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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 01 Apr 07 - 09:23 AM
Amos 01 Apr 07 - 10:39 AM
Rapparee 01 Apr 07 - 10:42 AM
Rapparee 01 Apr 07 - 10:46 AM
Amos 01 Apr 07 - 02:15 PM
Acme 01 Apr 07 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 01 Apr 07 - 09:45 PM
Acme 02 Apr 07 - 02:13 AM
Rapparee 02 Apr 07 - 09:25 AM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 09:38 AM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 09:51 AM
Acme 02 Apr 07 - 10:50 AM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 02 Apr 07 - 12:00 PM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 12:03 PM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 01:34 PM
MMario 02 Apr 07 - 02:13 PM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 03:53 PM
MMario 02 Apr 07 - 03:57 PM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 04:34 PM
Rapparee 02 Apr 07 - 04:37 PM
Little Hawk 02 Apr 07 - 04:40 PM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 04:48 PM
Little Hawk 02 Apr 07 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 02 Apr 07 - 05:14 PM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 06:34 PM
MMario 02 Apr 07 - 06:58 PM
Little Hawk 02 Apr 07 - 10:38 PM
Amos 02 Apr 07 - 11:07 PM
Little Hawk 03 Apr 07 - 12:53 AM
JennyO 03 Apr 07 - 08:29 AM
Rapparee 03 Apr 07 - 09:00 AM
JennyO 03 Apr 07 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 03 Apr 07 - 09:36 AM
JennyO 03 Apr 07 - 09:46 AM
JennyO 03 Apr 07 - 09:47 AM
JennyO 03 Apr 07 - 09:47 AM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 09:55 AM
JennyO 03 Apr 07 - 10:22 AM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 10:42 AM
Acme 03 Apr 07 - 11:56 AM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 03 Apr 07 - 12:09 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 12:11 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 01:22 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM
Acme 03 Apr 07 - 01:41 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 02:26 PM
Little Hawk 03 Apr 07 - 08:31 PM
Acme 04 Apr 07 - 01:13 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 09:23 AM

The Absolutely Fantastic Adventure of Brave Sir Amos, Knight of the Table Round and Sans Pur et Sans Reproache, (cont'd.)

Cried he, "Villein! Hold thy pen!
Don't write no more such stuff again!
Else I will have to take thy head,
Arms and legs, table and bed,
I'll break thy lance, I'll break thy sword,
I'll take thy dictionary, every word!
For I do not fear the wrath of men
Especially those who wield the pen!"
So drew he Fishmash, his noble blade,
And chased the poet 'round the glade,
'Til finally the poet slipped on the dew
And Sir Amos clove him quite in two!
"Egad!" quoth he. "What have I done?"
Now poets two instead of one
Shall loudly my details proclaim!"
And so he hacked the chap again
Until the poet mincemeat was
And with sound of flies the glade did buzz.
Then Sir Amos wiped from his blade the gore
Of the poet who would nevermore
Write of his deeds, both bad and good
Within the overarching wood
Of trees and shrubs and birds and deer,
Giants, orcs, and old King Lear,
Glaciers, palms, and pilgrims lost,
And danger to the permafrost.
Fair maidens everywhere did weep
And publicans did half their keep
Of nut-brown ale and whisky strong
And with flooding tears did the sums erase
That the poet owed, for now decease
He ne'er more could even up the score
Five pubs went broke and even more
Did ban Sir Amos for this deed
And the publicans spent their lives in need.
In rags their children went to school
In summer's heat and winter's cool
And in future times whenever they
Spoke to grandchild, fair or fey,
Of their youth, how in school they stay
(Tho' they walked uphill both the way
Through snow and ice up to their chest
Their education was the best)
They told of how Sir Amos, brave,
Did them to poverty enslave
By mincing the poet, head and knee,
Who was yclepted "Rapaire."

Exeunt Omnes

Here endeth The Absolutely Fantastic Adventure of Brave Sir Amos, Knight of the Table Round and Sans Pur et Sans Reproache.

         -- The Epic Of Sir Amos, from "The
         Incompleat Manuscript Works of Geoffy Chaucer"
         (Bawdylian Library, Rayon Herkimer Mss.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 10:39 AM

The mind boggles at thine accomplishment, Rapparee.

