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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 24 May 10 - 01:26 PM
Little Hawk 24 May 10 - 11:51 AM
Little Hawk 24 May 10 - 11:43 AM
Acme 24 May 10 - 11:33 AM
Little Hawk 24 May 10 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 24 May 10 - 11:16 AM
Amos 24 May 10 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 24 May 10 - 09:51 AM
Acme 24 May 10 - 12:42 AM
Eiseley 23 May 10 - 11:20 PM
Amos 23 May 10 - 11:11 PM
Little Hawk 23 May 10 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 10:56 PM
Little Hawk 23 May 10 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 10:43 PM
Amos 23 May 10 - 10:06 PM
Little Hawk 23 May 10 - 09:58 PM
Eiseley 23 May 10 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 08:30 PM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 05:51 PM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 05:49 PM
Amos 23 May 10 - 05:15 PM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 02:39 PM
Little Hawk 23 May 10 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 10:28 AM
Amos 23 May 10 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 23 May 10 - 12:36 AM
Acme 23 May 10 - 12:28 AM
Acme 23 May 10 - 12:23 AM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 11:34 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 10:09 PM
Eiseley 22 May 10 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 09:41 PM
Eiseley 22 May 10 - 08:47 PM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 08:30 PM
Eiseley 22 May 10 - 07:45 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 07:28 PM
Eiseley 22 May 10 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 04:10 PM
Acme 22 May 10 - 03:43 PM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 02:38 PM
Amos 22 May 10 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 02:19 PM
Amos 22 May 10 - 01:39 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 01:26 PM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 12:48 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 10 - 01:26 PM

Rap... "5.54 mm"

TELL me that's a typo!

Tsk, tsk!

Jus funnin, bud. Is the safety on?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 May 10 - 11:51 AM

Now, the girls...girls didn't have many role models in those old movies and TV shows who were normally seen carrying a gun, so naturally girls were not generally interested in playing with guns either. The only female role model in that sense that I can think of back in the 40s, 50s, and 60s was Annie Oakley, who gained fame in Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show.

When you think about it, there's been quite a blurring of the once strongly separated gender roles in society. Young women are now much more inclined to adopt aggressive or assertive behaviours that were formerly seen almost exclusively as "male"...and in today's movies you see any number of female "action" heroes who play the kind of heroic roles once played almost exclusively by men. The girls aren't there just to scream, faint, and get rescued any longer. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 May 10 - 11:43 AM

Well, when I was a kid we did play with all those things too, of course, Stilly, but there was no greater joy for a young boy than to get hold of a BB gun, and I'll tell you why: because we all grew up on adventure movies and TV westerns, and in them our heroes were firing off guns, that's why. Davy Crockett, Daniel Boone, Wyatt Earp, Jungle Jim, etc...they were all guys toting guns, okay? So a boy's natural sense of adventure was directly tied to toting a gun.

Believe me, if BB guns had been available when Tom Sawyer was a kid, every boy in America would have wanted one desperately. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 10 - 11:33 AM

Whatever happened to kids playing with old fashioned toys like sling shots? Pea shooters? Boomerangs? Balls and bats? All create projectiles or are rapidly moving objects that can break things, hurt when they hit, and do major property damage. But they're down a few levels in the scale of deadly force. Generally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 May 10 - 11:27 AM

That gun, Rapaire, is the lineal descendant of the Germ MP-44, which is the gun I posted the picture of.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 10 - 11:16 AM

Hey, it was only an AK-74. 5.54 mm Russian. What you think I am?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 10 - 10:48 AM

How noble is yon Rapaire, to tender such knowledge and power into the questing hands of one so young!! Oh, cheers and hurrahs for the towering figure of BooqieManne, who has delivered a lethal weapon into the hands of a child.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 10 - 09:51 AM

Tell them for me that rolling over onto a rifle, pistol or blade ain't exactly conducive to sleep -- roll over on a wad of keys and a cell phone and you'll get a faint idea of what it's like. And if you suffer from enuresis you have to clean it in the morning -- not to mention what the guy in the bottom bunk might feel about you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 10 - 12:42 AM

Stick you your guns, Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 May 10 - 11:20 PM

There's BLM land about two blocks away from the house, so tonight the intrepid hunters and I clambered up the steep path and shot two plastic bottles to death up in the hills. The boys are trying to convince me to let them sleep with their weapons.

Nope!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 10 - 11:11 PM

Did you check his green card?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 May 10 - 11:02 PM

That was not my son. It was the gardener. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 10:56 PM

I've been wondering: Why was your son wearing a tee shirt that had some sort of slogan in Arabic on the front and a picture of Bin Laden on the back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 May 10 - 10:56 PM

Ho. Ho. ;-D Such witty repartee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 10:43 PM

Yes, LH is truly a self-made man in every respect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 10 - 10:06 PM

It came entirely from within.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 May 10 - 09:58 PM

Don't worry about it, Eisely. I blasted holes in thousands of tin cans during my youth, sank cardboard ships that I built, shot at dandelion tufts and bugs, popped away at plastic toy soldiers in earth bunkers and trenches I built in the ravine...and none of that has led to a life of crime and violence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 May 10 - 09:48 PM

Corruption of the innocent!

