BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 06:06 PM

Hell, even the boys in the Big House know the difference between fresh and putrid, Rapaire...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 06:05 PM

Black and shiney? Not flat green and flat brown camo? He must be one a them big city rednecks.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 05:50 PM

So: car theft, selling without papers, defrauding the fool who bought it, fleeing to avoid arrest...shucks, Don, you could send him up the river for a loooooooooooooong time. Betcha the boys in the prison could use some nice, fresh, meat....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 03:54 PM

Yeah? What would YOU flippin' do if you had a brother like mine? Give him the keys to yer car and say "If ya reach Fresno and don't have no money left, feel free to, like, sell the car, eh? What is a brother for?" ??? Gimme a flippin' break. He is gonna crawl, man!

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 03:28 PM

Oh, the bitterness, the infamous rancor between siblings!! And LH complains about me!! If I harbored such anger towards him as his projection Don does to his siblings, Mom would just kick me right out of the house, and I would have to hitchike to California and live on the streets!!


Again...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 03:09 PM

Okay, I got some good news and some bad news, eh?

The good news: I got my truck back. The police found it in Elliot Lake where some bolthole bought it illeegal without no papers from idiot-boy. Apparantly the little brother ran out of gas and money after toolin' around for a coupla days so he sold MY truck for $300 to the bolthole in Elliot Lake like I menshuned before, eh?

The bad news: The fliphead who bought my truck tried to flippin' disgise it by puttin' on some old expyired plates he had and brush paintin' it a really shitty shade of green! My truck is suppost to be black, eh? And shiny. Or it used to be. It is now only HALF black becoz the police caught the fliphead when his backyard paint job was only, like, half done, eh? The moron was using a house paint brush and roller to do it. So it is puke green from the front bumper (INCLUDIN' the CROME!) to about halfway back and then shiny black from there on. Holy flip! What a flippin' mess!

I am gonna make idiot-boy LICK off the green paint with his tungue when the police haul his sorry ass back here!

So the brainless one (my baby brother) is still at large, eh? He is probally busy spendin' the $300 and gettin' drunk at some bar. The cops are lookin' for him and I am sure they will find him. Every cop in North Ontario KNOWS what he looks like by now, eh? He is famous here, but not in such a good way, know what I mean?

Did I say he was still "at large"? Lemme reword that, okay? He is "at small", eh? Real small. Like a stale chipmunk turd layin' on the ground.

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 02:51 PM

And some heels not even beer can condition.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 01:27 PM

Darn right.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 01:26 PM

Even with beer goggles, a dingleberry is a dingleberry.

There are some conditions even beer can't heal, but don't tell him I said that; it would shake him up.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 01:12 PM

Not if you offer him free beer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 12:58 PM

According to autobiographical reports this makes him hard to play with.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 12:53 PM

Shame wouldn't know, not having anything but dingle-berries.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 11:28 AM

"It ain't easy to get ahold of a bull's mungo-berries, eh?" - Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 11:10 AM

Wasn't in the throat, it was in the bottom of the chin. Fool matador was using a plastic hilted sword, too, it appears. I say, good for the bull (bueno por el toro). You want some REAL bull, try this one, this one, or this one.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 10:39 AM

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Patient exhibits two or more of the following symptoms for a period of more than two postings:

* Keeps replying to you on a public forum even though you've told them you're not going to respond to them.

* Brings up something you said months ago, as if it has anything to do with anything.

* E-mails you after you e-mailed them telling them not to e-mail you.

* Is a complete jerk.

Narcissistic Disorder
Patient exhibits two or more of the following symptoms:

* Thinks they're right all the time.

* Doesn't shut up even though they're obviously wrong and you proved it.

* Is a complete jerk.

Furthermore, your internet psychology degree entitles you to present a diagnosis of Aspberger syndrome without any formal analysis because you can just tell, OK? You've got a degree!

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 09:59 AM

The image of the bull's horn gradually protruding from the matador's mouth is one I shall never forget.

In fact I will use this post as a memorandum of it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 01:03 AM

That little bull? The guy was just getting ready to stomp in the rope, like Rapaire stomped on the snake.

Not for the faint of heart, this was one really nasty meet-up between a bull and a human. (Scroll down, but it really is awful, so you may not want to.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 11:52 PM

See what I mean? Mom's kids have no problem figgering on how to handle the bull.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 03:18 PM

They got him headed. Now they oughta heel him, spread him out, and have some mountain oysters. Critter'll be a lot gentler afterward, too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 03:15 PM

Does that guy standing in road (far right of bull picture) got his legs crossed cuz he is shitting hisself? Or has he already lost his mungo-berries due to an unfortunate bull horn to groin related accident?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 02:12 PM

What I don't get is why them there lads didn't put two ropes on that there cow. Only had one length a rope? If so, why did they untie it? Don't make no sense ta this good ol Kent County boy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 01:27 PM

LOL!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 01:17 PM

Maybe he did and that's why he's missing.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 01:10 PM

Shane always advises grabbing the bull "by the mungo-berries". He advises it, but I don't think he's ever done it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 01:07 PM

The reason more folks don't come and visit Mom is because they can't deal with the bull. Now the secret is out.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 11:40 AM

That's really lovely, Rapaire.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 10:31 AM

Just before the day starts, Mother,
I am thinking most of you,
While upon the coming day we're gazing
With the daily grind in view.
Comrades brave are 'round me lying,
Telling tales of girls and beer
For well they know that by the morrow,
They will lucky just to leer.

