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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 30 Dec 08 - 04:12 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 08 - 05:09 PM
Amos 30 Dec 08 - 05:13 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 08 - 05:17 PM
Amos 30 Dec 08 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 08 - 05:28 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 08 - 05:29 PM
Amos 30 Dec 08 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 08 - 06:26 PM
Amos 30 Dec 08 - 07:01 PM
MMario 30 Dec 08 - 08:41 PM
Amos 30 Dec 08 - 09:13 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 08 - 10:20 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 08 - 10:34 PM
Donuel 30 Dec 08 - 10:52 PM
Donuel 30 Dec 08 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 08 - 11:28 PM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 01:24 AM
Acme 31 Dec 08 - 01:49 AM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 08 - 02:14 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 08:13 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 09:50 AM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 10:40 AM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 08 - 12:08 PM
MMario 31 Dec 08 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 12:20 PM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 12:33 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 12:44 PM
Acme 31 Dec 08 - 12:57 PM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 08 - 01:00 PM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 01:07 PM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 01:24 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 02:15 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 02:19 PM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 03:10 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 03:36 PM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 03:48 PM
Amos 31 Dec 08 - 05:38 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 08 - 06:23 PM
Acme 31 Dec 08 - 11:33 PM
Amos 01 Jan 09 - 01:05 AM
Acme 01 Jan 09 - 02:46 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 09 - 09:34 AM
Acme 01 Jan 09 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 09 - 12:03 PM
Acme 01 Jan 09 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 09 - 12:38 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 09 - 12:38 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 09 - 12:39 PM
Amos 01 Jan 09 - 01:33 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 04:12 PM

*sigh* Scientists make things so complicated.

Wouldn't it be much simpler if they could just stop trying to model these things and teach Gluon how to use a digital camara to get some good photos, instead? Since gluon would be in each of the quarks of the hadron s/he could get a complete panoramic multi-view.

And I have to wonder about the political correctness of referring to the hadron as simple. Certainly, there is no denying that most hadrons are not intellectually gifted, and that some may even be intellectually challenged; but "simple" just will not do as a descriptive term.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 05:09 PM

Hamsters and hadrons...they both get no respect! "Simple" indeed! Humph!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 05:13 PM

Let's see...digital cameras respond tp photons...particles of no mass, but momentum. Hadrons have excited states known as resonances. Each ground-state hadron may have several excited states; hundreds of resonances have been observed in particle physics experiments. Resonances decay extremely quickly (within about 10−24 seconds) via the strong nuclear force. In other phases of matter the hadrons may disappear. For example, at very high temperature and high pressure, unless there are sufficiently many flavors of quarks, the theory of quantum chromodynamics (QCD) predicts that quarks and gluons will interact weakly and will no longer be confined within hadrons. This property, which is known as asymptotic freedom, has been experimentally confirmed at the energy scales between a GeV and a TeV.[2]

Do you think, given this, that a digital camera would slow Gluon down below the threshold of interoperability with hadrons?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 05:17 PM

How do you know when a hadron's been had?

How can you tell when a gluon has become unglued?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 05:20 PM

ANy guru knows, it's all in the energy, Little Hawk.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 05:28 PM

I have several excited states. Am I a hadron?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 05:29 PM

(Please note how careful I am to spell "hadron" correctly. One little slip....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 05:56 PM

You are what you eat, Rapaire.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 06:26 PM

Which is why I'm not a vegetarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 07:01 PM

One of my favoriter sports at Mom's place is randomly hitting one of those hundreds of blue numbers up at the top. Random poke, and see whatchoo get.

Here's the latest dredge and trawl from the mystics depths of Mom's Past:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos - PM
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 09:56 AM

Shatnerisation is a condition achieved by any set of a finite number of units whose transactions consist of BS. The complexity rules apply: when the number of BS transactions achieves a certain density a new order of BS emerges such that William Shatner seems to make sense.

This condition also -- but rarely -- occurs within the individual cognitive system, and when it does the individual so affected becomes delusory about positive qualities he perceives to be emanating from said Shatner. While this has no bearing on reality, it can accelerate Shatnerization in a group into which the affected individual injects transactions having an inordinate aberrative vector. This accelerates the normal process, and Shatnerization when catalyzed by such an element, tends toward the catastrophic.

