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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 11:02 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM
CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 11:11 PM
CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 AM
CarolC 04 Jan 04 - 11:33 AM
khandu 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 PM
CarolC 04 Jan 04 - 01:35 PM
Tweed 04 Jan 04 - 01:49 PM
Amos 04 Jan 04 - 02:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 04 - 10:11 PM
khandu 04 Jan 04 - 10:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 10:23 PM
khandu 04 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM
Amos 04 Jan 04 - 11:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 04 - 08:31 AM
Amos 05 Jan 04 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 05 Jan 04 - 11:01 AM
GUEST,Rev. B.A. Dick 05 Jan 04 - 08:27 PM
Amos 05 Jan 04 - 08:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jan 04 - 10:26 PM
Amos 05 Jan 04 - 10:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jan 04 - 10:59 PM
Rustic Rebel 05 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 04 - 11:49 PM
Amos 06 Jan 04 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 04 - 08:25 AM
Amos 06 Jan 04 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 04 - 09:38 AM
Amos 06 Jan 04 - 09:52 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 04 - 12:41 PM
Amos 06 Jan 04 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 04 - 06:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jan 04 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 04 - 08:04 AM
Amos 07 Jan 04 - 12:11 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 04 - 01:52 PM
Amos 07 Jan 04 - 02:39 PM
Amos 07 Jan 04 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM
Little Hawk 07 Jan 04 - 06:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jan 04 - 07:10 PM
Amos 07 Jan 04 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 04 - 11:29 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 04 - 09:01 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:02 PM

Yes I did too post to it!!!!

Check out the post from flattop. That was me!!!

He asked me to do it, and I couldn't refuse.

(Nice dismount, don't you think?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM

Fancy that! I was the one who posted as Kim C!!

Small world, eh?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM

You don't believe me, do you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:11 PM

Who am I to doubt Carol the flattop Sailor, the Crapper Queen???

Kim C


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM

Third picture from the top. See that keyboard on the table there? That's where I typed it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:16 PM

How could anyone with any logic deny such hard evidence? I'm convinced!!!!

Kim C


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 AM

You used a keyboard? Wow! Mine's attached to a computer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 11:33 AM

You've got yours attached to a computer, Rapaire? Very interesting. Spaw keeps his rolled up on his 'Super 2000 Roll-A-Matic'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 PM

Hours in the planning!! Proudly introducing, without further ado. . .

THE MOAB LOTTERY!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!! YOU CAN BECOME THE OWNER OF OUR WONDERFUL MOAB MASCOT*! YES. . . YOUR'S TO DO WITH WHAT YOU WILL!!!
BE THE ENVY OF YOUR FRIENDS (if you have any)!!
BE THE BANE OF YOUR COMMUNITY!!
HAVE YOUR PHOTO TAKEN WITH A PHOTO OF THE MOABITE OF YOUR CHOICE!!!
GET YOUR OWN COPY OF "kHANDU's LIST OF MUDCATTER'S I DON'T LIKE"!!
YES!!!
YOU CAN BE SOMEBODY!!!


for
details, have your credit card ready & PM any Moabite!
Contest not open to any Moabite, their families or loved ones, nor to Carol the flattop Strange Sailor Crapper Queen, nor to members of the Polka Circus & their ilk.(See exhibit "C".)


(The MOAB Lottery is not affiliated with any subversive group of perverted anarchists & their ilk, nor does it condone such sickening behaviour, unless it is done in good taste** by fellow Moabites & their ilk!)(See exhibit "C".)


*The Moab Mascot is subject to change at the discretion of any Moabite's whim or fancy. (See exhibit "2".)



**"good taste" is a loose term to be defined by any Moabite's whim or fancy. (See exhibits "D-G".)


A small substantial fee (to be defined by any Moabite's whim or fancy)is required for registration. (See
exhibit "C".)

