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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 22 Mar 10 - 11:06 PM
Eiseley 22 Mar 10 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 10:12 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 10:08 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 08:58 PM
Eiseley 22 Mar 10 - 08:19 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 07:49 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 05:56 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 03:35 PM
gnu 22 Mar 10 - 03:04 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 02:57 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM
Acme 22 Mar 10 - 02:34 PM
Little Hawk 22 Mar 10 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 01:53 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 01:45 PM
Acme 22 Mar 10 - 01:33 PM
Little Hawk 22 Mar 10 - 12:28 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 12:14 PM
Amos 22 Mar 10 - 09:53 AM
Eiseley 22 Mar 10 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 08:58 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 08:47 AM
Eiseley 22 Mar 10 - 07:44 AM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 11:56 PM
Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 11:12 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 08:46 PM
Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 07:12 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 06:53 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 06:36 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 06:25 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 06:03 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 06:02 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 05:47 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 02:52 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 01:43 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 12:48 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 11:45 AM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 01:18 AM
Rapparee 20 Mar 10 - 09:12 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 11:06 PM

Are you guys mixing Mary Anne Evans up with Aurore Dudevant? Again?

Geez, Louise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 10:27 PM

Is this the one you mean?


When you see the Southern Cross
For the first time
You understand now
Why you came this way
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from
Is so small.
But it's as big as the promise
The promise of a comin' day.
So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She might be all that I have left
And music is her name.

Crosby, Stills and Nash have some fine songs, but the lyrics really need the melody to carry them along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 10:12 PM

Gracious, Amos. You don't seem to know your George from your T.S. Eliot.

They were quite different in many ways, you know. For one thing, Eliot, T.S. was born in St. Louis and Eliot, George was born in England. There are other, slightly minor, differences as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 10:08 PM

I think that was the Southern Cross, Eiseley--the one called Jowadzhe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 08:58 PM

I say to you of Apple, and to you of Microsoft, and to you of Intel and to all of you of Silicon Valley, NO! A thousand times no! You will not crucify this nation upon a Cross of Sand, By George!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 08:19 PM

I think the George Cross is a nautical medal. Wasn't it awarded to Silas, the ancient Marner?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 07:49 PM

Is he one of them G-uber peas?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 07:02 PM

I think that was a military pun, or isn't that what the George Cross is used for?

I think a G-uber is meet.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 05:56 PM

He is not an Ubermensch. Perhaps a Mittlemensch or even a Middlemarch, but you'd have to check with George on that or she'll be Cross.





(Hyuck, hyuck, I jist worked in one of them there litterairy puns, hyuck.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 03:35 PM

There's no question, Hawkster, that you are SOME kind of uber, certainly. Possibly a "G" type.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 03:04 PM

Nano Nano from Urk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 02:57 PM

Actually, Still, having taken your Sage advice and reviewed the early Shatner fight scene, I wish to amend my observance from milliseconds to picoseconds.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM

Well, see, there's a difference in gravitational force, atmospheric density, and ultraviolet intensity. Plus, who are we to judge Lizard Men whose strength so far exceeds out own?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 02:34 PM

If you want to pause for a moment of silence, do it after viewing that YouTube clip. Use that moment to wonder how they every thought anyone would believe that choreographed event was a "fight."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 02:05 PM

I was being uber-kind by giving Rapaire the thrill of his life and letting him be the one to announce it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 01:53 PM

LH didn't even know it was Bill's B-day until I started a thread about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 01:45 PM

As with all occasions where we must remember the almost great, the heroes manqués, the losers who could have been contenders, I intend to observe a full sixty milliseconds of silence in their honor.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 01:33 PM

They're going to reenact the worst Star Trek fight ever. Bar none. The Friends of the Fuller's Earth Society were not amused at the use of their product in this episode (they winced for much of the production of the entire series, actually).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 12:28 PM

Amos? It's Shatner's birthday today! What are you going to do to mark the festive occasion?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 12:14 PM

What's this, Amos? English ain't enough fer ya, huh? Well, all I gotta say is braccae tuae aperiuntur et in dentibus acticis frustrum magnum spinaciae habes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 09:53 AM

