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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Eiseley 18 Mar 12 - 10:45 AM
gnu 17 Mar 12 - 01:29 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 17 Mar 12 - 11:59 AM
Rapparee 17 Mar 12 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 16 Mar 12 - 09:44 PM
gnu 16 Mar 12 - 09:29 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Mar 12 - 09:24 PM
Amos 16 Mar 12 - 08:24 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Mar 12 - 06:09 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 12 - 05:08 PM
Amos 16 Mar 12 - 04:16 PM
gnu 16 Mar 12 - 03:52 PM
Acme 16 Mar 12 - 03:26 PM
Eiseley 16 Mar 12 - 12:52 PM
Amos 16 Mar 12 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 16 Mar 12 - 10:44 AM
Acme 16 Mar 12 - 01:31 AM
Acme 15 Mar 12 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 12 - 11:22 PM
gnu 15 Mar 12 - 02:30 PM
Amos 15 Mar 12 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 14 Mar 12 - 11:22 PM
Acme 14 Mar 12 - 09:49 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 12 - 09:13 PM
gnu 14 Mar 12 - 07:01 PM
gnu 14 Mar 12 - 01:41 PM
gnu 14 Mar 12 - 01:02 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 12 - 11:35 AM
Rapparee 14 Mar 12 - 11:00 AM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 12 - 10:55 AM
Amos 14 Mar 12 - 10:33 AM
Acme 14 Mar 12 - 12:33 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 14 Mar 12 - 12:15 AM
GUEST,Kerchak 14 Mar 12 - 12:06 AM
Rapparee 13 Mar 12 - 11:38 PM
Amos 13 Mar 12 - 11:24 PM
Acme 13 Mar 12 - 03:47 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 13 Mar 12 - 02:58 PM
Amos 13 Mar 12 - 01:58 PM
Eiseley 13 Mar 12 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 12 - 11:44 PM
gnu 12 Mar 12 - 02:29 PM
Acme 12 Mar 12 - 01:54 PM
Amos 12 Mar 12 - 01:06 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Mar 12 - 12:24 PM
Eiseley 12 Mar 12 - 12:15 PM
Amos 12 Mar 12 - 12:09 PM
Amos 12 Mar 12 - 09:44 AM
Acme 12 Mar 12 - 12:41 AM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 12 - 11:38 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 10:45 AM

Rise and shine, MOM. The leprechauns have scattered, and I just de-gnomed the garden, so you can come sit on the sun porch and sip some hot tea and watch the rain.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 01:29 PM

I bought two tickets to the St. Pat's supper at St. Bernard's church. Lots of corned beef and cabbage and Irish Stew and such followed by a concert with lots of local talent (last time I played it there was a BIG crowd... well big to me... over 500). Gave them to little old Mrs. Murphy down the street. One son is a little "off" and the other has cancer bad and I don't know her daughters. I hope she found someone to take her. She must have or I think she would given the tickets back to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 11:59 AM

That ain't nothin' to the way I react to travellin' salesmen, specially them that are sellin' life insurance or vacumm cleaners. They are way more annoyin' than the religious types. I yell "Bundolo!" and wave the tommy gun in their face, and they are gone in a flash.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 10:06 AM

SURE AND BEGONIA!! 'Tis the day of the good Saint Patrick himself!! Happy St. Paddy's Day, Mom!!!!

And lay off the whisky, porter, and (YUCK!) green beer. And the cabbage -- you know what that does to your intestinal system.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 09:44 PM

I was rooming with a good Lutheran fella from Nigeria. He and some of his friends were all dressed up in Nigerian clothing, getting ready to leave for a show-and-tell about Nigeria at a local Lutheran Church (Missouri Synod, not Evangelical). Some Jesus Freaks knocked at the door, and he stood there and very politely listened to them. Then he said, "Would you like to come in? We about to sacrifice a goat and since I listened to you I think that you should participate with us."

They left. Hurriedly. (He was a graduate of Oxford.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 09:29 PM

Them JWs DO ask for a donation. TEN CENTS for that there mag. I used to accept it and when they wanted TEN cents I would ask, "I thought you were here to save my Black Irish Catholic soul. Can't I have your "WORD" for free?" The answer was always an enthusiastic yes. I would say, "Good. I am almost out of asswipe."... and close the door.

I have mellowed over the years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 09:24 PM

Listen, pal, if you think religion is about nothin' but havin' an "imaginary playmate", you are way stupider than I ever even imagined you was. Tell me it ain't so. I don't wanna walk around feelin' sorry for you every day.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 08:24 PM

HEll, Chongo, you could tell them you're right in with almost all religions, being an imaginary playmate yourself!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 06:09 PM

Them JWs don't come to yer door askin' for donations. They come to talk about religion. All I usually have to do, though, is just open the door...and they are gone in seconds. I don't think they believe in bringin' any apes into their organization. Worse luck for them! If I get a chance, though, I ask 'em for a donation to the APP campaign fund.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 05:08 PM

Well, it's got a whole Disney-world thing going now. Not at all like I remembered it from the 1990s (I specify because some might thing I was there with Robert L. Parker et al.).