He's thrilled with it and wants to go up in the hills and blast holes in cans tonight. Why Rapaire wanted to move it out I don't know. Maybe it clashed with his other weapons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 08:30 PM

I saw Eiseley's son today and gave him a rifle. I hope his mother doesn't mind much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 05:51 PM

However...I will settle for MOM's sister's name: Aunty Pasta.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 05:49 PM

Once again, Amos embarrasses himself by his lack of knowledge of languages other than English. Ah, well, what can you expect from a Southern Californian Neo-Conservative "Birther" hippy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 10 - 05:15 PM

As a scholar, Rapaire again embrasses his noble self by confusing vowles "e" aand "i" in their micro-morphemic meanings. Life is an ante-particle, but antimatter is made of antiparticles. The debate about secession was one of the antecedents of the Civil War, but the Yankees were dedicate anti-cedents.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 02:39 PM

No, no, you serve the antipachyderm BEFORE the pachyderm. It's a lovely appetizer, much like antipasto.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 May 10 - 01:01 PM

You heartless anti-pachyderm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 10:28 AM

With a hard skin and they're all stringy and rubbery inside. The golfers as well as their balls, I mean. Mammoth is delicious; I prefer it with a Bourdelaise sauce, but won't turn it down if it's hickory-smoked and then barbecued.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 10 - 10:23 AM

Also delicious with the right sauce--mammoth, that is, not golfer. Golfers tend to taste a bit plaid, and their balls are small and hard.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 10:17 AM

Ah, Mom! Sunday, and it's beautiful outside! The Woolly Mammoths huddled together for warmth look like a scene from the Ice Ages against the glaciers and ice-blue sky of Southeastern Idaho. And, perhaps most importantly, they keep the golfers down. Flat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 10 - 12:36 AM

And, with the right sauce, delicious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 10 - 12:28 AM

Oh, Eiseley, I realized after I picked up the little guy that I probably should have had on gloves. I saw the mites on my arms, so hopped in the shower within minutes of returning it to it's nest. I'll be taking preventative measures re the house once the kiddos move on. I think they're some kind of sparrow--low in stature in the bird world, perhaps, but all birds are cute at this age.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 10 - 12:23 AM

Chongo's story reminds me of one I loved in childhood - Horton Hatches the Egg. Pathos and drama abound. Curiosity, gentle sensibilities, all are there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 11:34 PM

Those people at Blackwater give me the creeps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 10:09 PM

Can I shoot my brother's eye out? Instead?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 May 10 - 10:00 PM

No. You have enough guns already.

Besides, if you're not careful with the ones you have, you might shootcher eye out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 09:41 PM

Oh, get him something modern! (I'd like one too, if you have an extra.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 May 10 - 08:47 PM

Wow!
Who'da thunk??!


Thanks for the history, LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 08:30 PM

Those sten guns are the most horrible, innacurate little bastardized things. Dreadful. Here's what the boy needs:

Now, THAT's good firepower!


Eisley - Chongo was born in west central Africa, exact location not certain, to a roving band of forest chimps, sometime in the early 20th century, probably around 1913. He lived a merry life in the jungle into the early years of his adolescence, during which he developed a strong hostility toward Black Africans and Leopards and other such threats to his daily existence.

Being an ape with a keen curiosity and very good powers of observation, Chongo noted that the African tribesmen who were hunting him and his bandmates were making much use of handheld weaponry, including primitive rifles. He surmised that a chimp who mastered the use of these same weapons would be in a better position to defend himself, and in a better bargaining position, as it were.

Then came a stroke of destiny. A White hunting and trading party came through Chongo's area. Chongo was fascinated by the unusual appearance of these foreigners and the exotic equipment and clothing they were outfitted with. Furthermore, he noted that they appeared to have authority over the African bearers who were traveling with them.

By a series of carefully planned overtures, Chongo succeeded in befriending one of the Whites, and was duly accepted into their company as a sort of mascot. He quickly learned how to increase his popularity by "aping" human behaviour and language, wearing clothing, and using common tools. By the time the expedition returned to the coast, Chongo was not only well acquainted with the use of firearms and all the other common devices of the time, but was also speaking fluent English, Bantu, and Swahili. He had reached an uneasy truce with the Black Africans, and was soon given a job loading and unloading ships at the local port.

It was clear to Chongo that the main "action" lay not in the sleepy west African ports, but somewhere across that vast ocean that lay to the west, in a fabled land called "America". He got a job on a tramp steamer, a banana boat, and made landfall in New York City in the late 20s.

Chongo never looked back from there. A job as a stevedore got him through the first year on the New York waterfronts where Chongo came face to face with the endemic specism that has always haunted the "Land of the Free". He flirted briefly with organized crime on the streets of New York, but fortunately decided to cast his lot instead with the forces of law and justice.

