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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Apr 11 - 03:05 PM
Amos 19 Apr 11 - 04:13 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 11 - 04:34 PM
Eiseley 19 Apr 11 - 05:17 PM
Amos 19 Apr 11 - 07:26 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 11 - 10:24 AM
Amos 20 Apr 11 - 12:14 PM
Amos 20 Apr 11 - 02:18 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 11 - 03:07 PM
gnu 20 Apr 11 - 03:22 PM
Acme 20 Apr 11 - 05:39 PM
gnu 20 Apr 11 - 07:28 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 11 - 09:55 PM
Amos 20 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 11 - 10:30 AM
Amos 21 Apr 11 - 12:38 PM
gnu 21 Apr 11 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 11 - 02:35 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 21 Apr 11 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 11 - 11:16 PM
Acme 21 Apr 11 - 11:50 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 11 - 12:00 AM
Eiseley 22 Apr 11 - 12:16 AM
Rapparee 22 Apr 11 - 10:19 AM
Amos 22 Apr 11 - 04:07 PM
Acme 22 Apr 11 - 04:21 PM
Amos 22 Apr 11 - 08:55 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM
Acme 23 Apr 11 - 11:08 AM
gnu 23 Apr 11 - 02:20 PM
GUEST,Albert Schweitzer 23 Apr 11 - 06:13 PM
GUEST,Heidebundt Pikelmaas 23 Apr 11 - 06:24 PM
Amos 23 Apr 11 - 07:52 PM
gnu 23 Apr 11 - 08:15 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 11 - 10:40 PM
Acme 23 Apr 11 - 11:03 PM
Amos 24 Apr 11 - 03:24 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Apr 11 - 03:42 PM
GUEST,Eliza 24 Apr 11 - 06:58 PM
Amos 24 Apr 11 - 09:13 PM
Rapparee 24 Apr 11 - 10:50 PM
Little Hawk 24 Apr 11 - 11:02 PM
Acme 24 Apr 11 - 11:24 PM
Amos 25 Apr 11 - 01:13 PM
Little Hawk 25 Apr 11 - 01:30 PM
GUEST,Eliza 25 Apr 11 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 11 - 03:53 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 11 - 03:59 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 11 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 11 - 04:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 03:05 PM

Amos, the word "yepe" become, over the centuries, "ept" and from that, of course we also derive "inept" (e.g., "He was as inept as a carpenter as he was as a poet").

I already knew the word "quiddity", not only because I studied Latin when young and have a large vocabulary, but also because my wife's a lawyer. (Please note the "not only...but also" construction in the foregoing sentence. That's the kind of thing us English Majors learned.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 04:13 PM

Yepe, yap, yept
The man yclept
Yon Rapparree
Is not inept
But mayhap yaps.

Thanks for the stellar input, Booke Manne!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 04:34 PM

No one has ever called Shane ept.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 05:17 PM

Fine poems and commentary, O Yepe and Ept ones!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 07:26 PM

To you my friends both yepe and ept
I pass my adulation
No matter where, or how yclept
My earnest admiration.
For you have shown full worthy folk
An honred trust to keep
Maintaining Mom with all aplomb,
Full ept, and true, and yepe.


Francis


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 10:24 AM

Francis who???

of Assisi?
Solanus?
Xavier?
Arnold?
the Talking Mule?
Bacon?
Marion?
Scott Key?
Drake?
Ford Coppola?
Crick?
Dalton?
Gurry?
, Utah?

Or was "Francis" the surname?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 12:14 PM

How yepe thou art.

Francis Duckdog Drake, who started life as a mere boson, and became the scourge of the Seven Dimensions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 02:18 PM

Stilly:

Are you all right? Don't be a hero.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 03:07 PM

Or heroine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 03:22 PM

Shane is outept.

A... showoff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 05:39 PM

Yup, we're fine here. A friend who lives over near McDonald Observatory in the Davis Mountains sent photos from the observatory that look like they're filming the final scenes of Independence Day in the Texas mountains.

I just scored a trailer load of dirt that came out of my next door neighbors' yard after they dug up the turf to put in an enlarged backyard patio. This was so helpful because I would have had to buy a load of dirt and pay to have it delivered to finish work on a wall I need to build in the front yard. The dirt will fill in behind it as I complete a berm I've built to keep traffic out of my yard from the street that intersects at the "T" in front of my house. I'll at least slow them down with a wall and a pile of dirt.

