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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Feb 09 - 08:40 AM
MMario 11 Feb 09 - 08:27 AM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 09 - 04:00 AM
Rapparee 11 Feb 09 - 03:32 AM
Amos 11 Feb 09 - 03:11 AM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 09 - 01:47 AM
Janie 11 Feb 09 - 12:33 AM
Amos 11 Feb 09 - 12:26 AM
Amos 11 Feb 09 - 12:10 AM
Janie 10 Feb 09 - 11:57 PM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 06:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 06:49 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 06:36 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 06:35 PM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 06:13 PM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 06:09 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM
MMario 10 Feb 09 - 03:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 03:18 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 01:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 01:20 PM
MMario 10 Feb 09 - 01:12 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 01:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM
MMario 10 Feb 09 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 11:30 AM
Amos 10 Feb 09 - 11:13 AM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM
Amos 10 Feb 09 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 09:06 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 12:40 AM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 11:35 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 10:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM
GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.) 09 Feb 09 - 06:23 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 09 - 03:51 PM
Amos 09 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 09 - 12:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 11:07 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 08:40 AM

No, I was the Primodial Chaos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 08:27 AM

Rapaire has a birthday? I could have sworn he told us that he sprang fully grown out of the primodrdial chaos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 04:00 AM

Hell, the likelihood of that had already gone down to virtually nil regardless, so you don't scare me a bit. ;-)

I have glorious things planned for my next incarnation, though. Just wait and see...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 03:32 AM

He does now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 03:11 AM

YA know, Little Hawk, Mom says if you keep fronning about like that there, your face is going to freeze in that position and you will never get laid any more.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 01:47 AM

May I say in return, Amos, that I fron on not only your arrogations (of a great many things), but also your generally poor comportment and critical attitude. Can you see me fronning, Amos? I am fronning in your direction.

Fron! Fron! Fron!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 12:33 AM

T'wont hold my breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 12:26 AM

Mom says we all hafta be extra nice to Rapaire on account it is his burfday, and that he will return the favor some day.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 12:10 AM

There must be some way to make yer money stretch, but not bounce.

By the way, I severely fron on Little Hawk's arrogation of the terminology program, injecting the name of a half-forgotten second-rate rughead in place of the fine terms such as platons and solons we came up with. And excellence in NO dimension can be measured in Shatnerons. Shatneron is what you have been when someone leaves for the weekend four hours early leaving you to finish his work by staying four hours overtime. You've just been thoroughly shatneron. For an illustration see BWL's link up thread.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:57 PM

No, no, no! If you make dollars out of rubber then they are prone to bounce just like checks. (Even though that might happen, it will still never do. Ya' know?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 10:22 PM

There used to be a joke making the rounds about making wallets out of foreskins. . .

Good thing those paper materials were moved on the porch. We just had a humdinger of a thunderstorm roll through here. The tornado warning is on for another 30 minutes at least.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM

Well sir, the Library has its own, genuine, registered brand: M-P-L connected, with a rocker. We can brand horses and cattle on the left hip, sheep anywhere, and staff on the left hip and right shoulder. Course, the staff is gettin' plumb riled up over the ear notching and Gene's gettin' right testy over the cuttin', but he'll calm down after it's over.

So we kin run our own cattle and make wallets from the hides.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM

There you go, Rapaire! Opportunity's staring you in the face! Quit that wuss library job and go to work on a cattle ranch. Everybody's gonna need new wallets and growin' leather on the hoof is gonna be a mighty profitable business for the next few years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:51 PM

But then they wouldn't fit into my wallet -- not that I have any to put in there now....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:49 PM

I have solved the economic crisis!

People are always complaining that "Money's short. Money's short." Well, let's make the money taller! A US bill is 2.625 inches tall. If we were to make it an even 3.00 inches tall, that would be an increase of 14%!

