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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 27 Oct 07 - 12:05 AM
Acme 26 Oct 07 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 07 - 06:56 PM
Amos 26 Oct 07 - 05:56 PM
GUEST,freds 26 Oct 07 - 05:47 PM
Little Hawk 26 Oct 07 - 05:24 PM
MMario 26 Oct 07 - 03:55 PM
Amos 26 Oct 07 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 07 - 08:58 AM
Little Hawk 26 Oct 07 - 12:20 AM
Acme 25 Oct 07 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 10:15 PM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 07:13 PM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 07:09 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 02:07 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 02:06 PM
beardedbruce 25 Oct 07 - 01:58 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 01:55 PM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 01:50 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 01:31 PM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 01:28 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 01:26 PM
MMario 25 Oct 07 - 01:24 PM
Acme 25 Oct 07 - 01:20 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM
beardedbruce 25 Oct 07 - 01:07 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 11:50 AM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 09:08 AM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 07:44 AM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 11:13 PM
Acme 24 Oct 07 - 11:06 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:24 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 08:29 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 Oct 07 - 07:59 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 07:03 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 06:44 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 06:42 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 06:12 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 04:28 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 07 - 12:05 AM

I had some shame once, but it evaporated into nothingness when I witnessed with horror and increasing dismay the grotesque travesties inflicted on the world by scurrilous scoundrels like this fellow, Amos. What a poseur! What a master of cowflop and unutterable blathertwaddle clothed in fancy language! The arrant fool dares to suggest that I am responsible for "freds". Codswallop! I am not responsible for "freds". I have nothing to do with the origins of "freds". I despise "freds" from the depths of my being and always have done so. "freds" do not exist for me, except as the hollow rumor of an empty notion that echoes vainly and uselessly in the uttermost reaches of a banal mind which babbles on to itself in some sort of nameless conceptual void.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 11:26 PM

I think MOM was in her cups when she first invited the freds home. We don't speak about that too often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 06:56 PM

What does LH have against gerbils? Or freds, for that matter? If Mom lets them come visit who is LH to say "NO!"? Would he disobey Mom? Contradict her judgement? For shame! For shame! Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 05:56 PM

I suspect, dear Freds that you already have all the genetic sewage available from our friend Hawk. And that his impassioned call for cruel and unusual punishment is either a completely red herring, or a slightly pink one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 05:47 PM

Now we will have to take the defective genetic material of the one who calls itself "Little Hawk." It will be of no use and will be disposed of if the flavoids are defective, as they appear to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 05:24 PM

Or re-enlist.

I wish I knew who was resonsible for that silly "freds" crap. Whoever it is should be suspended over a pit of famished gerbils and slowly, slowly lowered down, inch by inch....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 03:55 PM

stray no more to lowly dives and shady
Storefronts of the lustful, drunk and craven;


oh Jay-zues! Amos, you KNOW when she doesn't go slumming she starts inviting them home instead. . .

I mean, remember, that's how Sh*atner showed up the first time. . .and the freds. . .

She starts doing it agian and I may have to enlist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 03:48 PM

Dammit, Ma, now don't you know
We hate to find you hanging low,
Cruising the darker edges of the town,
Your numbers stalled, and buttons open down
To nearly your navel; that's no decent way
To travel, for a woman of your age.
Consider the great numbers now found sitting
On your brow, and find a way befitting,
More meet for such a gracious lady,
And stray no more to lowly dives and shady
Storefronts of the lustful, drunk and craven;
Mom, come up! And cease your misbehaving!

Anne Orphill Jeremiad, writing as Wale Oilby Scrood in
Fashions of a Broken Mind, Hardly, Makinnit, eds.,
Boston, 1890


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 08:58 AM

Whatever small sounds I hear will be better than the constant one-note "ringing" I hear now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 12:20 AM

My Dad's hearing was bad most of his life. It got ruined by the sound of the tank he drove in WWII...those things made a LOT of noise, specially if you were inside them.

He refused to wear a hearing aid, but finally was sort of forced to. When he did finally try them, he didn't like them, because he could now hear all sorts of small distracting sounds all around that he had not heard for decades, and it drove him nuts. He could not seem to adjust them to suit him. So he refused to wear them.

You just can't win with some people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 11:23 PM

My mother had expensive hearing aids, but the last couple of weeks of her life she wouldn't wear them, so it was very difficult to speak with her. One had fallen on the floor at the hospital and a nurse accidentally crushed it underfoot. So she wanted to save the other one for a safer time and place to use it. But there wasn't one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 10:15 PM

And I am very thankful, to science and whoever is turning the crank. The aids will be very small and sit above my ears, with a tiny pipe going down into the ear canal. Like this, and in fact it could be an Oticon Delta that I get. I understand that the VA dispenses very, very good hearing aids. (The going cost is about USD 1,600 each. Yes, I will happily pay the co-pay.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:33 PM

Thank gawd we live in an age where that rare gift can be given you back, good sir.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 08:54 PM

As is pointed out quite well in The Book of Five Rings.

