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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 04 Jul 10 - 02:46 PM
Amos 04 Jul 10 - 02:15 PM
Acme 04 Jul 10 - 01:09 PM
Janie 04 Jul 10 - 02:08 AM
Amos 04 Jul 10 - 12:06 AM
Rapparee 03 Jul 10 - 05:56 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 03 Jul 10 - 04:35 PM
Amos 03 Jul 10 - 01:34 PM
Amos 03 Jul 10 - 01:17 PM
Amos 03 Jul 10 - 12:50 PM
Acme 03 Jul 10 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 10 - 12:28 PM
Amos 03 Jul 10 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 03 Jul 10 - 10:33 AM
Amos 02 Jul 10 - 11:58 PM
Acme 02 Jul 10 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 10 - 09:29 PM
Amos 02 Jul 10 - 06:34 PM
Acme 02 Jul 10 - 05:41 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 10 - 12:45 PM
Acme 02 Jul 10 - 12:08 PM
Amos 02 Jul 10 - 11:41 AM
Amos 02 Jul 10 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 10 - 09:57 AM
MMario 02 Jul 10 - 08:47 AM
Acme 02 Jul 10 - 01:10 AM
Rapparee 01 Jul 10 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 10 - 09:54 PM
Amos 01 Jul 10 - 08:38 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 10 - 06:11 PM
Amos 01 Jul 10 - 03:19 PM
Amos 01 Jul 10 - 12:55 PM
Acme 01 Jul 10 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 10 - 10:14 AM
Amos 01 Jul 10 - 09:05 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 10 - 10:33 PM
Amos 30 Jun 10 - 10:25 PM
Amos 30 Jun 10 - 08:13 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 10 - 07:56 PM
Amos 30 Jun 10 - 03:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 10 - 02:47 PM
Acme 30 Jun 10 - 01:14 PM
Amos 30 Jun 10 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 10 - 10:49 AM
Amos 29 Jun 10 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 29 Jun 10 - 10:18 PM
Amos 29 Jun 10 - 02:55 PM
Acme 29 Jun 10 - 02:34 PM
Amos 29 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM
Amos 29 Jun 10 - 11:30 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 02:46 PM

See, Amos? You tried to fool Mother Nature.

By the way, I bought a PFD last evening for fishing. I hope that you have one for yak-yaking or whatever it is you do in the ocean. Don't get one in camouflage or they'll never find your body. Or you could come visit the Legion hovel and insult Eensy-Weensy Will and they'll never find your body either. The one I bought is bright blue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 02:15 PM

It was a terrible Saturday morning, Mom. The sky was dark when I arrived at the beach, and I thought it would pass away into blue and sunlight, but it had no such impulse. It stayed dark. There was a cold breeze appearing and fading away. The set onto the beach was hard to predict--occasional high, pushy rollers, series of small choppy waves, random stuff. I launched at the perfect moment, and cut through the first line and found myself being raised up by an unexpected green monster of cold water, and my eye was off, my timing was off, and I got thrashed, rolled into the cold water without a moments fare-thee-well by this shoulder of salty water. I was seriously peeved, soaked to the bone. I pulled back to the shallows, put things back to rights--minus one coffee cup--and collected my wits for a second try. This time I got slapped around only mildy, slopped on by passing curlers, but I cut through and made it out to the restless bosom of deeper water. It had been too long since I was out, and I was out of shape, winded, chilled, and still pissed off.

AFter a brief sojourn, the wind got colder and the slop refused to settle down, so I figured. "Screw this for a game of soldiers" and turned to the shore again, watching over my left shoulder like a hanging judge for the onset of rollers coming in behind me. I knew the drill--pick up your wave and follow it in as it passes under you, so you coast through it as it is falling back out to sea from the shore. Easy.

But this time, the wave I chose to ride in was high, boisterous, and even though I rode it well, I little thought it had a first cousin coming in close behind, which picked me up fast in the shallows and slewed me broadside to, pitching me into more cold salt water and stealing my hat.

I was absolutely peeved, I tell you. I hauled in and brought the car down, loaded up and strapped her down chattering like some kind of ape and shaking through and through in the wet wind. By the time I got hime, unloaded and cleaned up, I was a most mizzuble specimen, I yam here to tell ya.

