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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Oct 07 - 01:15 PM
Amos 02 Oct 07 - 01:08 PM
Little Hawk 02 Oct 07 - 12:36 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 02 Oct 07 - 12:27 PM
MMario 02 Oct 07 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 02 Oct 07 - 11:18 AM
Acme 02 Oct 07 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 02 Oct 07 - 09:14 AM
Acme 02 Oct 07 - 01:29 AM
Amos 01 Oct 07 - 11:11 PM
Acme 01 Oct 07 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 07 - 10:09 PM
Amos 01 Oct 07 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 07 - 09:23 PM
MMario 01 Oct 07 - 11:25 AM
Acme 01 Oct 07 - 11:20 AM
MMario 01 Oct 07 - 10:49 AM
Acme 01 Oct 07 - 10:42 AM
Amos 01 Oct 07 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 01 Oct 07 - 09:32 AM
Amos 01 Oct 07 - 08:06 AM
Amos 30 Sep 07 - 11:44 PM
Amos 30 Sep 07 - 11:33 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 10:09 PM
Little Hawk 30 Sep 07 - 09:42 PM
Peace 30 Sep 07 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 09:26 PM
Peace 30 Sep 07 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 09:24 PM
Little Hawk 30 Sep 07 - 09:24 PM
Peace 30 Sep 07 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 09:20 PM
Little Hawk 30 Sep 07 - 09:17 PM
Peace 30 Sep 07 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 05:25 PM
Amos 30 Sep 07 - 03:56 PM
Peace 30 Sep 07 - 03:40 PM
Acme 30 Sep 07 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 01:54 PM
Peace 30 Sep 07 - 12:45 PM
Acme 30 Sep 07 - 12:42 PM
Little Hawk 30 Sep 07 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 11:15 AM
Acme 30 Sep 07 - 10:22 AM
Acme 30 Sep 07 - 10:21 AM
bubblyrat 30 Sep 07 - 10:20 AM
bubblyrat 30 Sep 07 - 10:15 AM
Amos 30 Sep 07 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 09:13 AM
Rapparee 30 Sep 07 - 08:58 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:15 PM

Now nineteen nine and seventy, boys,
There's only thirty more,
Until our Mom can drop her hook,
On that blesse sandy shore.
And then we'll all be given leave
To swim ashore and play
With loverly dusky maidens there
Who yearn to fill our days.
And then we'll all drink MaiTais, too,
Sweet as Tahitian morn,
And when we get past Twenty Kay,
A new day will be born.
We'll paddle 'bout and eat our chow
From palm leaves in the sun,
And never have a care or woe
'Til twenty-k and one.

Jefferson Davis Schults
Musings from a Melting Pot
Anchorage Press, Juneau-Erdoncha, 1994


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:08 PM

Do we HAVE to include imaginary playmates? Let's ask Gluon.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 12:36 PM

Yeah, eh? And he's never been an intergalactic freedom fighter either. Not like you, Shane. He's probably just a big wimp who can't hold his beer, that's what I figure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 12:27 PM

What the flip is this? Rparear drinking flippin' MILK? HAW! I knew he wasn't any kind of flippin' man!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 12:23 PM

huh! suck up to MOM all you want, but wait until she finds out you've been over at the Tavern hitting the warm milk again! Straight up and **FULL FAT**!

you are in T.R.O.U.B.L.E!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 11:18 AM

Ah, but MINE is freshly roasted and ground!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 10:25 AM

I already brought her a cuppa Yorkshire Gold this morning--way ahead of you (one of the few advantages of being in a different time zone). It's the house brand around here (until the box sent by a previous year's Secret Santa finally runs out, anyway).

She won't refuse the muffins, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 09:14 AM

I shall not take 20,000. I have risen above such mundane and puerile things, leaving them for the childish and boorish. I shall, instead, content myself with preparing a few freshly-baked muffins for Mother, along with a nice pot of Yorkshire Gold tea.

My "dibs" is now in toss-up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:29 AM

Night, MOM. Sleep tight. Tomorrow might be a big day.

Whoever hits the big 20,000, ESPECIALLY if it is a poacher, should dedicate a large sum of money to the support and well-being of Mudcat. Just so you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 11:11 PM

We are thirty-nine from the Great DIvide,
High in the mountain air;
And tho' t'was one hellacious ride,
It is all down hill from there.
There's nary a doubt in my weary mind.
None will e'er give up the ghost,
But once we cross that Twenty K,
We will coast, and laugh, and coast.

