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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 05 Apr 15 - 08:35 PM
gnu 05 Apr 15 - 06:56 PM
Acme 05 Apr 15 - 03:14 PM
Amos 05 Apr 15 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 15 - 09:42 AM
gnu 05 Apr 15 - 06:44 AM
Acme 04 Apr 15 - 11:29 PM
Amos 04 Apr 15 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 04 Apr 15 - 08:22 PM
Amos 04 Apr 15 - 02:11 AM
Acme 03 Apr 15 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 03 Apr 15 - 08:54 PM
gnu 03 Apr 15 - 08:19 PM
GUEST,BWL 03 Apr 15 - 07:12 PM
gnu 03 Apr 15 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 03 Apr 15 - 06:12 PM
gnu 03 Apr 15 - 09:10 AM
Rapparee 03 Apr 15 - 08:30 AM
Amos 03 Apr 15 - 05:01 AM
Acme 02 Apr 15 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 02 Apr 15 - 09:24 PM
gnu 02 Apr 15 - 07:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Apr 15 - 02:52 PM
Acme 02 Apr 15 - 11:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Apr 15 - 04:13 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 01 Apr 15 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 01 Apr 15 - 09:10 PM
gnu 01 Apr 15 - 07:39 PM
Rapparee 01 Apr 15 - 05:51 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 31 Mar 15 - 11:40 PM
Amos 31 Mar 15 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 15 - 05:42 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 31 Mar 15 - 05:13 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 31 Mar 15 - 04:00 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 31 Mar 15 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 15 - 01:03 PM
gnu 31 Mar 15 - 07:14 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Mar 15 - 05:39 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Mar 15 - 05:26 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Mar 15 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 15 - 05:16 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Mar 15 - 05:16 PM
Acme 30 Mar 15 - 02:39 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 15 - 02:33 PM
gnu 30 Mar 15 - 12:01 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 15 - 11:06 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Mar 15 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 30 Mar 15 - 09:03 AM
Amos 30 Mar 15 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 29 Mar 15 - 10:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 08:35 PM

Please sing "The Bastard King of England" whether I'm there or not. It's a request I send out in honor of my brother, The Bastard King of England. If you can't sing that, please sing "Jesus Love Me" and/or "They're Moving Fathers Grave To Build a Sewer" and/or "The Drunkard's Child."

Thank you.

Is Strawberry Alarm Clock playing as well? Will John Lennon be there? How about Janis Joplin? Mama Cass? Homer Glinch? Or just you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 06:56 PM

-16C tonight? You have GOT to be shitting me. Fuck you Old Man Winter! Callous prick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 03:14 PM

Those "starter marriages" - quite a concept, awkward in execution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 12:43 PM

Well, see, unlike you I went out and practiced a couple of times so I would get the real thing right when the time came. Poor, poor Rapparree--trial by fire and green as a hickory whip. But you have to give him due credit for making it through without remedial training.

I am showcasing at the Trinitea Coffee House on Navajo Road on April 13th--y'all come on out and catch the show!

Yeehaw, and all that. If you do, I will take your requests! Don't know what I will do with them, but I will take 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 09:42 AM

Poor, poor Amos. Only 36 years. We're into our 42nd. She'll never ride the Meyer ferry 'cross the Mississippi again. (For one thing, it's shut down.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 06:44 AM

Awwwwww... ain't love grand!

Yesterday morning, I put all my HD snow clearing clothing away. Guess what I just did. Oh well, at least it's light and fluffy. There wasn't a lot but it was windy so it drifted in front of Mum's back door and in front of the garages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 11:29 PM

I can claim the same number of years friendship with a partner who I lived with for 20 years, married for 12 of those. The last 15 are better because we aren't married to each other - we are family even if we aren't. Whatever works! :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 11:03 PM

Thirty-six long and colorful years have slipped away since I first invited my BBW to go diving to see the manatee at Crystal River, Florida. She says she had no idea at the time what a manatee was but she looked at me and said "Yes" anyway, from the bottom of her heart. Tonight she said it was "the rightest right choice she ever made". Melt my heart, darlin'! Happy anniversary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 08:22 PM

Amos, you're in deep trouble with Mom. Up carousing and who-knows-what until all hours of the night! You're gonna git grounded you're gonna git grounded nyah nyah nyah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 02:11 AM

Just back from a wonderful evening listening to Martin Carthy, and his vibrant and charming daughter Eliza, performing a colorful and varied collection of great English folk songs. These two are a perfect treasure together. AMDS deserves applause for making San Diego the first stop on their American Tour.


