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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Nov 10 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 10 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 10 - 09:40 PM
Acme 02 Nov 10 - 08:58 PM
gnu 02 Nov 10 - 01:31 PM
gnu 02 Nov 10 - 01:29 PM
Amos 02 Nov 10 - 12:59 PM
Little Hawk 02 Nov 10 - 11:55 AM
Acme 02 Nov 10 - 11:53 AM
Acme 02 Nov 10 - 11:44 AM
Amos 02 Nov 10 - 10:59 AM
Little Hawk 02 Nov 10 - 10:55 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 10 - 10:37 AM
Amos 02 Nov 10 - 10:21 AM
Amos 01 Nov 10 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 10 - 10:50 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 10 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 10 - 06:57 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 10 - 06:32 PM
Acme 01 Nov 10 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 10 - 02:52 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 10 - 02:39 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 10 - 02:29 PM
Amos 01 Nov 10 - 02:26 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 10 - 02:23 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 10 - 02:18 PM
Amos 01 Nov 10 - 11:13 AM
Amos 01 Nov 10 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 10 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 10 - 11:00 AM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 10 - 10:23 AM
Amos 01 Nov 10 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 10 - 10:25 PM
Amos 31 Oct 10 - 09:11 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 10 - 07:44 PM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 10 - 01:46 PM
Acme 31 Oct 10 - 10:15 AM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 10 - 10:11 AM
Amos 31 Oct 10 - 04:58 AM
Acme 30 Oct 10 - 10:30 PM
Eiseley 30 Oct 10 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 10 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 10 - 09:56 PM
gnu 30 Oct 10 - 09:36 PM
Eiseley 30 Oct 10 - 09:27 PM
gnu 30 Oct 10 - 08:25 PM
Acme 30 Oct 10 - 07:58 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 10 - 05:24 PM
gnu 30 Oct 10 - 03:23 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 10 - 02:41 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 10:25 PM

Not much. But if you register at www.stumbleupon.com you get a button that takes you to pages you are interested in, at random.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 10:17 PM

We was born in a wagon of a political show
We all dance for the money they throw
We go and do whatever we could
Pander to the interests
Sell ourselves cheap for someone else's good

CHORUS:
Politicians, tramps and thieves
We hear it from the people of our towns
They call us politicians, tramps and thieves
But every night the Special Interests come around
And lay their money down

Picked up some cash just south of Mobile
Donor give me a ride, filled me with a hot meal
I got a quarter million, he got twenty-one
Rode me to pieces
Folks back home woulda shot us if they knew what we'd done

CHORUS:
Politicians, tramps and thieves
We hear it from the people of our towns
They call us politicians, tramps and thieves
But every night all the PACs will come around
And lay their money down

I never had schoolin' but they taught me well
With their smooth talkin' money style
Three months later, I'm under arrest
And the Ethics Committee is looking at my files
The Ethics Committee is looking at my files

CHORUS:

Politicians, tramps and thieves
We hear it from the people of our towns
They call us politicians, tramps and thieves
But every night all the crooks will come around
And lay their money down....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 09:40 PM

Boy oh boy, are they at it up at the Legion Hovel. Seems like they're taking their politics pretty darn seriously: Liberal vs. Tory, Whig vs. Federalist, Socialist vs. Communist, Labor vs. Labour (it's a spelling dispute), Independents against everybody else.

Totty McIntyre smashed Belle Smarts over the head with an oak barstool because Totty thought Belle's husband was messing around with Vera Smallstack, only it turned out to be Totty's boyfriend who also happens to be Vera's fiance. As she smacked Belle, Totty said, "That'll fix you, you blood-sucking Tory!" But when the dust settled Totty and Belle were crying in each others' arms and passing around a bottle of Golden Anniversary blended whiskey.

Big Tim Little was fending off everyone who dared assail his position on the 54-40 question with a fire extinguisher. Free Silver is another big issue, especially with the cowboy community, which is very well represented. The city ambulances are working shifts up to the Emergency Room -- the last ride contained Blinky Blackenstrap who was somehow hit on the head by a barrel full of beer; the medics think that it being Blinky no damage has been done except to the beer.

Fortunately, the CG required that all firearms, brass knuckles, dirks, dagger, switchblades, razors, explosives, slingshots, belt buckles, suspenders, and "all similar items, of whatever sort, type, composition, or potential or actual use" be checked at the armored car conveniently parked outside the door every election night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 08:58 PM

Dunno. Do you mean stumbleupon? It seems to tie up your web page.

MOM, let's get a bottle of cheap wine and watch the election returns. The wine is the anesthesia for the pain of watching the stupidity of the American people who think 2 years is enough to repair 8 years worth of damage. Quel domage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 01:31 PM

So, what happens at www.stumbledupon.com?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 01:29 PM

And toasty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 12:59 PM

I don't think it would be advisable to pinch Hitler. He was pretty irascible.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 11:55 AM

I kept reading it as Pinch Hitler too, and only just realized my mistake about a minute ago.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 11:53 AM

I love it! I offered to step into the Secret Santa assignment role when Liz the Squeak wasn't able to get it finished, so Kat changed the thread title to reflect that there was a "Pinch Hitter" taking over.

