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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM
Acme 28 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 AM
Acme 29 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM
Amos 29 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM
Amos 29 Jan 07 - 05:09 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 06:01 PM
Acme 29 Jan 07 - 07:15 PM
Amos 29 Jan 07 - 07:55 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 PM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 12:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 07 - 01:48 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 07 - 08:39 AM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 10:17 AM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 10:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 07 - 12:43 PM
Acme 30 Jan 07 - 12:44 PM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 07 - 03:36 PM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 04:04 PM
Acme 31 Jan 07 - 12:41 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 07 - 07:48 AM
Amos 31 Jan 07 - 08:58 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 07 - 09:57 AM
Acme 31 Jan 07 - 09:59 AM
JennyO 31 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM
Amos 31 Jan 07 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 07 - 12:30 PM
MMario 31 Jan 07 - 12:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 07 - 02:23 PM
Amos 31 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM
Amos 31 Jan 07 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 07 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 07 - 02:54 PM
MMario 31 Jan 07 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 07 - 03:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 07 - 06:52 PM
Amos 31 Jan 07 - 07:41 PM
McGrath of Harlow 31 Jan 07 - 07:57 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 07 - 08:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 07 - 11:24 PM
Amos 01 Feb 07 - 01:00 AM
Acme 01 Feb 07 - 01:02 AM
Acme 01 Feb 07 - 01:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Feb 07 - 01:42 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 07 - 09:22 AM
Acme 01 Feb 07 - 10:34 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM

The predominant convenience store chain in our area, a regional chain called Tom Thumb Stores, has been somewhat of a refuge for free airhoses for years. Unfortunately, they were recently bought out by the Kroeger grocery chain, so I wouldn't be surprised to see those free airhoses rounded up and caged in boxes that say "AIR 50˘" before long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM

I have a little airhose seedling under the back seat of my pickup. A tiny compressor and pressure guage that plugs into my lighter (I actually have three lighter thingies and one lighter, which is never used. The ash tray is where I keep my sweet-n-low and splenda for drive-in ice tea in the summer). Anyway, that miniature compressor has been a huge help several times. I bought a good used one at an estate sale last summer, so when my daughter eventually gets her own car she can have her own compressor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM

I've thought about getting one as a pet, but right now I just track down the wild ones. I may use 'em, but I'd never, ever, eat one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 07:12 PM

I should probably get a couple of those pet airhoses too. One for each car. Oh, I have a couple of airhoses, but they're more like livestock than pets. You can't take them for a ride in the car or anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 AM

We've got a baby one to inflate an air mattress, but it doesn't get much exercise. Mostly it stays in its travel crate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM

On Car Talk this weekend they had a caller from Paris, France, wanting to know if she should bring her Morris mini over to the states. The one "with tires so small you can almost blow them up with your mouth." (The concensus was that this car was a death trap over here.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

I dunno about elsewhere in the US, but out here in Idaho ya gotta throw them kind back 'cause they're under the size limit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM

I understand, though, that they CAN be eaten in an emergency, with a light sauce and grated breadcrumbs to offset the poor texture. An extra-long marination will help, also.

The small portable ones are life-savers. Or, at least, vaguely related to life-savers. No-one has ever named a candy of any kind "Air Hose", I know, but perhaps someone should. With kids today there's no telling what will sell.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 05:09 PM

Mooooooom!!!!!!

This site has a lot of my favorite words in it and says they're all pompous-ass words!! I hate them!! Can I sue 'em? Can I? Huh? Huh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 06:01 PM

A sine qua non, Amos, would be your ability to correctly identify the use of "rictus" in forensic medicine or pathology. Otherwise your suit would be, res ipsos loquitor, risible indeed (perhaps because the cuffs don't break evenly).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 07:15 PM

I can think of so many other good ones he should add to that list--I love that list--why stop at 100? More words to set us apart. I have a set of notecards of some of my favorites (and sometimes I refer to the definitions when the impulse strikes to to use one, so I'm sure to get it just right):

ad hominem
agonistic
allegory
allochthonous
aphorism
apostasy
a priori
asymptote
autochthonous (one of my favorites!)
concatenation
deontology
elide. . .etc.

My daughter has borrowed this stack of cards a couple of times, but I've made it clear that she has to leave it here. These are sometimes power words, to really lob the idea home. Other times they're used because the person who will receive the writing likes words like this and they seem to influence grades. So never use them gratuitously, but do use them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 07:55 PM

Nothing risible about rictus, even if they do have a common root. But I am over my fit of pique and see no benefit in preserving irritation qua irritation. Unless I could somehow micturate you off in doing so. But sadly, I think that is unlikely.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 PM

Use the following words in a sentence:

abliguration
ablutomania
abscissin
absquatulate
cabochon
cabotage
cabotin
cacaesthesia
cacation
girning
glabrous
gladiate
glair
glandiform
glaucescent
lupanariam
lupulin
lurdan(e)
lurgulary
quebracho
qued
uberous
ubiety
ubiquity
udometer
xerotic
xertz

Gonna be a doozy of a sentence, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 12:05 AM

"The student must learn a number of hard words and be able to define them -- viz, abliguration, ablutomania , abscissin, absquatulate, cabochon, cabotage, cabotin,
cacaesthesia , cacation, girning, glabrous, gladiate, glair, glandiform, glaucescent,
lupanariam, lupulin, lurdan(e), lurgulary, quebracho, qued, uberous, ubiety, ubiquity, udometer, xerotic and xertz, failing which he shall be deemed insufficiently sesquipedalian for the Society's qualifications. "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:48 AM

Hi, Mom! Yesterday was

National Please Ignore Today Day!!!

