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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 07:10 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 04:44 PM
Bill D 10 Apr 12 - 04:26 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 03:54 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:30 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:28 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:27 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM
Will Fly 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 03:03 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:50 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 01:58 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 01:44 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 Apr 12 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 12 - 09:48 AM
Acme 09 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 12 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 12 - 09:05 PM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 06:42 PM
gnu 09 Apr 12 - 05:54 PM
khandu 09 Apr 12 - 05:22 PM
khandu 09 Apr 12 - 05:19 PM
Amos 09 Apr 12 - 02:20 PM
gnu 09 Apr 12 - 01:55 PM
Acme 09 Apr 12 - 01:25 PM
GUEST,YOUR MOTHER MOAB 09 Apr 12 - 12:53 PM
Amos 09 Apr 12 - 12:39 PM
Amos 09 Apr 12 - 12:35 PM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 10:44 AM
GUEST,Granny Dom 09 Apr 12 - 10:24 AM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 10:15 AM
khandu 09 Apr 12 - 10:09 AM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 09:35 AM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 12 - 07:47 AM
Amos 08 Apr 12 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 12 - 08:59 PM
Amos 08 Apr 12 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 12 - 08:37 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 12 - 07:09 PM
Acme 08 Apr 12 - 06:28 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 12 - 05:02 PM
Acme 08 Apr 12 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 12 - 03:01 PM
gnu 08 Apr 12 - 01:50 PM
Amos 08 Apr 12 - 01:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM

Think it over?


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Subject: My Cousin-In-Law's Girlfriend's Cousin of MOAB
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM

See? It could become "The Hairdresser of My Cousin-In-Law's Best Friend's Aunt's Great-Half-Uncle's Maternal Grandfather's Great-Aunt's Mother of All BS Threads" -- or worse.

STOP, Little Hawk, in the name of love!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 07:10 PM

Oh, for sure; having exposed yourself to the most profound and virulent calumnies known to Mom. Some kinda fun, I am sure. If you keep laughing up your sleeve like that you are likely to fall in, and THEN where will you be? Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 04:44 PM

No, Bill, he's much too humble and harassed a man to ever dream of posting here. He's been beaten down by the vicissitudes of life, living in a crummy town, and suffering through a bad marriage. He barely dares to life his head above the desk.

I just wanted him to have a brief moment of recognition, that's all. A brief hour of...well, not glory...but at least...acknowledgement?

gnu - You're quite right. Granny does wear army boots. Remember the "Hell's Grannys" skit on Monty Python's? She's even meaner than they were.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 04:26 PM

Oh lordy... we expect Uncle Harold to start posting now, I suppose...

Little Hawk, who seems to 'know' him, might have an inkling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:54 PM

Yer grandmother wears army boots. And, Uncle Harry was a mean drunk. Gramma could tell ya stories if she could remember thru her alcoholic haze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:30 PM

But, my good fellow, I am not experiencing any stress here. I am chuckling down my sleeve, I assure you. I am having fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:28 PM

that should read: "wields tremendous power"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:27 PM

It was Granny's thread, Will, not Auntie's. I'm sad to say that the more fanatical inmates of the Mother of all BS Threads prevailed somehow upon the management here (whether by bribery, threats, or collusion, I can't say) to subsume the Grandmother's posts into the Mother of All BS threads. A shocking abuse of power! ;-) However, those posts are still there in that thread, so Granny yet lives, I am happy to say. She wield tremendous power! This is why they fear her so. The Mother is a mere feeble noise in the wind compared to the Grandmother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM

A crock of a crock is still a crock, old son. Let Harold fade and crumble over the far edge of the radar screen. He drank too much for his own good, anyway.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Will Fly
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM

Hey, LH - what happened to Auntie's thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:03 PM

Amos has obviously bribed or otherwise influenced one of the moderators to combine the Grandmother of all BS Threads into this one. A cheap trick. A shoddy maneuver. One that would be taken only by the terminally insecure and hidebound sort of mentality...but...(shrug)...do I really care?



