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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 13 Sep 06 - 04:58 PM
MMario 13 Sep 06 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 13 Sep 06 - 04:18 PM
MMario 13 Sep 06 - 04:03 PM
Acme 13 Sep 06 - 03:55 PM
MMario 13 Sep 06 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 13 Sep 06 - 11:01 AM
Acme 13 Sep 06 - 10:50 AM
MMario 13 Sep 06 - 09:54 AM
Acme 13 Sep 06 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 13 Sep 06 - 08:55 AM
Amos 13 Sep 06 - 08:51 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 06 - 11:43 PM
Acme 12 Sep 06 - 11:29 PM
Amos 12 Sep 06 - 07:01 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 06 - 06:31 PM
Amos 12 Sep 06 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 06 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 06 - 03:29 PM
Amos 12 Sep 06 - 03:09 PM
Amos 12 Sep 06 - 11:34 AM
Acme 12 Sep 06 - 11:29 AM
Amos 12 Sep 06 - 10:05 AM
Tweed 12 Sep 06 - 10:02 AM
Amos 12 Sep 06 - 09:44 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Sep 06 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 06 - 09:27 AM
Amos 12 Sep 06 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 06 - 08:52 AM
Acme 11 Sep 06 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 06 - 11:17 PM
Amos 11 Sep 06 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 06 - 11:00 PM
Acme 11 Sep 06 - 06:15 PM
Amos 11 Sep 06 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 06 - 05:05 PM
Amos 11 Sep 06 - 04:50 PM
Acme 11 Sep 06 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 06 - 02:49 PM
Amos 11 Sep 06 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 06 - 01:02 PM
Amos 11 Sep 06 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 06 - 09:21 AM
Desert Dancer 11 Sep 06 - 01:33 AM
Amos 11 Sep 06 - 01:09 AM
Acme 11 Sep 06 - 12:02 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 06 - 10:19 PM
Amos 10 Sep 06 - 09:37 PM
Acme 10 Sep 06 - 08:18 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 10 Sep 06 - 08:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:58 PM

Jeez, a two letter word and he misspells "it".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:36 PM

Visit? I can't even SPELL it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:18 PM

Poor, poor Pocatello. A rich musical scene, even an annual Bluegrass Festival, and yet no one ever visits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:03 PM

Carollton? They are just north of the city. Closer to the city then Jed Marum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 03:55 PM

How near is "near Dallas?" I'm "near Dallas" by about 45 miles in Fort Worth, or is she in El Paso, "near Dallas" by about 700 miles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 11:09 AM

I waved at texas! about 25 of the guests were from Texas as my sister has been near Dallas since Katherine (bride) was young. But with the 90th b'day party in florida in february (for my Dad) and a couple more family weddings before my new year of vacation starts next july I gotta be a bit chintzy with how many days I take off! I may get to Texas more often in the future (I have been going once a decade) since I now have a stopeover spot in Clinton, MS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 11:01 AM

Yeah. And turn right to Pocatello. Wassamatter wit' youse?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:50 AM

If you were as nearby as Mississippi, why didn't you hang a right and stop by Texas for a couple of days?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 09:54 AM

Hi Mom! Back from a wedding in Mississississississississippi. 5 out of 12 of the next generation of family married off now. plus 2 of the cousins kids. two more scheduled family wedding in the next year and a couple of associated ones. yikes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 09:53 AM

Ah, Babbitt, I know him well!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 08:55 AM

Yes, indeed, and humble as well. And so very proud of his humility.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 08:51 AM

What a good, good fellow is our Rapaire!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 11:43 PM

They will, if the crick don't rise, be mailed tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 11:29 PM

Sounds like a bedtime song this evening. It's putting me to sleep.