I am alone. The others have left me in a search for shops. Shops relating the the "Q-word." They seem to thing that SLC might have a quilt shop, even though they should know better. Besides, we're in South Jordan and everyone knows that the only thing in South Jordan is Cabela's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 04:16 PM

Great strategy. Eiseley, I love that little house carved out of a cave. Visited it years back, before MOAB spawned the BS industry.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 03:52 PM

SRS... spring arrived here just minutes ago. I saw my first JW. The two young lads declined to donate to the IWK Children's Hospital in Halifax. I keep a riggin from the IWK by the front door. When the JWs or the Cancer Society or the Kidney Foundation or the... I ask them for a donation to the IWK before they can say a word. Most don't. I say, "Have a nice day." and shut the door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 03:26 PM

Hmmm. I kicked some religious sorts out of my garden today. They had the temerity to ring the bell, bible in hand. "Get Lost!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 12:52 PM

MOAB, Utah, is a fine place. I like the house hollowed out of a hillside about 2 miles outside of the town. It stays a constant temperature year round and was One Man's Dream. It ranks right up there with some of the odd, religious gardens scattered around the country here and there.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 11:23 AM

Dedicated, unflagging orneriness is the price of eternal irritation. This is the creed of the House of Rapp.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 10:44 AM

Okay, it's a large and it says "Kids Love Moab Too!" It's pink and blue and yellow and has biking teddy bears on it. I thought it looked kinda small for a large, but that's the size you wanted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 01:31 AM

It's so warm here today I needed to turn on the ceiling fan in here. I hope I don't have to reprogram the thermostat for the air conditioning too soon. I like to have a couple of months (usually March and October) when the heat or cooling isn't needed. Windows are open, but there are a gazillion mosquitoes and gallinippers (mosquito hawks - they don't bite, just flap around a lot) out there because of the rain a couple of weeks ago, and again last weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 11:28 PM

Grrrrrrrrr!

I'll assume you're yanking my chain. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 11:22 PM

I'm leavin' MOAB (UT) tomorrow and headin' for South Jordan. Be home on Saturday evening.

Stilly, I got yer shirt. Like you said, 3XL and in a neat cammo pattern. It's a little 3-D, kinda like a ghillie suit, but you'll look like a tree with leaves blowin' in the wind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 02:30 PM

SRS... I make a mean pizza too. Or, used to. McCain's make a frozen pizza called Parisienne that is delicious and sales for $4 (almost twice that not on sale). Cooks in about 20 min at a preheat of 400F. No muss, no fuss. Creamy, cheesey, shroomy, spinachy flavour and all natural (yeah, I know).

Mine is better but Mum can't eat the stuff I lay on it so cooking one for just little old me just ain't worth the bother and price.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 10:52 AM

Young Rapparree to Utah's bound,
To tread the MOAB's holy ground--
The sacred font of all B.S.

The vortices that there abound
Can make an angel from a hound!
And may they Rapper bless.

But if he'll turn his damper down,
Or better stuff he'll now compound,
Is anybody's guess!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 11:22 PM

Dear Sons and Daughters of Mom and Amos too:

I am in MOAB, the Holy Ground, the Sacred Mount, the Holy of Holies. I will be here tonight, tomorrow, and tomorrow night and then I will have to leave because the Utter Spirituality of being here will become too much for a simple mortal like myself, even if I did create everything and everyone.

Boy, I sure did a good job here! Except for the bikers, hikers, kayakers, rafters, campers, and touroids in general and yuppies in particular it would be perfect. There is even a brewery, a bookstore, and a quilt shop (not in the same place).

And I have a "wooden nickel" from said Brewery (called with great imagination "The Moab Brewery"). I think that I will convert it into a pendant and offer it to the person who make the best offer.

Your sib and Mom's Fave Rave,
Raparree


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 09:49 PM

I make my own pizzas, so they're always perfect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 09:13 PM

Pizza is not food. It's entertainment. (Mind you, I have had pizza on rare occasions that was genuine food, but that's not the kind of pizza you generally get in North America.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 07:01 PM

5.5 hours later and I still feel uncomfortable. Pizza is not good for you, Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 01:41 PM

Oh dear. An Xlarge is an 18"!. Not heavily laden with toppings but very tastey. And, it's a good thing I dropped another pound since yesterday because I just ate 3.5 slices less the crust egdes and half of one crust standing at the kitchen counter. Mom liked her slice. She's having a beer with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 01:02 PM