You are growing paranoid in your own delusions, my friend. I suggest a vacation for you, to re-center yourself and regain your composure. All this stress is threatening to deprive Mom of one of her most brilliant sprats, so please take the necessary steps to restore your familial equanimity.


A


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Subject: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM

This is the Uncle's Thread. The Uncle of all BS. Uncles don't tend to get much notice in this world. They are seldom mentioned, seldom much appreciated. This is sad.

So....this is the Uncle of BS's brief moment in the Sun. It may only last a minute or two. Maybe less!

Savour it while you can. ;-D

The Uncle of all BS is named Harold. Uncle Harold of BS. He is Mom's elder brother. He works as an accountant, and lives in Scranton, New York. It's not as bad as living in Schenectady! But still, pretty damn awful. His wife has little respect for him, and his kids barely know he's alive. His work is boring and repetitive. He has few friends. His dog loves him. His future looks like a lot more of the same, but what if the dog gets old and dies? Then what?

Spare a moment's thought and a prayer, for the unappreciated and unsung Uncle of All BS....poor Harold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:50 PM

Now, watch for further relatives of "Mom" to make cameo appearances. They too, after all, deserve their moment in the Sun! ;-) Even if it's only a very short moment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM

My "delusions", my good sir, occur by my own fully conscious choice, not by default. I am in control of them rather than they being in control of me. Therefore they are merely enjoyable fantasies that I play with, composed for my own amusement (and perhaps that of others), they are not dominating obsessions which place demands upon me. I wish I could say the same for the delusions of some others here. ;-) Note that it is those others who, for fear of damage to their particular form of delusion, insisted on recombining my independent thread into this one in order to preserve this one's supposed sanctity.

Who is more deluded? He who demands that another's freely expressed imagination be suppressed and proscribed or he who wishes merely to add his own imaginative views to those of others around him?

I have not censored any of you, nor would I if I had the power to. Some of you have chosen to censor me in a certain respect, by closing my thread and combining it into this one. Look to yourselves, therefore, for the erection of delusory defense mechanisms, not to me.

We all like to have fun, correct? ;-) But certain individuals here insist that the fun must only happen in the specific way that suits them. That's the problem with little dictators everywhere....they only see the humor in their own form of "fun"...and then pass a law or a decree to make it so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:58 PM

"your respective delusions" ???? Are you the pot or the kettle? Have you been smokin pot or makin tea with it? A fine kettle of fish I say!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:44 PM

Sure thing, BD. Calculus, right. I think you have to pass long division first.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 11:55 AM

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! I can't spend any more time here this week as I have a calculus test on Friday for which I must study, but good luck to all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 09:48 AM

And the ears to Stilly and Eisely. Olay!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM

A few thousand posts more and she'll be another character in the menagerie, along with the freds and Gluon et al.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:07 PM

I dedicate this, the 44,400th post, to khandu the Merciless (or whatever he calls himself these days).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:05 PM

As my old friend Elvis used to say, "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 06:42 PM

What utter silliness. ;-) What amazes me is that you people seem to take your "Mother" seriously, when all she is is a digital construct welded together out of your respective delusions of your own grandeur...or your excess of free time...it's a bit hard to say which is predominant.

Amos has obviously bribed or otherwise influenced one of the moderators to combine the Grandmother of all BS Threads into this one. A cheap trick. A shoddy maneuver. One that would be taken only by the terminally insecure and hidebound sort of mentality...but...(shrug)...do I really care?

Well, I would if it mattered. But it doesn't.

In any case, I consider Granny to be in charge around here, regardless of what you silly people say about it. Your puffery and your grandiose threats mean nothing to me. Granny Dom rules this roost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 05:54 PM

Chopped liver here?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 05:22 PM

PS...I salute thee, Amos, for you strongly held and boldly written denunciation of the goab and of her misguided and to be pitied creator!
SALUTE!