I wonder if those shirts will be here in time to wear for that 14,000th post? Wouldn't that be grand (canyon!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 07:01 PM

Dodgy, dodgy, amigo. But I am bighearted and I will drop the issue. Because I respect you greatly, and love to hear you sing.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 06:31 PM

I'm singing them!!! Jeez, don't you know the difference between singing and reciting poetry? You don't footnote songs! Just picture it: "Here's a little ditty from the hills of Midlothian entitled 'Wha' Would Ye Do, Me Jo?' by Angus McGeek open paranthesis Edinborough colon Hamish Rood Music Publishing comman eighteen hundred and ninety-one close parenthesis. Hope you like it."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 04:36 PM

Travel has dulled our friend of books,
He's fallen off the wagon,
And once again, by hooks and crooks,
He sets his pen a-waggin'
With lines from history's greatest tomes,
Wherever greatness said it
He'll take it up and pass it on,
Without a hint of credit.
No author's names or sources wide
From our gifted far librarian
And all convention he denies
In fits of pique contrarian.
So let us make it up for hope
That he will grant surcease:
He's quoting Alexander Pope
And the poems of L. MacNeice.

Alexander Pope's "Epistle to Dr Arbuthnot" of January 1735
Louis MacNeice - Bagpipe Music


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 03:34 PM

Wasn't that fun? I think I'll sing another poem! Feel free to join in, tempo di valse:

It's no go the merrygoround, it's no go the rickshaw,
All we want is a limousine and a ticket for the peepshow.
Their knickers are made of crêpe-de-chine, their shoes are made of python,
Their halls are lined with tiger rugs and their walls with heads of bison.

John MacDonald found a corpse, put it under the sofa,
Waited till it came to life and hit it with a poker,
Sold its eyes for souvenirs, sold its blood for whiskey,
Kept its bones for dumb-bells to use when he was fifty.

It's no go the Yogi-Man, it's no go Blavatsky,
All we want is a bank balance and a bit of skirt in a taxi.

Annie MacDougall went to milk, caught her foot in the heather,
Woke to hear a dance record playing of Old Vienna.
It's no go your maidenheads, it's no go your culture,
All we want is a Dunlop tyre and the devil mend the puncture.

The Laird o' Phelps spent Hogmanay declaring he was sober,
Counted his feet to prove the fact and found he had one foot over.
Mrs Carmichael had her fifth, looked at the job with repulsion,
Said to the midwife 'Take it away; I'm through with overproduction'.

It's no go the gossip column, it's no go the Ceilidh,
All we want is a mother's help and a sugar-stick for the baby.

Willie Murray cut his thumb, couldn't count the damage,
Took the hide of an Ayrshire cow and used it for a bandage.
His brother caught three hundred cran when the seas were lavish,
Threw the bleeders back in the sea and went upon the parish.

It's no go the Herring Board, it's no go the Bible,
All we want is a packet of fags when our hands are idle.

It's no go the picture palace, it's no go the stadium,
It's no go the country cot with a pot of pink geraniums,
It's no go the Government grants, it's no go the elections,
Sit on your arse for fifty years and hang your hat on a pension.

It's no go my honey love, it's no go my poppet;
Work your hands from day to day, the winds will blow the profit.
The glass is falling hour by hour, the glass will fall for ever,
But if you break the bloody glass you won't hold up the weather.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 03:29 PM

Is that poetry? Or is it a song? Or is poetry a song? Is a song poetry? Are they interchangeable, like this and that? Do we need another poem? Do we need another song? Don't we have enough poems and songs already? I say, let's sing the poems and songs we have before we go around making more!

Here, I'll start. Ahem. Allegro con vivo:

Let Sporus tremble ? "What? that thing of silk,
Sporus, that mere white curd of ass's milk?
Satire or sense, alas! can Sporus feel?
Who breaks a Butterfly upon a Wheel?"
Yet let me flap this Bug with gilded wings,
This painted Child of Dirt that stinks and stings;
Whose Buzz the Witty and the Fair annoys,
Yet Wit ne'er tastes, and Beauty ne'er enjoys,
So well-bred Spaniels civilly delight
In mumbling of the Game they dare not bite.
Eternal Smiles his Emptiness betray,
As shallow streams run dimpling all the way.
Whether in florid Impotence he speaks,
And, as the Prompter breathes, the Puppet squeaks;
Or at the Ear of Eve, familiar Toad,
Half Froth, half Venom, spits himself abroad,
In Puns, or Politicks, or Tales, or Lyes,
Or Spite, or Smut, or Rymes, or Blasphemies.
His Wit all see-saw between that and this,
Now high, now low, now Master up, now Miss,
And he himself one vile Antithesis.
Amphibious Thing! that acting either Part,
The trifling Head, or the corrupted Heart!
Fop at the Toilet, Flatt'rer at the Board,
Now trips a Lady, and now struts a Lord.
Eve's Tempter thus the Rabbins have exprest,
A Cherub's face, a Reptile all the rest;
Beauty that shocks you, Parts that none will trust,
Wit that can creep, and Pride that licks the dust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 03:09 PM