And if we were to make the money out of rubber instead of paper, people could stretch it even further!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:43 PM

Only if it's capitalized. And only in 21 states, most of which are west of the Mississippi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:36 PM

Gee, I thought the colloquial term was "willies".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:35 PM

Yes, Bills is the informal or colloquial expression for those value units, while Shatnerons is the formal or scientific term for same. For instance, the 30 ft tall marble statue of William Shatner clad in a speedo that stands proudly on the front lawn of the WSSBA in Orillia, Ontario, is worth several thousand Bills. Or Shaterons. Whichever. One Bill is equivalent to exactly 0.97 Shatnerons, but people usually just assume that a Bill is the same value as a Shatneron.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:13 PM

Oops. I type slower than you do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:12 PM

27600

LH, you're making it too difficult. Instead of Shatnerons, why not simplify and use his first name. If it is of little value, it is a 1 Bill. More value a 10 Bill or a 100 Bill. A 1000 Bill would be very nice. I don't think the treasury would approve anything over that in size, though.

Funny, my spell-check doesn't like "Shatnerons."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:09 PM

I have watched poor Mom abandoned for four (4) hours now.

Here I am, Mom. It's okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM

It's the result of a crippling shortage of Shatnerons at MicroSloth, that's what it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:23 PM

Unless you have MicroSloth Internet Exposer - then you have to go into Tools; Options; INternet Connections; Privacy; Advanced; graphics; prefeerences; and change the
"DO NOT accept disgusting pictures of cow flops" from NO to YES.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:18 PM

The picture crashed your browser page? Simple to fix. Just go to your browser's "Preferences" page and change the "Accept Pictures of Disgusting Cow Turds?" button from "NO" to "YES".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:42 PM

Sabotage! I opened that link and it crashed the page.

You don't even rate 1 Shatneron, sir. You are a subversive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM

THIS is the only thing worthy of being measured in Shatnerons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:20 PM

Mario, you are looking through the wrong end of the telescope again. That's why everything looks so tiny! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:12 PM

LH! YOu're holding the chart updside down again.

10 Shatnerons is almost something, but little more then nothing.

50 shatnerons is almost nothing.

100 Shatnerons is barely existant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:04 PM

In order to compute where anything stands on the scale of excellence, one must calculate it's value in Shatnerons. 10 Shatnerons would be better than nothing, but not too impressive. When one reaches 50 Shatnerons, one is verging upon greatness. The few who are capable of reaching 100 Shatnerons are guaranteed to become legends in their own time. Bob Dylan, for example, reached 100 Shatnerons when he recorded the album "Bringing It All Back Home".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:59 PM

Looks like rain today, MOM. You might want to move your chair and wicker table further back from the edge of the porch or your newspaper and paperback mystery might get wet from the splash off of the rail.

Is Mom related to my wife? I'm perpetually rescuing her books, mail, cell phone and such from our porch just before the rains commence. I, on the other hand, never leave anything that could be damaged by rain in the porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM

No, I'm sure that by "throwing" she meant that Amos goes there at night and buries it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:02 PM

That's going a bit far, accusing Amos of throwing stuff into a construction site.

Amos doesn't litter! MOM taught him better then that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM

Which goes to prove that Amos is a closet Republican.

C'mon, Amos. 'fess up. It'll do your soul good to admit it. And you'll stop being under PTSD since the 1932 election.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM

Very true, evidence is turning up. But I think they may have been cast in plaster by Amos in his back yard, then chucked down in the construction hole at night when no one was looking.

He's funny that way. Probably doesn't even remember doing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:30 AM

Republicans have infested San Diego since the last Ice Age, at least. Evidence in form of tusks and skeletons is being found even as I write this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:13 AM

The art of presenting dudgeon as a form of apology, by the way, is a little-noted skill in public relations often used by Republicans. I remark on this simply in order to tag yet another piece of evidence in my growing file of evidence that Rapaire, under his mild-mannered bookish exterior, is a Republican at heart.

I expect as the evidence accumulates I shall be in a position to file charges sometime in the fourth quarter of the present year.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM

I found it, I hadn't dropped far enough down the screen to find Rap's quip.