Finally I got into a hot shower and managed to restore my core temperature to something in the high eighties, and began to breath normally again. Now, I'm fine, it is just an unpleasant recollection to me, nothing more.

But I was pretty pissed at the sea for doublecrossing her loyal fan, I tell you. She never hits you except when you are unready. So the sailors tell you. I suspect she's been put into a bitchy frame of mind by sewage and British Petroleum.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 01:09 PM

Janie, I can't tell you how important and valuable it is to know all of the staff in a place like that. Getting to know the individuals who do the tough jobs (and the job is what they do, not who they are) sometimes without much acknowledgment, can help understand so much more than just your job at hand. I always tended to get to know the maintenance folks pretty quickly, the landscapers, etc, in jobs, and all I can say is that it makes a difference when you work in a place. Hard to quantify, but it does.

Eiseley, good job, even if the outcome had a little more payback than you planned. Sometimes just one or two words is enough to make yourself understood.

Ooooh! A pretty little cardinal just perched in the tree outside my window! MOM, come quick and look!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 02:08 AM

One week into the NEW JOB! Since my boss, the CFO, was out with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, the secretary (and as always, the ONE WHO REALLY RUNS THINGS,) was out with her hubby having (whatever is the word for heart by-pass surgery for 6 vessel by-passes), and the doc was on vacation in France, I have had the opportunity to invent myself. I'm off to a great start with the cafeteria workers and the IT folks.

Not only that, by the end of the week I could find my way unassisted from the parking lot to the wing of the hospital in which I work. HUZZAH!!!

Problem is, when everybody gets back to work (hopefully, come Monday the secretary will be there) I get to reinvent myself all over again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 12:06 AM

No, no!! MORE communication is the right action. Tell him off and send him on his way of his attentions are excessive. Slap his face in public if need be. That ought to get the message across.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 05:56 PM

I visited you and my Persuader was there before I was. You had two (2) young men with you (although they seemed to be tending bar) who could have stepped in to defend you from unwanted and untoward advances. However, I'm certain that if my Persuader had been there....
(Sigh.) You can only teach them; they must put the teachings into action.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 04:35 PM

I have to stop speaking other languages.

Today at the Farmers' Market I practiced Spanish with a luggage-hauling man from Mexico who was waiting for the Greyhound to take him out of town. He decided to while away his layover by my side---FOR THREE HOURS! By the time he left he had bought a cantaloupe for the bookwagon visitors and a watermelon for my sons. Also un besos grande para mi! I would gladly have done without that last. Where was Rapaire with his Persuader?

So in future, austerity and shushing will be my trademark actions.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 01:34 PM

No...that's Ralphing, I think. Rolfing was named after Ida Rolf, an early student of Dianetics back in the Fifties who developed a sort of combination muscle-kneading and engram-resolving approach. I really don't know much about it.

"What is Rolfing Structural Integration?

Named after its founder, Dr. Ida P. Rolf, Rolfing Structural Integration is a form of bodywork that reorganizes the connective tissues, called fascia, that permeate the entire body.

More than fifty years ago, Dr. Rolf recognized that the body is inherently a system of seamless networks of tissues rather than a collection of separate parts. These connective tissues surround, support and penetrate all of the muscles, bones, nerves and organs. Rolfing works on this web-like complex of connective tissues to release, realign and balance the whole body.

Essentially, the Rolfing process enables the body to regain the natural integrity of its form, thus enhancing postural efficiency and your freedom of movement.

VIEW VIDEOS ON ROLFING

What are the benefits?

Rolfing Structural Integration has the ability to dramatically alter a person's posture and structure. Rolfing can potentialy resolve discomfort, release tension and alleviate pain. Rolfing aims to restore flexibility, revitalize your energy and leave you feeling more comfortable in your body.

Athletes, dancers, children, business professionals, and people from all walks of life have benefited from Rolfing. People seek Rolfing as a way to ease pain and chronic stress, and improve performance in their professional and daily activities. It's estimated that more than 1 million people have received Rolfing work.

Research has demonstrated that Rolfing creates a more efficient use of the muscles, allows the body to conserve energy, and creates more economical and refined patterns of movement. Research also shows that Rolfing significantly reduces chronic stress and changes in the body structure. For example, a study showed that Rolfing significantly reduced the spinal curvature of subjects with lordosis (sway back); it also showed that Rolfing enhances neurological functioning."