$11.75 + tax = $13.28 all thru March so I am about to try an Xlarge with the works from Freddies Pizza. Wanna slice?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 11:35 AM

You may have gotten a couple of the words slightly wrong. Mangani is a tricky dialect. Tone of voice and eye contact are essential factors in establishing correct communication. It helps if the eyes are extremely closeset.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 11:00 AM

Depth? I write a love letter to Chumpgo in Mangani and you call it "depths?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 10:55 AM

That's pretty much the kind of decline I was bemoaning in my song "Cuthbert Country". Truly, 'tis sad, the banal depths to which these hallowed halls have sunk! If 'twere not for the heroic verses of poetry which occasionally peep through the enveloping clouds of dross that hang heavy about us, would there be any hope at all?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 10:33 AM

WHen times were good my Mother stood
In fields along the sea
And wandered down the sandy shores
With my sisters and with me
We'd dance along the line of waves
And madcap merry jest
Of freds and heads and spatulas
And khandu, and the rest.

We'd dream of castles in the air
With roast beef in the larder
And when we ran out of ideas
We'd work them even harder
We'd BS like the saints of yore
And quip just like we should
But that was quite a while before,
When times were good.

Now Mom lives in a city hut
Where all the shelves are dusty.
We lock and bar the doors up, but
The locks are old and rusty.
And on the curb the bullets fly
And she hides behind the sofa
And drunken yammering is heard
ANd we hide until its over.

The BS now is thin as gruel
Just idle, witless bragging
And Mom is nervous and afraid
Because the rent is lagging.
And bad jokes filter through the screens
And ooze out of the wood.
It's not at all the way it was
When times were good.

Mary Martin Smithereen-Price
Memories of Mother
Ballsy, Rasty, Grunt, New York, 1938


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 12:33 AM

MOM, close your window and ignore that nonsense going on out on the lawn. The police will be by soon enough to break it up. The closed windows will keep the pepper spray from drifting in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 12:15 AM

Hey, Kerchak! How yer coconuts hangin' these days? I am composin' a little song for the Tarmangani...gonna sing it for him before I put him to sleep...

"Oh, my momma was a big knuckledragger...
My daddy was a knuckledragger too...
One-a these days I'm gonna drag these knuckles...
All...Over...YOU!"

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kerchak
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 12:06 AM

Kreegah! Jeezus...there is gonna be some blood spilled in the Jungle tonight. Rapparee bundolo Chongo...Chongo bundolo Rapparee! KREE-GAH! A whole lotta serious bundolo is what we are gonna have here. Ready the Dum-Dum! Tarmangani Bundolo Mangani! Rakkkkkk!!! Gom! Gom!

I ain't heard such great fight talk since I left the old country. I'm gonna sell tickets to this one.

- Kerchak the Knuckledragger (and proud of it)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 12 - 11:38 PM

Rak, Chongo mal. Chongo tand Mangani; Chongo Nene blat! Chongo eho-kut b'yat. Tand-ramba, Chongo sopu -- Raparree bundolo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 12 - 11:24 PM

Chongo,

If you MUST project all your faults on some other entity, choose one less than 99.999% identical in the genome. It will be more entertaining.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 12 - 03:47 PM

Eiseley, I know that problem, but as it happens, as of last week I'm plumb out of teenagers. We had a little birthday dinner here last weekend and the kids examined, dissected, but generally consumed a small gourmet cake I picked up at the high end grocery. I guess I should have gone with the tried and true Betty Crocker box mix and a can of frosting. Or made it real special with Fluffy White Frosting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Mar 12 - 02:58 PM

I know yer problem, Rap. You are a deranged loner who drinks constantly and smokes heavily to boot. You got a penchant for strong language and acts of unthinkin' violence. Yer obsessed with guns. You imagine yerself to be a "tough guy", but a better description of you would be "unpalatable"...like a steak that's fulla gristle. You got poor bodily hygeine. You lust constantly after women and are fulla impure thoughts and solitary habits that are even worse. You figger the society all around you is deeply in yer debt when the real truth is...they barely know you exist! You think yer species is the highest form of life on Earth when the real fact is that you more resemble some kinda missin' link that if Darwin had come acrost it, he woulda had to rethink his whole damn theory!

Ook! Ook! ;-D

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 12 - 01:58 PM

Rapparee thinks ALL interstates are basically about intersection. It's a guy thing.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Mar 12 - 09:24 AM

My children are rebelling against the time change. It's not so bad when the clock is set back, but those teenagers think bed feels mighty good early in the morning. I suppose I think so too.

Rise and shine!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 11:44 PM

Hey, Chongo Chump! You think a .45 Colt is the answer for everything, doncha? Well, it ain't! A sawed-off 10 gauge with #4 buckshot will make even you think twice, punk.

