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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 12:25 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 09 Aug 11 - 12:35 AM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 11 - 12:52 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 10:36 AM
Amos 09 Aug 11 - 10:55 AM
MMario 09 Aug 11 - 01:57 PM
gnu 09 Aug 11 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 03:12 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 04:00 PM
Amos 09 Aug 11 - 04:31 PM
gnu 09 Aug 11 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 04:47 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 11 - 04:57 PM
Acme 09 Aug 11 - 05:54 PM
Amos 09 Aug 11 - 07:45 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 07:56 PM
gnu 09 Aug 11 - 08:23 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 08:44 PM
gnu 09 Aug 11 - 08:54 PM
Amos 09 Aug 11 - 08:54 PM
gnu 09 Aug 11 - 09:06 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 11 - 09:10 PM
Acme 09 Aug 11 - 09:44 PM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 11 - 11:18 PM
Eiseley 10 Aug 11 - 12:07 AM
Amos 10 Aug 11 - 09:33 AM
Acme 10 Aug 11 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 10 Aug 11 - 09:37 AM
Eiseley 10 Aug 11 - 09:38 AM
Amos 10 Aug 11 - 09:55 AM
Amos 10 Aug 11 - 12:35 PM
gnu 10 Aug 11 - 01:21 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 11 - 03:30 PM
gnu 10 Aug 11 - 03:46 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 11 - 03:54 PM
Amos 10 Aug 11 - 04:06 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 11 - 04:12 PM
Acme 10 Aug 11 - 04:25 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 11 - 05:26 PM
gnu 10 Aug 11 - 06:47 PM
Amos 10 Aug 11 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 11 - 11:35 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 11 - 10:33 AM
Amos 11 Aug 11 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 11 Aug 11 - 04:47 PM
gnu 11 Aug 11 - 04:53 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 11 - 06:47 PM
Acme 11 Aug 11 - 07:26 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 11 - 07:35 PM
Amos 11 Aug 11 - 08:05 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 12:25 AM

During the unCivil Ware battle of Seven Pines a pre-determinism preacher took shelter behind a nice big oak. The soldier already there said to the preacher, "Well, reverend, if you were predetermined to got shot you will be shot and if you are determined to escape without injury that too will happen. So why are you taking cover?"

To which the preacher replied, "God predetermined that this nice tree would be here in my time of need."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 12:35 AM

Sorta' like the Spirit within Consciousness met Time, and Matter resulted from it. Don't worry, kids, they will soon be separating! We'll be Free, again!

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 12:52 AM

Eisely, I wasn't saying we don't have free will. It's quite clear that we do. What I was saying is that we may be using that free will within what amounts to a dreaming form of existence. I would never for a moment suggest that we do not have free will. One has free will within a dream, and one uses it continuously. The moment a being has consciousness and self-awareness, it also has free will. This has already been demonstrated millions of times in the lives of all of us, entirely to our own satisfaction. I just used my own free will to make this comment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 10:36 AM

Zen Judaism

If there is no self. Then whose arthritis is this?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, peace. With the fourth, a danish.

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy". And a lot of travel arrangements.

There is no escaping karma . In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have?. Bupkes.

The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish. The Tao is also not your mother.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out . Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has
ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following. Get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says there is no "self". So, maybe you are off the hook.

The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?

Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir
until you have attained full Enlightenment. But, first, a little nosh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 10:55 AM

Bravo, Rapp. WIsh I knew where you got that from!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 01:57 PM

Hi Mom! Guess what....Gluon came to visit me over on Ravelry.com; and everyone was admiring him/her. They did wonder how we had managed to get a duckdog in the first place...

but they liked Gluon's "quark"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 02:46 PM

The doc cut my BP meds in half when I was last in... it was 110/70 at 7:45 AM. I read at various internut sites that "normal" is 90-120/60-80 but he cut the meds. I un-cut the meds when I read 145/89 @ 63bpm at 2:45 PM Aug 7. Took my second pill of the day at 6PM... 94/50 @ 65bpm at 8PM. Does that seem a tad low? Does anybody know? Does anybody care?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 03:12 PM

As long as you HAVE blood pressure, a pulse, and a body temperature higher than the ambient temperature.

The last seems a little low, but not too bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 04:00 PM

I'd suggest trying to raise it just a tad, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 04:31 PM

IF it looks like free will, tastes like free will, and acts like free will, it will do until the real thing comes along. If it looks like sausage, tastes like sausage, smells like sausage, it will make you fat again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 04:31 PM

Raise it... well, I could go for a drive around Moncton. The drivers here are incredibly incompetent. Last thing they wanna do around here when stopped at traffic lights is PAY ATTENTION TO THE LIGHTS DAMNIT!!!

Or, I could go over to the neighbour's house and ask him to PAY ATTENTION TO HIS FUCKING DOG THAT HAS BEEN BARKING FOR THE LAST 25 MINUTES. IS HE FUCKING DEAF? Hmmm... he is about Amos' age so???

