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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 16 May 07 - 09:37 PM
Rapparee 16 May 07 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 16 May 07 - 09:21 PM
Amos 16 May 07 - 09:15 PM
Rapparee 16 May 07 - 09:08 PM
Acme 16 May 07 - 08:08 PM
Amos 16 May 07 - 08:03 PM
Amos 16 May 07 - 07:55 PM
Rustic Rebel 16 May 07 - 07:40 PM
John Hardly 16 May 07 - 07:30 PM
Acme 16 May 07 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 16 May 07 - 04:19 PM
Amos 16 May 07 - 12:51 PM
Acme 16 May 07 - 12:49 PM
MMario 16 May 07 - 10:17 AM
MMario 16 May 07 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 16 May 07 - 09:25 AM
MMario 16 May 07 - 08:28 AM
Acme 15 May 07 - 11:15 PM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 11:09 PM
Acme 15 May 07 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 10:05 PM
Amos 15 May 07 - 09:57 PM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 08:29 PM
Amos 15 May 07 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 05:55 PM
Amos 15 May 07 - 04:33 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 04:31 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 04:30 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 04:30 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 04:29 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 04:28 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 04:27 PM
Amos 15 May 07 - 04:20 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 04:06 PM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 03:13 PM
Amos 15 May 07 - 02:48 PM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 02:45 PM
Amos 15 May 07 - 01:58 PM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 12:13 PM
MMario 15 May 07 - 12:02 PM
Acme 15 May 07 - 11:56 AM
Amos 15 May 07 - 10:21 AM
beardedbruce 15 May 07 - 10:10 AM
Amos 15 May 07 - 10:06 AM
John Hardly 15 May 07 - 10:03 AM
GUEST,freds 15 May 07 - 10:02 AM
beardedbruce 15 May 07 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 15 May 07 - 09:53 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:37 PM

Cain't half blame ya, there. Hadna been for thet folk song about looking through the wrong end of a telescope from Hell, I wouldn't believe in Arkansas eiver.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:29 PM

I dunno. I jist quotes what Ol' Joe (age 19) told me. Personally, I don't believe in Arkansas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:21 PM

Oh, yeah.

WELCOME BACK, RUSTIC!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:15 PM

There is no such thing as a Navel Air Station, Rapaire. Navels, like many other things in the sad modern age, are inextricably linked to assholes, and cannot take flight.

Nor is there such a place as Pensecola, which sounds like a soft drink for the philosophically inclined.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:08 PM

I don't think Bee Dub is in the danger zone. I spoke with my nephew in Pensecola on Sunday afternoon and he was sitting around enjoying the beach. If the fires were near he would have told me, just to impress his Old Unc.

I did threaten to have Bee Dub visit him there on the Marine Base part of Pensecola Navel Air Station.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 07 - 08:08 PM

You saved up for a long time, Rustic! Don't be such a stranger.

Hmmm. Anyone hear from BWL in a while? Is he down in that fire area? Are the flames threatening his blow-down from the last few wind storms?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 07 - 08:03 PM

Mommmmm!!!! Looooook!!



"NUCLEAR MAGNETIC RESONANCE IMAGING WITH 90-nm RESOLUTION has been
achieved by John Mamin and his colleagues at the IBM Almaden lab in
San Jose, California. The approach used, magnetic resonance force
microscopy (MRFM), maps the location of matter at small scales by
observing the resonant vibration of a spindly sliver of silicon
(bearing the sample in question) when it is both exposed to
radio-frequency waves and scanned over a tiny magnetic tip (see
figure at http://www.aip.org/png/2007/278.htm ). Previously this
same group of physicists had used a similar setup to detect the
magnetic resonance of a single unpaired electron in a sample
(http://www.aip.org/png/2007/278.htm) But now they are detecting
the magnetic resonance of nuclei in the sample, a much more
difficult thing since nuclear magnetism is much weaker than electron
magnetism (in the case of hydrogen some 660 times weaker). "

These guys are still doing Science!!! Isn't that supposed to be iiegal now or something?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 07 - 07:55 PM

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Rebel's Back in Town!!!!!



Yaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 16 May 07 - 07:40 PM

I've smoked dope, chewed rope
Danced, French romanced.
Fucked, farted, faught
Shot the moon, and drove big trucks.
I've been to Janesville, Maine, Spain, Spokane and Fort Wayne.
Seen three world fairs, been around the world twice.
Looked danger in the face, and seen goats fuck in the marketplace.
But I ain't never seen no bullshit, like the bullshit that goes on in this place.

Anonymous-Saunter with sardines and crackers.