Moving to Chicago during the violent years of Prohibition, Chongo hung out his sign as a "Primate Eye" and battled crime, vice, and lawlessness, rubbing shoulders with the likes of Elliot Ness and Melvin Pervis. He helped put Capone away and spent years battling racketeers, mobsters, and the notorious North Side Gorillas gang.

And he's still doing that sort of thing to this day. Yessir, you can thank Chongo for the fact that gorillas have not taken over the inner cities in America, and chimps can now run for public office, and "p**pflinging" has finally been recognized as the unacceptable specist term it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 May 10 - 07:45 PM

No, no, no, no, NO!

Next thing I know he'll try to make his own P-90 or whatever that blammer is!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 07:28 PM

Such a deal have I got for Tom! How about a copy of US Army's handbook on improvised explosives? Written for the Special Forces and tells you how to make your own. And just for him, and if you act within the next ten minutes, I will throw in photocopies of plans wherewith he can make his own sten gun! What kid wouldn't want to have his or her very own 9mm submachine gun that they made themselves? And what better family project could there be? Act now...operators are standing by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 May 10 - 05:21 PM

O Mitey Stilly, you have done a good deed indeed. I looked up bird mites and felt that it would not be friendly to post the link. Here is a nicer picture.

The only thing I can add to the boys' banter is that my son Tom, who makes big plans about how to spend his money, has a new idea of what he can buy. In the past he has wanted to spend his allowance on such things as 3 gallons of raw milk, hundreds of Pokemon cards, a lifetime supply of matches, rare coins?things like that. But yesterday he asked if he could buy a monkey. "I look forward to changing its diapers, Mom," he said. "And I will set up a little hammock in my room for him to sleep in." I didn't dissuade him, just asked where he thought we could pick one up in Pocatello. His answer: "Oh, I bet they have some down at McKees ."

Where did Chongo come from?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 04:10 PM

WHICH green awning, Amos? I count at least three, and the poor, puzzled doctor must be mightily confused going to work each day. That's probably why he moved to the building with the blue striped thing hanging outside. That, and to meet a better class of people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 10 - 03:43 PM

Looks like Orchard St. and Park Avenue. Not far apart, a few stops by subway. Personally, I think the food is better down on Orchard St.

. . . Sauerkraut and Wehrmacht and Scheisskopf and Dachshund and Dumheit. reminds me: last weekend I took my pit bull and catahoula down to get their annual shots. A woman a couple of places back in the line, with two small wiener dogs, was filling out the paperwork. When she got to breed, she yelled out "who knows how to spell dachshund?" You'd think if she owns the dogs, she'd at LEAST be able to spell the breed. I helped her out with that one this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 02:38 PM

Nice street. Chongo's always wanted to have an office on a street like that. His present location looks a bit more like the street Rapaire posted the picture of, but the buildings are only 3 story, and it's not quite that conjested. Chongo's on the 3rd floor...a handy spot for keeping a good eye on the general area, yelling out the window, and beaning someone with an overripe mango or some such projectile on occasion (when there's a good reason to).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 10 - 02:32 PM

No, Rapaire. Obviously you've never dared venture onto Park Avenue. His office is the the one with the green awning. If you clean up a bit you might be able to walk past it without having the doorman call a patrolman.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 02:19 PM

His office is the one with the blue striped thing hanging up, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:39 PM

Rapaire:

I have received communication from the same Liebenscheiss, who is well and comfortable in his ritzy practice in posh offices on Park Avenue, Manhattan, NYC, where he gets to hear the trials and tribulations of those who are stressed by the overwhelming responsibilities of guiding hundreds of millions of dollars.

He suggests your little fantasy about fire-hoses may be some kind of projection, or perhaps a thinly-disguised plea for help. But he hastens to remind you that sometimes a fire-hose is just a fire-hose.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM

At 11:21 MDT on 5/21 it was 41F on my back porch and it is s*****g.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM

Oh dear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:26 PM

Il est passe, mon vieux. He was caught in the street with a hospital gown on backwards, running around and claiming he was a fire engine. When he pulled out his hose and put out a fire on the cop's leg he was hauled off and is now spending time (and electro-convulsive therapy) in the NYCFTTS. Sometimes he is hosed down with a cold-water hose, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:00 PM

Speaking of German, we haven't heard from Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss in some time. He can usually get to the heart of any matter and express it succinctly in a few well-chosen words of surpassing insight and brilliance. I wonder why he hasn't been around here lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 12:48 PM

Because Rapaire had for Many Years dealt with things like Incunabula and manuscripts and Still finds capitalization to be, as his predecessors did, something hit-or-Miss. Also, his Germanic Ancestry prompts him to capitalize Nouns, including Sauerstoff and Sauerkraut and Wehrmacht and Scheisskopf and Dachshund and Dumheit.


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