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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 11 Aug 07 - 12:07 AM
Rapparee 10 Aug 07 - 11:41 PM
Janie 10 Aug 07 - 10:36 PM
Janie 10 Aug 07 - 10:25 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 07 - 10:23 PM
Amos 10 Aug 07 - 10:01 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 07 - 09:29 PM
Amos 10 Aug 07 - 09:21 PM
Janie 10 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 07 - 08:56 PM
JennyO 10 Aug 07 - 08:40 PM
Amos 10 Aug 07 - 07:31 PM
Acme 10 Aug 07 - 06:38 PM
JennyO 10 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 07 - 12:21 PM
JennyO 10 Aug 07 - 11:41 AM
Acme 10 Aug 07 - 11:32 AM
Amos 10 Aug 07 - 11:26 AM
JennyO 10 Aug 07 - 09:33 AM
Amos 10 Aug 07 - 09:28 AM
JennyO 10 Aug 07 - 09:20 AM
Amos 10 Aug 07 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 10 Aug 07 - 09:09 AM
JennyO 09 Aug 07 - 11:40 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 11:35 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 07 - 11:32 PM
JennyO 09 Aug 07 - 11:29 PM
Amos 09 Aug 07 - 11:26 PM
JennyO 09 Aug 07 - 11:25 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 11:21 PM
JennyO 09 Aug 07 - 11:17 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 10:15 PM
Amos 09 Aug 07 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 07 - 06:44 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 06:27 PM
Amos 09 Aug 07 - 06:17 PM
Amos 09 Aug 07 - 03:47 PM
Acme 09 Aug 07 - 02:13 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 02:01 PM
Amos 09 Aug 07 - 01:55 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 01:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 07 - 01:12 PM
Acme 09 Aug 07 - 10:53 AM
Amos 09 Aug 07 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 07 - 09:09 AM
JennyO 09 Aug 07 - 08:58 AM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 07:13 AM
JennyO 09 Aug 07 - 06:03 AM
Amos 09 Aug 07 - 02:00 AM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 07 - 01:25 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 07 - 12:07 AM

Rapaire:

The history of the disagreement between gentlemen, at least on my part, is clearly avalable in written history, and is not as you have portrayed it.

The challenged failed to appear at the appointed time, and made obsequious excuses for it.

Pray review the time line before casting aspersions.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 11:41 PM

It was simply a brawl, a common street fight. Amos asked me to be his Second and LH nominated Chongo, but we Seconds never got a chance to decide upon doing this properly before they lit into each other.

I therefore post them as Poltroons and anything except Gentlefolk, and Chongo agrees with me in this posting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 10:36 PM

Oh good. They may be able to work out for themselves.

Mom will be pleased. They're growing up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 10:25 PM

Why, thank you Amos. Umhhh, that cold lemonade is good. It's been dark 2 hours, and the temp. is still 100 F out on the back porch.

Jenny, these scones are delicious. What a wonderful, cozy, welcoming space you have created. Maggie, honey, I love you dearly. I hope you don't mind me asking, but why does the aroma of wintergreen seem to emminate from your pores?

Do you think we better get Mom down here to settle the boys down a bit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 10:23 PM

"re-initioate"?

Never mind.

Just agree that it was a draw and we can get back to the vitally important business of, you know, what we usually do around here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 10:01 PM

Dear Sir:

The decimation was a bit of an exaggeration. But you yourself failed to appear for a challenge duly made, and then complained that you were away when you were not, and then pretended to have been engaged on business, when you then said was actually posting on other threads. It has been a long exhausting discussion with you, and only yourmental fragility has saved you from a more vigorous drubbing. Let us not now re-initioate the entire waste of time!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:29 PM

Quit pretending you won anything, Amos. I am completely intact and have not suffered any such reverses as you fantasize. You are living, sir, in a dream world of your own making.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:21 PM

Hey, long-lost sistah!! Welcome home!!

Relentless? Nah, usually I am as affable as a daffodil. Monsieur Hawk, however, caused my ire to bristle by insulting our Mom. So I lit into him and left him scattered about the south forty. But all is now peaceable and he seems to be recovering, after having worried us with some paranoidal aphasic syndrome behaviours which he then blamed on Chongo, his imaginary simian playmate..

IF you ever DO go back and peruse the last eighteen thousand posts, you'll find lots of great epic ballads about Mom's heroic struggles to reach various Grands. We are just getting close enough to warm up for the Nineteenth of Grand, which will be sump'n, you betcha.

Nice to have you hear. Mom made a nice bedroom up for you on the third floor with a southern window with a nice tree just outside perfect for shinnying down should the impulse take you.

She felt really bad when she heard you thought she had abandoned you -- it was not her fault. She herself had been held up on a coach on the edge of the desert and was seized and absconded with by savage indigenous conservative.

Feel free to make yourself right to home, and I'll getcher some lemonade.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM

Hey, how come you all left me out there in the bush, all by myself? I like to never found my way back! (I don't know what you call cowboys here on the other side of the world, but they is sumthin'!)

Still, she ain't much of Mom to leave a youngin' out on her own like that.

