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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 01:37 PM
MMario 31 Oct 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 01:06 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 12:19 PM
Acme 31 Oct 08 - 12:11 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 11:33 AM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 11:21 AM
Acme 31 Oct 08 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 09:29 AM
MMario 31 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 09:18 AM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 01:45 AM
catspaw49 31 Oct 08 - 01:00 AM
Acme 31 Oct 08 - 12:47 AM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 10:00 PM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 05:42 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 05:34 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 05:16 PM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 05:07 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 03:53 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 02:57 PM
Acme 30 Oct 08 - 02:54 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 02:36 PM
Acme 30 Oct 08 - 12:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 12:56 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 12:05 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 01:14 AM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:19 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:14 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:11 PM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 08 - 08:51 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 06:39 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM
MMario 29 Oct 08 - 12:47 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 12:31 PM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 08 - 12:29 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 10:47 AM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 09:05 AM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 01:34 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:37 PM

We didn't get the Walmart grant!

S**t.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:12 PM

and people think Nostredamus was good at prediction. HE couldn't hold a candle to D. Gottwinkle!

(18)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:06 PM

Dear Mom, we're only nineteen posts
From the 26 of K;
And as we near that mighty peak
Your kids would like to say
That it really has beeen great to grow
In a house that's such a mess
Where every room, and every hall
Is lined with pure BS.

Dear Mom, we've all learned many things
From this flood of clever talk,
The plagiarism of Rapaire
And the dreams of Little Hawk
We've learned the wit of BW_Ell,
Who keeps pots against his brain,
The mystic light of Rustic Reb,
And the song of Bunnhabain.

We heard the lonesome blues of Tweed
Spilling into an ocher sea;
And Stilly's bravest words and deeds,
And young Gluon's cosmic glee.
There have been more worlds uncovered here
Than all Horatio's tomes
With duck-dogs, freds, and Chinga Chimp
Enlivening our home.

So Mother, sure, there is no doubt
That we really need to say
Thanks for the ride, as we all head out
Toward the 26 of K.
It is to you we turn our eyes
When burdens grow too great,
And we will grow your BS still,
When the Kays reach twenty-eight.

Raise up your mugs, you MOABites,
ANd give a rousing "Yes!"
As we salute our sainted Mom,
The Mother of All BS.

Donnifrew Gottwinkle IV
The Child's Weekly Reader, December 13, 1893
Vol 7, issue xc


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:39 PM

A nation in love with rust!! How the mighty have fallen...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:19 PM

I have a set of mugs at work which I use. I buy coffee in the motel-type filter packs so I don't waste things, and for the cups and stuff that we might use for public events, etc. -- the city buys biodegradable cups and paper plates.

The police are even using biodegradable ammo in biodegradable guns, only shooting biodegradable people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:11 PM

I'm posting this on a couple of threads, and I know MOM would approve because she ALWAYS drinks her coffee and tea out of mugs, not paper cups: The Trust for Public Land will get up to $20,000 if you pledge to drink your brew in a mug. Of course they're hoping to sell java, but I unchecked the box about receiving further information.

http://www.goodearthcoffee.com/pledge.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:33 AM

I have received a FedEx letter from Chinga in Chicago stating that she is getting in touch with a good lawyer, and plans to sue CHongo for alienation of family affection, slander, defamation of character, and fiscal malfeasance with campaign funds. Seems a couple of her Milawukee johns told her about a huge party in the Chicago Playboy mansion they had been to, where CHongo footed a very large bill and a lot of grabass was going on. She wanted me to know in case I got subpoenaed. LG, I guess you should be similarly alerted, just in case you have to give a deposition.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:21 AM

I carved two pumpkins last night, the old fashioned way. They have great big eyes and scary gaping mouths, and chafing-dish candles inside, and they look brilliant in the dark.

I learned from a young friend (20-something) that these days what the young folks do is buy a kit, complete with tracing stencils for design and special little knives. A KIT!! For making Jack O'Lanterns??!!!! Here's my kit: one grease pencil or marker, one long kitchen knife, one small kitchen knife, one big spoon, one pumpkin, one candle.

STENCILS?? Draw your own magic, I sez. We don' need no steenkin' stencils.

Ptui!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:16 AM

I started working on a new spot of garden last weekend, but this afternoon I'll have to go tidy up lest one of the idiots parents of the trick-or-treaters decides to take a short-cut across the lawn and trip and fall. The kids usually seem better about staying on the path than the parents. I have to put the dogs in for the evening and turn off the side light to keep folks away from walking in that new flower bed (it will be lovely, daffodils, irises, and Janie's poppies).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:29 AM

Well, I was thinking of melting some caramels, impaling the road apples on a stick, and caramelizing them. I could sprinkle some sawdust or gravel on top as well to make it less appetizing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM

Rapaire - if you put the old dried up horse apples on a stick they would make good torches.

Of course some of the kids might think they were caramel apples....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:18 AM

THAT'S what I'll give the trick-or-treaters tonight! Dried up old road apples!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:45 AM

Still:

Similar, but different. An STD, once called "lues", a form of syphilis.

Spaw:

Welcome to MOAB, you dried up old road-apple.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:00 AM

So how goes it with Ol' Mom here? Y'all been doing a fine job carrying the old girl along with truth and loyalty and an unbelievable amount of unreal horsecrap and are to be congratulated.

