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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 23 Feb 08 - 09:15 PM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 08 - 08:06 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 08 - 08:02 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 08 - 07:40 PM
Acme 23 Feb 08 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 08 - 07:14 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 05:30 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 05:21 PM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 04:59 PM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 04:50 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 08 - 03:32 PM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 03:25 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 08 - 03:02 PM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 01:52 PM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 01:37 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 01:29 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 01:28 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 01:28 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 01:27 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 01:27 PM
Janie 23 Feb 08 - 01:27 PM
Acme 23 Feb 08 - 01:14 PM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 01:07 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 08 - 12:36 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 08 - 11:57 AM
Acme 23 Feb 08 - 11:22 AM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 23 Feb 08 - 09:27 AM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 08:50 AM
Acme 23 Feb 08 - 01:29 AM
Amos 23 Feb 08 - 12:20 AM
Janie 22 Feb 08 - 07:16 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 08 - 06:56 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 08 - 06:52 PM
Amos 22 Feb 08 - 06:51 PM
Amos 22 Feb 08 - 06:50 PM
Janie 22 Feb 08 - 06:49 PM
Amos 22 Feb 08 - 06:45 PM
Little Hawk 22 Feb 08 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 08 - 06:26 PM
Acme 22 Feb 08 - 05:51 PM
Amos 22 Feb 08 - 05:24 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 08 - 04:38 PM
MMario 22 Feb 08 - 04:32 PM
Acme 22 Feb 08 - 04:29 PM
Amos 22 Feb 08 - 04:02 PM
MMario 22 Feb 08 - 03:23 PM
Amos 22 Feb 08 - 03:19 PM
Amos 22 Feb 08 - 03:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 09:15 PM

There is a tune running around in my head this evening. From Annie.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow. . .



Do you think you'll need surgery on the knee, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 09:14 PM

Ah, :itt;e Hawk, you play my stern, polysyllabic lectures back to me and expect me to be recondite? Pshaw, teach your gramma to suck eggs, rather.

Your disrespect for descriptive, regional linguistics shows you as an authoritarian martinet, sirrah, a man of much pretense and little conscience or discrimination about the genuine values of communication; in short a poser, and a hoser, Or, if you insist on Qu?becois, a poseur and a hoseur.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 08:06 PM

I like screech. It's good stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 08:02 PM

The word is still "poseur", Amos. It's a French word. The fact that a few dumbass American youths have such lazy brains that they can't handle spelling or pronouncing any word they haven't already seen in Batman or Popular Mechanics does not change the fact that the real word is "poseur".

A "poser" is a question that is very difficult to answer. She was not talking about a poser, she was talking about a poseur. Note that the accent in poseur is on the 2nd syllable, while the accent in poser is on the first.

Once again, sir, you are being a cantakerous, obstreperous, deliberately obstructionist, and downright unreasonable diddlyboob of the worst sort. I shall have to reduce your official intellectual rating by one star...from a "9" to an "8". Hang your head in shame!

Janie - It's true we don't have too many hillbillies...but we have thousands and thousands of hosers in Canada, and they are just as good. Or bad. Depending on how you look at it. And then we've got Newfies and Squid-Jiggers too. If them "byes" lived in Tennessee or West Virginia, they would BE hillbillies of the first water, I can assure you. Newfies make "Screech" too and it's even stronger than moonshine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 07:40 PM

I feel sorry for Johnny. His whole life ahead of him, voted "Most Likely To Succeed," valedictorian AND salutarian for his class, Class President, football hero by scoring the winning touchdown at the Homecoming Game, Captain of the basketball team, champion goalie of the soccer team, First Trumpet in the Band, National Honor Society, accepted at Harvard AND Yale AND Bob Jones University, champion debater, and voted "Biggest Heartthrob" by no less than six sororities. Poor Johnny...doomed to a life of disgrace and shame and Utter Degradation And Depravity.

They'll probably find his body in the Tallahatchee River someday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 07:22 PM

Just so she doesn't curse your cast if you have the surgery!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 07:14 PM

Cute kids like me don't cast curses. That curse was created by Mom her own self so that I'd get a Really Cool Number because I'm hobbling around with a bum knee, using a hiking stick to assist. Mom thought that it might cheer me up, what with me facing possible surgery and all, and so she cast the curse.

Poor Johnny....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 05:30 PM

The problem with Canada, LH, is a dearth of hillbillies. Other than that, I understand it's a pretty fine place - except for the fact that you have winter there. " course, that's also the problem with Idaho.