Eiseley and my party passed as ships in the night, she heading north and we heading south. Fortunately, our paths did not do an Interstate intersect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 02:29 PM

Great tune, LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 01:54 PM

Eiseley, you can all take out the earplugs now. She's asleep in her recliner again and left the telly on - not many soaps left for her to watch these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 01:06 PM

I am delighted to see, that quite wisely
Our beautiful colleague, Ms Eiseley
Has come home where it's warmer
And nothing can harm her,
And she can post wit so concizeley!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 12:24 PM

I was readin' that last mind-numbin' post of yers, Amos, thinkin' it was what you yerself wanted to say, and sayin' to myself, "This sucker has finally disappeared totally down the tunnel of his own ravin' piehole and joined the ranks of lifeforms deservin' immediate and violent extinction...and then I realized at the end that you thought about the same about it as I did.

I think the best way to get people who talk that way to stop doin' so is to stick a Colt .45 in their face, put the hammer at full cock, and say: "Zip it, Roscoe or I squirt metal!"

Usually works pretty good, I find. They stop talkin'.

You could call it the exact opposite of the famous Gestapo interrogation technique.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 12:15 PM

Whew! I just drove in from a three week tour of the national parks from the Grand Canyon northwards. Bryce Canyon was chilly but beautiful, Zion National Park was warmer but the Zion Narrows track was still closed and high water was rushing down the Virgin River so we couldn't hike very far. Arches was windy until we found a quiet, hidden arch in a cave full of powder-soft sand. Then on to Yellowstone where Old Faithful had covered each tiny branch and twig with a coating of ice, and we ended up at Glacier where two bears must have left their den early from their hibernation and were prowling around the piney hillsides looking for fresh hikers and campers. It was too snowy there to do much but shiver.

MOM spent most of her time dozing in the back seat. She tried to read a bit, but after getting carsick all over the formations at Bryce Canyon she decided to sing instead. Did you know how long it takes to sing all the verses of 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall? It takes a VERY long time!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 12:09 PM

Here's the latest dope on transcendental dimensionality.
(Wikipedia)

"A Calabi?Yau manifold is a special type of manifold that shows up in certain branches of mathematics such as algebraic geometry, as well as in theoretical physics. Particularly in superstring theory, the extra dimensions of spacetime are sometimes conjectured to take the form of a 6-dimensional Calabi?Yau manifold.

Calabi?Yau manifolds are complex manifolds that are higher-dimensional analogues of K3 surfaces. They are sometimes defined as compact Kähler manifolds whose canonical bundle is trivial, though many other similar but inequivalent definitions are sometimes used. They were named "Calabi?Yau spaces" by Candelas et al. (1985) after E. Calabi (1954, 1957) who first studied them, and S. T. Yau (1978) who proved the Calabi conjecture that they have Ricci flat metrics. In superstring theory the extra dimensions of spacetime are sometimes conjectured to take the form of a 6-dimensional Calabi?Yau manifold, which led to the idea of mirror symmetry.

Definitions

There are many different inequivalent definitions of a Calabi?Yau manifold used by different authors. This section summarizes some of the more common definitions and the relations between them.

A Calabi?Yau n-fold or Calabi?Yau manifold of dimension n is sometimes defined as a compact n-dimensional Kähler manifold M satisfying one of the following equivalent conditions:

The canonical bundle of M is trivial.

M has a holomorphic n-form that vanishes nowhere.

The structure group of M can be reduced from U(n) to SU(n).

M has a Kähler metric with global holonomy contained in SU(n).

These conditions imply that the first integral Chern class c1(M) of M vanishes, but the converse is not true. The simplest examples where this happens are hyperelliptic surfaces, finite quotients of a complex torus of complex dimension 2, which have vanishing first integral Chen class but the canonical bundle is not trivial.

For a compact n-dimensional Kähler manifold M the following conditions are equivalent to each other, but are weaker than the conditions above, and are sometimes used as the definition of a Calabi?Yau manifold:

M has vanishing first real Chern class.
M has a Kähler metric with vanishing Ricci curvature.
M has a Kähler metric with local holonomy contained in SU(n).
A positive power of the canonical bundle of M is trivial.
M has a finite cover that has trivial canonical bundle.
M has a finite cover that is a product of a torus and a simply connected manifold with trivial canonical bundle."


What I want to know, Mom, is what happens to people that makes 'em talk like that? Is it a parasite of some kind?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 09:44 AM

Astray? HEll, Rap's the local guide to Astray. He's lost count of the number of parties he has led there.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 12 - 12:41 AM

I like that, Little Hawk.

Anyone heard from Rap lately? I hope he's not lost in the desert somewhere. Watch out for those GPS units in places like that, they'll lead you astray.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 12 - 11:38 PM

Thanks, Amos! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Chongo remarked, "Not bad, for a human."


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