All "exhibits" are property of MOAB & shall not be viewed by the non-Moabites & their ilk. (See exhibit 32)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 01:35 PM

No more flattop. Just CarolC the Strange Sailor Crapper Queen now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 01:49 PM

Good Lord, khandarz has fallen over the edge once again. It is time for the ice water submersions coupled with simultaneously administered electro-shock. I tried in vain to locate Exhibits C,G,D,2 and 32 and their ilk but came up empty yet again. Unless.....this is a cleverly disguised code for a song's CHORD CHART!! HAW, in which case he is not insane after all. Insanely CLEVER PERHAPS BUT NOT CLEVERLY INSANE!!!

It is no wonder that myself and others of my ilk are only dukes and royal bottom wipers. Long Live KHANDU, KING OF ALL MISSISSIPPI!! Wisest of all rulers, leader of buffoons and cultivater of all things mad and unrulable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 02:02 PM

I would say neither insanely clever NOR cleverly insane but perhaps sadly mad. A sadly mad khandu!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM

I have seen exhibit "32" and, let me tell you. it is not a pretty thing. In fact, if I'm ever questioned by the authorities I will deny having seen it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM

Upon further consideration, I now totally recant my claim to have seen exhibit "32". I have never seen exhibit "32" in the past, I am not seeing exhibit "32" at the present, and I have no intention of seeing exhibit "32" in the future.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:11 PM

Khandu is an exhibitionist???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:18 PM

HAW!!! I am exhibit 32!! (For the eyes of Moabites only!!)

Poor bwl went into shock at the sight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:23 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen, a big round of applause for tonight's guest on the "Crap We Haven't Beat to Death on the MOAB Show"......

NESTLE'S CRUNCH BARS

Is the proper name for the item "Nestle's Crunch Bar" or "Nestle Crunch Bar"? Is the possessive "s" in there or not? Seems like I remember a jingle that definitely said "Nestle's", but I've been known to be wrong about far more important things.

Anyway, Nestle (or Nestle's) Crunch Bars were probably my first major addiction. Fortunately, I've been clean for around 40 years now. I kicked the habit cold-turkey when the price went up from ten cents to fifteen cents. It was tough making that mile-long walk home from school without the Crunch Bar, but, hey, I was a tough kid and no candy bar was gonna beat me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM

"N-E-S-T-L-E-S
Nestle makes the very best
Chocolate"

Seems like a moose sang the jingle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 11:20 PM

Has the once great MOAB now declined
To memories of spelling rhymes
With which their minds were hypnotized
When young, by Mad Ave jingle guys?

B-o
N-O
M-O
Bonomo!

O! O! O!
It's Bonomo's
Cannnndy!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 11:49 PM

"Declined"? How can something that has yet to rise above the level of "festering ooze" possibly decline?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 08:31 AM

M hasn't been fully covered!

It's the most wonderful letter in the alphabet, too. It begins words that express such beautiful sentiments as Motherhood, Mother, Music, Mayhem, Madness, Murder, Manslaughter, Moose, Massacre, Money, Marijuana, and Magnificence -- not to mention Mudcat and MOAB itself.

And, of course, it's the first letter in my name. THAT alone would make it worthy of awe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 08:57 AM

Rapire:

"Rapaire" begins with R, silly!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:01 AM

Ah, but my TRUE first name -- Michael -- begins with an M. AND it is so reflective of me, since in translation it means "Who is like God" or "Godlike" or "Like God."

Oh, so true, so very, very true....

(If you doubt that meaning, if you thing that I have fibbed or stretched the truth on this...check here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rev. B.A. Dick
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 08:27 PM

I have been spreading the word for years that thas world is going to hell. Few bothered to listen. Yet I have persevered.

There have been signs along the way to support my message. Indeed there have been signs.
Yet today, be it serendipity, be it happenstance...Nay,be it Providence...today I discovered the surest sign the world is quickly Hell-bound:

The Mother of all BS threads. Or "MOAB" as you blasphemers choose to call it!

I could not imagine such a display of filth in a public forum 40 years ago! Each and every one of you would have been publicly whipped or hung!

Oh, for the good old days!

Of course, in talking to you, I am casting my pearls before swine...I expect that you will turn and rend me.

But I am prepared. I have dealt with persecution before. It has never stopped me!