That's why there was no message yesterday. You see, one observes National Please Ignore Today Day by ignoring it, and posting a message would be paying attention to it, not ignoring it, so it wouldn't be observing it. Ponder that for a while and I'll let you know what today is in a few hours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 08:39 AM

As I said, it's one doozy of a sentence. But then, Amos is lurglarate and thus quite capable of such construction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 10:17 AM

Lurglarate? Scandalous defamation. A luciferian logolepsy upon you.

Thou are a lupanariam lurdan, some weird and lutaceous lusus naturae and dost require a lustrum-length lustration for your lurgulary of the MOAB's gentle stream of ideation, the work of a shameful lygophile or a lypemanic victim of lymacatexis, who should properly be lyssophobic but is not aware enough.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 10:19 AM

"Are" s/b art.

For those who want weapons against this sort of thing from Rapaire in the future, please see Logolepsy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 12:43 PM

Hi, Mom! Guess what today is? Why, it's

National Pomposity Day!

No further comment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 12:44 PM

Obfuscation


Now there's a nice word!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM

LOL, BWL. I apologize.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 03:36 PM

Hi, Mom! I just bought a Zen Warrior Armory R-9 rapier (with the rapier blade). It's okay, it's blunted!   (Amos, did you get those files I asked you to?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 04:04 PM

Yeah, but I was trying to compress them so I could send them to you by e-mail, and they shattered into little fragments and chipped the paint on my bench vise.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 12:41 AM

Play around with vice, see what happens?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 07:48 AM

I've never known a guy to have a bench vice before. Isn't it uncomfortable, what with saws and chisels and things? Or do you mean park bench vice? -- but I'd think the police might take exception to something so public.

Maybe you'd better just confess to Mom about your vice. SHE understands and forgives just about everything, even though she had a very hard time with the worms in her underwear drawer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:58 AM

SOmetimes these leedle jokes are not even clever enough to be called puns.

"A vise is a jawed device that holds the work piece. Every trade has developed specialized vises over the years. Blacksmiths prefer a post vise (also leg vise), so named because it can be strapped to a post or slender stump. The post vise has a single leg that transfers impact force to the bottom of the post and thus, to the ground."
www.appaltree.net/aba/terms.htm

"Vice is the opposite of virtue. The modern English term that best captures its original meaning is the word vicious, which means "full of vice." In this sense, the word vice comes from the Latin word vitium, meaning "failing or defect".
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vice"

The use of the latter to represent the former is a colloquialism attributable to popular ignorance and mispronunciation, even though gradually being recognized by some dictionaries.

A--Chief Pompous Ass


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:57 AM

I have a large collection of vises, which I keep in an even larger vise. There is a local club of us, and I'm the number two person in charge of the collections. I'm called the Vice Vise Vice Vise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:59 AM

Why spell it out? It's wordplay. MOM, advise Amos to stop being a pompous ass . . . again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM

I used to be the Vice President of my branch of Parents Without Partners. They called me Madam Vice.

I'm not making this up, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 10:13 AM

Madam Vice, would you be interested in bench pressing?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 12:30 PM

Speaking of vice, I have to tell you all that the odor of beer can be pretty bad in some parts of town. The other day we had some yellow snow; apparently some of the beer was borne upwards and came down with the light snowfall. Lots of folks going out and getting home-made snowcones and are happy. Except for the ones who get the yellow snow that DIDN'T fall but was locally created....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 12:50 PM

Hi, MOM! It\'s me! I\'m surfing in using an anonmynynizying proxy site one of the students discovers so I actually saw the front page of mudcat at work for the first time in three years! not much has changed, has it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:23 PM

Amos is not pompous! Amos is faux pompous, just like everything else on the MOAB is faux. We even had faux post reference numbers for a while.

And, with all that in mind, I declare today to be

National Turnip Day!

But you can call it National Faux Turnip Day if you wish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM

Vanquish the enemy! Turnip the faux! Eldred the Nervous! Ethelred the unready!

I am deeply indepbted to you for this razor-keen distinction, dear BWL!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:42 PM

In other news, I thought you might all be fascinated by the relationship between mathematics and the fundamental structure of reality. A brief overview from an essay called "Reality: The Grand Illusion", by one Peter Russell:

"...Numbers such as "pi", the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter, or "e", the base of natural logarithms. They can be defined, but never written down exactly as a number for they go on forever, to an infinite number of decimal places. All this from the notion of distinction.