A parody within a takeoff rolled up in a caricature and carrying a burlesque ( a kind of pointed lkampoon).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 10:42 AM

Aw, shucks, I dunno what ta say.... I jist kinder figgered that iffen you wrote an epik bout me I kinda oughta write one bout you, sorta like givin' a present ta somebody who's give you one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 10:46 AM

I call such a work a "crampoon" or maybe a "tampoon", depending.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 02:15 PM

Aye, Cap'n, me friend QueerQuig, here, is just what you need. He wields the best crampoon in all of the Western Oceans!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 03:41 PM

And a whale of a tale that is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 09:45 PM

Courtesy Gargoyle:

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

There was Mermaid Minnie, met her down in Madagascar
She would kiss me, any time that I would ask her
Then one evening her flame of love blew out
Blow me down and pick me up!
She swapped me for a trout

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

There was Typhoon Tessie, met her on the coast of Java
When we kissed I bubbled up like molten lava
Then she gave me the scare of my young life
Blow me down and pick me up!
She was the captain's wife

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo


Originally sung by our own Amos, as his ship, "Whereinhell Arwe," crossed the Line and he was promoted from polliwog by King Neptune his own self.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 02:13 AM

Hey, MOM! Don't slip! I'll catch you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 09:25 AM

Good morning, Mom! I see Stilly awakened you again at some ungodly hour, just so that you'd take your sleeping pill. That girl! Did you know that when she was out the other night she...oh, wait. I'm not supposed to mention to anybody that she was out with that guy she met at the Candy Store who turned and smiled at her even though they said he was bad because he came from the wrong side of town and they were always putting him down, she knew he was sad, but her dad said to find someone new and she had to tell Johnny they were through. That guy. The one they called "Wussy of the Pack." But I'm not supposed to tell you about it because she got in really, really late from the dance with her lipstick all a mess and she figured you'd ground her and then she couldn't go to the racing ground because you'd take her t-bird away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 09:38 AM

Dear God, now he's ripping off old Kirk Douglas rhymes. Ah, alas. First he forgot how to pronounce his name, and now this. Lo, how the mighty are fallen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 09:51 AM

"Cosmologists have long assumed that the overall expansion of the universe is not affected by the properties of small regions within it, since these properties should average out on the largest scales.
But in any given region of space, the force of gravity between bits of matter acts as a brake on expansion. This means that expansion should slow down quickly in regions with lots of matter, while continuing without much change in mostly empty regions.

It is this difference in the expansion rate between different regions that could produce the illusion of dark energy, Rasanen says. Strangely enough, even though the expansion rate decreases or stays about the same in every region, the average rate of expansion for the universe as a whole can increase.

This is because over time, denser regions suck even more matter into them by the force of gravity, which further empties the less dense regions. This process has led to the condensation of matter into galaxies and clusters of galaxies, with ever larger voids in between."

As a regular contributor to the Master BS collection here, I must protest this effort to destabilize the grip of dark matter on our world-views. Dark matter is a priceless twist, a gem among concepts for those seeking touchstones from which to generate quality bull.

But even BS, sooner or later, must yield to the firm forward march of science. I am sure they'll come up with something, like the chicken-soup theory of particle creation or soemthing, to take the place of dark matter as a fount of ridicule.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 10:50 AM

Ha! Her covers had slipped off the bed and her left leg was hanging off the mattress. The old girl was getting ready to start a slow slide out of bed if I hadn't gently nudged her back into place. A lot you know, out there tinkering with your mufflerless t-bird. Vroom, vroom! It shook Mom right out of bed this morning, I'll tell you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 10:53 AM

I'm getting glaas-packs for my Camaro, Mom, so that doesn't happen when I tinker. As I remember it, teaching Rapaire the fine art of accurate tinkering was not easy, back in the day. He would leave puddles.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 12:00 PM

Only because you put an 'L' in the word! I was only doing what I was told to do!