'Twas in the fall of ought-oh-six,
On a cool late summer's day
When MOABs fourteen-thousandth post
Was forty-five away
My true love came to me, did she
On kitten's feet to stand,
ANd laid her hand upon my arm,
And said won't it be grand?

Grand! Grand! It will be fourteen grand
And folks will bow their heads in awe,
From all across the land!
From the visions of the King Khandu
To Rapaire's most dext'rous hand
The children of MOAB will cheer,
When they reach fourteen grand.


And then another post was made
The gap was forty-four.
Re-post, riposte, gibe and assert,
They posted three times more.
And then a whim, and there a jest,
Came forth on every hand.
And Catters muttered east and west,
It's going to be grand!

Grand! Grand! It will be fourteen grand
And folks will bow their heads in awe,
From all across the land!
From the visions of the King Khandu
To Rapaire's most dext'rous hand
The children of MOAB will cheer,
When they reach fourteen grand.


Then came old Tweed, and Bunnhabain,
with several things to say,
And the gap went down to thirty-four
Before the end of day.
And still the posts came trickling in,
Like the glass' telling sand,
And soon the word spread far and wide,
"It's going to be grand!"

Grand! Grand! It will be fourteen grand
And folks will bow their heads in awe,
From all across the land!
From the visions of the King Khandu
To Rapaire's most dext'rous hand
The children of MOAB will cheer,
When they reach fourteen grand.


...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 11:34 AM

That brings back memories, it do... fall breezes and the rustle of corn fields lying low, brick buildings and green campus, green students and brick dorm monitors, and the wide open horizons of psychedelia ahead!! Man, those were...hmmmmmmm..... interesting days, and I am glad I survived them.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 11:29 AM

Hey, Bunn, don't go hiding from those first years! I have it on good authority they're okay, if just a bit starry eyed and bouncing off of walls at first. (I just launched one myself a couple of weeks ago).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 10:05 AM

MAy you find a ring in your pie, Tweed, and soon be wed thereby. Then you won't have to worry about all those cacky pants.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 10:02 AM

Rules of etiquette say that men should stop wearing beige trousers on Michaelmas (until Whitsun/Pentecost the next year.)

Good information to know and use.

I am fairly safe as I don't own any beige trousers at all, nor khaki neither!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 09:44 AM

That was Liz for ye -- three months to learn about the news and three days to decide to send an Armada of her own to Coruna. IF she or the Admirals had had the wits to aim at San Sebaastian instead, we would have bloody changed the course of history and wiped out the rebuilding Spanish fleet at its core.

Francis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 09:37 AM

There are days I feel I can never hope to Mom, and have nothing to say. But then I just go and post some random introspective rubbish anyway, and hope nobody notices.

I'm currently hiding from our last major invasion of the year, the new first years at university. So many disorientaited teenagers in such a small area.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 09:27 AM

It is said that Elizabeth I (the Virgin Queen, a/k/a Good Queen Bess) was eating her Michaelmas goose when she received the news of the defeat of the Spanish Armada.

I guess news traveled a helluva lot slower in 1588...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 09:24 AM

Give the man a goose and he leaps for a day. Teach the man to goose and he makes others leap all year.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 08:52 AM

Ah, Mom. Here it is, only seventeen (17) days before Michaelmas, and I am the first to awaken you! Michaelmas daisies, crabapples, and, of course, the Michaelmas goose all will be ours in only seventeen (17) days! Will someone give me a goose for Michaelmas this year? I guess I'll have to wait and see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:39 PM

"Interested observer" sounds less embarrassing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:17 PM

Fencing starts tomorrow evening. Actually, it started last Tuesday but I was Elsewhere then.

