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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 07:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 08:05 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 09:01 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 09:47 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 08 - 12:12 AM
Acme 03 Mar 08 - 01:05 AM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 08 - 02:11 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 07:36 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 09:02 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 08 - 09:18 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 09:31 AM
Acme 03 Mar 08 - 10:15 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 10:20 AM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 08 - 11:06 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 12:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 08 - 03:14 PM
Acme 03 Mar 08 - 07:21 PM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 07:23 PM
Peace 03 Mar 08 - 07:24 PM
Peace 03 Mar 08 - 07:25 PM
Janie 03 Mar 08 - 09:19 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 08 - 09:29 PM
Janie 03 Mar 08 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 08 - 09:41 PM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 10:03 PM
Janie 03 Mar 08 - 10:06 PM
Acme 03 Mar 08 - 11:27 PM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 11:58 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 08 - 09:12 AM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 04 Mar 08 - 11:28 AM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 12:12 PM
Acme 04 Mar 08 - 12:47 PM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 01:06 PM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 01:09 PM
Peace 04 Mar 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 01:51 PM
Acme 04 Mar 08 - 01:58 PM
Little Hawk 04 Mar 08 - 02:03 PM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 02:15 PM
Little Hawk 04 Mar 08 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 08 - 04:10 PM
Little Hawk 04 Mar 08 - 06:23 PM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 06:51 PM
Amos 04 Mar 08 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 08 - 10:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:57 PM

"My emotional stability is without pareil in all the known world."

Really? My goodness!

I can only assume from that statement, my friend, that the world you are presently experiencing is a good deal smaller than my own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:05 PM

Vos es utriusque madide fossor. Matris mos non exsisto superbus vestrum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:36 PM

No, LH -- it is the same world. You just live in a smaller part of it than I do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM

You both live in the world I created for you. Get used to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:40 PM

Suck old rocks, Solipsist-Man. Your dreams are not the stuff of existence.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 09:01 PM

Watch it, or I won't think of you anymore and you'll disappear forever. Or...yes...I'll combine you with Little Hawk and move you both to Ft. Doggerell, quite a ways north of Whitehorse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 09:47 PM

I thumb my nose in the general direction of Doggerel. I mastered long ago zis Doggerel, as any reader of zis thread will confirm. No threat of DOggerel can move me one iota (which rhymes with quota).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 10:05 PM

No question about that. When it comes to doggerel, Amos, you have NO rivals!

I, however, am slightly better at codswallop and utter rubbish. At least, I think so....

I am giving it my best shot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:12 AM

How abysmally ignorant of Canadiana LH seems to be! Never to have heard of Ft. Doggerell, home of Victor Conibear, Marten Fisher, and of course, Skookum...well, I suppose he can still learn.... Of course, Amos lives in San Diego and that in itself is a built-in excuse for many, many things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:05 AM

The Land of Fruits and Nuts bears little in common with the rest of North America. That is true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 02:11 AM

Hey, man...I have seen Blind River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:36 AM

T'all are just a wee bit jealous, no? It is this winter thing, isn't. You are applying the old "Don't get SAD, get even" principle. You don't fool me for a minute.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:02 AM

I swear I am going to put ny thumbs on a diet.

T'all should be Y'all. ANd insert "it" after "isn't".

The humorist Bennett Cerf was sent to do ana rticle on Venice as a young reporter. He wired back to his editor, "Streets full of water. Please advise.".

Last night I sat up in bed and unexpectedly asked my wife -- who was immersed in her book -- whatever happened to Bob's Big Boy?

She told me my mind was like a garbage bag.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:18 AM

You mean these? In California you can find at least one in Baker, Barstow, Burbank, Calimesa, Colton, Diamond Bar, Glendale, Hesperia, Los Angeles, Santa Paula, Signal Hill and Torrance.

See? Ask, and someone will help you fill your craving for lousy food.