Bravo, all of yez. Quelle Drame Enorme!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 09:06 AM

Poor, fingerless Captain of the Guards!
Here's another photo of the event. I believe Pat took this one:
Rapaire really isn't dressed correctly for the weather.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 08:58 AM

And what REALLY happened was that Eiseley snuck up to the door and left a basket there with a baby in it and note saying, "I found this kid, please give he, she, or it a home." I had seen her coming, but had not managed to raise the drawbridge in time and the portcullis stuck. So I opened the door and invited her in (without the baby in the basket; I don't know what she did with that).

I took her into the Great Hall, where she was awed by the massive ceiling, the historic battle flags, the serving wenches, the trumpeters, and the rest of the things that make up my small, but comfortable, home. Seating myself upon my usual chair, my wife by my side, our guest groveled and crawled to the dais as protocol demands.

In our generosity we gave her some refreshment: half a dog biscuit and some water left over from the melted snow, served in a bowl on the floor. A good guest, she didn't spill much as she licked it up.

A good visit, she left gifts and when she left she crawled backwards out the door, her face always towards us as protocol demands. I suppose it's a bit difficult to crawl backwards down the Grand Stairs, but she managed it without harming herself too much.

The Majordomo showed her out and the Captain of the Guards slammed shut the gate, catching only the hem of her skirt and two fingers in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 08:47 AM

I rarely dust the inside of the front door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 07:44 AM

Thank you, Stilly.

With pounding heart and clammy hands, the emissary walked along the narrow piazza to the home of the renowned sword-master. She had parked up around the bend, in front of the home of another friend, to throw curious passers-by off the scent. As she strode, outwardly nonchalant, she wondered again if she was going round the twist herself.

In answer to her ring, the inner wooden door swung open, revealing in the doorway?NO ONE! With a breath of relief, the unwitting victim of dramatic irony felt a wave of familiarity and stepped inside. This was, after all, Rapaire's home. And he, master of the dramatic, was standing stone-faced between the open door and the wall. All awkwardness was gone.

Ever enigmatic, Rapaire spoke. "Cobwebs," he intoned. "Cobwebs are on this door." Feeling right at home, the gift-bearer tripped over to the table with a light heart and the Lovely Lady Pat relieved her of the smaller of her burdens: a plate of warm cookies.

Pat and Kat were soon joined by the erstwhile Ra, and after a discussion of Other Subjects, the newest member of MOAB waltzed into a long-winded, circuitous, foundation-laying explanation. She can't even remember the exact words (though they were all pronounced), but they included such things as Universe and Community and Horizon-L and Permission. Under Rapaire's mild and somewhat amused gaze, the words got smaller and fainter until Miz K. finally paused for breath.

"You're not telling me anything I didn't already know, EISELEY," Herr Direktor said. And the final shards of discomfort melted away. No wonder Rapaire had come up with that purloined rhyme for psychopath!

But he seemed pleased with the "I heart MOAB" cap, and Lovely Lady Pat seemed as distressed as Eiseley had been by the psychedelic model of a hippie dachshund Eiseley pulled from her bag.

So, after much more discussion, the spectacle of a lost golf ball, a bit of nose-blowing, some ammo show and tell (of course), a few tears, a couple of rapid MOAB posts, and friendship all around, Eiseley traipsed back up around the bend. She left knowing two things:

1. You can't pull one over on Rapaire, and
2. Where a door closes, a window opens.

Oh, and she has a cool new toy for her desk!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:56 PM

Here's your link:

http://www.marshallpl.org/

<a href="http://www.marshallpl.org/" target="_blank">Your wording here</a>


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:12 PM

Okay, Okay, but later on tonight. My youngest wants to use the computer. By the way, here is a photo I took today of Rapaire:
What a cat!