A


Top that!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 08:41 PM



Well - we all KNOW that Gluon is not confined within the hadrons; so I suspect that yes, s/he could use a digital camara.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 09:13 PM

In another "random poke" I found a map with a picture of Stilly's house marked "No Car In Driveway" when there was plainly a car in the driveway. One of the many miracle mysteries of Mom's Murky Meanderings. GoogleMaps is a number of years out of date. Before the new driveway, before the landscaping, before the new fence and gate, the RAV4, before the Prius, this was my house but it was so much older then--it's younger than that now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 10:20 PM

It's also inaccurate. If you'd like to see my house you have to look at 2240 South Fairway Drive, Pocatello, ID -- which puts it on the wrong side of the street and 41 numbers off. (If you do peek at it, take a look at the house to the right as well. It's in foreclosure again.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 10:34 PM

Your analysis of the process we term Shatnerization is brilliant, Amos. Simply brilliant!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 10:52 PM

bugger off you bastards bugger off!


I think you've all been drinking !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 10:57 PM

There will no experiments involving participle collisions because the Large Hardon Collider had a spill and no one is willing to clean it up until maybe sometime in August.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 08 - 11:28 PM

Gluon will do it.

If you knew Gluon
Like we know Gluon
Oh, oh, oh what a duckdog!
There's none so classy
Not even Lassie,
Oh, oh, what a duckdog!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 01:24 AM

Oh, BRAVO, Rapaire!! An original!!! Yayyyy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 01:49 AM

It wouldn't be a car, it would be a pickup truck. Evidently the overlay of the photos still works with the coordinates I gave you before. Last time I looked at my house in the map the truck was in the driveway.

I'm not a hadron and I have excited states also. I think we're talking parallel universe here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 02:14 AM

Ron tells me he's had half the women in town, but I've still only met one who claims she's had Ron.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 08:13 AM

Deer lard, Amos. Eddie Cantor is rolling over in his grave, and my reputation is being sullied by your lack of musical knowledge!

If you knew Susie, like I know Susie
Oh! Oh! Oh! What a girl
There's none so classy
As this fair lassie,
Oh! Oh! Holy Moses, what a chassis
We went riding, she didn't balk
Back from Yonkers
I'm the one that had to walk
If you knew Susie, Like I know Susie
Oh! Oh! What a girl!

If you knew Susie, like I know Susie
Oh! Oh! Oh! What a girl
She wears long tresses
And nice tight dresses
Oh! Oh! What a future she possesses
Out in public
How she can yawn
In a parlour, you would think the war was on
If you knew Susie, like I know Susie
Oh! Oh! What a girl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 09:50 AM

I weep for Amos' lack of knowledge. It's not like we didn't all sing that and other songs on those Sunday rides in the country, Mom driving and the rest of us sitting and singing in the back of the buggy as the old horse ambled along those shaded country lanes of so, so long ago.

Ah, the memories of songs like Purple People Eater, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, Red River Valley, Sweet Violets, She Was Only A Electrician's Daughter, Oh You Beautiful Doll, America The Beautiful, The Union Maid, Columbia The Gem Of The Ocean, Oh Canada, She Was Poor But She Was Honest, I'm A Little Pee Pot, Itsy-bitsy Spider, The International, Viva La Quinze Brigada, Over There, Lili Marlene, I Want To Hold Your [fill in the blank], With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm, Ach Du Lieber Augustine, Sailing Down The River, Over The Waves, Little White Duck, She'll Be Comin' Around The Mountain and the rest. Mom would have liked it if we'd all sang the same song at the same time and if we had known all the words and didn't make them up as we went, but she felt it was better than fighting.

Which reminds me of the time LH dumped the contents of the "Little Potty" on Amos which caused Amos to...but ah, the memories, the memories.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 10:40 AM

I weep for Rapaire's insensitivity to ironic remarks lifting verses from the long-dead, much-honored.