Amos: from explosions and gunfire and helicopters and unmuffled generators and air-compressor-driven power tools and motor pools and too-loud noises in general. And I wear and have worn for years hearing protection when I cut the grass, blow snow, fire guns, use a chainsaw or any other power tool...but by then the damage was done. So I have a constant tinnitus and bilateral hearing loss in the upper registers (above about 4 Khz) and I will be fitted for hearing aids on November 6 at, I believe, 1 p.m. and I will gladly pay to the VA whatever the co-pay is. The full enjoyment of music has been too long absent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 07:13 PM

Yes, BB, one set. The long sword and the short sword. Long swords are more popular, but a short sword can be handier in constricted circumstances, and it is also possible to fight using both swords at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 07:09 PM

Hearing aids, huh? Too much time in the brass section? The firing range?
Surely not the dusty, whispering stacks that have brought you to this pass?
It is surely loud sounds and wrong sounds
That take the hearing from the mind
And turn it low; or else
You have placed yourself where things
Were being said you never meant to hear.
Surrounded by those who insist
On using their gifts for the art
To turn out bland noises of no merit.
Eyes are for eyes, when sundown's near;
But who would not give his heart
For just one ear?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 02:07 PM

And as for music -- I have an electronic tuner now, and get hearing aids on November 6. Ha ha ha. Fooled you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 02:06 PM

Actually, I work to keep my wife in fabric and quilting stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:58 PM

Only one set?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:55 PM

I used to have a lot of fun with guns and swords. Matter of fact, I have a set of samurai swords here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:50 PM

You'd probably have more fun with guns and swords, Little Hawk. Ask Rapaire to teach you. He'd be happy to.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:31 PM

I work so I can build a greater shrine to Shatner and one day secure a date with Winona Ryder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:28 PM

That's pure BS, Rapaire. You work so you can buy guns. I work so I can sing songs with friends. And thereby hangs a tale.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:26 PM

No, some of us have to work so that others can play....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:24 PM

Rapaire - you've obviously never been to Getaway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:20 PM

J. K. Rowling.

What a subtext!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM

It's foul, disgusting, perverted, degenerate, revolting, repugnant, loathsome, vile, scandalous, appalling, repellent, shocking, and abhorrent to everyone except those scum who revel in such things. You will never hear it sung anywhere outside of the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:07 PM

"Nah, I can't finish this on a family thread. "


PLEASE! We wait with bated ( and baited- I had sushi) breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 12:29 PM

H.G. Wells.   W.H. Auden. The list goes on and on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 11:50 AM

Lemme tell ya of a story 'bout a man named Zed,
Mellow Californian barely kept his family bed
Then one day he was out a-buyin' food
When out of the produce came a good-lookin' nude.

Girl, that is. A woman.

Next thing ya know ol' Zed's....

Nah, I can't finish this on a family thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:34 AM

Well, it's not that they were all named Roger. I said some folks. But it's a complicated world and the hunger for clarity can make a man want to erase his whole name and just call himself Zed.

There are other reasons, not least of which are Horatio, Dionysius, Dithyrambo, and Heracles, all names which end up getting one laughed off the playground.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:08 AM

H. P. Lovecraft and D. H. Lawrence were really named Roger? I had an uncle named Roger. Could they possibly be my Uncle Roger? H. P. and D. H. share a lot with my uncle besides the name "Roger" -- for example, they're all dead. Wow. The unwritten books: The Horror Over Innsmouth and Lovers...Lady Chatterly's Rats In The Walls....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 07:44 AM

Some folks are named Roger, and they yearn for simplicity. That's about all there is to it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 11:13 PM

H.P. Lovecraft went in for it in a big way too, perhaps even more so than D.H. Lawrence.

Say, what is this thing with authors that use 2 initials and their surname to identify themselves?

We oughta start a thread about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 11:06 PM

D.H. Lawrence was particularly fond of that last word. Used it over and over in Women In Love.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:48 PM

Not to mention inchoate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM

innumerate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM

You forgot intangible, ineffable, and


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:25 PM

And completely unrogered, his poor ashes left unhauled, feeling impregnable, impenetrable, unbearable.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:24 PM

I dunno about Hendrix, but "Shane McBride" did...over and over and over and over and over and over until he finally believed it, even though he was and probably still is unswiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 08:29 PM

That's true here as well. Everybody pretends to be quite "experienced" regardless of whether they are or not. They're afraid people will think they are losers. Some, sadly, have gone on pretending for so long that they finally got too old to do anything about the situation.

And there are others who have been acting "experienced" for so long that they have begun to believe their own stories!

Didn't Jimi Hendrix write something about that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 07:59 PM

I hear those virgins are fairly 'tight lipped' about certain aspects of their virgin-ity-ness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 07:03 PM

Yes, but not if the 97 year old says "no"...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM

Even in Ontario it's legal to have sex with a 97 year old.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:44 PM

You are most welcome. I have often made the mistake of assuming that you were saying what you meant too, so you're forgiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:42 PM

Aha!! Thanks for clarifying that. Of course, I assumed you were saying what you meant. Thanks for the correction.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:34 PM

I meant legal to have sex with, you nong! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:12 PM

Well, they gotta catch 'em first, and some of them old virgins swing a mighty mean cane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM

Oh, and I am just positive there are teeming ranks of Correction Department employees of both genders lining up to serve in rectifying the thinking of these poor, misled souls...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 04:28 PM

Well, Amos, not in Idaho. It's a criminal offense here if you're still virgin, or even vergin' on virgin, after you reach the age of 97 years.


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