And there is more. Any positive number has a square root, the number that when multiplied by itself produces that number. The square root of one is one; of four it is two; and of eight it is 2.828... (another irrational number that goes on forever). But what, asked mathematicians of negative numbers, what multiplied by itself gives minus one? Nothing in the range so far discoveredŃany number, positive or negative when multiplied by itself results in a positive number. So they defined the square root of minus one to be a totally new number, an "imaginary" number, not part of the range or "real" numbers, and gave it the symbol "i". From this arose a new and even larger set of numbers, the so-called "complex" numbers, that were a combination of real and imaginary numbers. And these, it turned out were invaluable in helping mathematicians solve equations that had no solution in the realm of real numbers. Moreover the solutions applied to the real world.

Out of this panoply of numbers a most remarkable and intriguing relationship appeared. The irrational number "pi", the irrational number "e", and the imaginary number "i", come together in one of simplest equations ever; "e to the power of i times pi = -1".

Many mathematicians have eulogized over the significance and beauty of this equation. Out on the very edge of number theory a relationship is discovered that seems to show it is all in some way pre-ordained. Little wonder that some mathematicians feel that God is to be found in the beauty and perfection of mathematics.

That these three seemingly unconnected numbers should be related in such a simple way was startling enough; but even more was in store. This simple equation is the basic equation of any wave motion. Every wave from a wave on water, the air waves coming from a violin string, to light waves, can be expressed as a combination of simple equations of this form. It also expresses the orbits of the planets, the swing of a pendulum and the oscillation of an atom. In fact, every single motion in the cosmos can ultimately be reduced to an equation of this form. The whole of quantum physics depends upon it. If mathematicians had not discovered this most remarkable relationship, the strange story of the quantum would never have been told.

And all of this without a single empirical observation. No wonder then, that in the end all science comes down to mathematics. The very fact that it is not based upon phenomena, is why it is probably the best approximation to the underlying reality we have. ..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:46 PM

The Assyrian came down like a wolf on faux
And his cohorts were gleaming in prupuce and gold.
                           --Gordon George, Lord Briney.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:54 PM

Mom! Mom! Did I mention that yesterday I bought a new rapier?? Did I? Huh?

You can see a picture of it if you go here and choose "SCA Weapons" on the left side and then scroll down until you come to the R-9 Rapier.

I also got some blunts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 03:00 PM

hmmm - I didn't think live steel was allowed in SCA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 03:06 PM

They have to keep it on a leash.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 06:52 PM

I bought some Phillies Blunts back in my cigar smoking days. I didn't like 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 07:41 PM

That's one to file away, all right.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 07:57 PM

Vice is always spelt vice this side of the Atlantic, whichever sort is involved. We don't have vises. Not even invisible ones.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:25 PM

Well, the software upgrade at work danged near killed me today, what with the upgrade being done remotely and all and the Internet connection going down in the middle of the thing. Gonna prolong it into tomorrow: twenty libraries await the upgrade.

But I called in the true experts. These are the Unix gurus, the guys who, although they are missing certain parts, can make the operating system do about anything. They are really one-of-a-kind: truly unique Unix eunuchs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 11:24 PM

I think it's great that both the bad habit and the clamping tool are spelled "vice" in Britain. It makes spelling them easier, and that's good. In fact, it would make spelling a whole lot easier if all words were spelled "vice". A typical sentence would look something like, "Vice, vice vice vice vice, vice vice vice vice vice vice vice vice." Doesn't make a lot of sense, but it sure is easy to spell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:00 AM

Sometimes simplicity transcends all other virtues. And sometimes it transcends all vices.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:02 AM

Hmmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:05 AM

I wasn't really thinking about what Amos said, I hadn't read it yet, I'd just opened the page to get to the text screen. I wanted to snag the number and not look like I was snagging the number, so I did the "hmmmmmm" mantra. And it worked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:42 AM

Oh boy! Now that we're less than a hundred posts away, it's time to start planning Mom's "Sweet Sixteen Thousand Party"!

I've got the CAKE ordered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:22 AM

Gee, I guess Neil Sedaka said it best, huh?

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Happy birthday sweet sixteen
Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

Tonight's the night I've waited for
Because you're not a baby anymore
You've turned into the prettiest girl I've ever seen
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

What happened to that funny face
My little tomboy now wears satin and lace
I can't believe my eyes you're just a teenage dream
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

When you were only six I was your big brother
Then when you were ten We didn't like each other
When you were thirteen You were my funny valentine
But since you've grown up Your future is sewn up
From now on you're gonna be mine, so

If I should smile with sweet surprise
It's just that you've grown up before my very eyes
You've turned into the prettiest girl I've ever seen
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

REPEAT LAST VERSE
Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la Happy birthday sweet sixteen
Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la Happy birthday sweet sixteen
FADE: Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la Happy birthday sweet sixteen


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:34 AM

D'you suppose Dylan has something on the subject that's a little more earthy? MOM was gagging over her breakfast cereal this morning at the idea of being serenaded with the Sedaka song. She thinks she'd feel too conspicuous, especially for someone with her girth, trying to quietly sit and just tap her toes to his song.


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