Nyah, nyah, nyah, Mr. Smarty-Farty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 12:03 PM

You would have me state that you use to leave "puddes"? Seems delusory to me. Anyway, old boy, as brother unto the MOAB I apologize for bringing up your childhood pecadilloes. It ain't truly fittin'. Must be Spring fever upon us. Once again I wander into work in shirtsleeves of a morning, and the days are long, golden, pleasant and busy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 01:34 PM

Now 16, eight and seventy
Have spoke the MOAB path
With gallant epic ditty,
And heartfelt jolly laughs.
If eight and seventy do appear
To please our Mother's Mind
With Spring upon the MOAB can
The Nine be far behind?
And if the Nine should soon appear,
Brave Sixteen Thousand Nine,
How long before Seventeen Grand
Shall Cross the MOAB line?
And shall we then all celebrate
And hymn and drink and wail?
To see that Seventeen Thousandth Post
Stand tall on MOAB's trail?
Oh, let it be, that thee, and me
And all of MOAB's clan
May bring the day to come about
Our Seventeen of Grand!

Paisley Winnebago
Milestones on the Short Trail


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 02:13 PM

Eight Thousand four Hundred and Thirty Five Score (plus one) posts ago
Our MOAB was brought forth upon this site. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 03:53 PM

I just knew we'd been here before. Deja vue all over again!

Note:

"26 Aug 05 - 11:03 AM (#1550276)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos

Nine thousand and twenty-seven posts ago,
Our Founder brought forth on this forum, a new Thread,
Conceived in Bull and dedicated to the proposition
That all other threads were created equal except this one.

Now we are engaged in a great civil lull,
Testing whether that thread -- or ANY thread, so conceived and so dedicated-- can long endure.
We are met on the last post so far to that thread.
We have come to dedicate a portion of that thread, as a final resting place for more of the bull from they who here gave their brains and hearts to seeing that thread survive.
It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this thread.
The brave writers, wise and otherwise, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.
The world will little note, nor long remember what we do here, but it can never forget what they have said here, I suppose.
It is for us the BSing, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who wrote here have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored posts we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these BSers shall not have written in vain -- that this thread, under Max, shall have a new birth of better bull--

And that BS of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Cat. "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 03:57 PM

well, *duh*, Amos! didn't anyone teach you in school that History repeats itself?

well, *duh*, Amos! didn't anyone teach you in school that History repeats itself?


well, *duh*, Amos! didn't anyone teach you in school that History repeats itself?

well, *duh*, Amos! didn't anyone teach you in school that History repeats itself?

well, *duh*, Amos! didn't anyone teach you in school that History repeats itself?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 04:34 PM



Wow -- Thanks, MMario. I just realized that!
!!!!
Wow -- Thanks, MMario. I just realized that!
!!!



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 04:37 PM

Realized what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 04:40 PM

You guys are completely nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 04:48 PM

Oho, Monsieur le Hack:

You, from what high tower, I know not, can securely issue such condemnation? You who strove to bring Shatnerization to the MOAB? You, who inventeth alternate personalities of so little merit they dream of marrying policewomen? You, who buildeth of whole cloth the visage of stout detectives peopled by simians? Who worshipeth those who Wear the Rug and are over-endowed with Avoirdupois? Who spouteth all the day of Metaphysics? Who earneth his keep on E-Bay? You think to judge the sanity of others, while so unmoored drifts away your own mental ship? Oh, fie, rethink your premises, sirrah.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 04:51 PM

It's here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 05:14 PM

When I rethought my premises I moved to Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 06:34 PM

That is a gruesome movie LH -- me thinks thou hast unveiled thy seamiest of many sides.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 06:58 PM

10 posts to a spinner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 10:38 PM

What's gruesome about it? Pro wrestling is a total fantasy. It's all staged. The hilarious thing about that movie is that it shows how deeply people will buy into that fantasy (or at least pretend to if they professionally involved). It clearly provides an emotional catharsis for the wrestling audiences, satisfying some deeper need they have. I find that intriguing. Almost every little boy goes through a stage when he's fascinated by the characters in pro wrestling. Then most of us grow up and move on. Maybe wrestling is there for the ones who aren't ready to grow up in that respect. Andy Kaufman was a person who seemed possessed with a desire to continue living out his strongest childhood enthusiasms and fantasies in the most dramatic way possible...and yet he was fully aware of what he was doing while he did it! That's quite unusual, and it's interesting. Damn funny too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 11:07 PM

The betrayal at the end, is what I found gruesome. This is not what brains are for.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 12:53 AM

No, it certainly is not what brains are for, Amos, but Andy was simply playing the "heel" (the bad guy). That's normal in wrestling. Such betrayals are standard fare. It's all choreographed ahead of time. He and Jerry Lawler were personal friends (though they kept that a secret very effectively at the time) and they set up the entire series of incidents from beginning to end. It was a superb "work" as such dramas are termed in the world of wrestling.

