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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 07 Dec 07 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 07 Dec 07 - 12:00 PM
Amos 07 Dec 07 - 12:15 PM
Janie 07 Dec 07 - 02:14 PM
Amos 07 Dec 07 - 02:19 PM
Amos 07 Dec 07 - 03:16 PM
beardedbruce 07 Dec 07 - 03:18 PM
Amos 07 Dec 07 - 03:19 PM
Acme 07 Dec 07 - 04:28 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 07 - 04:59 PM
Amos 07 Dec 07 - 06:47 PM
Amos 07 Dec 07 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 07 - 09:40 PM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 12:24 AM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 12:29 AM
Janie 08 Dec 07 - 02:24 AM
Janie 08 Dec 07 - 02:33 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 07 - 09:11 AM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 09:19 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 07 - 09:50 AM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 10:02 AM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 10:35 AM
Acme 08 Dec 07 - 10:38 AM
Acme 08 Dec 07 - 11:00 AM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 07 - 02:50 PM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 04:37 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 08 Dec 07 - 06:24 PM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 08:31 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 07 - 10:26 PM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 12:16 AM
Rapparee 09 Dec 07 - 08:50 AM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 10:53 AM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:13 AM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 12:48 PM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 07 - 10:06 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:29 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:30 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:34 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 12:05 AM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 09:11 AM
Acme 10 Dec 07 - 09:51 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 11:39 AM

I am awfully happy to report the patent for the Q-Ring and HV Booster Adaptor is about ready. That booster circuit was a tough nut, especially with the 93 kilohertz option and the turbo mode.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:00 PM

Excellent! Your plan for world domination is right on track!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:15 PM

MWahahaa....just wait. Soon the World will realize the Power of BS. When our posting rate, instead of a puny 100 or so per day, is accelerated to 93 kiloherz and the booster circuit cuts in to remedy flow quality and balance topical gravitation distortions, the strange attractors will redistribute, and the power of all things shall devolve unto the Masters of BS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA...

AHem.


Now...yes....hmmmmm.


Where was I?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 02:14 PM

According to my records, you were at post 20957.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 02:19 PM

Yes, but only from the breakfast serial perspective.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 03:16 PM

Tell the fairies, tell each pixie,
This is Twenty, Nine and Sixty.
Tell the gnomes and lepperkuhn,
Soon we'll be at Twenty-One!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 03:18 PM

pixie/Sixty ??

(shudder)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 03:19 PM

Ya know BB -- ever since you stopped publishing my work, my obligation to poetic rigor has veered off toward poetic mortis.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 04:28 PM

And talk about "strange attractors." There are some folks who only seem to turn up when we're about to hit another big number.


Hmmmmm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 04:59 PM

Well, Mom, it's all arranged. I'm gonna have the colonoscopy on Janury 28 at 8 a.m. Yeah, I know that Sunday the 27th will be pretty crappy, but it really has to be done. Otherwise I could have all sorts of things go wrong, and dying of colorectal cancer just ain't the kind of gig I'd like to star in.

Of course, it's been done before. I still think it would have been cool if they had done the endoscopy and the colonoscopy at the same time: "Nurse! Nurse! I see a light!" Or they could just keep going and check my teeth from behind at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 06:47 PM

Or they could check your behind from your teeth.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 09:22 PM

IF they do, my advice is "Chin up, old fruit!"


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 09:40 PM

Geez, Amos, the doctor usually says, "Bottoms Up!"

I really only do it for the liquid Valium they give you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 12:24 AM

Yeah...I dig it, you being all respectable and a community man and all that. You can't just go cruising for a score like the ld days, man. BBut, well, it seems like a lot to go through for a pretty mediocre trip, if you see what I mean. Kind of like flying American Airlines.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 12:29 AM

Janie, how's the boy doing now the weekend hath arrived?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 02:24 AM

Weeelll -We are supposed to be in West Virginia right now for a gathering of the Clan from parts far and wide, and about double the number of friends and neighbors we thought would say yes, to celebrate my parent's 60th wedding anniversary. Doing the Do that usually gets done for the 50th, but didn't.

