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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Nov 03 - 10:20 PM
Amos 19 Nov 03 - 10:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Nov 03 - 10:39 PM
GUEST,Marminator 19 Nov 03 - 10:45 PM
Amos 19 Nov 03 - 11:43 PM
Little Hawk 19 Nov 03 - 11:54 PM
Rustic Rebel 20 Nov 03 - 03:28 AM
Rapparee 20 Nov 03 - 09:07 AM
Amos 20 Nov 03 - 10:47 AM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 20 Nov 03 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 03 - 03:46 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 20 Nov 03 - 03:51 PM
Amos 20 Nov 03 - 04:55 PM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 20 Nov 03 - 05:27 PM
khandu 20 Nov 03 - 08:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Nov 03 - 09:05 PM
Amos 20 Nov 03 - 09:14 PM
khandu 20 Nov 03 - 09:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Nov 03 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 03 - 10:54 PM
khandu 20 Nov 03 - 10:57 PM
Amos 20 Nov 03 - 11:06 PM
GUEST,freds 20 Nov 03 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 03 - 11:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Nov 03 - 12:00 AM
khandu 21 Nov 03 - 08:51 AM
Rapparee 21 Nov 03 - 09:06 AM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 09:15 AM
Tweed 21 Nov 03 - 11:19 AM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 11:38 AM
khandu 21 Nov 03 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 03 - 06:39 PM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 06:47 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 03 - 07:15 PM
GUEST,Clareling 21 Nov 03 - 07:24 PM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 08:17 PM
khandu 21 Nov 03 - 09:03 PM
GUEST,Clareling 21 Nov 03 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 03 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Bee-dudya on Son's 'Puter 22 Nov 03 - 08:50 PM
khandu 23 Nov 03 - 07:31 PM
Rapparee 23 Nov 03 - 07:35 PM
khandu 23 Nov 03 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 03 - 08:15 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 03 - 08:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Nov 03 - 08:58 PM
khandu 25 Nov 03 - 10:58 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 03 - 11:17 PM
Amos 25 Nov 03 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 03 - 08:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:20 PM

Perhaps Khandu threw it away -- tossed his cookie, so to speak. That is, assuming that he isn't resting heavily on some freds' stomach (do they have stomachs do you suppose?).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:21 PM

Aw, I take it back, then, khandu -- it's just BWL setting you up, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:39 PM

Moi? Je n'ai aucune idée de ce que vous parlez.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Marminator
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:45 PM

Vegemite! Kill! Eat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 11:43 PM

Marminator, gentil Marminator
Marminator, je te plumerais!!
Je te plumerais la druchiole
Je to plumerais la druchiole
druchiole
druchiole
Ohhhh-ohhhh!

Marminator, gentil Marminator
Marminator, je te plumerais!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 11:54 PM

Merde sainte dans un pot de fer ! Je vois burlesque français. C'est merveilleux ! Les Français ont de telles manières sophistiquées de parler d'une façon blessante. C'est un harbinger de meilleurs jours à venir.

- Petit Faucon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 03:28 AM

There ya go speakin' some foreign language again...


As proclaimed *Poet Lariat from another age gone by, I feel it could possibly be my rightfully owned duty and self absorbed heirarchy to proclaim that Blind Drunk in Blind River is perfectly atuned to this entire thread and I wholeheartedly agree that we should all get laid.

I will see what I can do about this.


*Poet Lariat= Goat roper that can recite poetry in the dark, under a new moon, while lassoing a goat from 52 yards or better, meanwhile contemplating my existance on earth and evaluating it's meaning and how I can even speak poetic verse when I've only just begun to evolve into a knowing human spieces, of a goat roping, fred related being.


Kandu- Do you still have the loincloth you ran off wearing,or did I see it being flung around by the wind on the weather vane that was riding on the cows back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 09:07 AM

RR, the longest lariat in common use (and it's not all that common) is sixty feet. I've heard of some twice that, but 52 yards? Thats 156 feet of 3/8ths inch (or better) rope, and that's a lot of rope. Since it needs some stiffness, you must use a pickup truck to carry the coil around.

Hmmm...since you're roping at 52 yards you must have more rope than that. Yeah, I suspect a pickup. And goats can get right rambunctious, so you must be using 1/2 or even 3/4 inch rope. Silk manila, I suspect, since nylon would stretch too much and there's nothing like have a goat stretch your line to the limit and then snap back. Yessir, ol' Billy Cate had that happen to him just a couple months back an' when that ol' goat snapped back it took poor ol' Billy's head clean off. We put it on his tombstone, o' course: "Here lies Bill Cate, his head was took off by a goat he roped. Cowboys take heed: don't rope goats with nylon."