A pox your curse, Rapaire. Such curses mean nothing to a hillbilly. We're born pretty thin-skinned. By the time we're 50, it has about all worn off anyhoo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 05:21 PM

In hillbilly we sez it and writes it how we wants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 04:59 PM

See also poser in the same reference collection, you poser...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 04:50 PM

It is most presumptuous of you, Rapaire, to even pretend to be casting curses in the House of MOAB. Especially against your own sibling. Now you say you're sorry right now. Otherwise you are going to catch it but good.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 03:32 PM

I hope Janie doesn't plan on going to the Prom this or any year. All of her skin is going to fall off during the Big Dance. Nothing else, just her skin. Not even her clothing. All of a sudden her partner (probably named "Johnny") will be dancing with a skinless person. He'll scream and run away, dropping his condoms as he goes. Out in the parking lot he'll start drinking, the first steps on the downhill road to Perdition And Worse, only it'll be more like driving over a cliff.

He'll end up writing speeches for Compassionate Conservatives.

And it will all be Janie's fault for disregarding The Curse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 03:25 PM

Fie, Little Hawk. Her meaning, which translates the French into English, was perfectly clear. So dere. Wise guy.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 03:02 PM

The word is "poseur". Another gift from the great nation which gave us the word "frisson"!

"poseur" vs "poser"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:52 PM

Who wants to hire a PHD?
Especially the one I have--in philosophy?

(chorus)
This PHD won't get jobs for you anymore,
and this PHD doesn't mean what it did before--
and if you want to get tenure-tracked in college,
it takes more than knowledge!

Time was that learning made you
the finest of the fine--
but now it just marks you as
the smartest in the jobless line!

(chorus)

This PHD only gives me another name
and this PHD is as useless as its frame--
and if you want to get tenure-tracked in college,
it takes more than knowledge!

(V. Alan White here


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:37 PM

I gotta say, Janie, that took real guts ... balls ...courage.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:29 PM

the cellulite!

Hah! Rap's a poser.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:28 PM

lose


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:28 PM

If I


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:27 PM

to see


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:27 PM

I


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:27 PM

Well


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:14 PM

My loaf of bread is out. We'll be good and let it cool for a few minutes before we fall on it like savages. . . hot bread and butter. Mmmmmm! Then I need to fix my garage door. Mom's going to hand me the screwdriver when I need it, and keep the dogs from underfoot. She's not perched over her computer trying to get an aesthetically interesting number, she has things to do today!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:07 PM

Who stands in protoplasm's thrall,
Condemned by body mass to live,
Entombed by cells, bound to the halls
Of that which takes, but scarcely gives
Such a one, whose mind is full
Of breasts and chests and flesh and butts
He is not meet, except in Bull
To speak the name of honest Guts.
Nor claim, while slave within those halls,
To know the higher truth of Balls.
Those golden rivers without fear
Transcend the lives of body's claim
And do not need perfume, nor beer,
To reach beyond mere body fame.
Then, from your mortal shell stand freed
And listen for still Spirit's call,
ANd only there, stand with t he creed,
The Higher Truth of Guts and Balls.

Torres Hordecorp Enfin
Les Chansons des Voies Plus Hautes
Paris, 1941, Fr?res Loins d'Hors, pubs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 12:36 PM

I must post this, as it has Great Medical Implications for every married man who frequents the Mudcat Cafe. And where better to do so than here?

In an effort to keep you informed about the difference between "guts" and "balls", the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in hospitalization.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 11:57 AM

LOL!!!!!!!! I LOVE that poem you did about me, Amos! Excellent. I will attempt to respond if I find the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 11:22 AM

I was tired when I wrote that. You're probably right.

She's up now and on the phone to various local connections. Looks like my Saturday will be fully subscribed in running her around places. Her boyfriend will come pick her up later this evening.

It could be expensive. She says she needs another external hard drive. Instead, I'll counsel that she buy a stack of DVD-Rs and backup the existing backup to free up some space. (Though Gigabytes are so cheap now--I see a 500GB external drive at Fry's for $109.)

Ten to go. Darn, I have stuff to do today. Hmmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 11:16 AM

My brother in law used to drive one of those Cowboy Exuberance things, with the extra trailer hitch and the double-axles and the vertical emission stacks and six wheel drive? He drove it unbridled one time too often, and they impounded it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 09:27 AM

I think it derives from unbridled cowboy exuberance, usually punctuated with pistol shots into the air, street lights, store windows, and various and sundry passers-by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 08:50 AM

Stilly:

I believe in modern parlance, "yeehaw" is a single term, or word, if it is a word, which I doubt. More of an ungrounded expletive or enthusiastic ejaculation. But in any case.

Do you suppose it derives from the marriage of "gee" and "haw", port and starboard commands for mule- and oxen-drivers? Or is it a corruption of "Yahoo"?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 01:29 AM

Moonglow is here for the night! Yee, Haw!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 12:20 AM

Yeeehaaa -- ready up that loop and set the houlihan.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 07:16 PM

Will the cellulite fall off with the skin? If so -you may have a race on your hands.