One of the UKers just said he kept reading that as "Pinch Hitler" and had no idea what it meant.

How can the entire world not understand our idom "pinch hitter?" Really! Haven't we leaked out culture out into the rest of the world long enough to take care of this kind of thing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 11:44 AM

Politicians, BAH! I'm sick to death of 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 10:59 AM

Shane is a politician? Huh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 10:55 AM

So true. That's because they are archetypes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 10:37 AM

Shame McBride and other politicians go on forever. Not even silver bullets or a stake through the heart will stop them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 10:21 AM

For an endless array of very interesting websites, sign up with www.stumbledupon.com. They are terrific.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 11:48 PM

Rapaire thought so because it was Rapaire bumped him off several Kay back. Don't you recall? I misremember how he got resurrected but I doubt it was a good idea.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 10:50 PM

Oh. I thought he was...never mind. I'll bet he didn't need a mask and costume yesterday, though.

"When they smell him coming they all step aside;
A lotta folks didn't and a lotta folks died.
With an odor of skatole, dead skunk and bad cheese
The odor won't kill ya if watch the breeze...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 10:41 PM

He isn't dead! He just smells that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 06:57 PM

Probably help if he wasn't dead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 06:32 PM

I'm really excited, Rapaire! Can you give me a quote on those outrageous rates? I'd love to have you handle Shane's wedding to Officer Dana...the only trouble is...she hasn't said "yes". Actually, she hasn't said anything. The lad hasn't had the mungoberries yet to come right out and ask her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 06:19 PM

That does sound like an eye-popper of a wedding!

This Santa business is interesting. I'm going to be doing some cut and paste later on - it's a very low-tech operation. Print the list twice. Cut the names out of one of the printings and tape them down next to the names on the other printout. Then let everyone know and watch the ruckus that ensues.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 02:52 PM

Just for you, LH, I'll do a two-for-the-price-of-one. And for the late Shame McBride I'll only do a 75% escalation, including the additional costs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 02:39 PM

Ha! Ha! I love it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 02:29 PM

I think I'll go into business as a wedding consultant.

When Only The Worst Is Good Enough!
    Where Bad Taste Is The Watchword
      Ask About Our Outrageous Rates!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 02:26 PM

Well, you seem to be contradicting yourself, just because I was sarcastic. But I am always sarcastic! Therefore....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 02:23 PM

MARVELOUS!!! Your scenario for weddings is inspired, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 02:18 PM

Did I mention that they shouldn't have cleaned the spitoons in the place the wedding is held and that they should be so placed that almost anyone can step in them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 11:13 AM

Hah!!

38201



Hah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 11:13 AM

After that scenario, Sir BOoque, you shouldd leave it for another county...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 11:08 AM

Once again I shall leave it for another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 11:00 AM

Okay then.

If you're going to get married you should have a lousy time doing it. The two most directly involved should be brought screaming and trying to escape to the ceremony after having been pried and dragged from the reeking little holes in which they were trying to hide. The ceremony should be periodically broken by screams of "She can do better!" and "He's just a boy!" and "Aargh! Not him (or her)!" When the time comes to say "I do" the groom should say, "Wait a minute now!" and the bride should run screaming and crying to her mother for advice. When the presiding minister says, "Now I pronounce you..." the Best Man should scream, "Don't say it! He means so much to me!"

At the reception only Boone's Farm should be used and there should should be a pay-as-you-go bar serving only the cheapest liquor; the reception should be held in the local school gymnasium while basketball practice is going on. The menu should consist of rubber chicken, frozen peas-and-carrots, and a few pieces of wilted iceberg lettuce without dressing. Live music should be limited to little cousin Timmy playing his kazoo and someone who can almost play a banjo. The bride and groom will leave in separate cars for separate honeymoons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 10:23 AM

Compare the clothing. That should settle the issue one way or the other. If it turns out to be someone else, ask them why they're intruding on your space.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 10 - 10:06 AM

Oh, the reeking PROFUNDITY, the shattering DEPTH, the glaring WISENSS of your every word, Sir Booque.