Hello MOABS!

P.S. Dear Mother,
Happy Christmas, New Years, May Day, Birthday, Mother's Day, Elephant Day, Spatula Day, Chongo the Chimp Day, Valentines Day, Hobbledehoy Day, Duckbilled Platypus Day and all those other Love You's days I ain't been around for.
Peace, Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 16 May 07 - 07:30 PM

The most famous painted crosswalk in the world: Abbey Road

The least used crosswalk in the world: Flabby Road


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 07 - 07:20 PM

Mom, do you have any white paint?

    SOMERVILLE, Mass. - More fruits and vegetables were added to school lunches. Restaurants offered smaller portions. Crosswalks even got a fresh coat of paint to encourage walking and biking.

    The whole city of Somerville went on a diet to curb childhood obesity. And researchers say it worked.

    Tufts University nutrition experts found public schoolchildren in this Boston suburb avoided gaining about a pound of excess weight compared with their 8-year-old counterparts in two nearby communities.

I'll paint a crosswalk in front of my house and see if it makes my extra weight go away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 07 - 04:19 PM

Mom needs protection!

I've called the Idaho Legion! Even now they are springing into action, trying to get out of bed, trying to mount their mighty steeds, trying to remember where they left the keys to the Arms Room, trying to remember what happened last night, trying to sober up....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 07 - 12:51 PM

I reckon the server got swamped by a shitstorm from Evil Incarnate, the horned Spam-Devil.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 07 - 12:49 PM

Mudcat disappeared for a little while. Was that why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 07 - 10:17 AM

d*mmit MOM!

Take shelter!

The spam is getting thicker and thicker. Doesn't look like much improvement ahead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:29 AM

Holey Moley Macaroni!

We're in the midst of a SPAM-storm!

One even hit MOAB for a second or two!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:25 AM

And you have to remember that sometimes one HTML tag won't work on all machines. This may or may not blink, depending.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 07 - 08:28 AM

yuyp - typing it in is the lazy way. I belong to a forum that uses *shudder* "forum codes" and what a pain that is. It's still quicker to type it then to highlight and click (which is what they want you to do) but they change all the codes just enough to be a bugger....

I'm constantly having to re-type because I am used to straight html.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 May 07 - 11:15 PM

It's lazier to type in your own code than it is to jump through all of those hoops.

Get the book HTML for the World Wide Web, Visual Quick Start is the series, in whatever edition it is now. Peachpit Press. It has some great tips and the appendices in the back are very useful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 11:09 PM

I'm just too lazy to bother to learn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:17 PM

I just type it in as I go. Easy. Good for the memory.

This goes from one side to the other and is called marquee.

Put it in carets and it will move across the screen.

You can do color and size a number of ways.

Have you noticed that John is getting the hang of this place? And his puns are really bad? (That's good) I think we've corrupted another soul to the dark forces of MOAB.

:-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:05 PM

You learn what won't be accepted pretty quickly and don't bother copy 'n' pasting that in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 09:57 PM

Ya know, Rapaire, in the time it takes to bounce around in your WP programs and publish to HTML andf View Source and eliminate the parts of the source HTML that Mudcat won't accept and then copy and paste it into a thread you could have read and replied to four threads, if you were to just type the brackets and containers out yourself.

So neener neener your own self!!



Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 08:29 PM

There ARE easier ways, and I will explain them. So lissen up.

First of all, find a place like this one. That'll give you the lowdown on html codes.

Then write whatever you want in a word processing program that allows you to publish it to HTML, choosing your fonts and colors and font sizes. If you use a decent program like Word Perfect you have a command for this in the "File" menu under "Publish to" (HTML, XLM, PDF, etc.). Choose HTML and put in the file where you want it (remember where you put it!). Or in an indecent program like Word, go to file and choose "Save As Web Page."

Close it all down and open your web browser. Open up MOAB, then open another tab on the browser (usually control-t). On the second screen go to File, and choose "Open File". Select the file you saved. Magically is will appear! Go to View and click on View Page Source. Even more magically the HTML will appear! Now, ignore most of what displays and highlight that section with your message on it. Copy and paste this into the "Reply to Thread" box in MOAB. Click on "Preview" and then "Submit Message" and you'll see what your message will look like BEFORE it becomes posted. If you get an "Illegal Tag" message just delete stuff between the pointed brackets at the beginning and the same thing with the / at the end. Do this judiciously, and preview, preview, preview until you don't get any more "Illegal Tag" messages.

Now, to get fancy. Go to that HTML codes page. Somewhere at the beginning of the HTML in front of your message insert something like your message.