Annie and I (99.9% Annie -she is financing it, and has applied all her engineer skills to it so thoroughly that I simply got out of the way except to say stuff like "You go, Girl!" "Looks good to me" and "Sure, I'll address half the invitations" - she didn't used to be a control freak, and I didn't used to be so disorganized and overwhelmed by simply trying to live life on life's terms, so it has worked out quite well) have been working on this since May.   

Fortunately, Dad was discharged from the hospital today.   It always makes for a better party when all the guests of honor can attend. And if Sum Yung Sun's temperature will continue to head south, we will make a mad dash up there tomorrow. Otherwise, we will be conspicuously absent.

Hey Kids! Help! In the late 70's one of the first major satellites finally fell from orbit. Don't remember it was USA or USSR. For months before the predicted fall, there were news stories and worries that it would fall over a populated area, not burn up, and flatten some one. What was the name?   

How nice! A decade post (unless some one else is up and has beat me to it.).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 02:33 AM

Liquid Valium, so that's what it was!

As Dani and the nurse poured me into the car after my 'introduction to age 50', I slurred "Gee, I haven't like this since I was in...in..."

"College," finished the nurse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 09:11 AM

It could have been the US Spacelab -- that went down off Australia with parts falling in the Outback; I don't remember the date. There was also a Soviet satellite that crashed over Canada, spreading radiation and junk over a pretty wide area (it was nuclear powered).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 09:19 AM

he one with all the press was SpaceLab, just as the Master of All Printed Things say.

Good luck on the reunion!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 09:50 AM

There was also Mir, but that was later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 10:02 AM

And the fallout from that was a Mir trifle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 10:35 AM

Correction...it was not SpaceLab, but SkyLab, which re-entered over W. Australia in 1979.

"Skylab was left in a parking orbit expected to last at least eight years. The Space Shuttle was planned to dock with and elevate Skylab to a higher safe altitude in 1979; however, the shuttles were not able to launch until 1981. A planned unmanned satellite called the Teleoperator was to be launched to save Skylab, but funding never materialized. Skylab was in need of a major overhaul, including new gyroscopes, and was low on fuel. Some systems were not designed for maintenance in space; however this type of problem had been overcome before such as when the primary coolant loop was repaired.


Vanguard (T-AGM-19) seen here as a NASA Skylab tracking ship. Note the SatCom tracking radar and telemetry antennas.
Increased solar activity, heating the outer layers of the Earth's atmosphere and thereby increasing drag on Skylab, led to an early reentry at approximately 16:37 UTC 11 July 1979. In the weeks leading up to the reentry, ground controllers had re-established contact with the six year old vehicle, and were able to adjust its attitude for optimal reentry dynamics. Earth reentry footprint was a narrow band (approx. 4° wide) beginning at about 48° S 87° E and ending at about 12° S 144° E, an area covering portions of the Indian Ocean and Western Australia. Debris was found between Esperance, Western Australia, and Rawlinna, Western Australia, 31?34°S, 122?126°E. An Australian municipality, the Shire of Esperance, fined the United States $400 for littering.[2] In 2004, the History Channel documentary "History Rocks" stated, in an episode covering major events of 1979, that this fine has never been paid.

The largest fragment of Skylab recovered after its reentry though Earth's atmosphere. It is on display at the United States Space & Rocket Center.

Skylab's demise was an international media event, with merchandising, wagering on time and place of re-entry and nightly news reports. The San Francisco Examiner offered a $10,000 prize for the first piece of Skylab to be delivered to their offices. 17-year-old Stan Thornton scooped a few pieces of Skylab off the roof of his home in Esperance, Western Australia and caught the first flight to San Francisco, where he collected his prize. In a coincidence for the organizers, the annual Miss Universe pageant was scheduled to be held a few days later, on 20 July 1979 in nearby Perth, Western Australia. A large piece of Skylab debris was displayed on the stage.[3]"

(Wikipedia).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 10:38 AM

Cosmos 954. Skylab was big, but so was Cosmos. And who knew (but who is suprised?) that a place called Space.com has a page about "Dangerous space reentries of spacecraft."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 11:00 AM