There are no Big Boys in Ft. Doggerell, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:31 AM

I am delighted to see it was just local economics that drove the Balboa Avenue branch out of business. I miss the ten-foot tall statue of the fat boy with the hamburger.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:15 AM

How come Hawaii has Bob's Big Boys and Texas doesn't? (I thought we did, at one time. Maybe Bob went on a diet.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:20 AM

Τον αφήστε που είναι χωρίς αμαρτία μεταξύ σας, πετά την πρώτη πέτρα.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 11:06 AM

Great, great. Now translate that into Swahili, and then back to English.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:00 PM

Why ever should I do such a thing?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 03:14 PM

Because your next-to-last post was in either Lemurian or Linear A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:21 PM

Maybe it was an utterance from the mouth of someone who had just eaten a Bob's Big Boy Burger. Gibberish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:23 PM

Funny -- it was Babelfish's version of the Greek alphabet. Hmmmm. I should probably include a font command if I am gonna pull that shit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:24 PM

OK. Listen up. I'm gonna say this once:


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:25 PM

Sodom and begorrah.

Stilly, you were right. There IS content on this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:19 PM

Please, please, please! a little respect and reverence for tradition and philanthropy here.

Alex Schoenbaum was the founder of Shoney's Big Boy, the 2nd franchise ever of Big Boy, and one of the few native West Virginians who not only made bunches of money,but also contributed some of that money for the public good of the people of West Virginia, even after he got the hell out of Dodge and moved to Sarasota, Florida.

Once a year, whether I am hungry or not, I order and eat a Big Boy platter complete with fries slathered in catsup, and coleslaw as a memorial act, not only to Mr. Schoenbaum, but to the memory of cruising through the Shoney's Big Boy Drive-in in St. Albans nearly every night one sweet summer in my boyfriend's perfect, completely stock, 1956 Bel Air.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:29 PM

I knew a guy had one of those cars.

He didn't set the brake and it rolled into the Mississippi. If you'd like it I can tell you right were it is (he's not in it). The car was only a year or so old at the time. Low mileage, too. The water's only about twenty or thirty feet deep and there's probably no more than the same depth of muddy bottom.

Amos δεν μπορούν να κάνουν την εργασία Babelfish επειδή παίρνει τη μεγάλη δυνατότητα να κάνει έτσι.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:36 PM

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance for ever and a day....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:41 PM

And everyone was singin'

Hey, hey, you're a dud
It's so neat to roll your car into the Mississippi's mud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:03 PM

LEt us hear from Rustic, I pray.

Rapaire what do you use to generate those damn fool characters δεν μπορούν να , etc., with upper ASCII codes in them?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:06 PM

Oh yeh, and that too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 11:27 PM

Of course there is content here! And contentment as well. :)

I'm on the phone to Earthlink. I've had a grindingly slow DSL connection for years (333k download/322 upload, about 1/5 of what I'm paying for). I seem to have snuck in for this service--the lines are so old SBC (now ATT) won't give the neighbors any DSL at all so they're stuck at 56K dialup. The Earthlink tech tested this line--he says it is running at 384. He's going to see if AT&T will fix it. If they do, all of us can get faster DSL.

A couple of weeks ago I set up the cable modem for the next door neighbor and even their slowest connection at 3M is awfully nice. I read the fine print at their web site and I could order cable Internet without their horrendous cable TV package but they charge $10 more than the special price if I do that. I can pay $5 a month and keep all of my earthlink email and between the two it still comes out $5 cheaper than my current slow connection. Decisions, decisions. I bet if Earthlink gets the phone in good order they'll offer a price break to keep me with them. That would be nice. I really hate the cable company, their customer service ranks lower than the IRS in their worst days.

I have satellite for the television and for the price I get about 250 channels and all of the Sirius radio compared to my ex on Charter who gets about 100 channels. Most of the channels are shit, but Charter offers a higher percentage of shit with it's channels than DishNetwork does. So I'd prefer to not pay the same for more shit. Know what I mean?

Of course MOM hasn't had this problem for years. Ever since that last filling was put in the lower right molar, she's gotten all of these channels 24/7. And people thought she was talking to herself. She was shouting at those stupid Ginsu knife commercials.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 11:58 PM

Well, the downlink is no problem, but getting those fillings to upload anything is a pure bear. She has to sit with her head in the oven and the radio tuned to WQXR and a hair-dryer running just to get the fields to resonate properly.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 09:12 AM

Well, Amos, you could do it to if you used a GOOD computer. But they don't make Gateways anymore.