My messiage to you heathens is this:

Stop this foolishness immediately! Repent of your evility and turn this profane thread into "The Mother of All Propriety Threads"!!

Think of it...you will be a lighthouse to the rest of your Mudcat bunch! They will thank you, saying things like "It was that MOAB bunch...they showed us the way!"

The power is in your hands to forever change Mudcat!!

I will check in some time in the future to see what you have done with my message! Lord help you all if you ignore me!

Rev. Bernard Anthony Dick


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 08:42 PM

Reverend Being A. Dick,

First, thanks for your heartfelt sentiments. Second:

1. Message is spelt with no "i"
2. There is no such word as evilty or evility.
3. There is no market on the Mudcat for Propriety -- just ask those who have tried to impose some!

There-you can't say you've been ignored, now, can you??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 10:26 PM

Tonight's episode in the "Still More Stuff That Has Not Been MOABed Show" is brought to you be the letter "O", and that subject is....

OREOS

Why is the chocolate cookie part of an Oreo is so damned hard? I don't mean "why" in the sense of "What makes them that way?" I suppose that's determined by the amount of shortening or something in the recipe. I mean "why" in the sense of "What friggin' idiot decided to make the damned things hard enough to break teeth?" More importantly, why have other cookie makers chosen to follow Oreo's lead and make their own chocolate cream sandwich cookies hard as rocks as well?

Try this. Go to the grocery store and buy a package of store-brand "assorted" sandwich cream cookies. "Assorted" means that you get some chocolate ones and some vanilla ones. Bite into one of each and you will find that the chocolate cookies are invariably much harder than the vanilla ones. Why? Where is it written that "Vanilla sandwich cookies shall be soft yet chocolate ones shall be hard."? Personally, I would be grateful for a chocolate sandwich cookie that can be eaten without causing dental trauma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 10:49 PM

Maybe your Mom was buying the day old variety. Sometimes that freshness can make all the difference. And maybe they came from around the Love Canal. Ever think of that?? You don't know!! Trouble with chocolate cookies is you never know where they've been!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 10:59 PM

But Oreos get softer when they're a day old! Well, at least they do in Florida. They might get harder in the Mojave Desert. I wouldn't know.

But, the good news is that the string of food-related topics has ended and we get to move on to more intellectually stimulating topics starting tomorrow! Yippee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM

Rapaire
Oh god like one. You have inspired me to search the meaning of my name. It came up 'Hebrew'. Now what the hell does that mean? He-brew his own beer? Then it should be She-brew. Does it mean Jewish? Does it mean I am an ancient Semitic language? BS- I want it to mean I am Goddess like and I'm stickin' to it.

I thought oreos were hard so you could dunk them without loosing your whole cookie in the milk. Of course, if you dunk them too long, you loose your whole cookie in the milk.

I am happy to say I am now feeling totally recovered after a strenuous 3-day, new years eve party. Thought those people would never go home. Did I tell you I'm never drinking again?.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:49 PM

"Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." -- Mark Twain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 12:01 AM

Everything gets softer when its a day old in Florida, BWL -- even you!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 08:25 AM

If you fill a glass or bowl with Oreos and then pour milk over 'em you can eat them with spoon. Or you can mush everything up, let it dry, and use it to throw at cats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:00 AM

If you save the Oreos from such a fate you can throw them at cats like micro-Frisbees -- zawinnnnng!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:38 AM

But if you do that, you can't use them as morter to lay bricks.

There's an old recipe for mortar for storework, such as is used in castles and such:

Of sande, 3 partes
Of oereos well crusheed, 7 partes
wette wit the blud offe an oxenne until weel wetted and then use as you would any mortyr for stonnnes. Twil withstant the fury of ye trebuchette, ye oranger, ye minning, et ye cannonne gonne 175mm howitzerre.

This is from the Bludynez Manuscript, which is found in many public libraries throught Idaho and Maine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:52 AM

ye cannonne gonne 175mm howitzerre.



