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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 29 Jun 07 - 11:05 PM
Acme 30 Jun 07 - 02:24 AM
JennyO 30 Jun 07 - 02:56 AM
Acme 30 Jun 07 - 10:42 AM
GUEST,Amos 30 Jun 07 - 11:29 AM
Acme 30 Jun 07 - 11:33 AM
GUEST,Amos 30 Jun 07 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 07 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 07 - 02:37 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 30 Jun 07 - 03:43 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 07 - 05:03 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 30 Jun 07 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 07 - 09:04 PM
Acme 01 Jul 07 - 01:06 AM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 06:33 AM
Acme 01 Jul 07 - 11:27 AM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 11:46 AM
Acme 01 Jul 07 - 12:05 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:09 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Jul 07 - 12:32 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:46 PM
Bill D 01 Jul 07 - 01:36 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 07 - 04:41 PM
Bill D 01 Jul 07 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 07 - 06:51 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 07 - 09:29 PM
Bill D 01 Jul 07 - 11:05 PM
Acme 01 Jul 07 - 11:16 PM
JennyO 02 Jul 07 - 01:28 AM
JennyO 02 Jul 07 - 01:36 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:47 AM
MMario 02 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM
SINSULL 02 Jul 07 - 11:10 AM
MMario 02 Jul 07 - 11:12 AM
JennyO 02 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Jun 07 - 11:05 PM

Sounds exackly like what I woulda flippin' done...

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 02:24 AM

What a crock! We all know that MOM was actually digging through quilting materials with Pat and had an allergic reaction to the dust the two of them stirred up. That ceiling lamp incident was an unfortunate misunderstanding. I heard tell they were looking for a place to toss a cord so they could hang up a couple of quilt covers to show folks. The step ladder got kicked over and MOM grabbed the light for her balance. Same thing happened to me out in the woods one day, I grabbed a cedar branch to break a fall and ended up swinging in the middle of nowhere by one arm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 02:56 AM

Reminds me of the time a few years ago when I reached for a branch in my backyard, standing on a chair. Not a good idea. The ground was wet, the chair tipped, and I broke my ankle. I won't be doing THAT again!

Mind you, if I had a drink or three too many, you might find me swinging from the chandelier...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 10:42 AM

Exactly! See? Rapaire, you should apologize to MOM. (And give Pat a hug).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 11:29 AM

BEsides, who would take a pee while fingering a power-stapler? I mean, who intheir right mind...

Which raises an interesting question. What is a "right mind"?. When you are in yours, where are you, actually. Does one also have "wrong minds" into which one can transition and reside temporarily? Is Mom in her right mind, or one of her wrong ones?? Or, is the correct juxtaposition between her right mind, her middle mind and her left mind?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 11:33 AM

That's it, right and left.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 01:06 PM

I am in the lovely tourist city of Santa Cruz, not far from thebeach. We are having a family reunion. There are three generations mingling, drinking, yelping with laughter and discovering the core affinities of family and recognizable DNA patterns. It is amazing how much we like each other -- I am surrounded by a dozen cousins, neices, nephews, sibs and their souses and spice. Especially their spice. If youthink having one Amos on the MOAB is heartburn, you should try spending a weekend with about twenty variations on the theme. A reg'l'ar barrel of hyperactive simians.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 02:36 PM

It is physically impossible to "give Pat a hug." I can't get my arms around her.

No, it's not bodily girth. She unexpectedly had a lipoma (don't look if you want to keep your lunch) removed from her back on Thursday last. If I were to "give Pat a hug" she would a) yell in pain and b) deck me if she didn't c) shoot me first.

I say "unexpectedly" because she knew it was going to have to be done, but not during the examination visit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 02:37 PM

And yes, before any one asks, I did bail Mom out. We simply must break of that habit of beating up cops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 03:43 PM

Flippin' right! Frist off, they are not easy to beat up. Second off, they really hold grudges. Third off, they got a lotta backup. Forth off, they have guns.