Looks like rain today, MOM. You might want to move your chair and wicker table further back from the edge of the porch or your newspaper and paperback mystery might get wet from the splash off of the rail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:04 AM

(For those unfamiliar with Rapaire-speak, the above is the equivalent of a profuse apology.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 09:06 AM

To misattribute a quotation is An Offense; to attribute such a quotation to a lady is unconscionable. Sir, my friend Mr. Amos will call upon you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:40 AM

I apologize to Ms Sage. It was Mr. Rapaire who posted the offending comment.

But, see, it only goes to prove my point. I am an idiot!

And since I missed the opportunity to name the standard unit of idiocy after myself, I do now propose such a unit, to be called an "Idion". My little gaff of accusing Stilly of making Rapaire's offensive comment is worth about 20 Idions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:35 PM

By the way, in response to Ms Sage's comment, "And weren't you positing a 'dubyan' after yourself, really?"....

I didn't say that! I wouldn't even think that! Too many unfortunate souls with a "W" in their names would be forever shackled to the Bubba image Dubya cultivated were that kind of bias practiced once that putz left office.

I didn't see that in the other remarks either. Are you making any bongs along with your pots and plates and bowls and humidors? Maybe a little smoke got in your eyes when you were reading earlier?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM

Good of you to compliment Penelope Rutledge, Colonel West. Yes, she is indeed the epitome of elegance, and always has been so. Veronica is going through a difficult age now, testing her limits as it were, but I trust that in time she will rise to the challenge and meet the standards of excellence long associated with her family.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM

By the way, in response to Ms Sage's comment, "And weren't you positing a 'dubyan' after yourself, really?"....

No. A Dubyan is a unit of stupidity, not idiocy. I have never claimed to be stupid, only to be an idiot. I did not call the Dubyan a "unit of idiocy". Had I done so, you might make a case for my having named it after myself. But I didn't. If I had thought about it, I may have assigned some other name to the unit of stupidity, and reserved "Dubyan" for for some more noble cause. But it's too late now. The die has been cast by the fat lady who was singing as she floated on the water passing under the bridge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:32 PM

And not related. I'd always thought Grace was related to Jack (as in Bart Maverick) but it turns out that Jack was the brother of NANCY Kelly (aka the mom in The Bad Seed).

Keira is okay in some things (probably the ones I haven't seen, like Pirates of the Caribbean) but she was a LOUSY Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. Though she was closer to the right age than some actresses who have played the role, she just spent too much time grinning and trying to slide through the role that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM

This photograph is the epitome of elegance. Two, count them, two people with scores of 100 Astairions in the same photograph! And both of them named Kelly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.)
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:23 PM

Penelope Rutledge is the epitome of elegance; I hope very much that Veronica becomes so. It is unwelcome, at least to me, to see the Grand Old Families going the way so many of them are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:51 PM

Keira Knightly is the very epitome of elegance, Bee-Dub, and I highly recommend most of the movies she has appeared in. She reminds me a lot of Penelope Rutledge in her general appearance, but she's not quite as aggressively assertive as Penelope (though somewhat so on occasion), and she's a bit younger as well. You can't ask for a more elegant form of beauty than that of Keira Knightly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM

Well, in this case I was referring to the ass of which it was said "the law is one".

In this respect, although I am not an outlaw as far as I know, and if I recall correctly, in my humble opinion, I may be an off-law. It has already been established that I am an in-law, which is neither here nor there, on or off, six of one or half-a-dozen of the other. But I have always been slightly off on the law anyway so I may as well learn to live with it and be the best off-law I can be.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:44 PM

Please put it back on, Amos. You'd look strange without an ass. Unless, of course, you mean the kind you can ride and in that case you should say that you're on the floor because you laughed yourself off your ass. Now, the ass could say, "I'm rolling on the floor laughing my Amos off" but...never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:07 AM

The #1 Google Image Search result for "elegance" is a picture of actress Keira Knightley. I've heard her name, but don't watch enough movies to feel qualified to judge on her elegance level.

The #1 Google Image Search result for "inelegance" is this cartoon. I believe that's Michael Moore standing by the box.


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