Oh, by the way, Stilly, how do you make the link open in a new window?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 10:55 PM

Aw, c'mon, we want the whole story. Sheesh!! Bleedin' autocratic bureaucrat!!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 10:36 PM

You can save a bundle and do your own sandblasting. I used to sandblast granite all the time -- it's easier than saying "quahog quarters converted convection". Put the item to be sandblasted in a convenient place, where the dust created won't get into the environment (a living room is perfect). Get yourself some fine, dry, sand (white is preferred, but not necessary). Into a soda straw suck some sand, and blow it at the item to be sandblasted just as hard as you can. Pinch down the end which is not in your mouth for a finer stream -- a "bendy straw" can get you into those hard-to-reach places.

WARNING: Do not keep the sandblaster on one place too long or you can sandblast right through the object. Also, don't inhale through the straw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM

By the way, here's a recent photo of Eiseley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM

S/he didn't. I'd very strong suspicions for a couple of weeks or more now, but for Certain Reasons couldn't voice them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 08:46 PM

Aw, come on.

What did you say when you dropped the dime on yourself? Inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 07:12 PM

I believe all of the words were pronounced. At least they were all vocalized, not mouthed, and none of them had to be written on a napkin because they were unpronounceable.

Eiseley.

I'm just so happy I can post with a clear conscience now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:53 PM

And the words that were pronounced were:


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:36 PM

Whew! Rapaire left the room for a minute. Hey MOM, he stole my rhyme. I was going to say something about Atta, Kath! (rhyming with psychopath) that my dad used to say. But he had "sussed me out" as Amos said, earlier. Now he's back. But I'm not scared. Happy Day! I can participate. Little Hawk, he has something for you that I think you'll like.
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM

Dippity to raw. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM

I now know who Eiseley is and can confirm that s/he has indeed read the ENTIRE MOAB corpus from beginning to end. He or she is now resting in a quiet place in the Deliriously Joyful Valley Home For the Terminally, pending transfer to the NYCFTTS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:25 PM

That's what I said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:03 PM

No dipshits....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:02 PM

Depends on the dip. Some are better than others. Make sure the dip you hire uses the proper dip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 05:47 PM

I had that thought also. Or dipping it, but I think dipping metal isn't so good for the metal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM

Put it in the back of your truck and take it to a man who has a small sandblaster. They usually run them inside a tent like a paint booth. For a small sum he will shot-blast or sand-blast or water-blast every iota of paint, rust and grime off the thing and you'll be ready to prime and paint it in a day instead of weeks of sanding.


Just a thought.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM

Amos... wow dude! That is, like, fuckin poetic man. Yeah, I see it too. I am close to being Caliverted, eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 02:52 PM

A sandblaster in the house doesn't sound any better than sand paper, Amos. What are you thinking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 01:43 PM

ISn't there someone near with a sandblaster? Oh, the agonies saved!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 12:48 PM

36o this morning, the snow overnight didn't stick. Good thing I didn't plant the garden yet. MOM was planning to sand a wrought iron bench we picked up at the dump last week, but it's too cold to go out and neither of us wants all of those old paint chips in the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:45 AM

It is a balmy Sunday morning here in SOuthern California; blue skies and the first rays of Spring waft through the neighborhood. The city is alive and reading up on the days events, while in its secret heart it rejoices that the chilly rains of winter are now behind us, and the Beautiful Days of Paradise --our normal fair--have returned unmarred. We celebrate that the Pacific Ocean has stayed in its place, and that we have not fallen into it lock and stock. We celebrate that we had no freezing, no snow, no bitter hail, in our hivernal transition. We rejoice that we are California, where lives go to be reborn, where laid back is a Senior Policy, and whence all consciousness comes from returns.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 01:18 AM

Brilliant, sir. You must be home where you can reach the Reference Room's Rhyming Dictionary....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:12 PM

Also

garden path
momey rath
insert[ed] [a] cath (short for "catheterization" or "catheter")
lovely Kath (short for "Kathleen," "Katherine," etc.)

e.g.,

Take the lovely Kath
Down the garden path
To insert a cath
In a momey rath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM

Well, I am sorry to hear it, Stilly. You know, you could possibly get yourself a transfer to UCSD... It would make your years much easier.


A


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