You all can bring your beer over and supervise when I build the wall. Hopefully this weekend and next.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 07:28 PM

I supervise well. Especially when well oiled. Tends to to make me less demanding. Of course, if I am getting paid for supervision, no amount of oil will sway my quality control.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 09:55 PM

The plant folks called. Installation in the front yard begins immediately and includes a shade tree. And it came in at a lower cost than expected!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM

DOn't let them slip you short measure on the soil preps, Rapp--make them prepare it and mix deep and thoroughly or the new plantings will suffer a year from now.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 10:30 AM

I'm printing out all of Mom, shredding the paper, and using it for soil conditioner. The nutrients should be excellent!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 12:38 PM

Reminds me of the blonde secretary who needed to compress a document to a smaller file size so it would go through e-mail. So she changed every font in the document to 9-point from 12-point.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 12:43 PM

PICNIC


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 02:35 PM

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter
represented.

The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and wouldn't let her in.

The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either.

The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was
betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ..... "

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 07:12 PM

Ah-Ha! Ha! Ha! Decent, man! I like the bit about the 6 weeks of hockey.

- Don

p.s. Amos is a flippin' genius! Did ya see his latest pome about Shane?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 11:16 PM

Shame, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 11:50 PM

It is officially air conditioner season in Texas. A bit early this year. It won't be every day, but for the last two evenings I've run one of them to pull some of the humidity out of the house.

Rap, are you putting in a xeriscape yard? Make sure, when they plant that tree, that they soak the roots and unwind all of the wrapped up roots. If it's balled and burlap, it's probably okay as is. Then stake them out with pegs of some sort so they stay unwound. And don't plant it too deep. If it is coming out of a pot, there is usually extra dirt that was thrown on top and the tree is suffocating. You need to be able to see the root swell, and it is better to be planted too shallow rather than too deep in the ground.

I spoke with my organic gardening guru's right hand helper today. I may start screening calls on his weekend call in program. It's a bit of a commute, but it might be fun. "You want to ask him WHAT??? Does your wife know you're using the phone?"

Hehehe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 12:00 AM

The plants are all adapted to or amiable to this climate. The backyard will more xeriscaped, using primarily decorative native grasses and such things. The front will include boxwood and arborvitae, with roses and other things along the edge of the east side of the driveway. The flowers (tulips, irises, daffodils, jonquils, etc.) already in place in front of the house will stay; some euonemus (spelling is wrong!) will probably be planted for winter color. Not complete xeriscaping, but about 75%.

We are well aware of water here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 12:16 AM

Euonymus isn't very winter-hardy. Oh, it might survive a regular winter, but anything below about 0 for very long will kill it. I hope you're keeping your few precious stalks of asparagus.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 10:19 AM

We'uns done IN-sisted that the backyard work has gotta wrap 'round the 'spargus patch. Iffen any of the plants commit sewercide or are killed off we gonna call the nursery who planted 'em. That's why I ain't digging and plantin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 04:07 PM

'Twas down the thread list I did go!

Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!

I saw poor Mom was sinking low

Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!

So with my keyboard and my pen
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
I sent our Mom back up again!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


And now the post is bound to stop,
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
For Mom is back up at the top!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


The MOAB thread is surely best
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
For MOAB posters never rest!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


And every MOABite's a friend
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
On the thread that never seems to end!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


So hoe and row them, bold and brave
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
And never let her misbehave!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


And if our hoeing's ever done
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
At least we'll know we had some fun.
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!

Ohhh, hoe them down from dusk to day
And heave away for the next of Kay
And hoe them down for MOAB!


(Traditional Internet Long-thread Shanty, collected in New Bedford by Carl Sandburg in 1936)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 04:21 PM

Had to use "keyboard" because you couldn't make "typewriter" rhyme?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 08:55 PM

How quickly they may criticize
Who live in lofty mansions
But no, it never was the rhyme.
The problem was in scansion.
To make a line come out in time
Will make the whole verse lighter
And I would have gone completely mad
If I had used "typewriter".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM

Be glad you weren't trying to rhyme "orange" and "month".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 11:08 AM

Good one, Amos! I love how you do that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 02:20 PM

Orange doesn't rhyme with month. What the hell you talkin bout Willis?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Schweitzer
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 06:13 PM

A bleak and frosty April is a month
That rarely shows a spot of bright orange.
Of autumn's hues she has but a millionth
And sometimes that is only a door hinge.