(Refer to the "marquee" entry in the HTML list for what I just did.)

This will make your message scroll horizontally. You can also make it do other tricks. If you put (marquee direction=alternate)xxx(/marquee direction=alternate) before and after your message it will bounce from side to side. Of course, you substitute pointed brackets for the () above.

There is an HTML practice Permathread somewhere.

And it takes far less time to write all this than it does to do it.

Nyah, nyah, nyah, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 06:12 PM

See, Rapaire? That's the difference betwixt us. I offer encouragement, you jes' show off. Sigh. Don't you lissen to anything Mom says?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 05:55 PM

There are, John,

Easier Ways.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:33 PM

Braaaaaavo, John!!!!!!!!!!




Not so bad, is it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:31 PM

got that one down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:30 PM

mid-point


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:30 PM

half-way


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:29 PM

middle


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:28 PM

center


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:27 PM

ok

I promise to educate myself. Maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:20 PM

Aw come on, John. All these commands work the same way:

b
i
h1
h2
h3
h4
center
u
s


...and a couple of dozen others. They go in brackets, < and > to start an effect. You put the same thing at the end with a / before the letter in the brackets to turn it off. Turn on, turn off. Turn on, turn off. All there is to it, Mister Miyagi!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 04:06 PM

I can barely handle the codes of B, I, U, am more thankful than most that the mudcat shed "br" and invented the blickifier. I couldn't center copy if my life depended on it. Instead, I just make sure that my monitor is in the middle of my desk.

Don't even ax me about color. I'm John In Hoosierland, not John In Kansas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 03:19 PM

Have I mentioned that in planning a trip into the Great Frozen Land North Of The Canadian Border I've discovered that there is a town called Sexsmith, Alberta?

Really. It's up around Hinton and Grande Cache.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 03:13 PM

That's what I'm doing: centering...

OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM........OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 02:48 PM

What, you don't like centered lines? ;>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 02:45 PM

Black fighter floats and stings.
Out of his mouth,
Poetry lessens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 01:58 PM

Black fighter floats and stings.
Out of his mouth,
Poetry lessons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 12:13 PM

I gotta
Lotta
Respect for Muhammed Ali.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 May 07 - 12:02 PM

haiku is 5-7-5, yes?

Floats like butterfly
Teaches poetry in style
Muhammed Ali



but I prefer:


Seeking Brother lost
On yellow forms,still manly
From Indiana


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 May 07 - 11:56 AM

No! That's a sublime image. . .

Pow!

Should'a tried a haiku, it would have gotten you out of harm's way faster.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:21 AM

Dactyl: ONE an' two,ONE an' two
Iamb:   ONE-two, ONE-two.

:D

Anyway, the idea of Muhammed Ali floating like a butterfly and teaching poetry out of the side of his mouth is really silly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:10 AM

that sounds more like an iamb.


"The mere fact of having published a book of second rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the poetry he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise. ~Oscar Wilde "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:06 AM

"Ya gotta unnerstan Dactyls, see? iT'S A one- AND THEN A two!! pow! Gettit? You gotta get the meter right...."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:03 AM

"Did I mention that I learned poetry from Muhammed Ali back when he was boxing?"

What I fiind incredible about this?

In this day and age, I find that, just to survive, most people really have to learn to multi-task. It's just the way of this fast-paced world.

We sort laundry while we talk on the phone. We put dinner in the oven and catch up on sweeping while dinner's heating up.

...but even as adept as we've become at multi-tasking, I think it's remarkable that Ali could teach poetry WHILE he was boxing. Unbelievable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:02 AM

Guano tastes like bat excrement. Why do you want to eat it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:01 AM

"In the old days a poet used to sweat turning out a sonnet, say. Very difficult form. Exactly 14 lines, all of them hung together with rhyme, rhythm, meter, perfectly. It was too much work for the poet, so blank verse and then free verse came in. And then anarchy. The new poet never bothered to learn how to write a sonnet, or to measure his lines in correct meter and to follow a rhythm system. He dashed off his inspired poem in a matter of a half hour and was surprised when after a few decades of this people stopped reading poetry."



Among the Bad Baboons, by Mack Reynolds
Copyright 1968 Galaxy Publishing Corp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 09:53 AM

Well, I like things to rhyme. Taking the time to rhyme and adhere to the meter demonstrates self-discipline and that's one of the prime prerequisites for a swordsman.

Got only two more to do for Mom. Because she's great/I'll make it eight.

Did I mention that I learned poetry from Muhammed Ali back when he was boxing?


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