Local folkie paper covers the story here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 09:34 PM

Tomorrow I have to try to mow my back yard. I've tried four times now and still haven't managed to push a mower through all of the tall grass and weeds. Right now the grass is so tall that Chongo could go missing in it. My dogs could find him, but would probably go around him instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 08:54 PM

Don't let him kid ya, he's off doing pot again. Bee-Dubya is an old time pot head. He lives in a swamp so the gators will lunch on anyone coming to get his pot, assuming the quicksand doesn't get 'em first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 08:19 PM

The fair Art Thieme or the fairly Art Brooks?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,BWL
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 07:12 PM

Hi Mom! I'm away at an art fair and did not bring my laptop,only my phone, and I really hate typing on it. I'd rather send you a message by Pony Express. Bye,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 06:21 PM

Mom was at the bottom of the page but she would not have fallen off until tomorrow at 9:10 AM. Don't get her panties in a twist. She's over 52,000 posts old! Give the old girl some slack eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 06:12 PM

Mom! At the very bottom! Get up where you belong! For SHAME!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 09:10 AM

Stephen Harper does not exist. He pervades as does the stench of raw sewage, as does the haunting vilest deeds of the vilest of men, as does... well, you get the point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 08:30 AM

CC goes through dumpsters LOOKING for weevils and other bugs. Doing so is a reminder of home and youth. In fact, CC eats nothing which is NOT found in a dumpster.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 05:01 AM

Naw, he's of the tribe which believes in seeing no weevil.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 10:02 PM

Disappointing evening. I prepared to make a pot of rice, only to find that the brown rice had weevils. I usually freeze rice for a long time, but perhaps I missed this batch. Dumped all of that and got some Basmati rice out of the freezer. It came out good.

Weevils! That's something I would expect to find at Chongo's house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 09:24 PM

I shall continue to gently reprove anyone who tries to insult me, for one can only be insulted by someone his or her intellectual superior -- indeed, someone superior in every way. As I have no superior, intellectual or otherwise, I cannot be insulted.

As for CC et al., I have no more authority to deny their existence than I have to deny the existence of, oh, Barack Obama or Stephen Harper or John Boehner or anyone else I haven't met. Or my own, for that matter. In fact, I can only accept my own existence and assume that everyone else (except my wife) is a construct created by me for some reason or other, which probably seemed a good reason at the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 07:31 PM

Oh dear. The zoo keeper has lost the keys... or found them.

Yes, that is cryptic. What's your point? What is a fence, if not to sit upon?

Forced, I would offer... fences won't deter monkeys nor logical discourse. You cannot reason with a monkey. You can only put up a fence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 02:52 PM

If such a diatribe were to occur, and particularly if it were to occur as a post by "Chongo Chimp", I would take it as evidence that Little Hawk missed my point entirely and/or his need to communicate using fictional proxies has become pathological.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 11:32 AM

BWL, prepare yourself for a diatribe about Old World chimps and New World monkeys. Or some such hooey.

I'm surprised spell check didn't underline hooey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 04:13 AM

Oh for fuck's sake! Has this turned into the goddamned Mother of All Chongo Chimp Threads?

Little Hawk, how about a little less monopolization? Give a human being a chance to say something every now and then? The ape is NOT funny anymore. Why don't you try posting as yourself every now and then? You're an okay guy. Your monkey sucks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 09:55 PM

You say you had to sell yer ego a few years back to make ends meet, Rap?

Well, given the very, very tiny, incredibly small value of yer ego...I can only hope them ends wasn't too far apart! Ook! Ook!

- Chongo

p.s. The whole bar is laughin' at that one. They're rollin' on the floor here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 09:10 PM

Well, gnu, I can only say


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 07:39 PM

All I can say is


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 05:51 PM

Shucks, Chong', I was there earlier this month -- twice. Chicagoans like me.

Amos, I don't have an ego. I had to sell it some years ago to make ends meet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:40 PM

Good of you to give advance notice of yer unwanted presence-to-be here in Chicago, Rap. I will put up posters to warn the general public that you are comin' for a visit. It'll probably be remembered in future years as the worst day in Chicago since Mrs O'Leary's cow kicked over that lantern back in 1871.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:37 PM

Ya gots to find it first, amigo.

Seriously, this granfaloon between Rapp's imaginary ego and Chongo's imaginary existence is the biggest hot-air kafluffle seen in these parts since Gluon drove off Martin Gibson, Sheeshe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 05:42 PM

Yeah, sure, sure. I believe you. Yessir. I have no doubt at all about that. Right.

