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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 27 Feb 09 - 10:12 AM
Amos 27 Feb 09 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 09:23 AM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 09:02 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 08:45 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 08:19 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 05:44 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 04:34 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 04:27 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM
Acme 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 02:18 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 01:38 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 10:39 AM
MMario 26 Feb 09 - 10:28 AM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 08:51 AM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM
Acme 25 Feb 09 - 08:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 09 - 08:01 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 09 - 06:06 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM
MMario 25 Feb 09 - 04:38 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 03:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 02:53 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 PM
MMario 25 Feb 09 - 01:49 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:48 AM
Acme 25 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:35 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:12 AM

Very nice, and accurate as well.

Mom is settled with a good book to read, a couple of spares if she finishes it, and she has a thermos of hot tea, Tupperware© containers with fresh blueberry muffins on the kitchen counter and slices of cheese and apple in the fridge. There is a package of fresh shaved rare roast beef, excellent mustard and fresh lettuce and sliced tomato, and a loaf of homemade bread (fresh this morning) to make a sandwich. There are Cokes and beer in the fridge.

The power should stay on even though the connections are out to the Internet, but she has batteries in her flashlight and transistor radio (she refuses to switch up to an mp3 player with a radio).

She'll be comfortable until the Mudcat comes back up, and the next door neighbor promised to take her out to dinner if it's still out by 7pm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:04 AM

Oh. nicely done. It gives me great pleasure to set aside my niggling suspicions and revel in the professed originality of your fluent lines. Such wit and insight has ne'er before been claimed or asserted in all of Mudcat land!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:39 AM

The old oaken bucket,
That iron-bound bucket
The old oaken bucket
That hung in the well.

The old open well stoup
And the old outhouse nigh it
That gave all the family
Cholera and hell.

(CHORUS)

Typhoid, dysentery,
Diarrhea, dental caries,
From the old oaken bucket
That hung in the well.


THERE! Are you satisfied now? I've done gone and rewrote your favorite song of all time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:23 AM

In absolute and complete Truth, Amos: you go right ahead. They are both original!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I've never read "The Old Oaken Bucket" all the way through; even in the fourth grade it was too sappy and saccharine for me. If there are ANY influences of TOOB in them it's very, very unconscious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:21 PM

Well, not at all, sir; I was going to comment on the vast improvement in your talent of late, but that's just because , aside from old Sam Woodworth's The Old Oaken Bucket, I still have to track down the original owners of those talents. I don't know why I bother trying to chastise your pilfering ways. You told us from the start you used an inveterate fence.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:34 PM

My song writing skills have left Amos and everyone else quite speechless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM

Sure it's the same old arthroscope
Me daddy brought from Ireland
He used it all the time o'er there
He made folks' lives full sore
He might have made them miserable
But he never was a bore.

At the bootheen in the early Spring
He'd pull the arthroscope out
And show the lads and lassies 'round
What they were all about
He's fix up many sorts of things
His arthroscope he'd flout.

But he did roam from his native home
In the year of ninety-eight
Forced out by the Black and Tans
And other stuff he'd drank
And over in Amerikay
He'd drink until he stank.

He pawned the old arthroscope
To pay for his rotgut booze
My mother got it out of pawn
By means both foul and fair
And now I have it at my house
It sits upon the lawn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 09:02 PM

It's a partial tear and the PT might get it corrected. If not...well, it's the ol' arthroscope.

Now that sounds like a folk song: The Old Arthroscope.

How well I remember the days of my youth
The house were my family did dwell
Logs made up the walls and mud was the floor
And the arthroscope hung by the well.

The old arthroscope my mother first used
When I was just a wee lad
It was rusty and rotten and old and it stank
But having it made my mom glad.

She would show us the riches inside of our bods
The organs, meniscii and all
Our pancreas, liver, vas deferens and such
As she worked on us out in the hall.

I remember my sister was silent and grave
Until mother had shown her the way
That her intestines converted her food into...stuff
And that made my sister quite gay.

But the old arthroscope is no longer extant
Since grandma thought it was a flute
She blew her brains out trying to play a fine tune
And we buried her 'longside her lute.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:45 PM

PErhaps you will end up Dublin your indemnity by blowing the candles out. Or Dublin your pleasure, but not your pain, I hope.

I always knew this was a mean joint. You can tell--it's all them folks on the lamb.

Anyway, not to put too fine a point on it, I am sorry for your pain--if you have torn the bugger it can be sewn up with microsurgery so the incision is vurry vurry tiny, but the recovery is still months of gradual exercise. Oy, such tsuris!! BBW has just completed recovering from it, and hers was a good eight months back.


Make other people do the reshelving for a while.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:19 PM

I shouldn't have been so mean and I apologize. Amos, you don't have to fleche yourself no matter how funny you'd look.

It's the pain in my shoulder. (True stuff:) I have a tear in the rotator cuff of my left shoulder and I had my first round of physical therapy just a couple hours ago. We're doing PT to see if surgery can be avoided.