Hey, MOM, I forgot to tell you about my exciting drive to the office yesterday evening. I counted myself fortunate to not be slowed too much by a traffic accident in the middle of a large split in the highway (I usually stay on the eastern route, but two lanes turn north and circle the city). I was able to maneuver past the wreck, thinking I was still in plenty of time for the meeting I was to photograph. Flying down the highway, more or less around the speed limit, and I notice what look like a couple of lightweight large sheets of plastic, or maybe plywood, float up and off of the pickup two vehicles in front of me, and in the next lane over. Truck in front of me just missed the impact and I had to slam on the brakes and weave past the double-size mattress and it's accompanying box springs that had not been tied down. Jeez, Louise, but some folks are so stupid. The pickup they floated out of pulled over a hundred yards on, but there is no way you're going to get things that bulky quickly out of the middle of a six lane highway.

I drove very sedately the rest of the way. I'd had enough of the obstacle course for the evening. The bagpipes were great (it was our holiday meeting of the Friends of the Library).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 01:10 PM

Gawd, Still, I am glad your reflexes are in order. How dumb can you be not to account for lift in planning a move? Sheeshe!!!

At Twenty, nine, and seventy-nine,
We have so few to write,
Before the Mother's Twenty One
Comes booming to the light.
It won't be long, but it will be fun,
That much I surely know,
To reach that THousands Twenty-One,
And we don't have far to go.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 02:50 PM

Some friends and I went to pick up a chest of drawers. We got the drawers in the car, and put the chest (about 5 feet high) on the roof and tied it all down. We put the bottom of the chest to the front and the openings for drawers down on the blanket on the roof of the car.

Dang, but we couldn't get over 50 mph! And we could almost see the gas gauge needle dropping and couldn't figure out what was wrong with car.

When you're 19 you don't figure in wind resistance and drag....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 04:37 PM

Hell no. When you're nineteen your attention is almost wholly engrossed in overcoming other kinds of resistance altogether.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 06:24 PM

Ours involved girls and bottlecaps, with the police in third place.

What was yours?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 08:31 PM

"S about right on. Plus occasional forays into overcoming free-market resistance in specialized commodities.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 10:26 PM

We also prayed a lot, spending much time in church.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 12:16 AM

Uh-huuuuh!! That's gotta be true. He tole his mom and dad that at least six times.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 08:50 AM

...Sometimes the criminal had to get to the church itself to be protected, and might have to ring a certain bell there, or hold a certain ring or door-knocker, or sit on a certain chair ("frith-stool"), and some of these items survive at various churches. In other places, there was an area around the church or abbey, sometimes extending as much as a mile and a half, and there would be stone "sanctuary crosses" marking the boundary of the area; some of those still exist as well. Thus it could become a race between the felon and medieval law officers to the nearest sanctuary boundary, and could make the serving of justice a difficult proposition.

Church sanctuaries were regulated by common law. An asylum seeker was to confess his sins, surrender his weapons, and be placed under the supervision of the head of the church or abbey where he had fled. He then had forty days to make one of two choices: surrender to secular authorities and stand trial for the crimes against him, or confess his guilt and be sent into exile (abjure the realm), by the shortest route and never return without the king's permission. Anyone who did come back could be executed by the law and/or excommunicated by the Church....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 10:53 AM

Oh, he was talking about spending forty days at a whack. Well that makes sense.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:13 AM

Winter arrived overnight. It's a rainy 40 degrees out there now; it was 65 yesterday morning. I don't think the back yard will get mowed again this year. Missing that last mow was worth it, though. Her grandmother and uncle are in town visiting her Dad and brother. We all piled in the pick'em up truck and went up to Denton to have a leisurely lunch with Moonglow and her boyfriend before they both had to go to work, then until next weekend they will cram study as much as possible. Final exams are this week.

MOM, I'm baking cookies this weekend. I'll bring you a tray of cookies when I have a few types to choose from. Have a seat by the window and stay warm. You might see a few folks running through the yard--pay them no mind. They're stalking that next big number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 12:48 PM

The woods were still, and darkly deep,
And a wintry sun did shine,
Among the ancient oaks did creep
A band of single mind
Armed and intent, hearing each twig
And whisper through the oaks
Seeking the fabled Number Big,
Those stealthy stalking folk.

