. After we got the note, I put a note in the mailbox asking her to knock on my door... wanted to give her one last card of thanks.

She did. The card contained a sum of money and a serious thank you. What she gave us was FAR MORE... she said that because of us, she had the confidence to apply for a part time job and got it!

I know that doesn't sound like much but it's a big deal to me and to Mum as well as her. 6AM and slogging through snow and rain and wind for little pay with bad arthritis. If there is a better reason for me to win the lotto, I'd like to hear it.

Of course, I'll send Chongo a large cheque too. Too bad he won't be able to cash it because he doesn't exist either.

The fookin moon still can't be seen and I can't sleep. Ain't that a bitch?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 12 - 10:02 PM

If you win you gotta share and share alike.

Mom said so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 12 - 09:02 PM

Well, it's 22:00 and I still can't see the moon because of the big apartment buildings next to my house so fuck it. I am going Oggies soon. I have shit to do early in the morn. I have to buy a lotto ticket for the next draw on Wednesday. I KNOW I am gonna win THIS time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 12 - 05:09 PM

Only cloud here last night but I shall attempt to stay awake until about 21:30 to view Luna tonight. Since I was nine years old, I've had a special fondness for the moon and stars. My old man taught me many things about reading the night sky as it relates to farming and hunting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 12 - 04:59 PM

I'm surprised they didn't take her suggestion.

Again, I've donated the number to PETOBEN.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 12 - 12:47 PM

That's a mighty fine looking large number, Rap. Do you have room on the shelf for it?

Warm, lovely weather here. MOM enjoyed the ride but you should have heard her at the rest stop yesterday when a family rolled up and parked next to us, got out and proceeded to cough, spit, blow noses (onto the ground, no tissues or anything) and smoke. She said out loud that all that was missing was taking a dump right there on the concrete. They left suddenly. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 12 - 08:22 AM

another hundred.

44700.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 12 - 08:21 AM

Ah, well. Another day


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 12 - 01:41 AM

Back from a great sushi dinner with the Physicist.

Say, the old moon is in apogee tonight and looks bigger than Chicago. I can practically see the footprints on her with the naked eye, except I never let my eyes wander around naked.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 12 - 10:04 PM

You can buy them over the WWW. Now you can have your very own, right in your own home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 12 - 08:53 PM

I'd like to super soak Jamie Lee. I'll bet she looks even better in a wet t-shirt. Sorry, but I am a MALE when it comes to titties.

I just like titties. Show me a man what don't like titties. Ain't none.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 12 - 08:40 PM

Rip-roarin' gunfight downtown this afternoon. Puke Williams shot it out with Skillethead Taylor. Skillethead drew first, but Puke got the first shot on target.

Both left the street soaked. Man, these new super-soakers are something!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 12 - 07:19 PM

Oh, okay. I didn't know who she was.


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