I'll be in Chicago on May 27. Be there or be shown up as a fool, a poltroon, and a coward.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 05:13 PM

Pretty much anything is tasty if cooked right. You just gotta season it properly and not overcook it or undercook it, and that is what I plan to do with Rap's heart one of these days if he don't smarten up.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 04:00 PM

Apes are tasty if cooked right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 03:24 PM

Scared, aren'tcha, Rap? Scared of what ZALOXX can do to wipe yer specist synapses clean! Yessir, there are gonna be big changes...and yer kind of ape-hatin' people will soon be nothin' but a dimly remembered relic of history.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 01:03 PM

It's finally happened. Chongo has been caught up and is living in a computer game. Her/his mind, feeble at best, has snapped. Time for the thorazine and straitjacket, I guess (a lobotomy wouldn't work, as frontal lobes are necessary).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 07:14 AM

In like a lamb, out like a lamb. But it F'in roared in between. Good riddance says I.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:39 PM

You are jumpin' the gun with the idea about the drones, Rap. Sure, ZALOXX can be spread around to prejudiced populations by drones...but we ain't gonna do that until after I am elected, see?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:26 PM

**Okay....some Republicans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:21 PM

Dang! There's a typo on the last ZALOXX in that ad. It ain't got the two X's at the end. I gotta talk to quality control about that, pronto.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:16 PM

Can I fill them with paint? How about water and food coloring? Can they be dropped from a drone? Can I fill them with water and then freeze them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:16 PM

Do you harbor unspoken resentment against apes and monkeys? Do you resent them getting equal pay and equal rights alongside humans? Do you think they smell bad? Do you think that NO ape should ever get to be president of the USA? If so, you need ZALOXX!!! ZALOXX! is a brand new preparation made with 17 different secret ingredients from the jungles of Africa, South America, and Borneo. ZALOXX! transforms closet specists and even outright primate-hating, obscenity spewing bigots of the worst sort from prejudiced creeps who use words like "p**pflinger" into tolerant, unprejudiced people who don't object in the least if their daughter shows up at the door with a handsome Chimpanzee on her arm, but invite the happy couple inside for a cool drink and a cheerful family gathering at the dinner table. Yes, whether you are white, black, Asian, Hispanic, Native American or from any other known human demographic, ZALOXX! will turn YOU into a primate-loving person who wants nothing more than to embrace his or her primate ape and monkey cousins with love, acceptance, and consideration. Don't hesitate! Order a yearly supply of ZALOXX! NOW!!!!!!!!!!...and see the incredible results work their magic in just a few days! NOoooooooooo SHIPPING CHARGE!!! Remember the name. ZALOXX!!!!!!!!!!! That's ZALOXX!!!!!!! You WILL order some now and you WILL vote for Chongo Chimp in 2016. Depend on it. It EVEN works on Republicans!*

*(Well, most Republicans...)

(Note: sale of ZALOX is banned in Texas. But that don't stop you from crossing the state line to get some, does it? ACT NOW!!!)

Call 1-800-APE-LOVE or go to the APP website and order online!

This message has been brought to you by the American Primate Party, 2015. "We aren't just monkeying around."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 02:39 PM

Forget the droopy ears, what you really need is to be prepared to beat the summer heat. You need

ZORBZ


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 02:33 PM

'S also good for keepin' yer head parts outa the weather and from gettin' stuff in yer hair when yer bucked off in the corral. Ya kin use it ta haul water ta yer cayuse, as a nose bag, ta fan the fire, an' ta distract the cows when they stompede. Ya kin also wave it on the end of a stick ta draw fire from the owlhoots an' ta signal folks ta ride around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 12:01 PM

Never thought I'd say this but I am with the monkey on this one. That there kinda hat is the absolute best fer bullin through the woods. Keeps the pine needles n such outta yer ears when yer goin through small pines like one-by-ones. Them there is pines what's one inch in diameter and one inch apart. Now, that might be a "little thick" but not by much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 11:06 AM

Dear Dumbchimp,

I have a suit, a tie, a fedora, and a trench coat...and don't doubt it.

That's MY picture, you dumbchimp! Who do you think taught Bogart?

Come around to the Bourbon Barrel sometime and I'll introduce you to my barrel. .38 or .45, take your pick. As you'll say, "Ook! Ook! Ouchyhurty!" Then I'll see your funeral makes a big splash.


Rapparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:57 AM

Naw....this is the ultimate hat. When (and if) you ever grow up, Rap, you will understand that.

http://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/12009/12108226_1.jpg?v=8CEC5E09EE2D2B0

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:03 AM

The one with the eye patch. Geez, I thought you'd recognize me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 12:19 AM

WHich one are you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 10:10 PM

Mah hat is hyar, pardner.


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