I am beside myself with green crawling envy!! I think. Maybe it is someone else who is beside myself, or maybe I am beside some other. It is hard to tell.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 10:25 PM

Well, if you're going to get married you ought to have fun doing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 09:11 PM

Wow, oh, wow, Mom!! What a weddnin'!!! We gathered in this small bed and breakfast behind the Secret Cafe in Del Mar, a bright sunny California morning, blue skies, and as we gathered, a mariachi band formed up on the ground floor and filled the artistically iwnding stair well with beautiful Mexican music. My son was there dressed as a Samurai warrior, his wife as a Geisha. I had a nephew dressed as Fred Flintstone, a niece dolled up as the starlet of Grease, Olivia Newton John? and her boyfriend looking just like John Travolta. The wedding party was elegant in white suits and mauve-reddish dresses. Yes, I officiated, dressed to the nines in black tie tux and top hat. The3 ceremony was sweet and short, and then there was an interlude of mariachi music as everyone went off to dress up for the reception--those not yet in costume. Around noon we clustered on the sidewalk in front of the little restaurant -- there were Dumb and Dumber, a guerrilla warrior Laura Croft with incredible cleavage, a Raggedy Ann with a Raggedy Andy, Clark Kent with his Superman shirt showing, faery queens and basketball stars, a James Bond with a martini, a Pancho Villa, toreadors, a Franciscan monk, and dozens of others milling around. When the bride and groom stepped forth in full regalia as Zorro the Fox and the Wife of Zorro, everyone cheered, and the mariachi band filed out and led the whole gang of them in a mass Halloeen parade down the main street of Del Mar, much to the astonishment of those lagging around over late coffees or playing tourist in town; random bursts of applause broke out and rubberneckers gawked as we paraded down to a large Mexican restaurant where the whole lower floor had been reserved for the party. Free beer, margaritas, a Mexican luncheon laid on, and wild good spirits and much laughter continued for four hours.

I looked pretty sharp in my tux, and the whole thing was splendiferous, especially the wild parade down main street with the Mariachis blaring away and waking everyone up as we passed through. Awesome day!! And the bride was world class beeeyoootiful!!!!

I have one niece and one nephew left to go.

:D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 07:44 PM

Yum! Stewed monkey! Charbroiled Chimp! Yummy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 01:46 PM

You know, most parties and gatherings can be improved if one adds a tasty mix of primates to the guest list. Several apes and a large barrel of monkeys will absolutely make any social occasion unforgettable. Ask Chongo for details.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 10:15 AM

Sounds like fun! Are you officiating, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 10:11 AM

Not as hectic as thirty twenty-somethings...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 04:58 AM

Hey, Mom,n and my nephew and his fiancee and about twenty thirty-somethings descended on a small hotel in the seaside village of Del Mar and rehearsed for tomorrow's wedding. Big dinner after with Peruvian delicacies. Awesome, chaotic, high-energy crowd. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 10:30 PM

We are going to have to hustle this through pretty quickly. If I find there are latecomers (there are bound to be) I may need to find some extra participants; idealy, for every two players I'm set, so if there is an odd number, it might be time to ask if anyone has a few local items to send. I have used a calendar this year in my office that came from my Australian Secret Santa last year. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 10:17 PM

Rapaire's the right man for the SS job. Just don't step on his cloak and dagger.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 10:00 PM

Maggie,

Is there any way we MOABites can help with your SS crisis?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 09:56 PM

If you keep aeroplanes at an aerodrome, you'd keep Palins in a palindrome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 09:36 PM

Say what say?

Is that a Sarah Palin drone kinda thing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 09:27 PM

Around and around and around we go! Twirling on this palindrome!!!

Emordnilap siht no gnilriwt!!! Og ew dnuora dna dnuora nda nduora!


Eiseley

Yelesie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 08:25 PM

Oh dear... I hope Liz is okay???? Haven't chatted with her in ages but I hoped it was just that she was busy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 07:58 PM

I picked a pair that looked like what I wore for summer forestry work many years ago in the Western Cascade Mountains of Washington.

The trick to keeping your feet warm is to have enough room for a couple of pairs of socks. Cotton on the inside, wool on the outside. Probably goretex or thinsulite socks now. And keep your boots dry by keeping them properly greased.

I must be insane. I just volunteered to take over organizing the Secret Santa program. Liz has had problems and hasn't been able to follow through. We're all desperate to start tormenting each other. I may have to spread some cards out on the kitchen table, so you guys clean up the spilled maple syrup, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 05:24 PM

I'm not sure about deer, but I've heard you can attract grizzlies by walking through the bush with some fresh cut bloody beef slung over your shoulder and yelling, "Here, bear!" at regular intervals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 03:23 PM

Re pepper in yer boots? I'll try that next cold day eh.

The key to foot warmth is to keep the blood pumping. Simply raising heel to arse alternatively if you must stand in place will help greatly. Or a fire, but no sense in standing there as deer have oldfactories and earfactories which will warn them away. Unless you make your fire about 15' up in a tree... but, you probably won't get any deer by doing that either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 02:41 PM

Iffen ya put a nice thick layer of horse manure in the bottom of yer bottoms it'll not only give soft insoles, but as it "works" it'll provide ya a plumb organic foot warmer, too. Since ain't nobody in their right mind changes socks or longhandles during the winter won't nobody notice, neither.


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