From their Institute's website.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 01:17 PM

Seems to me all 100 of these pale in comparison with the rich and subtle weavingsof insults found in Mom's archives.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 12:50 PM

Rolfers, as a rule, keep their balls with them at all times, assuming they have acquired some naturally. Those that acquire soe by legal, non-organic means such as civil partnerships, common-law engagements, marriage and other quaint social devices, have been known to leave them in random locations.

Buddhists tend to rise above theirs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 12:48 PM

Isn't rolfing the same as throwing up? Or is it the same as kegels?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 12:28 PM

They leave their balls are all over my back yard. Oh. Sorry. You wrote Rolfer. I thought you wrote Golfer!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 11:22 AM

Ah, so. An excellent approach. I suggest you add a Buddhist and a Rolfer just to round out the picture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 10:33 AM

One one day and the other the next.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 11:58 PM

I thought it was going to be a psychiatrist?!! How did you get deflated?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 11:49 PM

Is the psychologist okay? Are you okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 09:29 PM

Hey, Mom!! I visited the psychologist today!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 06:34 PM

Them sort of Texans aren't like W, who would never fold no matter what. THAT sort of Texan would go for a Texan Crease at the drop of a deficit. And when asked why they were so obtuse they would ignore all upbraiding until you hollered "Deaf, is it?"


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 05:41 PM

No. They're Texans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 12:45 PM

So Texas ain't gonna celebrate the Glorious Fourth, huh?? Seems like The Legion might have somethin' ta say about that...what are these Texans? Commies? Pinkos? Tories?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 12:08 PM

We don't get a holiday at all in Texas if the actual date falls on a weekend. They pile our holidays into a bunch of days at the end of the year and a few observed during the year (MLK, Memorial Day, Labor Day) that automatically end up on a Monday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 11:41 AM

"A stochastic process is said to be ergodic if its statistical properties (such as its mean and variance) can be deduced from a single, sufficiently long sample (realization) of the process.

A finite Markov chain is ergodic if there is a path in the chain from each state to every other state, so that every state is reachable, no matter what the initial condition.

One can discuss the ergodicity of various properties of a stochastic process. For example, a wide-sense stationary process x(t) has mean = E[x(t)] and autocovariance rx() = E[(x(t) − )(x(t + ) − )] which do not change with time. One way to estimate the mean is to perform a time average.


If ... converges in squared mean to as , then the process x(t) is said to be mean-ergodic[1] or mean-square ergodic in the first moment.[2]

Likewise, one can estimate the autocovariance rx() by performing a time average.


If this expression converges in squared mean to the true autocovariance rx() = E[(x(t) − )(x(t + ) − )], then the process is said to be autocovariance-ergodic or mean-square ergodic in the second moment.[2]

A process which is ergodic in the first and second moments is sometimes called ergodic in the wide sense.[2]..."

(Wikipedia)


Mom, here's what I want to know. How did we get in such a state as a species that we have to talk like that? What's wrong with us that we have to prance around uttering such overwrought loops of semantic buffoonery?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 10:03 AM

tychism SECOND EDITION 1989


(takz()m) [f. Gr. chance + -ISM.]

The doctrine that objective account must be taken of the element of chance in (philosophical, cosmological, etc.) reasoning.

1892 C. S. PEIRCE in Monist II. 533, I endeavored to show what ideas ought to form the warp of a system of philosophy, and particularly emphasised that of absolute chance..which it will be convenient to christen tychism (from , chance). 1926 J. LAIRD Study in Moral Theory viii. 173 The theory that every event..is necessary (or must occur precisely as it does occur) I shall call determinism? The opposite theory I shall call tychism, such tychism being either general or restricted. 1978 Sci. Amer. July 18/1 At a time when determinism dominated physics Peirce's doctrine of `tychism' maintained that pure chanceevents undetermined by prior causesare basic to the universe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 09:57 AM

Gonna spend the Fourth eluding.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 08:47 AM

Texas doesn't shift sunday holidays to monday? Our "fourth" is celebrated on the fifth this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 01:10 AM

Tomorrow is Friday, right? And the Fourth of July is on Sunday, right? So the only friggin way I'm going to get a three or four day weekend this week is if I take vacation time?