You use a hoolihan or an open loop? Dally or tie hard and fast? Just curious, you understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 10:47 AM

Do it like the Texans do -- hard and fast. Here's an example why:

I'm jest a old hard and fast "Rimmy"
That's allus worked one certain way.
I was talkin' to Eddie and Jimmie,
And it's better to dally they say.
You often have heard people talkin'
That it don't hurt a feller to try.
Now I never was much hand fer knockin',
But I'm willin' to state that's a lie.


It was on the beef hunt last September
I jumped a big three-year-old steer.
He gave me a few to remember,
He went through the bresh like a deer.
He certainly knowed how to do it.
He was leavin' from there like a bat.
But I sez, jest you help yourself to it,
I'll soon be around where you're at.


The hoss I was ridin', I'm saying,
Was lazy but not very slow.
He had the world cheated fer stayin',
If you'd spur him you bet he could go.
That steer? Hadn't no chance to turn him,
He wasn't the turn around breed.
So I reckoned I'd start in and learn him
By breakin' the critter to lead.


I sent my old loop his direction,
I jerked at it and let my rope cross,
Then I aimed to establish connection
Betwixt that said steer and my hoss.
I dabbed fer my winds on "Old Sally,"
But the hoss sort of shirked and hung back.
I thought I had room fer a dally
But the steer got away with my slack.


Then my whole constitution jest buckles,
Like when somebody tromps on your corn.
Fer the end of my rope and my knuckles,
Was all that I got on the horn.
My hand was all busted and mangled.
Got one crooked finger now. See?
Well, I follered the steer till he tangled,
And got him tied up to a tree.


There is certain sad memories that lingers,
And I reckon that this one will last.
I may break my neck, not my fingers,
But I'll risk it and tie hard and fast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 01:01 PM

I shall do a ceremonial veil dance in honor of the King's return.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 03:46 PM

You can always tell someone who dallies instead of tying on by their lack of thumbs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 03:51 PM

That sounds lovely, Kim.

I want to state categorically that Khandu is not me (as should be obvious) nor am I Khandu. Little Hawk must not have the brains of a bird to make such a statement or else he has simply spent too much time gazing at a computer screen into the wee hours and fried what little brains he had!

Not too much has happened in Twillingsgate recently, but everyone is busy preparing for the festive season which is almost upon us. It promises to be a merry time! I intend to get out the horses and the carriage/sleigh and go a-jingling and a-wassailing over the fields as soon as nature obliges and gives us some good snow. There's been altogether too much rain, as usual.

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 04:55 PM

The question remains whether the fair Penelope is in fact available for dalliance or is herself purely an operator of the hard-and-fast school. Sure, she'd be better away to throw herself down for a bit of dalliance, but often these high-blood gels, you know, they just nivver know what it is that will be best for them...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 05:27 PM

Rapaire, the scary part is, I know what you're saying!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 08:58 PM

HEAR YE,HEAR YE!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 09:05 PM

Yes, Yore Majesty? We wait yore command wif baited breath. In this perticular case th' bait we are usin' is crickets. Please tell us what you wan' us t' do soon 'cause it's really startin' t' suck havin' a mouthful of crickets. But I guess it's better than a mouthful of nightcrawlers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 09:14 PM

BWL, for shame confusing "baited" with " 'bated". Not being a lover of anchovies I have never known what it is to awaken with baited breath, but my breath has often been abated by the emotion of apprehension or intense anticipation.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 09:38 PM

The Time Is Near!!!(but not quite here!)

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 09:45 PM

The anticipation!!!

The mystery!!!

Hurry up!!!

I gotta go pee!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 10:54 PM

Why wait? I'll tell you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 10:57 PM

Rapaire! You promised I could tell!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 11:06 PM

Go ahead and pee, BWL -- we're not really watching you, it just feels like it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 11:09 PM

Whatever it is that "Khandu" says untrue, as the true Khandu has been digested and excreted. And we are very, very sorry about that, truly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 11:10 PM

Oops. Sorry, Khandu. Go ahead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 12:00 AM

Well, it doesn't look like whatever it is is gonna happen tonight and I'm leaving early in the AM for Tampa and will be gone till Tuesday. I really hate to miss it, but if it can't wait, I'll understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 08:51 AM

Hear ye, hear ye,

We shall wait until BWL returns!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:06 AM

Yeah, but Tuesday I'm flying to Indiana.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:15 AM

See, khandu, this is what comes of being a fair-weather ruler!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 11:19 AM

Tuesday through Friday's no good for me as I'll be in North Carolina. Could King Khandrake, Ruler of all Mississippi and portions of western Alabama, consider waiting til Saturday after next? ... I suspect this will be a very important ROYAL DECREE containing STUPENDOUS amounts of Bullshit and I'd hate to miss the unveiling.
Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 11:38 AM

KK:

Ya just gotta decide whose schedule is going to define your actions -- yours? Or these guys'?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:35 PM

No good! Saturday after next, I'll be tied up for a few days!