I'm still wondering what I have walked into. Body parts and biscuits strewn all over the rug, while a perfectly lovely tea goes on in it's midst.

It's awkard, ya know? Mom gave me up for adoption. (Not true, the Nuns found me out by the dumpster, but Mom will never admit to that, and why confront her at this stage.) So anyways....it took me years to trace y'all, my blood family, and even longer to decide to make contact. I could tell right off we were kin, you know? Only I don't have the history together that all y'all have, ya know? And I don't give enough of a hoot to go back and read the last 50 posts, much less all 18,000.

So tell me, is LH's affliction genetic?   Is bro' Amos always so relentless? Will Jenny and SRS love me like a sister or treat me like Cinderella? What heinous act did Rapaire commit to be sentenced to two weeks in Canada, locked in his room with nothing but a laptop and a wireless card? And where is brother Mmario when I need him?

Can some one point me to the loo?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 08:56 PM

"My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 08:40 PM

I've been virtually virtuous from time to time. It beats being really virtuous, which can be boring - really!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 07:31 PM

Rapaire often stakes out reality which exists only in a virtual sense, including his sense of virtue itself. It's virtual virtue, leading to a virtually virtuous code of virtual conduct. Leaves ordinary reality in the dust, I'm telling ya!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 06:38 PM

I remember that now. He said he'd be gone for a couple of weeks. He has turned up so often I wondered if he was home because otherwise he is missing his vacation. I guess he's hovering over the computer in his hotel room. Maybe this is as much excitement as he expected to get out of this two weeks of vacation. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM

Ah - only here in a virtual sense. Rapaire was posting so much lately I somehow got the impression he was back. At least his post was in English this time - well, apart from the Latin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 12:21 PM

My family motto is "Sine virtus, sine laus." That's Latin. It translates, roughly, as "No guts, no glory."

Rapaire is currently writing this in a hotel room in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Rapaire won't be back in Idaho until late on the 14th, mostly because Rapaire has to be back at work on the 15th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 11:41 AM

He's back, but he seems to have picked up some kind of bug from Little Hawk.

Boy did I get that translation wrong! I thought Noxtecous ganta flid was some kind of poisonous sea-monster.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 11:32 AM

Sorry I wasn't here sooner, Mom. I've been cleaning out the computer. I went to defrag last night and received the message that there wasn't enough room left on the disk to defrag. Wow! Must be all of those recorded books and movies I listened to and watched that I never got rid of. So I bailed out a bunch and now I'm attacking the duplicate files. I may not come up for air again for a while--I also have to list a bunch of stuff on eBay. Gotta clear out the house a little, as well as the computer. (Good indoor activity on this hot summer day. Summer did finally arrive.)

So did Rapaire get back home finally, or is he still on the road? Mom wonders if he's going to bring any of his fancy biscuits and jam over one of these days for breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 11:26 AM

Actually, although he is not sayin' nuffin' 'bout it, Rapaire's family crest has the ancient Ukrainian motto in silver letters on it, Noxtecous ganta flid.

It translates roughly as "Do (shit) unto others before they would do unto you." There is no word to directly translate the imperative "Noxtecous" of the verb "noxticir", which most closely in actual usage resembles the American phrase "to lay some bad shit on".

"Ganta" is derived from "g-anty", which has cognate relationships with various meta-cyrillic forms relating to "before", "ahead of", and "by a nose".

"Flid" is of course the subjunctive form of the third-person plural "flis", meaning 'they do', from "flir", to do, although in colloquial terms probably better rendered as "to, like, do, ya know?".


A



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:33 AM

And so say all of us!

Nice one Amos. Makes me feel all misty, sorta (sniff).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:28 AM

When life gets very lonesome
And I mope and cuss and cry,
I wander back to MOAB dear,
The thread that will not die.

I wander through ten thousand posts
In which I leant a hand,
And read the songs of triumph
At every turning Grand.

The fights and quips I wander through
Are quick, and fun, and bright,
And somehow reading MOAB makes
The world seem put to rights.

For there's nothing like a MOAB
To brighten up your day
A band of good and faithful
To warm you on your way.

No, there's nothing like a MOAB,
To make a mad world calm,
So here's a toast to MOAB Folks,
And --most of all -- to Mom!!

Zachariah Pendurthle Jones
A Hankering Fer Freedom
Penny Dreadful Poetry, New Haven, 1956


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:20 AM

I must be getting the hang of this strange language. I almost understood that. Only almost, mind you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:17 AM

Saddam started a war? You mean the one with Iran?


Bush should have been paying attention.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 07 - 09:09 AM

It seems to bx rtal eh. Noxtecous ganta flid Little Hawk's contagion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:40 PM

No Rapaire, she was SLEEPING in it. Er - it's a long story....

I see you have recovered quickly - you are starting to make sense again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:35 PM

Poor Saddam. He should've started a thread, not a war. If he had, he'd probably still be going strong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:32 PM

Mom wasn't...rolling in the hay again, was she?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:29 PM

Speaking of whom - MOM is awake and looking well-rested after her holiday in Australia. She needed a good clean up though. Bits of hay everywhere!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:26 PM

Aberrations, neuroses, p[psychotic episodes, obsessions, and hallucinatory rationalizations come and go. But Mom is forever.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:25 PM

I was expecting an answer like that ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:21 PM

Not if it's anything like this thread, it won't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 11:17 PM

So what's Chongo been up to with the equipment? We seem to have Rapaire speaking in tongues now.