I think I'll go put that SOB Honda piece a shit battery back in the generator after charging it on accounta the Honda generator charging system is designed to charge the battery if the fuckin genie runs 8 hours a day. Jaysus!

That oughta work.

Thanks for the advice. I feel much better now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 04:47 PM

Or you can simply think about the government.

Doesn't matter which one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 04:57 PM

gnu - Your neighbour is doing the old "I'll ignore that bastard till he gets tired of barking and shuts up" trick. The dog is doing the old "I'll bark till that bastard can't take it anymore and lets me off this line". The first one to crack loses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 05:54 PM

Or you can simply think about the government.

But don't think about Bhutan because they have instituted a "Happiness Quotient" in their government programs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 07:45 PM

Gnu:

A low resting BP is not, as far as I know, a major issue; it means you are achieving enlightenment. Considering your age you are doing so at about the right age. If you do it too fast your blood pressure just goes away altogether.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 07:56 PM

Not having blood pressure isn't good for your health.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 08:23 PM

"The first one to crack loses." That could be me. I do some heavy concentratin when I am engineering infrastructure to benefit mankind on accounta if I fuck up people can die. So, do I kill the dog or the neighbour or the general public? Enlighten me.

Sorry... been a very stressful day. Not the least of which was attending the smoking cessation course. I had to sit through the first half hour while the "fill-in" recapped the recap of the recap of the first three "chapters" while waiting for the guest speaker, okay? uh-huh? yeah... yeah... yeah... okayyyy? When she said the same thing for the ELEVENTH TIME (no shit... I started counting after 3) I fuckin near lost it.

But, I am glad I didn't because I learned that *I* am the hill, the sky is my hope, the flowers are my attitudes, and the beer can that someone threw into my flowers is my smoking and all I have to do is bring that beer can back down the hill and throw it away because it isn't supposed to be in my flowers on the hill. Breathe deeply. Ten times... one... three... WTF happened to TWO? How much does she get paid and she can't fuckin count?

More importantly, *****, who only smokes 5 cigarettes a day, scrubbed the vinyl siding on her house this week to keep her mind off smoking. And, she thinks, that, for her.... FUUUUUUCKKKKKK!!!!

I lit up as soon as I got to the truck. But, I WILL quit smoking on accounta I NEVER wanna go thru another quittin smokin course.

I set my "quit date" as the last day of the coourse but if that shit keeps up I may advance the date and quit the course.

Hmmm... maybe that is part of their strategy?

Of course, the above is meant to be a bit of comical comment on the day, partially true. But I'd still like to feed the neighbours' dogs so that they SHUT THE FUCK UP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 08:44 PM

Do the general public. Just let me know where so I can avoid it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 08:54 PM

Nah, that's too Hun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 08:54 PM

No, no. Kill the fucking dog. He only does it to annoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 09:06 PM

A... you troll me. I would never kill a dog unless it should be taken out.. and that is seldom the case.

I was just tryin to make light of the situation. I assume you are as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 09:10 PM

Throw pepper at your neighbor's dog
And beat him when he sneezes.
He only does it to annoy
Because he knows it'll really, really piss you off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 09:44 PM

I'm lucky my neighbors don't comment often about the dogs barking. Their bedrooms are on the front of their houses and my dogs are out back. I have on occasion shouted at the dogs out of the back bathroom window to "GO TO BED." And even if they don't go into their stall in the garage that is officially "bed," at least they shut up. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 11 - 11:18 PM

Dogs generally feel that they have something important to say, and if saying it once is good, then saying it 10,000 times is a whole lot better!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 12:07 AM

Good luck with the stop-smoking plan, gnu. Maybe switching to something other than tobacco would make the dog situation more bearable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 09:33 AM

IT has been only 101 years since the patent for an electrically powered washing machine was first issued. How things have changed!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 09:34 AM

The dogs have a remarkable range of messages delivered in their barks.

Not what I was looking for, but it will work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 09:37 AM

Eiseley recommends you smoke dope. The Idaho Legion feels that smoking of anything is bad for your health and doesn't recommend it. In fact, smoking is banned in the Legion Hovel now, ever since Seegar Stan ran out of seegars and decided to smoke a salmon. Fish wasn't even dead yet when he lit up. I leave the results to your imagination, but will say that the odor persisted for weeks. The salmon odor hung around too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 09:38 AM

In another 101 years, my great-grandchildren will say something like, "Can you believe how much time Great-grandmother Eiseley had to spend typing into a computer in order to post something to MOM? Life was so much harder back then!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 09:55 AM

Gnu:

TO hell with all that psychobabble from the nerds on course. Buy yourself a bunch of Nicorettes 4 mg tablets and suck on one when you want a smoke. It works for me. After a month you can cut down to 2mg tablets. Eventually you're free of the nicotine demand system, or you can just suck those things for about the same price as the cigs. You'll feel much better for the extra oxygen in your system.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 12:35 PM

I told my dear wife that this was how I felt about her, except that she was not a horse, as far as I knew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 01:21 PM