THey tiptoed past the sleeping vines
And started with each sound
Rapaire was tense, his rifle high,
While mine was pointing down.
We padded through the unmarked paths
In the whispering ancient pine.
Rapaire heard a snap, and fired fast
But it was only 8-8-9.

That number fled, and on we trod,
Pausing in silent awe;
Wearing our bright reflective vests,
Required by the law.
Our guns were oiled, our minds were sharp
And we followed the woodsman's way.
We were full intent on larger game,
The Twenty-One of K.

...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 09:34 PM

And as we stood beneath a tree,
Lost in a pensive ponder,
A crashing boom from over the hill
Made us jump and stare with wonder.
We could hear the brush being trod down
And we hardly dared to gape
For something big was crashing off
And making its escape.
We flipped our safetys and scrambled the ridge,
Heading to toward the vale away,
We could almost smell that giant beast,
The Twenty One of K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 10:06 PM

I've told you and told you, Amos. Don't run with your rifle's safety off! I know you're getting older but you'll just have to remember to click the safety OFF before you shoot! If you keep it up I'll tell Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:29 PM

Thanks, Robert Frost! It smells like a snowy evening even if it isn't actually snowing.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:30 PM

Barbara Frietchie

UP from the meadows rich with corn,   
Clear in the cool September morn,   
   
The clustered spires of Frederick stand   
Green-walled by the hills of Maryland.   
   
Round about them orchards sweep,         
Apple and peach tree fruited deep,   
   
Fair as a garden of the Lord   
To the eyes of the famished rebel horde,   

to be continued . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM

On that pleasant morn of the early fall   
When Lee marched over the mountain wall,?   
   
Over the mountains winding down,   
Horse and foot, into Frederick town.   
   
Forty flags with their silver stars,   
Forty flags with their crimson bars,   
   
Flapped in the morning wind: the sun   
Of noon looked down, and saw not one.   
   
Up rose old Barbara Frietchie then,   
Bowed with her fourscore years and ten;   


(more to come)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM

Bravest of all in Frederick town,   
She took up the flag the men hauled down;   
   
In her attic-window the staff she set,   
To show that one heart was loyal yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM

Up the street came the rebel tread,   
Stonewall Jackson riding ahead.   
   
Under his slouched hat left and right   
He glanced: the old flag met his sight.   
   
"Halt!"?the dust-brown ranks stood fast,   
"Fire!"?out blazed the rifle-blast.   
   
It shivered the window, pane and sash;   
It rent the banner with seam and gash.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

Quick, as it fell, from the broken staff   
Dame Barbara snatched the silken scarf;   
   
She leaned far out on the window-sill,   
And shook it forth with a royal will.   
   
"Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,   
But spare your country's flag," she said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

A shade of sadness, a blush of shame,   
Over the face of the leader came;   
   
The nobler nature within him stirred   
To life at that woman's deed and word:   
   
"Who touches a hair of yon gray head   
Dies like a dog! March on!" he said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

All day long through Frederick street   
Sounded the tread of marching feet:   
   
All day long that free flag tost   
Over the heads of the rebel host.   
   
Ever its torn folds rose and fell   
On the loyal winds that loved it well;   
   
And through the hill-gaps sunset light   
Shone over it with a warm good-night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

Barbara Frietchie's work is o'er,   
And the Rebel rides on his raids no more.   
   
Honor to her! and let a tear   
Fall, for her sake, on Stonewall's bier.   
   
Over Barbara Frietchie's grave,   
Flag of Freedom and Union, wave!   
   
Peace and order and beauty draw   
Round thy symbol of light and law;   
   
And ever the stars above look down   
On thy stars below in Frederick town!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:34 PM

Okay! Now you've had your bedtime poem, tomorrow is a school day, so go to bed!

21001


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 12:05 AM

But I like the one about the young fellow from Kent! Or the one about the two old sisters of Birmingham!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 09:11 AM

Good Morning, Mom! Isn't the sunrise lovely? Here's a cuppa Yorkshire Gold and your morning Panama Gold. The scones will be ready shortly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 09:51 AM

What, no thick-sliced hickory smoked bacon?


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