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 05:19 PM

Wha' hoppen'd? MOAB hath surely swallowed up the bogus "goab", digested her and hath shat her into the dungheap from which she was spawned! I am agog! My head doth truly spin like the proverbial pair of frilly purple panties! I am drunk with glee!! Haw! and again I say "Haw!".

a very proud of MOAB khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 02:20 PM

Not to mention the matricidal turncoat bestiality of Chongo.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 01:55 PM

Mzybe he has too many multiple personalites for one thread. Maybe they are intermingaling... the dumbness of Shane is putting strange ideas in his heads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 01:25 PM

Whoa. She sounds kinda pissed. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,YOUR MOTHER MOAB
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 12:53 PM

Little Hawk. YOU WERE WARNED, MY SON.

Don't fool around with Mother MOAB. I will not be diminished or diluted by your feeble attempts at spinoffs.
This is NOT network television.
This is PURE BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 12:39 PM

Ach, Leedle Hack, you are in no position to talk karma after what you have done to your own mother!! Banned you should be!! Such trash from that mouth of yours, I can't believe you'd talk to your own mudder with it! Oy, such a good fambly for you to turn out so rotten, you schlemiel. Why can't you be like khandu? Or at least get a good job like your twin brother Butthead? Him, a mother can be proud of. You, you schmuch, can just stay in the basement and play mit your dinglicheit, and make up such gobbage about your Mom you should be ashamed of!! Better you had been born a ditch digger!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 12:35 PM

Little Hawk has shown his true colors, and they are food-coloring and cheap vinyl to the core. This is the latest in his mismatched ventures into shallow self-glorification, egoistical flag-waving and spurious triviality as a life-long commitment. He brings a sense of disgust and a shadow of insulted didain to the sacred halls of MOAB and has revealed himself as a communist spy and six kinds of turncoat, a cheap fly-by-night whose keyboard will lie down for anyone's shekel, if only they will applaud afterwards. I say fie, fie.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:44 AM

Wi' Granny Dom here, there's little or nae chance that onyone will dare get oot o' line!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: GUEST,Granny Dom
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:24 AM

I will keep my eye on this thread indeed thon lad Little Hawk needs watchin. Anyone who disny BEHAVE will get skelped. NO lad I didny say Scalped nae matter how hairy ye are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:15 AM

Thank you, khandu, for lending your prestigious name to the GOABST. The fact that you have posted here should convince all skeptics that THIS, the GOABST, is the real deal, the ultimate in BS threads!

Granny has a nice cookie for you. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: khandu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:09 AM

I doth protest!
k


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Subject: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:35 AM

Yes! This long-suppressed thread has finally found its proper place in the Pantheon of Allmighty BS, and is the ultimate and crowning expression of the concept. It predates all other efforts of its kind, including (obviously) the well-known Mother of all BS threads.

Granny has arrived!

Feel free to post all sorts of meaningless drivel, solypsistic ramblings, and other pointless excess of that sort upon these hallowed pages. Knock yourselves out.

But try to keep tasteful! Granny is watching.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:28 AM

Tsk! When I think of all the bad karma you are accumulating by this cruel harassment of Shane...a lad who is, after all, nothing more than an innocent victim of his own deprived family background...

Have you no compassion? In another life you may end up just the way Shane has, and then who will you blame for it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 07:47 AM

Shame can't light a bulb with a switch, Amos. I'm not worried about him burning ANYTHING when he can't even light a cigarette -- he's the only person in the world addicted to smoking filters and even then he has to get someone else to light them. He once "lit a fire" when he was about 16 years old and it frightened him so much that he ran away from it -- it was his own and he succeeded. He'd heard that song by the and thought he'd roast some marshmallows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 10:39 PM

If Shane tries to burn your house down for your remarks, Rapp, you can always accuse him of plagiarizing the Doors: "Come on Baby, Light My Fie-er"...