I just spent awhile reading over the past months just for the hell of it as I am so damn bored with the Cafe at the moment I could scream. When Rap brought up his objections to all the political shinola it was just the same way I felt. Thanks Rap but now I fear it will go on for many more additional months ......................... ***sigh*** .........the old BS, she ain't what she used to be. I may have to go back to abusing Walksabout a while longer til this all passes.

But thanks for tonight's read! Here's to you all!!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:47 AM

Is that like the gypsy moth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 11:23 PM

Lues, sirrah? May the congenital treponema pallidum spirochete finally surface in every branch of your family tree.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 10:00 PM

If a soft answer did not turn away wrath, I might respond that Amos is a blabberlips, a buttercup changling wrought by the pixie dust of Southern California, clap't out from the lues of all the sordid taverns of the Pacific isles, his brainpan softened by the gentle taps of too many saps in too many Shanghai dives, but I shall answer softly and simply remonstrate gently with him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:42 PM

Pshaw--I was addressing the Books guy...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:34 PM

Oh....nice lot of epithets there, Amos! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:16 PM

Realist.

Look, Chongo knows it's all over but the shouting. He never realistically expected to win this election, he just wanted to open the door, give apes and monkeys an equal voice in the national dialogue, and get the process started. One day you will see his face on Mount Rushmore as one of the true founding fathers of this country...and one day you will see a chimp in the Oval Office...but it won't be in 2009.

I'm thinkin' maybe by 2044.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:14 PM

Evader!! Pneumatic-powered impact terpsichorean! NArcissistic minicephalic disingenuous circumloquacious meretricious rhetorician!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:07 PM

Naysayer! Defeatist!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:01 PM

Of course! What I meant is, he's not going to win the election.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM

"Man" is as much a primate as a Chimpanzee. Is Chongo not a "man" and a brother?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 03:53 PM

Ah. So that means you didn't vote for Chongo then. You miserable Quisling!

;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM

1. I kinda fibbed about the high school graduation date.

2. Amos, I voted for the man who will be the next President of the United States, including Idaho and San Diego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 02:57 PM

But, sir, did you vote for John McCain?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 02:54 PM

She has an MBA but graduated from high school last year? What kind of fast track is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 02:36 PM

Well, actually, Karen is a seasoned professional in broadcast journalism. She defeated the incumbent in the primary by capturing 57% of the vote and I really think she's going to win. She's a very capable woman and would be a good County Commissioner. If memory serves me aright she has an MBA.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:59 PM

She deals in bone density, no doubt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:56 PM

Well...experience counts for a lot, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:05 PM

I've voted, Mom. There were a lot of people there, too. I've also been flu shotted, blood tested, and my bone density (measured at my right ankle, not my head) is 114% when compared to a young adult.

Mom, I hope you don't mind that I voted a split ticket, but some of the other side who were running were a LOT better than the other. I mean let's face it, Mom, Karen is young and "hot" and so would make a good County Commissioner and here opponent is a sour-faced old guy. Oh, sure, the old guy had two PhDs and forty years experience in public service and Karen graduated from high school last year, but she IS experienced, if you get my drift Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM

There's always MIT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 01:14 AM

Belief is a funny thing--it lowers its standards on the slightest whim or suggestion something might be so.,


Just a whiff of evidence, a shallow coincidence of persuasions, and BAM!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:19 PM

Some of those sites are pretty bizarre. Very bizarre. Bizarre beyond belief.

Ouch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:14 PM

This one in particular should clarify things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:11 PM

Nipple tassle search on Google images.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 08:51 PM

Also, "the Breasts of Sheba"...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 06:39 PM

And let's not forget the Grand Tetons!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM

How big would a tassel of that scale have to bew--like an Amazon rain-forest size tassel? A Sahara-scale pastie? I dunno--American ingenuity can only go so far...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 05:27 PM

Under a pastie, of course. Not the pie type, the sticker type. And sometimes they have tassles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM

There's a place near here with the name "Mary's Nipple."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM

about it--the entire globe can be exposed and you can pretty much get away with it in many venues--as long as the - gasp! - nipple doesn't show. Meaning that while the entire breast may be what is called a "tit," it is still the nipple that is the most important (and importuned) portion of it.

Not to linger too long on one point, so to speak, but if the entire globe is exposed, but not the nipple...where IS the darned thing? Mount Everest, garbed in gauzy storm-clouds? The Delta, hidden under a hurricane? Perhaps the Seattle Needle, wrapped in a rainy fogbank? Enquiring Braille students want to know...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:47 PM

hence the more common meaning today of "major identifying marks/characteristics"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:31 PM

Nope. Earmarks are what get cut into the earflaps of hogs for identification purposes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:29 PM

Earmarks are what happens when you're a snooper who listens outside people's doors. Surely you are not accusing Rapaire of that? Don't forget, he is a candidate for Vice President of the USA...and such people are simply beyond criticism, don't you know? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 10:47 AM

Now I KNOW you're a Republican--disdain for beauty, cold indifference to life--all the earmarks!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 10:20 AM

The beach is pretty, and if you drive straight east over the mountains the desert is also pretty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 09:05 AM

Apart from my nephew graduating from the USMC and sponging off visiting Amos, is there any good reason to visit San Diego? I intend to spare the city and area when my plans to saw off the LA area and give it a shove towards Easter Island reach fruition, but that's because of the Zoo.

By the way, if you'd like to volunteer your time and chain saw....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 01:34 AM

Jeeze, Rapaire, if you were in town visiting this asshole you at least could have dropped my place, too!



A


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