Farewell, mother, you may never
Press me to your breast again;
Tho' I'd be among the cowards, Mother;
You'll never find me 'mongst the slain.

                --Wyrkyn De Roots, Songs Of Home And Yard
                (Don, Idaho: Phi Theta Alpha, 1865)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:19 PM

Eiseley left a few minutes ago. She was still pretty sober, too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 09:54 PM

The place is still a mess, although some of the walls look paintlike. This is the most irritating project I have ever been through. Still typing in the garage via laptop. I'm lucky the Airport network is even operational here!! Oy!! Such tsuris as I got you should never have!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:34 PM

This may be the first time in the history of our existence as Sibs Under Mom (whose TLA is SUM) that we all agree on something aside from just counting... Goes to show that the SUM is greater than the hole in its parts...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 04:08 PM

"Bravery is mostly doing what you have to do."

Exactly. I don't regard myself as very brave. But once or twice I've simply did what I had to. And then been kind of surprised that I managed it...afterward.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:39 PM

Speaking of bravery, it's a good thing I had on brown pants....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:33 PM

Well, I think that the Upper Portneuf is in SE Idaho. I'm pretty sure it is, anyway.

Once it had missed I was afraid it would take another shot at me and not miss. Holding a snake just behind the head immobilizes the biting ability (unlike, say, the middle or the tail). I stepped on the tail because it was whipping around. Then I couldn't think of anything better to do (brother Tony: "Why didn't you shoot it?" Me: "No gun, and besides, you just want me to shoot myself in the foot AND get snakebit") so I picked it up and threw it in the river.

Thank you, but doing that once is plenty. More than enough, in fact. The next time I go to Medicare Beach and not Cardiac Arrest Beach.

(Bravery is mostly doing what you have to do.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:25 PM

WOW, Rapaire! You're so brave. Even thinking about it is a little disconcerting. Now, I don't have a snake phobia, but I just don't like the idea bending down to pick up and then throw something with sharp venomous fangs.

How were you able to just step on it like that? Didn't it squirm and try to strike even harder? Did you throw it right in the middle of the drunk guys' camp?

Maybe you should choose a different fishing hole. Here's a site that might have some good alternatives. Look at the lunker that lady caught! (Hmmm, think it tasted like chicken?)

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:43 PM

Just can't let go of that bone, can you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:37 PM

Indeed--for example, coming up with Chongo Chimp, inter alia, a clear case of flight or drool response...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:21 PM

It's amazing the things we manage to do when confronted with sudden danger. If one had time to think about it beforehand, one would probably not have the nerve.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:12 PM

Having eaten rattlesnake a few times I think it tastes like rattlesnake. Now, a fencepost or a lodgepole pine, THAT tastes like chicken...funny that chicken-fried steak doesn't, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 12:45 PM

I was out in the deserts of Baja investigating a gold strike with an engineer friend and a clutch of burly Mexicans about twenty years ago, and one of the men disappeared into the rugged rock formations around us and came back a while later with a dead rattler about four feet long.

His technique was different. He had approached the snake and relying on his own quickness had grabbed it by the tail and swung it in an arc energetically so it could not bend back and bite. This method would produce a much more powerful trajectory if he had thrown the snake, compared to Rapaire's safer two-handed technique. In the actual event, he slammed its head against a boulder and brought it back for dinner. Tastes like chicken, like most of the world...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:56 AM

Good job, Rapaire. I wonder what was passing through his little pea-brain as he found himself flying through the air about to pull a Sully?



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:51 AM

Yikes! What a possibility - a rattlesnake throwing contest - now doesn't that sound like fun?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 09:58 PM

Wow! You are the Man, Rapaire! Of course, I already knew that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 09:46 PM

Well, okay.

I was fishing and trying to free a snagged lure. I finally cut the line, reeled it in, and turned to go to the car and go home. For some reason I drew my right foot back and the rattlesnake missed. So I put my boot just behind its head. Then I put my left boot (my feet were in them, by the way) just in front of the rattles.

I threw the rod, butt end first, towards the car.

Then I reached down and picked up the snake, holding both ends VERY firmly. I raised it above my head and threw it as far downstream as I could. Last seen the snake was swimming to the other bank.

I neatly packed up everything and drove home.

I thought about maybe cutting off the snake's head and sending it to Shame but I saw no reason for even a rattlesnake to die for Shame. And if I'd sent the whole thing to him, alive, it would have died from his fumes. Instead, it got to sit in some rattlesnake bar and say to its friends, "Man, you'll never BELIEVE what happened today!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 06:46 PM

Heh! My inner fop sneers down his patrician nose at your vain protestations, Amos, and orders a fresh serving of mussels and champagne, only the best of course...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 06:03 PM

Oh, the unanchored phantasmagorical fugues of unreason that blow through these hallowed halls when Mom's napping. If she only knew!! Your unflattering pictures, Little Hawk, are confessions of your own hidden desires. 'Fess up!! You can think of nothing more rewarding than finally becoming a landed fop!! Your inner fop cries out for acknowledgement!! If only you could get away with powdering that long-haired toupée you would be in seventh heaven!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 04:40 PM

I simlply assumed you weren't hungry, Rap.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 04:40 PM

I'm dying to know why! I was just too busy earlier to ask. I got distracted. Was it a present for Shane? Please enlighten us!

By the way, did you like my picture of you as I see you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 04:34 PM

Well, since no one wants to know why I threw away a live rattlesnake, I'm not going to tell you! So there!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 03:53 PM

According to the code that one indicates that she is flirtatious. Seems reasonably probable, doesn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 03:31 PM

Then there is this beauty mark.