I'll get my hat.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 08:59 PM

I say fie as well.

Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie,fie, fie, fie, fie, fie upon such a stinky bad idea!

Have you no shame?






(If you don't I'll lend you some as I have plenty to spare.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 08:49 PM

ANd the horse you rode in on.


Seriously, you of all people should understand that the MOAB is the Mother of ALL BS, and BS IS ALWAYS NEW!!!

Always.

You could go back to the first page of this thread and be completely delighted with the freshness and newness of each post.

We are not the scullions of dishwater you take us for, sirrah, and it reflects really poorly on your powers of discrimination that you choose tyo erect so puerile and groundless an array of accusations against your very siblings.

I say fie, really I do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 08:37 PM

Well, LH, it's like this. Some of us ARE tied to the Olde Wayse and kinda like them. But, because you asked, 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100110 01100110 01100101 01110010 01100101 01101110 01110100 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00101110

Now, the rest of the paragraph is in binary and that's computer talk so it should be good and new enough even for you. If not, 6d 61 79 62 65 20 74 68 69 73 20 69 73 2e


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 07:09 PM

Oh, that's the "Mither" thread you're speaking of, Stilly. Well, I refreshed it, yes, but what I am suggesting is a whole new Mother of all BS threads thread...number 2, that is. I haven't launched it as yet.

And mainly, I'm just trying to tease Amos and Rapparee... ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 06:28 PM

That may be your view, LH, but I can't speak or even TYPE in a Scots' brogue, so I have to bow out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 05:02 PM

Amos - "today is a day for starting up, heading out, kicking in and going forth."

Yes! And for posting on a brand new MOABS thread instead of hanging around on this old one. ;-)

Instead, what do I see here? I see a bunch of stubborn old scribes and pharisees clinging tenaciously to their ancient, ossified habits and rules of order, bitterly and jealously defending long established traditions, resisting any form of innovation, change or deviation from their rote habits and daily rituals! Fools, I say! The world changes constantly, yet you insist on remaining the same.

And so has it ever been! 99% of the people on this Earth would rather do for the 100,000th time exactly what they have always done in the past. The mere suggestion of change disturbs them! Why...if anyone were to press the point, he might end up being arrested, accused of blasphemy, and then crucified like a common criminal. ;-D

Hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 04:52 PM

Well Amos and Gary, it may be sunny and calm or snowy and muffled for raising the dead where you are, but here we are waking the dead with the din of the thunder and lightning.

I wanted the yard to get some rain, I need to finish weeding, but now I'll have to wait several days for it to dry enough to work in. [slaps forehead] Hope for a *little* rain, Get the dictionary definition of "gully washer." If the book has a photo, it's of the standing water in my back yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 03:01 PM

It's quite lovely here, a fine day, and I'm not looking at the roots of the grass. But I must admit that when I arose this morning I really needed that coffee -- I felt like I'd been dead for three days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 01:50 PM

I got it better'n that, buddy. 8" of snow and now it's mixed with rain. GLORIOUS SNOW! on Easter Sunday! I don't have to go to SiL's for supper. There really is an Easter Bunny!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 01:10 PM

It is a glorious Easter Sunday morning in Southern California, the faint traces of sea mist having been lifted into theblue by a warming sun. In our neighborhood, every tree is alive with birdsong, and the air is warm and golden in morning light. If one had to rise from the dead, rather than the more sensible path of simply moving on to some other life, this would be the day to do it. If one wished, alternatively, to start an uprising against the crass oppressive mercantile imperialism of the British, this would also be just the day. Suppose one wanted, as an alternative, to set out walking down a handy road, intent only on keeping on going on until some fine and magic entanglement befell? This, indeed, would be just the morning for such an adventure. In all things kind to life, today is a day for starting up, heading out, kicking in and going forth.

A
First Vowel


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