Isn't there some sort of anachronism here? It don't seem right that some medievalist sapper or stonemason is gonna go around measuring cannonne gonnes as 175 mm howitzer, somehow. Millimeters? Narrrrr. Say it ain't so and admit what you done, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 12:41 PM

Well, the Bludynez Manuscript is quite old. Maybe some folks were ahead of their time. The Manuscript was dated by the most scientific means, utilizing internal evidence such as spelling and grammar, paper watermarks ("Eaton Bond") and comparison with other manual Royal typewriters. All of the evidence clearly points to composition "a long time ago, maybe in the late 1960s" or a couple of years earlier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 04:43 PM

Rapaire, I take back all the nice things I ever said about you. You asshole!! ROTFLMAO!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 06:42 PM

Amos, living as I know you do in a benighted area, librarywise, I have at great trouble and expensive prepared the Bludynez Manuscript for HTML posting. So here it is:


Ye Bludynez Manuscript or Palimpsest

on making ye defense et attacke.
Know that I, Simon of Rottinham, do yis dai put penne to papre and committ to riting all that I hast lernt of
defense et attacke during mi long and honirable careere in ye military armes. I do yis so yt ye info might not be lost to
the ken of mortal menne nor or mortal womenne eiyer. By doing yis I hast made it so yt ye-all will not have to
reinvente ye wheele, so to speake.


Know ye yt ye best defense ist ye good ofense, and take up to live as best as ye can to my stile of life, as e’en my gud wyfe doy say, Ye art ye most offensif wight who ne’er wiped shoen before y-comin in from ye mud and slyme of ye
barnyard. And yen she doth hitteth me with ye spyder, ye pot, ye skyllet, and ye pan. Learn that e’en being ye best
ofensif doth no always prevail, e’en tho’ ‘tis said to be ye best defens.


And take ye oeroes, and grind them fyne, and mix with 2 parts of oereos so ground 3 parts of sand and wette ye same wiy bullock’s blud sufficient, and ye wals made with yis most excellente siment or mortyr will withstand ye trebuchet,
ye oranger, ye mining, ye 175 mm goone howitzere and wilt, if mixes aright, e’en turn thy M1A1 tanke of Abrams.


And best for ye defensee when confronted by ye force superiore too one’s own, is to droppeth thy breeches, grasp thy ankles with thy handes, right to right and left to left, and laboring ahard at it, swingeth betwen thy own legges, and
kisseth thy arse goodby. Rember, yo, yat yere be no dishonour in running to fight another daye.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 07:12 PM

Now that we've left the foodstuffs behind, we find our list of not-previously-BS'ed-about subjects in the midst of the letter "P" and just about ready to discuss...

PRESBYTERIANISM

The difference between Presbyterianism and other Protestant Christian denominations is more organizational than theological. On one extreme, there are denominations such as the Episcopal (Anglican) Church whose organizational hierarchy is highly structured with a definite, almost military, chain of command. On the other extreme, Congregational churches are independent bodies in which all decision-making is performed on the single-church level. Presbyterianism sits between the two extremes by vesting governing power in an elected assembly or "presbytery" which exercises control over, yet is answerable to, individual churches. Sort of like the religious equivalent of representative democracy.

From a theological standpoint, there is wide divergence among Presbyterian congregations. Some are very liberal and some are downright Calvinistic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 08:04 AM

Out here there's been a drought for the last five years. As a result, the Baptists are sprinklin', the Methodists use a damp cloth, and the Presbyterians are givin' rain checks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 12:11 PM

Well, that was as fine a fanciful Pharte as ever one man made to presente to another, I declare. A cloud of purest Odour of Bulle.

But I know they had no Oreos in the 11th century. So you can't fool me!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 01:52 PM

"But I know they had no Oreos in the 11th century. So you can't fool me!"

You have made an assertion, and I call upon you to prove it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 02:39 PM

Oreo



In 1912, two chocolate-flavored wafers with a rich cream filling called the Oreo biscuit became an immediate hit with consumers - and over the decades grew to be a food icon. During the product's first 90 years, people around the world have enjoyed more than 450 billion Oreo cookies.