It ain't worth it, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 05:03 PM

"Shane," did I ever mention that one cop I "wrestled" with? Named Dana or Danny or something...she was a Canadian cop, I think...used to do a dance down here called "The Royal Canadian Mounting Police." WooHOOOO!! I'll tell ya, she was SOME hot chick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 05:46 PM

Yeah, right. Flip off, Rapaire, you sorry fliphead! You should flippin' consultate on all them flippin' drugs that are listed on the last flippin' post. Ya know why? You need some, cos I heard that you been unable to salute the flippin' flag, eh? Cos you can't run it up the pole no more. That's what I heard. Better get some Viaggara fast, man, or all them local dogs you been servicin' are gonna wonder where yer get up and go got up and went! Ha! Ha!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 09:04 PM

"Shane," if you're asking me about drugs, well, it's been a while, but ya know, I had some black hash one time that'd leave you up for a week. Or those windowpanes...man....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 01:06 AM

Sounds like Pat is the one who wants the drugs this weekend. Ouch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 06:33 AM

It's cold and windy here in Sydney these days (well it IS winter) and almost everyone I know has a cold. Today my daughter was here, snuffling and sneezing and looking for remedies, so I picked some lemons off my tree for her to take home and turn into hot drinks.

Later I was sitting at the table and I felt a tickling on my arm. It was a very small green insect which I recognised as a very young STINK BUG!

It's still winter fer chrissake, and the next generation of the little buggers is already on the way! So it's on with the protective gear, out with the ladder and the poisonous spray, and get ready for another episode of:

THE GREAT STINKBUG WAR!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:27 AM

Don't use poisonous sprays, use organic. You'll get the same result but you won't poison yourself in the process. Think orange oil, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:46 AM

I suppose it's worth a try, while they are very young, but they are tough little buggers, and the milder pyrethrum sprays don't work on them. What is orange oil supposed to kill? Any other suggestions?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:05 PM

Pyrethrum has problems also.

http://www.dirtdoctor.com

This site has a lot about organic remedies. There is a membership area but a lot of information is in the public area. He uses a combination of fertilization (healthy plants are less susceptible to bugs and disease), repellents (things like garlic and hot pepper tea) and organic stuff to kill or trap (orange oil, nematodes, vinegar, BT, etc., depending on the pest).

Back to our regular BS. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:09 PM

Thanks SRS, I'll have a look tomorrow. It's rather late here and I should be in bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

Trouble is...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

I have this nagging feeling


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

that I've forgotten something


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

and if I don't remember it,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

I won't be able to get to sleep


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

until I remember it


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM

fuggedaboutit Jenny
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM

***PINWHEEL NUMBER 18081***


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:32 PM

Palindromic even


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:46 PM

That too, Giok.

Sorry Mom for that undignified scramble towards my pinwheel number - very uncouth I know, but I did have dibs on it, and it's very late - I need to go to bed, and there are unscrupulous scoundrels like Giok waiting in the wings that would be only too happy to steal it. You know how it is.

I promise to be more couth in future







































until the next pinwheel comes along - heh heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 01:36 PM

coises, foiled again....just wait till #80808!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:41 PM

Okay, you all can have whatever numbers you want. But I get 18181, okay? That number is very important to me, for it was my late, beloved mother's number. She left it to me in her will; in fact, apart from a few debts that was ALL she had to leave me. I will never forget leaning over to kiss her one last time, tears streaming down my face and my body wracked with sobs, and she whispered, with her dying breath, "Remember the number...it's...yours...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 06:26 PM

sure, Rap...sure...*evil grin*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 06:51 PM

You wouldn't steal the dying wish of a poor widow to her eldest son, would you? The only thing she had to give him, apart from a pile of bills? Only a blackguard and villan would do such a foul, disgusting, deed! Someone like George W. Bush or Snidely Whiplash.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 08:24 PM

..or little johnnie howard even.

Rapaire, have you no scruples? Fancy using your poor dear sainted mother to try and gain our sympathy! For shame, man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 09:29 PM

In all seriousness, my "poor dear sainted mother" raised four kids alone (she was a widow for 31 years, I ain't lying!) on social security survivors' benefits and a pittance from the Veterans' Administration. The total was never more than US $120.00 per month. She saw all of us get at least an undergraduate degree and three sons serve and return from military service at the same time -- two went to 'Nam and one to Korea. She saw all three sons get married, and she was able to bounce two grandsons on her knees before she died.