Winnifred Lawrence Smathers
Far from the Back Bay, Singing
Lowell, Cabot and Cod, pubs.
Boston, 1876


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 10:47 PM

Heck, I've been out working - someone has to pay MOM's light bill. And I mowed the lawn at lunchtime. There's this spot between my house and the house next door that is like a solar oven at the noon hour. I thought I'd bake my brains before I finished that stretch of the yard.

I have since recovered. Keep up the good work, there are bound to be poachers hanging out behind the outhouse, just waiting to run up and ring the bell when no one is looking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 10:09 PM

Worked the roots on ya, did he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 10:01 PM

Mom, I am just back from the dentist. He is a nice man, but he did a root canal. I am glad he did it because it felt like my jaw was exploding slowly and now it feel fine. But my face was all rubber and it was hard to find where to eat through.

Anyway, I think people are scared of twenty kay.   


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 09:23 PM

Ya know, Ma, I was jist a wonderin' how low they'd let ya fall. Well, I guess I know now. Sure, you wasn't in any danger but still, to be sixth from the bottom...well, I never heard of such disrespect in all ma born days. I tell ya, kids these days don't pay any attention to their elders and betters. Out racin' buggies all night and drinkin' that hootch stuff they get from the bootleggers and before ya know it somebody's wrecked the buckboard or worse. That Amos, for example, HE'S a fine one! You know, he had too much rum one time and Blind Bill slipped him a mickey and he woke up halfway to Santiago on a boat hauling pigs down and guano back. But you know all about him, doncha Ma?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 11:25 AM

nope - just home and couldn't get the computer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 11:20 AM

Where were you? Back in 1620 again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 10:49 AM

My goodness all y'all were verbose over the weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 10:42 AM

It would truly be blind justice if our old friend Teresa swooped in on the wing of a bat and snagged 20,000. (Is there an "h" in her name?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 10:30 AM

Your claims are figments of a desperate imagining, and villainy in practice. I have no more forgotten those who brought us to this grand threshold than I could forget the very name of my own mother, Mrs. Whoozy.

That you should resort to such calumnies, sirrah, merely in order to obfuscate your own illegal claimancy on the Weiner of Twenty Kay, is an abysmal confession that there is not enough moral fiber in your diet.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 09:32 AM

"I claim nineteen nine and fifty now,"
He cried in tones so gruff.
A layabout from Southern Cal
Where life is oh! so rough.

Disparaging posts that brought him there,
Dissing Rapaire's Wisdom,
Dissing Stilly's gentle Truths,
And wherever Bee-Dubya's from.

Forgetting Peace, Khandu, and Tweed,
Bobert and Little Hawk,
Rustic, Dead Horse, Debbie Earl,
And all who came to talk.

Oh fie upon such twaddle, Sir!
To forget those who also posted!
King Khandu would flay you from his throne
And Mom would have you toasted.

But MOAB's way is Mercy's Way,
So punished you shall not be
But e'en Mother's patience has an end,
And 20K belongs to Rapaire.

         --Hinton Lyman O'Rourke, Messages Found In A Bottle
          (Electrum, Wyoming: De Verse Poetry Press, 1765).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 08:06 AM

I claim nineteen nine and fifty now.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 11:44 PM

Now nineteen nine and forty nine
Have all been posted here.
And though not all the posts were wise
And some were quite unclear,
At least we know, for true and sure,
As clear as summer thunder
That all those posts have added to
A bloody giant number.

Winston Marseilles
When the French Speak English
Liverpool, 1961


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 11:33 PM

I have seen in dreams the turning of of the Grand,
More fearful than a thousand Grecian ships.
Ten thousand crying voices, to a man,
Yelled out, "No dibs! No dibs! No dibs!"
And in my vision I would make them calm
And tell them to abate their friction,
But they would not still, and cried again,
"Mom giving dibs is sleazy fiction!!!!"
And when the morning came, to wake
Me from my vision in the dawn anew,
I looked into my heart and found,
'Twas true, and ever shall be true.


Truman, Lord Shallotbreath
Rumple on Stiltskin, 1921


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 10:09 PM

Log on, log on the Captain cried
For we are sorely pressed.
But Shane McBride from the bank replied,
"What, eh?"
             -- from The Good Ship Candybar


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:42 PM

This just in:   Shane McBride thinks that the term "log in" is an obscene sexual expression.

And ditto for "log out" of course... ("'Log in' is way better than 'log out', eh?")