As the "heel" it was Andy's job to be as despicable, arrogant, mean, and obnoxious as he conceivably could be. His job was to make the fans absolutely hate his guts, and boy, did he ever succeed! That makes for big ticket sales. They'll fill the hall for the chance to see the heel get his just desserts.

It was not revealed until 10 years after Kaufman's death that he and Jerry Lawler had been good friends and had set up the entire thing from beginning to end. It was one of the most brilliant and successful wrestling promotions of all time, and it pretty much ended Andy Kaufman's career. He was done in by his own delight in confounding people, because they couldn't distinguish where the role ended and the real Andy Kaufman began. Even most people who knew him well couldn't figure it out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 08:29 AM

I had a post about Andy Kaufman ready to send about 8 hours ago, then I discovered work was being done on phone lines in the area and I had no phone line, and therefore, no internet. Then I had to go out. GRRR! Meanwhile, Little Hawk has said some of what I was going to say, but I'll post all of it anyway.


What a strange man! He seemed to live his whole life in fantasy. I wonder how much of a grip he had on reality. I would hate to have been inside his head. I know a lot of it was an act, but how could you live like that and keep your sanity? He came across to me as mentally unbalanced.

However, according to Wikipedia, the whole wrestling feud was staged.

Kaufman and Lawler's famous feud and wrestling matches were later revealed to have been staged, or a "work", as the two were actually friends. The truth about it being a work was kept secret for more than 10 years after Kaufman's death, until the Emmy nominated documentary A Comedy Salute to Andy Kaufman aired on NBC in 1995.

So much of what he did was not as it seemed that when he died of cancer in 1984, many believed it was another joke. Apparently there are many who believe even now that he faked his own death and is still alive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:00 AM

Nope, I never yearned to be a pro wrestler. My grandmother would watch Gorgeous George on television, but she was also into Liberace.

I suspect that it's because I know too well how to kill people and realize how fake pro wrestling is. A case could be made for it as theatre, I suppose, since it does provide a catharsis and arouses "pity and fear" in the observer. I doubt that either Aristotle or Shakespeare would have approved, except as a form of low comedy, the sort where buffoons would smack each other with air-filled pig's bladders.

Moliere would probably have said something about "A chacun...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:32 AM

I vaguely remember Gorgeous George - must have caught him towards the end of his career. They used to have wrestling matches on Saturday afternoon TV when I was a kid. I only ever watched a bit of them a few times. It looked really stupid. Even to a kid like myself, it was obvious that it was all show and posturing and bore very little resemblance to reality.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:36 AM

Come to think of it, my brothers and I kept asking Grandma when Gorgeous George was going to fight Liberace. We weren't very clear on television personalities and I think we may have thought that Gorgeous George was Liberace's violin-playing brother, George. It would have made sense to use, because we were always fighting with each other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:46 AM

Hahahaha - I have this bizarre image of Gorgeous George fighting Liberace - feathers at 20 paces!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:47 AM

Meanwhile.......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:47 AM

***** 16891 *****

My pinwheel number's time has come,
Here's sixteen eight and ninety one.
Well balanced, viewed from up or down,
A little jewel for Mother's crown.

I turn it round, it slowly spins,
A germ of an idea begins.
Harness its power, that's my plan,
To use it as a personal fan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:55 AM

I think this explains why Rapaire turned out so much more like Liberace than Gorgeous George.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 10:22 AM

An interesting look! Not sure how it would go down in the library, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 10:42 AM

Turning and turning in the widening thunder
The counter cannot hear the passing number.
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
A flood of bull is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed mind unreels, and everywhere
The innocence of apathy put down;
The best bring forth pure Bull, while the rest
Contrive in passionless mediocrity.

Surely some renaissance is now at hand;
Surely revival reaches toward the land.
BS Revival! Words no sooner spoke,
When a vast image out of some Cosmic Joke
Troubles my sight: somewhere in burning desert stress
A shape with lion head but not the heart of man,
A gaze blank and pitiless, decries BS,
Denies the Will and Wit, because it Can.