Thanks for the advice and support. It IS appreciated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 03:30 PM

Have you tried the approach of looking at the cigarette and saying: "Who's stronger? You or me?" If you're stronger, then you don't smoke the cigarette. I knew a guy who managed to quit them in that fashion, and he did it by being stronger than the cigarette each succeeding time that he asked the question...which took awhile...but eventually he didn't have to ask it any longer, and he was done with smoking at that point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 03:46 PM

Good approach LH. But, after 40 years, two packs a day for a while trying to keep myself afloat in a VERY stressful career, I dunno if I am gonna go with ONLY that. It will be a part of it, but I wanna be well armed in this fight... that's why I took the course. And, I have learned tools to help me. Now, as A said, there sre some "tools" I could do without but there it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 03:54 PM

Righto. I understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 04:06 PM

The battle is not really with the cigarette, which is a passive thing. It is with the cells in brain and gut which scream to refill the nicotine level and threaten to make you stupid and dull witted beyond all recognition if you do not hasten to obey. :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 04:12 PM

True. The real battle is within. One could dramatize it, though, by acting out the battle with the cigarette. That's what the fellow did whom I was speaking of.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 04:25 PM

My Mom quit cold turkey after they put in dacron arteries from her abdomen to her thighs and told her if she didn't quit she'd lose her legs. She was always in denial about her smoking and very defensive, even though we all hated it.

Preserve your health and friendships, just stop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 05:26 PM

I can make all sorts of suggestions, like wearing clothes made of nitrocellulose (this can really be done). But instead making light of the problem (I did not intend that pun!) I'd like you to remember that a bunch of people out here in Never-Never Land actually do support you in your fight. Now back to my regular programming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 06:47 PM

"Now back to my regular programming."

I agree. I shall try to only post regarding "MY topic" in future if I have sommat comedic to post.

Thanks again all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 08:39 PM

WHatever program you use, try to stay regular, won't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 11:35 PM

For a real neat trick, mix someone a drink of 50/50 Tang and Metamucal. Or vodka and Metamucal.

I just got back from the shooting range where I fired my new cannon: a .45 Colt (Long Colt) single-shot rifle. It kicks about as much as the lightweight .22 single shot, it's accurate enough with the sights it came with, and costs about USD 0.62 per shot. It breaks open like a shotgun and you have to pull the hammer back to cock and shoot it. At that price I shan't be shooting it just for kicks.

Tomorrow afternoon I believe I shall go fishing. The 34+ pound rainbow trout that was recently caught around here inspires me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 10:33 AM

Poor Mom. No one else cares. Here's a nice breakfast of pulpo, kimchi, freshly-made mokli, amaranth biscuits and some nice fresh lard to spread on them. And you must try the muktuk -- it's well aged now.

(Betcha Amos can't say I've every made THAT breakfast before for anyone.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 10:49 AM

At last, a change in diet for Mom. Can't say "for the better" but, hey, it's a start.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 04:47 PM

I'm practicing for cooking at Getaway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 04:53 PM

Rap... "It kicks about as much as the lightweight .22 single shot..."

Soooo, how could old men like you and me carry it all day in country? The sucker must weigh near pounds if it kicks like a feather. Bull barrel or what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 06:47 PM

Pistol cartridge in a rifle. 250 grain lead bullet moving at no more than 960 fps. Rifle weighs about 6 pounds. Low velocity + decent rifle mass = low recoil, pushed in a straight line back to your shoulder. It would have enough potential and kinetic energy to bring down a deer at 200 yards. You can do math, at least a little bit. Amos can help you with the tough spots, like adding.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 07:26 PM

First you're talking about trout, then you're talking about guns. Are you shooting fish, Rap? Or shooting the breeze?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 07:35 PM

You've never heard of shooting fish in a barrel? Well, out here the trout grow sooooooooooooooo big that you gotta shoot 'em. Just a week ago Pick Simmons was swallowed whole by a brookie he'd landed on 5 lb. test line. Poor ol' Pick, who's 6 feet 6 inches tall, went down head first in one gulp. Woulda been the last of him, 'cause the fish was rollin' back into the water and had already spit out Pick's shoes, when a depiddy sheriff happened to see what was happenin' and shot the fish with a 12 gauge. Surprised the fish so much that it spit Pick out, rolled into the water unhurt, and left nothin' behind but the slime on Pick. Nobody even noticed that until Pick had been in the sun awhile and the odor started, and it was a half hour or more before they were sure it was from the fish and not Pick's natural odor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 08:05 PM

ANything in a pinch, as long as it kills something.

MEanwhile, in the high meadows at the treeline high above the sleepy city of Dormant, Idaho, the last of the snow melt has seeped into the deep root-systems, and the summer sun has warmed the soil far under the dried grasses. Awakened by their mysterious chemical clocks, a thousand thousand daffodils and myrtle buds begin pushing upward, seeking to rejoice in the sun. Down in Dormant, the powers-that-be sleep on, unaware of the miracles unfolding around them as they snore.


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