This will NOT prevent me from going to Ireland next week, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 07:44 PM

Go fleche yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 05:44 PM

I don't WEAR breeches! Hahahahahaha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 05:27 PM

I see no advance in your attitude, sirrah. You are worthy of being simultaneously on-piste and piste-on, while I am roundly piste-off at your concatenated irascibilities and assaults. May your body-wire end up roundly entangled in your breeches and all your employees break ground in cadence at your advance.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 04:34 PM

Oh, piste off Amos. You obviously don't know your forte from your foible, or probably your pommel from your point. That's what happens when Socals thrust at their betters.

Kendall is our own Kendall as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 04:31 PM

One should be on guard against confusing foils with foibles, old fellow. But I applaud you for bringing Deckman into play, no matter how fancy the footwork needed to do it. He, at least, is consistently a gentleman of the finest school.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 04:27 PM

My forte is in excellence and creativity, whereas those are, for you, just foibles. I am on my guard to ensure a good lunge at such things as the interviews.

Yes, Stilly, that is our own Deckman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM

You are unnecessarily edgy, my young blade. Virtue comes from having a strong foundation. SOmetimes one must leave the fence behind and carve his own path.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM

Is Bob Nelson mudcat's own Deckman, from Everett?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 02:18 PM

Others will now get the point, because Amos took a stab at Peter Westbrook. (I can't wait to read his riposte!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 02:03 PM

"Peter Westbrook is an American sabre fencing champion.

Westbrook was born to an African-American father and a Japanese mother, who had met while his father was stationed at a military base in Japan.

Westbrook grew up in New Jersey, where he often fought at school until his mother put him in a fencing class. For college, he attended New York University on a full scholarship, and graduated in 1975. In 1973 he won the NCAA fencing championships in sabre. + He won gold medals at the Pan American Games in 1983 and 1995, silver medals in 1979 and 1987, and a bronze medal in 1975. He won a bronze medal at the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. He was a member of 5 other Olympic teams as well.

Since his retirement he founded the Peter Westbrook Foundation in New York City, which aims to guide inner-city youth away from gang violence through participation in fencing. "

For those of us who are not on the fence, so to speak.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 01:38 PM

Rapaire has just talked with Peter Westbrook.

Hahahahahaha! Mom is proud of me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:39 AM

Naw, Rapaire doesn't lie about serious stuff--just everything else. And his attitude problem means almost everything is on the "else" list.

Way to go, Book-Man!! Du bist eine mensch.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:28 AM

The problem is, it's hard to tell when you are talking some serious sh*t; or whether the sh*t you are talking is serious.

If you HAVE managed to line up that list of people for radio interviews - WOW! But if you haven't, well, I'm not going to embaress myself by enthusing over it when you could be pulling both legs and an arm. I figure Jacqui can take care of you in that case, for taking kendall's name in vain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM

Rendered speechless by my brilliance, huh? Don't worry, I'll still speak with all those little people. And I'll still be the kind, avuncular, humble person I have been.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:51 AM

Well, yes, it has Amos.

Really.

I'll tell the folks here first.

Our Library is doing a series of radio interviews with people of interest. They will be broadcast on our Library's radio show over KISU, our local NPR station and later posted to our Library website. KISU simulcasts over the web at www.kisu.org.

So far we have broadcast an interview with Dana Stabenow (whose latest book was published Feb. 17 and is on the NYT Best Seller list). We have "SURE!" responses from a bunch of people.

Dates have been set for recording Bob Nelson, JA Jance, Kendall Morse, and Bruce Murdoch. Others who have agreed to it are Peter Westbrook and some flash-in-the-pan dude named Tom Paxton. We're negotiating with Richie Havens and Ursula K. Le Guin. We've contacted Barbara Brackman.

There will be others.

If you don't know these people you should find out who they are.

One step at a time, slowly, slowly, The Revolution creeps forward. If you are not with us you are against us. If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem: Up Against The Wall!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:56 PM

Hey I sent the Real Inside Story on Bruce Murdoch's Revival and Official Comeback to personal connections at NPR's national desk. I guess they passed it on to the music editors, but not a note of response did I receive. I am most disappointed.

Maybe they are not the Liberals they pretend to be? Do you suppose NPR has been co-opted by... by... RAPAIRE???????


My God, what an awful thought.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM

You do it. We have about 40 people coming on Saturday and on Wednesday next we're off to Ireland (via Chicago).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:38 PM

I'm glad to see that all of you had the leisure to natter away over here on MOAB all day while some of us were away at work. But one of us now have a new toy tool. The laptop has been assigned, the docking station has been set up. I will enjoy exploring the possibilities. My old laptop, retired years a go, was light years behind this. And only about a dozen years separate them.

Is there anyone keeping track of other very long threads out there in cyberspace? If we send a note to NPR do you think Nina Totenberg or Michele Norris will interview any of us? Our luck they'd end up talking to Chongo or Shane, wouldn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:01 PM

Don't worry about not having a Strat, Rap. God likes trumpets. Also kazoos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM

I don't have a Stratocaster. Does that mean I can't jam with God?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 06:06 PM

I would like to interject the following:

If there is a God and s/he is all-everything, why must we worship?