"Log on" has him a little puzzled, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:39 PM

Sorry to hear that, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:26 PM

Remember, Mom gave me dibs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:24 PM

Only 42 more posts until you know what. Hee hee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:24 PM

There was also that story about the house I grew up in: Twenty Thousand Leaks Under The Ceiling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:24 PM

"Stranger than truth!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:22 PM

This thread will join the annals of other famosu things that have had the number 20,000 in it. What comes to mind is "The Hound of the Baskervilles". Strange, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:20 PM

They also leave their shit all over the place. Saw a golfer take a good whack at the ball, slip in a bunch of goose shit, and, well, he absolutely RUINED his Sans-a-belts and Polo shirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:17 PM

It's not easy to do anything with a flock of geese. They're quite aggressive birds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 08:17 PM

It can't be easy to fly all the way to Florida with a flight of geese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 05:25 PM

"Bated point" is still used in historical, classical, and sport fencing to indicate a weapon with a blunt (or non-pointy) point. My rapier, for instance, has a rounded point instead of one that is sharp -- a bated point. Over it I can put a large rubber tip, or "blunt," to further insure that my opponent isn't harmed.

In Hamlet Shakespeare has Laertes fence with an "unbated" and poisoned point. The King (whose given name was Herman) says:

We'll put on those shall praise your excellence        
And set a double varnish on the fame        
The Frenchman gave you, bring you, in fine, together        
And wager on your heads. He, being remiss,        
Most generous and free from all contriving,        
Will not peruse the foils, so that, with ease,        
Or with a little shuffling, you may choose        
A sword unbated, and in a pass of practice
Requite him for your father.


Later, Laertes says to Hamlet:

Laer. It is here, Hamlet. Hamlet, thou art slain;        
No medicine in the world can do thee good;        
In thee there is not half an hour of life;        
The treacherous instrument is in thy hand,        
Unbated and envenom'd. The foul practice        
Hath turn'd itself on me; lo! here I lie,        
Never to rise again. Thy mother's poison'd.        
I can no more. The king, the king's to blame.


More, in "The Merchant of Venice" Gratiano says:

Where is the horse that doth untread again        
His tedious measures with the unbated fire        
That he did pace them first?


Since you now know more about it than you ever thought possible I shall end my pedantics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 03:56 PM

NINETEEN,
NINE, and
THIRTY-FIVE....


We still use "abated" in lots of contexts, and we still understand contractions and aphesis. So I think the author was just rising energetically to a defense of willful ignorance and/or linguistic lazery.

I agree, of course, that we should not be slaves to the language, but rather, its masters. But even the master 'bates on occasion.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 03:40 PM

OK. So it's not Friday night and he still dressed in Spandex. Who was to know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 03:29 PM

BTW: The rest of the story, from a site called "World Wide Words." Good description.


    It's easy to mock, but there's a real problem here. Bated and baited sound the same and we no longer use bated (let alone the verb to bate), outside this one set phrase, which has become an idiom. Confusion is almost inevitable. Bated here is a contraction of abated through loss of the unstressed first vowel (a process called aphesis); it has the meaning "reduced, lessened, lowered in force". So bated breath refers to a state in which you almost stop breathing through terror, awe, extreme anticipation, or anxiety.

    Shakespeare is the first writer known to use it, in The Merchant of Venice: "Shall I bend low and, in a bondman's key, / With bated breath and whisp'ring humbleness, / Say this ...". Nearly three centuries later, Mark Twain employed it in Tom Sawyer: "Every eye fixed itself upon him; with parted lips and bated breath the audience hung upon his words, taking no note of time, rapt in the ghastly fascinations of the tale".


No one will accuse Gluon of abated breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 01:54 PM

G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 12:45 PM

H


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 12:42 PM

Ah, well, the spell check isn't too good on syntax. But I was fishing for a response, so it isn't too far off. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 12:16 PM

That's "bated" breath. "Baited" would be if you hang a worm on your lower lip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 11:15 AM

Those who are over 60 and going to Denver have dibs. Mom said so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 10:22 AM

;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 10:21 AM

That's not enough, you piker! There are several who are already 60 who are waiting with baited-breath hoping to swoop down on that number!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: bubblyrat
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 10:20 AM

It isn't going to be as easy as that is it!
Anniecat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: bubblyrat
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 10:15 AM

Bubblyrat is 60 tomorrow, let him be 20,000 on this thread!! Love Anniecat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:21 AM

You are SUCH a brown-nose, Rapaire.

I am glad you came back from that long-ago voyage. It would have really made Mom less interesting if you had not.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:13 AM

Yes, yes, Mom. I'll have a laptop with me. I won't leave you alone amidst the Rest Of These.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 08:58 AM

Denver, the mile-high city.... Denver, where I and the rest of the National Guard company detrained in 1968 on our way to Ft. Carson and then to The War -- yes, armed and helmeted, drawn up in company formation across the street from a construction site with labor troubles, where the strikers first gaped and then started grabbing axe handles and other clubs...and then the buses arrived to take us away....


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