Albert

Ess zounds besser in der German


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Heidebundt Pikelmaas
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 06:24 PM

Vat are you sayink? You sayink zat zings zound bedder in Cherman zan zey do in English? Vell, ya, in most cases zat iss right, but vad about "unicorn"? Vat about zat, you verstunkener dumkopf! Und ven are you goink to confess vat you haff REALLY been doing on zees clandestine trips to Mexico?

- Pikelmaas


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 07:52 PM

I solved the "rhymes with orange" riddle years ago.

You may delight in mango, or you may rejoice in orange
And while oranges are heavely, the mango's surely mora ange-
elic than bananas.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 08:15 PM

Ahhhhh....

That's as politely as I can orrange it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 10:40 PM

I shan't comment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 11:03 PM

Max is waxing nostalgic for all public workers, from cops to garbage men. He sounds like he's having a very mellow birthday on his radio program tonight. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 03:24 PM

I think I spoke hastily. In fact, I am sure I spoke hastily. I always do.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 03:42 PM

You been speakin' hastily ever since you was born, Roscoe. Yer like a busted water main.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 06:58 PM

Hello from Norfolk UK! About this tree, what type is it please? And our euonymus plants survived minus 10C last winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 09:13 PM

Oh, CHongo, go piss up a rope; it will improve your conduct.

Eliza, whatever are youse referring to?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 10:50 PM

Eliza, here we can easily go down to -10 F and lower during the winter. Summers can be over 100 F. Our house is at 4,800 feet above sea level.

We haven't decided on the tree yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 11:02 PM

Chongo enjoys sparring with you, Amos. ;-) It helps him defuse his tension, and he has "a lotta tension" to defuse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 11:24 PM

Eliza, euonymous are not a good choice for many places for a lot of reasons, but apparently in Idaho they are considered okay. It might be the state plant of Idaho, who knows. Don't consider this an authoritative source about them, this is the Mother of All BS threads, not the Mother Earth plant site. You have been cautioned. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 01:13 PM

Let him defuse his tension by wrapping it around his imaginary neck.

If an imaginary crittur is imagined up by the imagination of an imaginary identity, and then the imaginary crittur imagines he is under some kind of tension (because he imagines he should be resisting some of his imaginary experiences) then where is the alleged tension coming from?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 01:30 PM

A cogent question, Amos. You suggest that it's coming from me? Possibly. But not with absolute certainty. It may be that Chongo now exists as an independent entity in the Astral by virtue of the facts that all thoughts become manifest there the moment they occur. The Astral, of course, isn't physical...but neither are thoughts. Nevertheless, they do exist. The Astral Chongo may be responsible for generating his own level of frustration, you never know. He might even outlive the physical me, but if he does, you won't know about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 03:52 PM

I didn't anticipate it to be the Mother Earth plant site, Stilly River Stage. With over forty thousand postings I imagine it's about anything and everything.
Amos, re: 'Whatever are youse referring to?', I was referring to the 'shade tree' which Rapparee plans to plant in the centre of his yard.
Why are you folk so confrontational? It's like trying to talk to a bunch of Rottweilers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 03:53 PM

Poop, to coin a phrase. The Created ALWAYS outlives the Creator (except, of course for the Creator of All Creators, whose secret name is Rapparee). Hamlet lives on even though he dies in the play and his creator is also dead. Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, Miss Marple, Kate Sugak, Podkayne, Moll Flanders, Sam Spade, The Little Match Girl, the Bobbsey Twins, the Very Hungry Caterpillar, Justine, the Mother Thing -- they all live on tho' their creators are dead. Who could resist floating down the Mississippi with Huck and Jim or helping Ragged Dick work his way up from poverty to affluence? Match poems over swords with Cyrano? Go adventuring with Oscar and Star? Walk with crummy streets of Chicago with Chongo Chimp? Ride with Veronica Rutledge in her Porsche? Stand with Flashman at Rork's Drift?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 03:59 PM

No, no. It's because there ARE over 40K postings that people have to ask. Suppose I asked Amos the source his inspiration. I could be referring to his latest poem or (in this case) to "The Flight of the Chicken" which he posted seven years ago.

Time means so little here at MOAB...and then there's that damned duckdog, Gluon, who slips between universes...

It's not intended to be confrontational, just a request for information.

I'm thinking of perhaps a Mountain Ash, but that's up to the nursery people. I'm going to let the pros handle it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 04:01 PM

Oh yeah. Congratulations, Eliza. You grabbed 40,500 -- a great feet here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 04:01 PM

And I just grabbed 40504.


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