The truly enlightened do not worship. They revel.

They do not bow before God as if God were some rock-n-roll guitar hero. They pick up their Stratocaster, jump up on stage, and jam with Him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM

Rapaire's question was not written in Base 2, it was written in Base frame of mind, as usual. And his question related to marriage was the one about people being mean to each other.

s it possible that Ranganathan's Colon Classification has been the only "pure" classification scheme ever developed, and why or why not?

Yes, because it reflects the hierarchical ordering nature of human minds, or not.

Harriet Avrams? Or Fred Kilgour?

Yes, indeed.

Did you know that from one on every other number is odd?


Relatively, yes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 04:38 PM

When the Rap asked:

If 1+1=2, why doesn't 2+2=3?

Amos answered....

Because 1+1=2.

However, I would like to interject that sometimes 1 + 1 = 11; both in the case of my parents marriage and in base 2.

Is there a numerical system where 2 + 2 could equal 3? I wonder.....It would probably have to be based on fractions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:52 PM

Did you know that from one on every other number is odd?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM

Harriet Avrams? Or Fred Kilgour?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM

Is it possible that Ranganathan's Colon Classification has been the only "pure" classification scheme ever developed, and why or why not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:30 PM

Ask away, good Horatio. I can probably come up with more answers than in all your library's philosophy! ;>)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM

Would you like to answer some more questions? I have lots of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:14 PM

These are excellent questions, and each of them has an excellent answer!

Why are people mean to each other?

Because each other are different.

Why is there hunger in a world of plenty?

To incite change.

How can we establish a true peace?

By introverting people with snide invalidations so they will look within, which is where true peace is found.

Why am I so darned good looking and no one else is?

BEcause you do not see them as you see yourself, and vice versa.

What came before the Big Bang?

The Big Bang minus 1.

Is the number just before infinity infinity minus 1, or something else?

Yes.

If 1+1=2, why doesn't 2+2=3?

Because 1+1=2.

If there is a God and s/he is all-everything, why must we worship?

No reason. In fact, it is not the case that we must worship.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:53 PM

Yes. Yes, indeed.

Why are people mean to each other?
Why is there hunger in a world of plenty?
How can we establish a true peace?
Why am I so darned good looking and no one else is?
What came before the Big Bang?
Is the number just before infinity infinity minus 1, or something else?
If 1+1=2, why doesn't 2+2=3?
If there is a God and s/he is all-everything, why must we worship?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:28 PM

This is you: !!!!

This is you, averaging. ---0---

Any questions?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 PM

Rather more exactly it would be 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097
4944592307816406286208998628034825342117067, or about 22/7ths.

Please try to be more exact in you averaging.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 01:49 PM

110! Why - we could probably manage that in an hour, with a little effort. Lessee, counting each of LH's various facets, except shatnerd that would probably only be less then 3.14159 posts each!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 12:36 PM

We are only 110 posts away from the 28K line. Twenty-eight thousand posts!!!!

Such sheer determination, and volume, is unknown in all of Mudcat history.

The men and women of the MOAB have given new meaning to the concept of BS artistry. They are BS heroes, one and all. They have proven to the world what a dedicated small group of people, fueled by One Good Idea, can do.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM

On the way into the Library, with the Friends membership drive table out front.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 10:40 AM

The recent chimpanzee attack in Stamford, Conn., was a tragedy for the woman who was horribly mauled. It was also a reminder that primates should not keep other primates as pets. The obvious reason is the danger involved. No matter how tame they may sometimes appear, chimpanzees are vastly stronger than most people realize. And no matter how socialized a chimpanzee seems, it is still in exile from its kind, its way of being.

The New York TImes has decreed: primates should not keep other primates as pets.

But I think this is one of those policies that sounds good on the surface, yet is fraught with unintended and distressing consequences.

Many marriages are put at risk thereby, not to mention videotape and DVD rentals of Planet of the Apes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:48 AM

Ah, Bee-Dub, that picture was taken last week. Just look at those gas lights! We are Thoroughly Modern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM

Great card catalog there, Rap.

Amazing how difficult it can be to misspell a post. That was a work of art.

My work will become easier today, because they're giving me a laptop for work. But that means one more thing I have to haul back and forth when I go over there. [sigh] Add this case to the camera bag and case for whatever paperwork I'm working on, and my regular shoulder pack (or pocketbook) and I look like a bag lady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM

Wow, Rapaire, you cut quite a dashing figure in your younger days!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:35 AM

Usually there are people of one sort or another in my office. Staff, mostly, but sometimes I have to talk to a sales rep or, less frequently now, execute someone. We used to draw and quarter them and put their heads up on spikes over the doors, but now we find it more efficient to simply shoot them in the back of head and impale the bodies (a la Vlad Tepes) along the walks to the building and along the edges of the parking lots. This has reduced overdues, fines are paid on time, and the theft of materials has gone way, way down. And we're saving lots of postage money since we no longer have to mail out overdue notices!


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