Amos, Hopefully doing pretty much what I'm doing now. A local non-profit multi-services substance abuse outpatient and detox facility is stepping into the gap to pick up at least some of the clients that will be abandoned when my company closes four clinics in three counties at the end of the month. I get to bring those clients I didn't move to my private practice with me, and get to help design what the service delivery system will look like.    I also get back $10,000 of the $13,000 pay cut I took in January.   

Visa and Mastercard will be pleased.

Hmmm....what's that down the road there? Is it moving this way? (squinting, hand shading eyes from the glare of the afternoon sun.)

Welllll, lookee there! I believe I see my sense of humor heading home:>)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:56 PM

By the way, if anyone other than myself takes number 22,222 they will be cursed: all of their skin will fall off all at once while they are dancing at the Prom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:52 PM

That's wonderful! I got the job I have now when I was on Mudcat. Join the 'Cat, be employed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:51 PM

Oh, and by the way, my "Diatribe on Little Hawk" post WAS 22200.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:50 PM

YAYYYY! Doing what where?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:49 PM

Rap may have got 22188, but I got sumpin' even better....A JOB!    Thought I was going to be standing in the unemployment line the first Monday in March.

Behold! Like the phoenix, I arise from the ashes of mental health "reform."

(At least for the moment:>)

Too wet and cold to wack weeds right now. (The daffodils and crested iris don't seem to mind, though.)



.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:45 PM

See, that's the trouble with the bugger
An intransigent damned plant-hugger
Who, when you ask, "Please mow the lawn"
Is out the back and quickly gone!
He'd rather drool, with dozy eyes
On every weed that 'round him lies
Than do a lick of honest work!
I tell you, Mom, he's just a jerk!
And with his "Love all planties" fuss
He makes it hard for the rest of us!!
There's dandelions, should be turned,
And leaves a-plenty to be burned
But Little Hawk, that pinko brat
Is in his mind too good for that,
And we (with doubled chores) get pissed!
I betcha he's a communist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:36 PM

A plant should ne'er be called a "weed"!
All plants are plants, and grow from seeds
And every plant beneath the sun's
As good as any other one
Let's turn aside that evil word
To call plants "weeds" is just absurd!
The Earth will ne'er be truly freed
Until men cease to call plants weeds!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:26 PM

Okay, okay, I'll take care of the grass and stuff just like I've done
before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 05:51 PM

Fire Little Hawk? Better a gnarly job than having to do it herself. She's going to be busy in the veggie garden, so you guys just work out who is going to mow the green strip on the driveway and all of the tall stuff on the side and on the parking strip. Or hire some goats to do it, just keep them out of the veggies. And keep them off the cow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 05:24 PM

I hope that I shall never gawk
At weeds as mowed by Little Hawk
A patch of weeds in dire trouble,
Some of them high, some of them rubble
With lines of mower through them weavin'
A job no Mother could believe in!
If I were Mom, I'd stow this talk,
And go and fire little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 04:38 PM

I do not weed nor mow, he said.
I leave such tasks to Amos instead.
He does such things so wonderously well
And when I do them they look like Hell.
Instead I'll pine and grasp away
And wait with bated breath to say
"Yippee! Hoo-haa! Yippee! Yahoo!
I've copped twenty thousand two hundred and twenty-two!"
                --Barney N. Nobel, Poems My Grandma Hated
                  (Poughkip...Pooke...Albany, NY: 1919)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 04:32 PM

*whinge*

I mowed the weeds last year!

It's LH's turn!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 04:29 PM

You boys put away those shootin' arns, and git ready to start doing some yard work. The weeds need mowing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 04:02 PM

YEs, her uncle on the Hepburn side of the family. That's where the family jewels descended from.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 03:23 PM

WB was Holly's Uncle, wasn't he? Too bad they cut all his lyrics from the production.

But I understand they brought charges of nepotism. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 03:19 PM

Give us eleven more! he roared
And stamped, and fumed and thundered.
Eleven posts, and then by Gawd,
We'll be twenty-two, two hundred!
A number rich, and full and round!
Two-two-two (twice timed ten)!
He stamped his foot, hard on the ground,
ANd roared, and stamped again.
Eleven posts!!! Is that too much?
For such a stalwart crew??
Pray, say not so, for if 't is such,
Then blazes be fer you!
Go back to sleep! Go crawl a hole!
Go, climb back on your shelf!!
If you cannot, to save your soul,
I'll post them all myself!!!!!


William Bendix Golightly
I Sing of Plumbing at Tiffany's
Brown, Whett, and Fowle, New Yorke, 1928


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 03:10 PM

But....why????



A


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