He names a handful of songs he asserts he knows well, and equally groundlessly asserts I do not? I need only offer in rebuttal that he is a trumpet player, while I am a folksinger.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 12:08 PM

I weep for both of you. (wry grin) You fail to fully grasp the ineffable magnificence of William Shatner and/or the timeless allure of Winona Ryder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 12:18 PM

I weep for the ilk; the freshwater fur-whales and dolphins; the penguins and manatees suborned into supporting the Dutch World Domination play. I weep for whirled peas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 12:20 PM

I just had a call from a friend who thinks he has a kidney stone. He has pearled wees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 12:33 PM

"...His unwavering contentment and self-confidence are excessive, like a phrase underlined in red. They may appear to be spontaneous, almost involuntary, but they're not: he has to make a constant effort (diluted only by habit) and, of course, he is always playing a part. His crazed (because permanent) smile, his jokes, his clowning, the way he embraces people and slaps them on the back, his forwardness, his hyperactivity?as trivial as it is superfluous?are all pure acts of will. It's as if, at every moment, he were saying (to his political colleagues, to the cameras, to the photographers, to the viewers, and above all to himself): "See how at ease I am, how well I handle myself, how I intrigue, how easily I fit into this world of global decision-making." The man himself doesn't quite believe it, in fact he doesn't believe it at all, which is why he has to make it absolutely clear that he is completely in his element."


From "Interpreters of Lives", Javier Marias, Threepenny Review


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 12:44 PM

Well, that can't be about me -- my life is more like a sentence highlighted with permanent black marker.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 12:57 PM

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly - PM
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:01 PM

I think that "ammonite" is what they make ammo out of. Or, it is that of which they make ammo. Or, ammo is made of "ammonite" (parenthesis optional).

Crayfish are in the creek in your back yard and if you want to fix them in a gumbo then, yes, you can mail some to me. Crayfish also worship Chemosh (this isn't well known, but I have it on good authority. I made it up).

Ammo is better for warship than for worship. That's just my observation. Your opinion may vary.


From page 192 of MOAB. A flashback for Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 01:00 PM

That's a really interesting excerpt, Amos. Who does it refer to? Tony Blair came to mind when I read it, but that was only a wild guess on my part.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 01:07 PM

Well, it was written about Silvio Berluscone in 2002, I believe.

Here's another snippet from another issue of the Threepenny Review, a very good literary magazine:

"According to Chateaubriand, on the shores of Amazonian rivers one could still hear the words of disappeared languages because the parrots repeated them?for parrots, of course, can live to be a hundred. "


Plucked from the middle of an interesting dissertation on the fate of the Basque language by one who was raised in it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 01:24 PM

"I light my first cigarette of the day and turn away from the window with a shudder," wrote Raymond Carver. "The foghorn sounds again, filling me with apprehension, and then, then stupendous grief." And the Chinese poet Li Po, perhaps feeling some similar apprehension many centuries earlier, wrote:


"With my whiskers grown long I have entered Ch'iu-pu,
In one morning gusts of wind have made them decay.
The calls of the gibbons make my hairs turn grey,
Now they flow round my head as so many strands of silk."


From the liner notes to Maritime Rites by Alvin Curran.

The liner notes then invoke the moral: Use everything.

Even MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 02:15 PM

And now, from page 300:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos - PM
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 09:36 AM

Well they busted up the dining room, to make that boiler burn,
They threw in passengers walking sticks, and Grandma's funeral urn,
They tore up every book on board, not just the ones wuz banned,
To make the boiler hotter still, and reach the ole Twelve Grand.

It was straining everybody's brain, and everybody's heart,
And the passengers cried out in fear, "Oh, why'd we ever start?"
They could not face the haunted looks, on the old an' tired hands,
Who staggered on into the night, all bound to make Twelve Grand.

They threw in everything they had! Ole poems from other folks!
Translations out of Babel Fish, and Donnie Osbourne jokes!
They threw in the Old Testament, and the Brotherhood of Man;
They swore they'd burn the train itself, if they could make Twelve Grand.

And when the morning sun came up, bright in the azure sky,
Where cows and chickens all lay flat,
From the wind of her passing by,
There's a smudge of smoke, out over the hill,
Yon toward the Promised Land.
And the MOAB crew take their rest at last,
For they got her past Twelve Grand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 02:19 PM

And now, from page 518, an elegy from our own Bee-Dubya-Ell:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell - PM
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 12:23 PM

ODE TO FREDS (SNIFF, SNIFF, SUB, ZUB)

So time has come for us to bid
Farwell to our friends freds
Bubba Bubba's taken hostage
And Debbie Earl is deads

We won't be soon forgetting
The time they spent among us
Though Deb is now a fossil
And Bubba is a fungus

We hope they live in other states
Unknown to our World
Like sentient blobs of jelly
Bubba Bub' and Debbie Earl

Or they may be back tomorrow
Arisen from the dead
Cause dumber things have happened
Within this MOAB thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 03:10 PM

You left out the opening, on your Suzy recapitulation, Rapaire. It's a musical dialog between two hoofers in straw hats:

I've got a brand new gal, her name is Suzy!
(Suzy?? That's a name that doesn't interest me!)
Maybe her name
Sounds rather plain.
(Then what can her attraction be?????)