The question is: should I sign up for the epee matches which will be held here on September 23, or simply attend the matches as an interested observer?

Keep in mind that I haven't done and don't do electronic scoring.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:03 PM

Mike, you are a crack up.

And I bet you do it standing on your head,too!! LOL!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:00 PM

Who soaks me soaks trash.

No, wait, that's not right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 06:15 PM

MOM! The boys are making too much noise out on the back patio again! Can I turn on the yard sprinkler and soak them down? Huh? Huh? Pleeeeze?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 05:50 PM

LOL! Slash! Zoom! Clash! Clang!! Rapaire is back, fencing with the wrought iron gate in front of Mom's garden. Pow! Leap! Parry!! Clang!!

You quo'd before I quidded, Rapaire. Be fair. Sequins? Fiber optics? Pig shirts? Batterry attachments?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 05:05 PM

And I'll send you one you can put on your car as you drive around Idaho. It says, "I'm From California And I'm Here To Take Away Your Guns."

Quid pro quo, ol' buddy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 04:50 PM

I was shocked right into the present by the appearance of one. Woke me right up! Thanks.

OK, a pig tee shirt I can handle, thanks Rapaire for your being so considerate.

In exchange I will send you a bumper sticker that says "MOAB! Smarter than all Idaho!", to put on your truck or car bumper. You'll get so many laughs out of it, I'm sure you will be dining out on it for months, although opssibly on a liquid diet.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 04:07 PM

Oh, good. And I bet it says "oink" on the back, right?

So, you read any good birthday threads lately, Amos? We're practicing for tomorrow, it seems. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 02:49 PM

It's really just a cotton tee shirt that says, "Cops are wussies."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 01:51 PM

Well..okay...but since the definition of tee-shirt usually includes construction by ordinary cotton or synthetic fabric threads, this doesn't qualify exactly as a tee-shirt, but rather as something else in the general shape of one. While I will be roundly gratified at your generosity, I do not feel bounden by my promise to wear it at the Getaway unless it can be shown to actually be a tee-shirt. Not a chain-mail vest, or bill-board, or bar-room sign, jammed into the FORM of a tee-shirt.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 01:02 PM

I dunno, Amos. Each "thread" is about a centimeter in diameter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 10:37 AM

That sounds pretty cool. I think I could reconfigure it to run on the output of a solar-panel hat, which would also convert thought control beams, and add them to the energy output. This is way kewl.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 09:21 AM

I fibbed a little. Amos' tee shirt doesn't have sequins and rhinestones.

Amos' tee shirt is knit from fiber-optic thread and lights up to read "MOAB and "Party naked with big a Johnson" (whatever THAT means -- I think it has something to do with an outboard motor).

Two twelve-volt wet-cell batteries are required, as this is not particularily new technology.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 01:33 AM

Rapaire, hiz fizzical addy iz north of the ships and east of the seals. I know coz I've bin there.

SRS: I'm a hot-pepper-phobe, otherwise I would have bit at your bait above -- thanks for the thot!

Hi, A!

B in T in alter-ego mode


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 01:09 AM

Well, true enough, and I have some dicey ethical aspects of my own. Anyway, I have sent you my addy on your assurance it will not be used for rhinestones or sequins. ;>) Nice to have you back around!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 12:02 AM

Besides, you probably could have dug up a lot worse on Amos, without half trying. :-/ We live in interesting times.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 06 - 10:19 PM

I, myself, have very dicey ethical aspects to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 06 - 09:37 PM

Your attempt at blackmail, sir, is groundless. The Rose Canyon project is as bad as I said it was. It is not MOAB business or I would explain why.

However, I would suggest you be more discreet about rambling around the Internet digging up remarks people have made here or there outside this forum and using those remarks to gain some end of your own in the present--it is a practice with very dicey ethical aspects to it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 06 - 08:18 PM

I emailed it to you at the liberry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 10 Sep 06 - 08:08 PM

Besides, you might actually LIKE a bobble-head of Bob Dylan and a black velvet painting of Elvis Presley. You never know.


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