I sorta suspect it wasn't easy, what with four kids with IQs in the upper brackets and an insatiable curiousity about...things. Like our Three Big Rules (all promulgated ex post facto):

1. You will not make explosives or fireworks in the house, including the basement.

2. You will not make lachymators* or any other war gases in the house, including the basement.

3. If you're going to experiment with electricity, don't blow the circuit breakers.

For a while these were literally posted, as written above, in the kitchen.




*Tear gas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:05 PM

....hmmm...admirable woman. But I see no evidence that she posted "Go for 18181." as part of that list....and whispered in your ear on her deathbed? HAH! I'll bet she said something like, "Get that aluminum dust and gelignite out of my jello!"

I have the UTMOST respect for hard-working, penurious widows, but VERY little for rapacious librarians who entreat with prevarication.


("I wonder what I meant by THAT.", he said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:16 PM

18091 weighs almost as much as 18081. In fact, since they "balance" tires in such a way to have the weight a little off-center so it rolls properly, perhaps you should have aimed at it instead.


18091


Wheeeee!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 01:28 AM

Rapaire, it sounds like living at your place must have been a real "blast". Your mother was obviously a saint!

Actually, I do know a little bit of what she would have gone through. I wasn't widowed, but my husband left, leaving behind a trail of unpaid bills and two traumatised children. They were a bright bunch too. My son's hobby was pulling apart anything with workings (he's a tech person now, so he followed it through) and one of my daughter's favourite things to do was to sit on the garage roof looking for aliens when she wasn't getting herself into trouble. Money was always short (no support) but we got through somehow.

I have one grandson, Max. He's been keeping me company today. He'll be 4 in a couple of weeks, and is already starting to find his way around the computer pretty well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 01:36 AM

By the way, I don't believe that nonsense about 18091 for a moment. Being off balance like that would make my pinwheel all wobbly. Quite happy with what I've got, thank you - until the next one, that is.

*cue the violins*

I am very poor and own nothing of any monetary value, so I intend to leave my collection of pinwheel numbers to my children when I die. SURELY nobody would deprive my poor children of their inheritance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:35 AM

All the pinwheels in Australia are upside down and hence will not work.

No Bill, there wasn't anything in that list about 18181. That's because it was all that was left to my mother (apart from the kids, of course) when he died. She kept it close to her heart, but she'd let us see it when we brought dandelions and other flowers that children pick to put on his grave. It was, she said, "their number" just as they considered "Stardust" as "their song."

Ah, I remember those days so well...our grubby chubby little hands clutching wild violets and dandelion flowers in aluminum foil "vases"...the tears...the prayers said around the grave as we knelt on the scabby knees of children...my mother gathering us around and saying "Here is the Family Number, passed down from generation to generation. Someday I will pass it on to the oldest son as it was passed on to your father by his mother."

And we children took the message to heart, and even though my brothers, tried their best to succeed me as the oldest son, I survived and Mom passed that number on to me with her dying breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:40 AM

It's a little-known fact, but there isn't any hydro power in Australia because the water all flows uphill. It's pure hell trying to fill a bathtub.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:45 AM

In fact, Australia


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM

tried to launch a satellite


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM

back in the sixties


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM

and it was successfully placed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:47 AM

in orbit INSIDE the globe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM

well mom, the nephew is a deacon. it's official. it only took him seven years to accomplish what is now an 18 month process. My great-niece was really tired and I rocked her to sleep at the back of the church - so when I went to present rabbit's stole at the appropriate time rowan was snoring on my shoulder. it was fun trying to put the stole on him one handed!

but the "official" photographer took a bunch of pictures of Rowan as well - so she is now immortalized in the annals of the Episcopal church.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:10 AM

Congratulations to the family, MM.

Funny - Austrailan toilets flush down not up. Why is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:12 AM

high pressure systems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM

All the pinwheels in Australia are upside down and hence will not work

Well, I never in my life heard such BS! Any fule kno that pinwheel numbers are the same up or down.

And filling bathtubs is easy. We have them bolted to the ceiling. So there.


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