Reel shadows of the fleeing carrion birds.
The darkness breaks and stagger; and now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Are brought from nightmare by the MOAB's cradle,
And what bright hope, its hour come round at last,
Clicks on a blicky, ready to be born?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 11:56 AM

Mom, my smoke detector is beeping and it's driving me NUTS! I changed the battery; no good. Little bird-like chirps are emitted every so often. I think there is a small insect in there. I tried vacuuming when I saw a speck on the edge of a crevice, but I think the culprit is still inside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM

Steady on, Still! It's just the mechanical universe surging up to suppress the BS revival. Creativity drives them machine types sheer plumb mad, you know.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 12:09 PM

Try using a squirt of six from a can of canned air.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 12:11 PM

A "squirt of six"? How do you tell them apart when they're all just canned air? Kinda like certain portions of our beloved forum...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:22 PM

We were 16-8 and ninety-eight
Just two from sixteen-nine.
And the loom of seventeen thousand
Was seen down past the line.
Then with vicious broomstick waved aloft,
We heard our Mother say,
"Git out of bed, you worthless slouch!
Move out! There's seventeen K!"

So we rubbed our eyes, and looked around,
And fell into our clothes.
And out the window, over the hill,
Where the sun had lately rose,
Why sure enough, a bright gold glow,
Like the start of a second day
Was brightening up the clouds below,
The glow of Seventeen K.

We could see it shine like Gabriel's Horn,
Where the heavens meet the dawn.
And we swore our eyes were playing tricks,
And blinked; but it wasn't gone.
And all that morning it glittered there,
Like an angel hard at play.
And we knew in our hearts, we had better start
Moving out for Seventeen K.

Now somewhere men are stern and glum,
Where there burdens are too grim.
Somewhere a man turn his back on life,
'Cuz it's just too much for him.
And somewhere folks can't understand
Why children laugh, and play.
But the MOAB crew understand that, too,
As they head for Seventeen K.

We know it's there, just over the hill
If you look right, it's quite clear,
Like the pale green flash on the ocean's back
When the setting sun draws near.
So just keep your calm, if the sons of Mom
Gallop past, berserk but gay,
And give them a smile as they make that mile
That will bring on Seventteen K.

Ransom Arbuthnot Stumpwhumper
The Voice from Over the Hill
Olden, Yuppiz, Revivivien, eds.
New York City, 2004


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM

In Time's sands, now draw a line.
Draw it straight, and clean, and fine.
MOAB has reached Sixteen-Nine!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:41 PM

I found it finally--the little chirps were not entirely directional--it kept sounding like it was from the next room. It turned out to be the little water detector that sits in the pan under my hot water heater. The battery needed changing. Meanwhile, I pulled down and blew out the insides of each of the detectors in my house. Can't hurt, but I was getting a tad frustrated at having nothing work.

Now to turn my attention to the late-middle-aged cat, who has been even more annoying in his complaints lately. He wants us to cuddle with him all of the time. I think he is ill--no weight loss yet, no jaundice, but I've noticed some blood on the stool in the litter box. I'll get him checked out, and won't make any decisions until the kids have had a chance to visit with him. He may have more time, perhaps diet alone will help, but I can't think this is something that will just go away on its own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 02:26 PM

This place is a real roller coaster, I must say. We zoom from epic poetry and mythic tales to the daily rigors of hosuecats and chirping digital alarms without batting an eye, albeit occasionally turning a hare. And in case that Bugs you:

"What's updoc, anyway? "

"I think it's a kind of snew."

"Well, what's snew?"

"Not much. What's snew with you?"

Baddabing, baddabong!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 08:31 PM

This would have been a great musician's wrestling matchup: Liberace vs Tiny Tim.

And in the lightweight category: Bob Dylan vs Paul Simon.

And in the women's welterweight division: Buffy Sainte-Marie takes on Yoko Ono.

And special feature steel cage intergender match: Bob Dylan and Joanie Mitchell attempt to smoke each other under the table. Last one who can still light up another cigarette wins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:13 AM

Don't stay up all night, MOM. Tell Amos he can read more poetry to you in the morning.


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