How bout December 17?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:39 PM

Well, I *hope* to be moving then, but if a bunch of folks came up here to Pocatallo and helped me we could get it done faster (hint, hint).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:47 PM

Hey, Rapaire, that's a foul -- you're talking reality here, no BS to it!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 07:15 PM

Let's see: I went over the house today to let the plumbers in. They did their things, the Fire Dept. inspected the joint and made recommendations, and the chimney sweep swept the chimneys. But the Chimney Sweep guy told me that the hot water heaater was spilling water. I checked, it was, the plumbers came back. The electrician who was supposed to be in this week didn't call, so he can't get in until the week after next at the earliest. The tile folks can't get in until the first week in December or so. So...getting in by December 17 is PURE BS, fantasy of the first water. It ain't real!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Clareling
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 07:24 PM

Sorry, no BS here, just a question...
does anyone rember the 100 word stories? and do you know if and how i can find them?
Clare


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 08:17 PM

The thread is called "Mudcat Challenge -- 100 Words" or something like that and can be found Over Here


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:03 PM

What!!!???? Is Clareling trying to sabotage MOAB with a serious question, or is Clareling just shooting some BS?

Or perhaps he/she sees the brilliance exhibated at MOAB and figured we would know the answer to any question!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Clareling
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 11:02 PM

ah, yes khandu, you have cought on to my dastardly plot to overthrough this 'MOAB' as you call it...
But first i thought i might take a little knowledge...
riiiiiiiight

Thanks Amos.
Clare


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:22 PM

Ah, but the question is: Does Clareling exist?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dudya on Son's 'Puter
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:50 PM

Okay. You can go ahead now. Whatever you've gotta say - just say it. Whatever you've gotta do - just do it. I'm online again even if it is on this pain in the ass laptop. But,hey, for the MOAB I'll do just about anything, even interact as a GUEST on this impossible to use piece of crap.

Bee-dubya-ell, KOT and All That Jive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 07:31 PM

This year I really want the honor of Time Mags "Man of the Year"

Could some of you pull some strings on my behalf?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 07:35 PM

Frankly, I don't see why this should pose any insurmountable difficulties. And it's hardly an unreasonable request from the Father of Mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 09:00 PM

This is an excerpt from the very first post to MOAB, dated 05 May 03 ! Perhaps it is prophetic!:

"Pene Azul and Joe Offer will thank me for making their job so much easier! My fellow 'Catters will also thank me when they realize the time my idea will save them! Maybe this will finally get me the coveted "Time/Life Man of the Year"!!"

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 08:15 PM

I'm a-votin' fer ya, Khandu! Heck, I'll vote fer anybody who pays enuff an' gives me enuff booze! Howdaya think ol' Georgy-boy got E-lected, huh? It was me an' my buddy, Chad. Only they caught Chad and strung him up to a palm tree in Miami Beach. Not that he cared. Nope, not Chad. Didn't faze him in the least little bit. He jist sucked in a whole bunch of air and swung there until finally they cut him down. He let out all that air with a WHOOOSH!! that knocked trees and houses down clear to Sandy Juann, Porty Ricko. Anyway, ol' Chad is still hangin' 'round Florida, tellin' his story, wowin' the girls with what a swinger he is, and what a blowhard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 08:52 PM

William Shatner (actor (alleged director, alleged author)) -- Alive. Born March 22, 1931. Made several comebacks; should stick to comedies (like Miss Congeniality)

This is from the Dead People Server.

Little Hawk is not listed. Shatner is. I think that this is significant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 08:58 PM

While perusing the "S" listings in the Dead People Server to which Rapaire linked, I noticed that Sam Shepard (playwright/actor born November 5, 1943) and Harry Dean Stanton (actor/musician born July 14, 1926) are both alive. That is not surprising since I don't think I've ever seen a Sam Shepard play (or even too many films in which Sam Shepard has acted) in which Harry Dean Stanton has not acted. This leads me to conclude that Sam Shepard and Harry Dean Stanton are, in fact, the same person. The fact that they are both alive is not a coincidence. I don't know how to account for the 17 year difference in their ages, but it's probably something about which Sam Shepard could write a pretty damned good play.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 10:58 PM

Hmmmm, My sentiments exactly, BWL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 11:17 PM

Heavens, did you all know that SHAKESPEARE is dead? And Moliere? And I just found out that J.S. Bach is too!

Why didn't someone TELL me????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 11:31 PM

We didn't think you needed to know, man. Death is need-to-know these days...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 08:01 PM

I'm...I'm...just devastated. I suppose in a while, four or five years, I'll be okay. But right now...I...I'll be alright. It's just the shock.


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