Bummer. But I think I'll do it anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 10:37 PM

I dunno where they've been, but maybe Dr. Monica knows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 09:54 PM

Armarium consumatum est. Eiseley visum is vota.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 08:38 PM

Only if you can tell me where it's been....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 06:11 PM

Care for a cigar, old chum? I've got tons of them....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 03:19 PM

From your description she will set you up to scream about sexual fantasies and give you a cigar every time you do it right....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 12:55 PM

A psychiatrist???!!!!


Ohhh, no, Mister Hands. I retract all my harsh remarks.

Why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 12:02 PM

It's supposed to rain again. MOM's house is beginning to smell a little musty. One of you guys, climb up on the roof and see if there are any loose shakes up there. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 10:14 AM

You'll be pleased to know that I'm going to see a psychiatrist is a couple hours. She's a Primal Scream Freudian Skinnerite, so I'll have to yell things about Mom as loudly as possible while also screaming that it's just the way things were determined. I think it might be a religion, kinda like the Holy Rollers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 09:05 AM

Well there are many sites that may have lipoids to be suctioned, old friend. But never mind. THe last thing Mom needs is to be unable to recognize her own.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 10:33 PM

Liposuction??? My head was and has been fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 10:25 PM

Or maybe it's just coming to the Fourth....again...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 08:13 PM

Oh, you poor benighted soul. How could they schedule you so thoughtlessly, and for liposuction, too! What's the world coming to? That's what I want to know!! My guess is "the end of July as we know it....".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:56 PM

Envy ill becomes you, Amos. Perhaps you don't realize that today my nap was delayed for nearly two hours because of a doctor's appointment!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 03:31 PM

Nice being REE-tahred, innit? Sheesh!!!!

MOM!! We made our rezes for Nova Scotia, going up into the boonies near Livingston Cove to hang with my cousin, the famous Sculptor, for a few days. What a nice break that will be! Hope I can remember how to use an outhouse...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 02:47 PM

Hot, bugs galore, no fish biting except those pirahnas skeletonizing the dead cow upstream, and I stepped into a hole on the way back to the car and prit near broke my cannonbone and then I'd have to put myself down.

Yeah, all in all a right nice day. Like they say, the worst day fishing/hunting is better than the best day working.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 01:14 PM

My last post didn't stick. Sounds like you had a fun day out in Nature, Rap!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 12:59 PM

I think what he means is he doesn't want to have steel bars in his immediate environment, especially across all the windows. And he doesn't want any prison bulls in his environment.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 10:49 AM

Next time I'm just going to use a dip net or a fish trap. I'd use fish poison but I Care About The Environment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 11:31 PM

I'll say he went over the limit!! Good thing Mom isn't paying close attention.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:18 PM

Dang. Couldn't get a nibble no matter what I tried. I could SEE the danged things, nice sized trout, and I floated flies, lures, and even used a plain old baited hook setup right past them. After a couple of hours I was ready to wade in and toss 'em up on the bank, grizzly style, but I know that patience is good. So I lugged my gear back to the car, got out a DuPont Spinner and with that and my net hiked back to the Ol' Fishin' Hole. I put the spinner a bit upstream and the current carried it right where I wanted it. After the explosion I netted some nice trout (some slightly shredded) and brought home my limit in cutthroat, rainbow, brown, crappie, large- and small- mouth bass, catfish, bluegill, sunfish, a couple of sturgeon and an octopus (which I'll give to my Greek friends). AND I got out of there before the game warden arrived! All in all a pretty good day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 02:55 PM

Well, I dunno. I think some folks catch a limit at a very early age and never come to realize they have done.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 02:34 PM

It's still raining. Amazing.

MOM got tired of playing out there and was picking up the worms on the sidewalk. That's why Rapaire went fishing, because she found all of that easy bait for him. I expect he'll be back when he runs out of worms. Or catches a limit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM

Boy, we can see who keeps Mom all stirred up. Rapaire goes fishing and the house suddenly whispers with quietude like a dawn rose. The ruction and the dust are all settled and harmony, however briefly, reigns.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 11:30 AM

Rapaire, don't go fishin'!! Go fyooshin'!!!


A


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