Or you could do what I do: copy and paste the Babelfish translation without doing anything special to it other than c&p.

Of course, I use Windows XP both at home and at work....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 10:13 AM

Oh, thou worrisome madcap, stuff-gutted fool!! Loathsome fenestrating oaf, lackwit and clusterf*&*er, I did exactly the same thing. ANd I am using Windoes XP here, as well, with the same result.

So your snide superiority is based on unfounded claims,.

There is a technical reason you wot not of. I am sure you pay some one who could explain it, though.


Η πιθανή ασθένεια του εγκεφάλου μολύνει τα καθημερινά ξεσπάσματά σας.σας.


So there. I fixed it by inserting a SWAG font command.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:28 AM

That's another reason I use Wordperfect and not Word...more and better fonts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 12:12 PM

AH, there's the answer I was looking for.

Fie on you, Superior Being soi-disant. I claim 22390 in despite of all your rancorous, overblown pretensions of Magnitude!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 12:47 PM

Seems a waste of space to have started a new thread for insulting people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:06 PM

OK, then, if you're gonna be that way, Ms. Sage, I'll show ya....I hereby RETRACT EVERYONE OF MY INSULTS to all the people on this thread whomsoever they may be now, and replace them by implication with kind, admiring remarks of friendship. I further include ALL said insulting remarks by reference into the thread for insulting people.

Didja notice how Mom seems to have siddenly lost a lot of weight? Must be her diet, huh?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:09 PM

OK, that's done. D'ye think Mom wants to go jogging or somp'n?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:12 PM

Let all isulnts ceese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:51 PM

Let be so written, let it be so done, if you can understand whatt was written. Here claim I now 22395. Bwahaha. Know all men by these presents, etc., etc..


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:58 PM

You know what they say:

Dyslexics, Untie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 02:03 PM

May I say, Amos, that you are an extremely fine fellow, a man beyond reproach. Indeed, had I a son I would name him after you. That is how much I admire you. All the insulting things I have said about you on this thread shall now be disavowed, and I intend to hire a number of people to go through my posts here and transfer all the insulting ones over to the Insult Thread forthwith.

You are the best, Amos. I can't believe I said those awful things about you. What could I have been thinking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 02:15 PM

Hmm. An admirable undertaking, sir, and offering proof positive you must indeed be an upstanding man, and of considerable means. I assume they have a minimum wage law in Canada? If so, you are clearly projecting an outlay on the order of hundreds of thousands, just to clear the air and remove any pollution to our gallant thread. Why, I am astonished at the generosity and affluence of your gesture.

If you have an opportunity, I would appreciate seeing the paystubs or some similar form of accounting. Just for personal titillation, you understand. Admirable, just admirable...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:44 PM

Hmmm.

Yes, we have a problem here. As you say, a considerable clerical staff would be required to complete the job...I estimate no less than fifty persons who can touch type...for a period of up to 10 weeks!

Gad. I may be facing personal bankruptcy here.

Chongo has flat out refused to help me out on this. He says that he's not so stupid as to invest good money in trying to empty the ocean with a bucket.

Dang. I'm up the creek.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 04:10 PM

Bucket? More like a sieve.

I do NOT retract or otherwise deny or disaffirm anything I have posted herein.

Whatcha think of them apples, hmmmmmmmm?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 06:23 PM

That's not fair, Rapaire! I am facing financial ruin here over a matter of principle and you are denying reciprocity! Have you no shame? Have you no scruples? Does the Pope &^%@ in the woods?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 06:51 PM

There are numerous scatological categories that describe that characteristic handsomely, Rapaire; you will find them all over on the insults thread, where you should go at once to read them and experience profound mortification of the soul.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 07:40 PM

Hah!! Rapaire posted 400 and never even claimed it. So sloppy. Asleep at the wheel. Hiding his ass under a bushel, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 10:24 PM

Perhaps, dear friend, that Rapaire knew full well what he did and decided, in his modesty, not to make a fuss over it as some that he could mention would. That "perhaps" would be the truth.

As for the insults thread, you will find that I have posted there, mostly recently in rhyme. But then you have managed very well to dodge the arrows of logic and erudition, and wisdom has failed to penetrate your armor of lackwit.


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