For almost 50 years the Oreo cookie remained fundamentally the same, but brand extensions began to emerge. In the mid 1970s, Oreo Double Stuf cookies were introduced. The 1980s saw an expansion into the frozen snack category with Oreo brand Cookies 'N Cream ice cream. Additional brand extensions such as Mint Creme Oreo and Fudge Covered Oreo were introduced in the 1980s.

In 1991, Oreo launched Mini Oreo cookies. Also in the 1990s, the company launched cookies with creme fillings in seasonal colors, such as orange for Halloween, red for Christmas and blue for spring. In addition, Oreo O's cereal was introduced in the late 1990s.

Over the years, the brand also evolved beyond the cookie and candy category. Oreo expanded into a dessert line with Oreo Cookie Pie Crust. And Oreo Cookies & Creme Pie and Oreo Brownies were introduced as foodservice items.

In 2001, Chocolate Creme Oreo and Chocolate Creme Mini Oreo were introduced. By 2002, Mini Oreo cookies came in a variety of package styles, including an eight-ounce, resealable, stand-up bag for convenient and portable snacking.

(from the authoritative "History Of Oreos and Oreology".

You are steering a dangerous course, Sir -- the line is most fine that divideth BS from Fraude! Stay, I pray you, lest you give convenient and portable snacking a mortal blow to the reputation!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 03:00 PM

And from the "Final Word on Dogmatic Factual Compendia of Food History", the following:

Oreos
According to the records of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Oreo brand cookies were introduced to the American public by the National Biscuit Company (now Nabisco) on March 6, 1912. It is registration #0093009. Nabisco is now owned by Kraft Foods.

"On April 2, 1912, the company's [National Biscuit Company] operations department announced to its managers and sales agents that it was preparing "to offer to the trade...three entirely new varieties of the highest calss biscuit in a new style...The three varieties of biscuit...will be known as the Trio. "The varieties comprising the Trio' are as follows, namely: Oreo Biscuit--two beautifully embossed chocolate-flavored wafers with a rich cream fillling at 30 cents per pound. Mother Goose Biscuit--a rich, high class biscuit bearing impressions of the Mother Goose legends at 20 cents per pound. Veronese Biscuit--delicious, hard sweet biscuit of beautiful design and high quality at 20 cents per pound. This Trio is an exciting innovation, and we are quite sure it will immediately appeal to public favor...

...two members of the trio most lavishy promoted in the inital announcement have since disappeared. But the third, Oreo, was evidently just the kind of cookie the American consuming public wanted. Somewnat similar to a previous product named "Bouquet," the Oreo consisted of two firm chocoalte cookies with rich vanilla frosting in the middle. The first Oreos were slightly larger than today's product, but always round. Within a short time Oreo, which resembled an English biscuit, became a fantastically good seller among NBC sweet goods...The origin of the name is nto really known, although one possibility is that it came from the Greek oreo, meaning hill or mountain. Supposedly, either in testing or when the product was first produced, it was shaped like a baseball mound or hill-hence, an oreo. This has a certain validity in view of A.W. Green's [company executive] tendency toward classical names. Oreo was officially registered in 1913 as "Oreo Biscuit." By 1921 it had become "Oreo Sandwich" and by 1948 "Oreo Creme Sandwich." Variations have been tried--a vanilla Oreo, a single-cracker Oreo, and in th e1920s a lemon-filled Oreo was introduced. The size has undergone changes, too. Today's is about midway between the largest and the smallest. Through all shifts in public preferences, Oreo has remained one of the nation's most consistent favorites. As frequently happens with popular products, there are people who fancy that they contributed to is creation. An Oreo admirer once wrote to the company "During the early 1920's you have a contest offering a cash reward for a suitable name for this particualr cookie. I entered this contest and submitted the name Oreo. Time passed, I learned or heard nothing concerning the matter, so gave it no further thought until this past Sunday night....If you will kindly check your records concerning the said contest, I am sure that in them you will find I am the one who submitted the trade name, Oreo." The company answered, "We think that you must be confused about the origin of the trademark Oreo. It was not originated as the result of a contest in the early 1920's or at any other time. It was originated by our advertising department, and first used on March 6, 1912."
---Out of the Cracker Barrel: From Animal Crackers to ZuZu's, William Cahn [Simon & Schuster:New York] 1969 (p. 142-4)


Proof is as proof does, eh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM

Don't prove they didn't have Oreos back then, just shows when they were patented/trademarked. "Oreo" could have been an old name for dried haggis or something.