Will it never end????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 10:15 PM

Awww, shit.

I hate to say this, but it wasn't Amos that did it. It was that idiot Chongo. He's been monkeying around with the equipment here, and he knows more about it than I would have suspected. He must've been moonlighting at computer school or reading "The Apes Guide to Digital Electronics and Hot Babes" or something like that.

(He's been trying to build a radio control thing that causes women to get...umm... well...really 'excited' from a distance of, oh, thirty feet or so...but "It still ain't workin' right" he tells me..."It seems to work great on squirrels, they go ecstatic and fall outa the tree...but it don't work on women. I musta put in a bad capacitor or else I got it tuned to the wrong frequency.")

Anyway, he somehow managed to patch in a remote thingie here that was rerouting all the signals from my keyboard in a totally random fashion. He finally blew his cover when he read my last post. He burst out lauching so hard that he fell off his chair and started rolling around on the floor. Every time I caught his eye he laughed harder. I thought maybe he was gonna die, but no such luck.

When he could finally talk again, he confessed to the whole thing and then went into another laughing fit. The little bastard!

I will not be sorry when he decides to go back to the Windy City, believe me. I have had just about enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 07:05 PM

Wow. I am just completely, like, ya know, non-plussed, like. Synthetic syntheses of artificial paranoia about imaginary identities. Where's the beef, Little Hawk?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 06:44 PM

ajdkA rit edih la? lasti wera, Hutxb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 06:27 PM

Don't play innocent, you scoundrel! You have conspired with someone in the infamous "inner clique" of Mudcat to screw up my postings on this thread. You don't fool me. You're trying to shut me out of the MOAB. Some perfidious Joe Clone who is probably also a "frequent poster" on the MAOB has followed your instructions and put in a software routine that scrambles my transmissions to this thread alone. Outrageous!

If this one doesn't get through unscrambled, then I'll be 110% sure of what's going on. Ha! You'll pay for this, you Quisling!

If it does get through unscrambled, I will know that you had it done just to keep me guessing. That's how devious and sick you are.

But I'm not going to just shamble off into the sunset. Oh no, baby! I'll be back! I'll be back! You'll see. Revenge will be mine.

(cackling madly while pounding on the keyboard...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 06:17 PM

What's the Secret Code, Little Hawk?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 03:47 PM

I think it is a form of acute autism, a temporary retreat from reality by coupling one's awareness to symbols and tokens rather than real things, which still seem too frightening. If healing continues, this will pass, and he will gradually begin posting in a "real" language. Whether he will ever post thoughts about anything "real" remains to be seen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 02:13 PM

It might be easier if he just wrote in invisible ink instead of anagrams or whatever code he has worked out. It's too hot to do anything more than just mouse-over the screen to see if there's anything hidden that speaks volumes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 02:01 PM

F
       G
       R
    ADDDD
    DDDDDDD
    DDDDDD
      DDD
      DDD

                            !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 01:55 PM

I think he is asking "What IS a field of honor, anyway?". Good sign--he's beginning to relate in a rudimentary way. Just nod and smile.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 01:47 PM

Ghei nw riekly endie! Ho mshiie bwgi o hpye nw bgems beg gkk whing. Ebwd bee ho,e hi higbe be???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 01:12 PM

Why would they do that? There is a railroad siding full of tanker cars full of beer leading up to the Legion Hovel. Each car is fitted with external taps when it enters the refridgerated holding area for those who wish to drink Al Fresco (a local brew made in Humphrey, Idaho, which tastes like ammoniated horse urine but is to some people's poor taste).

In fact, you're not permitted to drink Al Fresco inside the Hovel as the fumes drive everyone out and the place in uninhabitable for days -- which speaks volumes for the stink of that beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 10:53 AM

This is the first I heard of the Legion taking a part in that. I think this is part of Rapaire's tall tale, spinning out slow. The legion is actually still back in town, hunkered in the shade of the railroad bridge and heading over regularly to check out the loading dock behind the local beer warehouse, hoping they don't count kegs too close.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 09:42 AM

Well, see, Little Hawk asked them to go to the Field of Honor in his stead, as he was not up to the quarrel he began, and thought he could duck it by dispatching, um, overhelming force. But them guys never stop and ask for directions, and none of them seemed to have any familiarity with such a place. So they're probably out in the boonies looking for it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 09:09 AM

Wait until Mom wakes up and she'll smack him back into sense. Especially if he continues to play the timpani while she has that "headache."

Oddly enough, I've heard nothing from the Legion for the past few days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 08:58 AM

Oh dear. This is serious. Keep trying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 07:13 AM

Gyhe?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 06:03 AM

I think Hawk's pulled himself together wrong. Try again man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 02:00 AM

Add one to he meds tonight, Still.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 07 - 01:25 AM

Mdiahd, id shdi bncuheh thworp. Cko snet le?


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