This is from memory as it played on a half-inch thick 78RPM disk on our old Victrola in Maine. Some of the records only had recording on one side, they were so old. We had The Two Black Crows, Jimmy Durante singing Bill Bailey, and an original recording of the horse race "...Aaaaand Beetlebaum...." shtick.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 03:36 PM

Ever listen to a wax cylinder recording? I have.

Heck, Amos. I remember the first recordings I ever listened to. They were my Grandmother's, and were in cuneiform on baked clay. We used to groove to such groups as "Xerxes And The Heart Rippers" and "Buddy" Darius doing songs like "Isis Ain't Your Earth Mom Any More" and "How Many Are Those Foreskins In The Window?".

As for 78 rpms -- I think I still have a couple.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 03:48 PM

I have yes. I remember those clay tablet hits. In one lifetime I actually made the Ptolemaic Top 100 with "Is ISis Is or Is Isis Ain't Your Baby?" but the master disk ended up being stored in an archive in Alexandria somewhere...




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 05:38 PM

Imagination finds a road to the realm of the gods,
and there man can glimpse that which is to be
after the soul's liberation from the world of substance.

                        Kahlil Gibran


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 06:23 PM

Oh. I guess that means we aren't so liberated right now, huh?

Coulda fooled me -- but then, I just got back from DC (a/k/a "Fantasyland-On-The-Potomac").


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 11:33 PM

Better there than that library in Alexandria. It's a few feet underwater and the books are a mess!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 01:05 AM

Yes--the disk was dunked along with he rest. Sic semper gloria mundis, and all that,   Happy 2009 to you all anyway.

A-while-tipsy-beyond-measure


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 02:46 AM

Not tipsy beyond measure--I can still run a spell check! :)

I brought the dogs in for an hour so they didn't have to bark at the nonsense going on in the neighborhood. Me, I was finishing up fishing a new phone wire through the wall from the attic and watching a favorite old black and white movie (Random Harvest--a classic chick flick!).

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 09:34 AM

Sorry, gang. I was in bed, asleep, by 8 p.m. I awoke at 6 a.m. (as usual), ran my five cross-country miles in 17.7 minutes, did 300 push-ups and 300 sit-ups in 29 minutes, swam a a couple of kilometers in the bracing waters of the Portneuf River, and am now ready to eat a healthy breakfast of pure cranberry juice, delicious steel-cut organic oatmeal without milk or anything else on it, two teaspoons of home-made nonfat yogurt (with active cultures), and a small piece of plain 19-grain toast.

After breakfast I think I'll chop and split a cord or two of firewood and by then it will be time for lunch -- pure water and a handful of organic, home-grown raisins should be plenty, followed by a ten-minute nap to refresh the ol' body.

Yessir, living here in Pocatello, Idaho certainly makes a guy or gal healthy and fit! Between the pure mountain air, the pure water, the pure food and the pure soil in which it's grown, why, there is no place on Earth that is so close to Heaven (or your religious equivalent thereof). Even politicians can live until they die here in this glorious place!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 11:57 AM

And did you know, he recently purchased and refurbished the Brooklyn Bridge?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 12:03 PM

MY strength is the strength of Ten because my heart is Pure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 12:23 PM

We're getting near another Big Number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 12:38 PM

26901, this post, is


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 12:38 PM

is NOT one of a Prime Number


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 12:39 PM

but this one, 26903, IS a proven Prime Number!!!

Yah for me!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 01:33 PM

I ponder which is harder to take: Little Hawk's obsessive prosopographia, or Rapaire's sui-prosopopoeia.

Well, there...I've given them all something to worry about and come back with a smarty response.


And a wunnerful year to all.

A


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