Nope, 's not proof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 06:45 PM

That is merely a vague assertion. Prove that they DID exist back then or retire behind your portcullis and admit defeat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 07:10 PM

Tonight's previously untouched, pristine and virginal BS topic....

QUARTZ INVERSION

Quartz inversion is something that is of concern only to potters and other fools that like to turn clay into rock by heating it to extremely high temperature. Clay is composed mainly of silica and alumina. Silica, or silicon dioxide, undergoes a change in crystalline structure at 1063 degrees F when it changes from "alpha quartz" to "beta quartz". This change can cause pots to crack or deform if it occurs too rapidly. So, smart potters always fire with a slow temperature increase during the 1050 to 1100 degree temperature range.

Yeah, it's not a very interesting subject, but whaddaya expect for "Q"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 10:05 PM

Rap, you're fudging and quibbling!! (Which by the way suggests a good name for a NEW Nabisco cookie -- Fudge Quibbles). You are the undisputed master of research tours de force, so if there is some evidence of Oreos being used to name haggis, you had better start touring de force tout de suite!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 11:29 PM

Bee-dubya, shouldn't you also say something about cristobalite inversion as well? And some source stated unequivocally that quartz inversion occurs as 1063 degrees F., while another said 1064 degrees! Don't they KNOW? Or does it vary with, say, altitude?

As for you Oreo doubters, consider this excerpt:

"We redeth oft and findeth y-write,   
And this clerkes wele it wite,
Layes that ben in harping
Ben y-founde of ferli thing:
Sum bethe of wer and sum of wo,
And sum of joie and mirthe also,
And sum of trecherie and of gile,
Of old aventours that fel while;
And sum of bourdes and ribaudy,
And mani ther beth of fairy.   
Of al thinges that men seth,   
Mest o love, forsothe, they beth.
In Breteyne this layes were wrought,   
First y-founde and forth y-brought,
Of aventours that fel bi dayes,
Wherof Bretouns maked her layes.
When kinges might our y-here   
Of ani mervailes that ther were,
Thai token an harp in gle and game
And maked a lay and gaf it name.
Now of this aventours that weren y-falle
Y can tel sum, ac nought alle.
Ac herkneth, lordinges that ben trewe,   
Ichil you telle of "Sir Orfewe."
***Orfeo*** mest of ani thing    (emphasis supplied)
Lovede the gle of harping.   
Siker was everi gode harpour
Of him to have miche honour.
Himself he lerned forto harp,   
And leyd theron his wittes scharp;
He lerned so ther nothing was   
A better harpour in no plas."

Spelling wasn't a big thing Way Back When. What was then spelled Orfewe, Orfeo, and other variants is today spelled "Oreo." And this is extracted from a much longer poem (which can be supplied upon demand) in which "Orfewe" or "Orfeo" is symbolic of what we today think of as "Oreo."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 09:01 AM

Oh, the poem dates from between 1330 and 1340 -- call it 1335. Its roots are found in the Greek story of Orpheus, who attempted to rescue his wife from Hades, only to look back and lose her forever.

That story is, of course, symbolic of an addiction (wife = addiction + his desire to be "clean", a classic dichotomy) to sweets (wife also = "sweet thing") and Orpheus's vain attempt to overcome it. His descent into Hades (the hell of his addiction), his permission to free his "wife" on the condition that he never look back (at his addiction), his failure to fulfill the condition (i.e., backsliding), and his failure to overcome his addiction and to kick his habit.

This is, of course, a very, very quick summary of the reality underlying both the ur-poem and the poem quoted. To fully understand the ur-poem, you must read it in the original Attic Greek, of course.


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