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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 04:30 PM
gnu 06 Sep 13 - 04:42 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 13 - 04:51 PM
Acme 06 Sep 13 - 05:18 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 06:50 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 13 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 09:35 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 13 - 12:19 AM
gnu 07 Sep 13 - 08:40 AM
Rapparee 07 Sep 13 - 12:24 PM
Acme 07 Sep 13 - 01:11 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 Sep 13 - 01:16 PM
gnu 07 Sep 13 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 13 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 13 - 01:34 AM
gnu 08 Sep 13 - 07:20 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 08 Sep 13 - 08:09 AM
gnu 08 Sep 13 - 08:15 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 13 - 12:36 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 08 Sep 13 - 08:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 13 - 09:44 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 09 Sep 13 - 08:48 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 10:55 AM
Amos 09 Sep 13 - 10:56 AM
gnu 09 Sep 13 - 10:59 AM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 12:10 PM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 12:57 PM
gnu 09 Sep 13 - 05:51 PM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 05:57 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 06:45 PM
Acme 09 Sep 13 - 06:55 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 09:37 PM
Ebbie 10 Sep 13 - 02:24 AM
Ebbie 10 Sep 13 - 02:27 AM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 08:03 AM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 13 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 13 - 10:04 AM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 11:29 AM
Acme 10 Sep 13 - 12:58 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 13 - 01:51 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 13 - 05:09 PM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 07:53 PM
Amos 10 Sep 13 - 08:19 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 13 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 13 - 11:01 PM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 11:11 PM
Amos 11 Sep 13 - 08:29 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 13 - 09:35 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 13 - 10:21 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 04:30 PM

At least it's not a fertility rite like Morris Dancing, so the 'rhan players can bang away all day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 04:42 PM

LH... really? I have no history of such... without due cause. >;-)

Of course, any transgressions (I disagree) by Wildebeeste have nothing to do with goats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 04:51 PM

I've dealt with goats before. The nanny goats are quite nice creatures...but the billy goats? Total bastards! They are obsessed with sex and violence, 24 hours a day. And they stink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 05:18 PM

I'm back to MOAB today to read the travelogue. Amos is slowly working his way through the New England states, toying with the idea of crossing back into Canada, and is heading toward Mudcat central if he crosses through central PA. Great time of year to be up there - I hope the colors on the mountains are gorgeous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 06:50 PM

So a while back I had this oral surgery? And they put in bone grafts and stuff? And for the last week or so I've been blowing my nose and out comes stuff that looks like liquid chocolate? And today I went to the oral surgeon? And he did some x-rays and stuff and found that my right sinus is completed blocked up by an infection? And that's not the side with the big bone graft? So I'm on clindimycin?




(Big Bone Graft -- what a great name for something! Like Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky or French Lick, Indiana.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 09:21 PM

Wow, tough luck, Rap.

Now who the heck are you trying to sound like? When you end everything with a question? Like this? Know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 09:35 PM

It's called "uptalking"? And lots of people with self-esteem issues do it? And my self-esteem has an issue? Like how can I be even greater than being the greatest and Mom's favorite kid?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 12:19 AM

I'm like....???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 08:40 AM

Stop that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 12:24 PM

Why? Is it bothering you? If it is I suppose that LH and I could stop it, isn't that right LH?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 01:11 PM

There's a steroid shot they can give you now to clear out your sinuses. I'd never heard of it before I got one earlier this year, but it works wonders. Check it out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 01:16 PM

A solid whack to the side of the head might do it too. Works for me.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 09:34 PM

I am quite certain Rap would offer to help with that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 11:43 PM

Got me a sap right here, just like my Uncle Ed used on those punks who messed with him. "A tap with your sap and the sap is crap," as he used to say.

What, you may ask, is a sap? It's one of these, but flatter. Librarians use them as "book weights" so don't mess with librarians.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 01:34 AM

What sort of stuff should I bring along for a sojourn in Churchill, MB in early February? I can rent the real heavy-duty stuff there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 07:20 AM

Toilet paper. Not for you... for the bears. A steady diet of garbage and tourists gives em the runs eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 08:09 AM

Yeah, I got a long acquaintance with usin' saps to calm troublesome people down. They work real good.

As for the bears, the best thing to bring when yer in bear country is a not-so-good-friend who can't run as fast as you can, and keep him near to hand at all times.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 08:15 AM

I don't think the slow buddy tactic works in Churchill. Might draw a crowd eh? Probably need to be in the middle of the herd... a BIG herd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 12:36 PM

I do think that the Blind River public library needs some "book weights."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 08:41 PM

The little brother got band from the liberry after the last bad insident. He is mad abvout that and says he is boycottin' them now. He says he will not set foot in the liberry, not even if they get down on there flippin' knees and BEG him to.

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 09:44 PM

He gets down on his knees a lot, doesn't he, Don?

Wind: WSW, 0.0 to 4.6 mph.
Distance: 50.8 meters, measured by laser.
Target: NRA/Olympic Small Bore Rifle (paper).
Rifle: Single shot, bolt action .22.
Ammunition: Aguila Target .22 Long Rifle, standard velocity, 40 grain lead round nose.
Position: Sitting bench rest (for sighting in).
Score: 173/180, 3X.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 08:48 AM

What are you flippin' gettin' at, Bolthole? You tryin' to scare me? Huh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 10:55 AM

One needs both intelligence and awareness to be frightened, Sham.

But I do want to know how many pairs of knee protectors you go through in a week, if you use knee protectors. You should because you can eventually damage your knees kneeling on asphalt, cold concrete, and other hard surfaces. Even the cold ground can damage your knees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 10:56 AM

Now, boys!

I spent several days in the sweet green woods of southern Connecticut and then cut up and over to upper NY state, to visit an artist friend in the charming brick Victorian town of Hudson, on the banks of the river Hudson. It was once a booming whale-oil town. Then it got depressed and almost all boarded up. Then it got re-energized by artsy types and now it is bustling again--antiques, bakeries, artists, coffee shops, woodworkers, and so on. Still some great bargains to be had in houses there. Bidding fond adieux to the Hudson Valley I wandered down into the maw of New Jersey--a depressing transition indeed--and on into Pennsylvania. I am now resting up in a lovely Cape Cod brick home in the suburbs and plan on going into town to drool on the Rodin exhibits which are open today. Rodin drives me wild.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 10:59 AM

50.8 m... not bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 11:25 AM

Amos - "Rodin drives me wild."

Hmmm. I wonder if Rodin also drives Winona wild? Must find out. It might prove useful at some point.

I am still shocked...yes, shocked!...that you resisted the almost overwhelming temptation to journey a short distance north and investigate the wilds of Orillia, Amos. I can hardly believe you would pass up such an opportunity. Are you aware that we have a towering statue of Samuel de Champlaigne standing in the city park by the waterfront? And an 1800s-era opera house? And then there's Chez Hawk, my residence, where you have a standing invitation to visit at any time. Keep that in mind. You can get to meet the budgies too if you come. They have never seen an Amos, and would, I think, be fascinated...once they overcame their initial fear of strangers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 12:10 PM

Sham, you should run for office. Here's your slogan:

"Sham McBride: He puts the 'duh' in Canada."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 12:57 PM

LOL! Oh, I like that... ;-) We need someone like that in the next election here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 05:51 PM

NEXT election? WTF have you been?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 05:57 PM

Ummm...well, today...I've been at the computer...in the kitchen...downtown...out in the yard...downstairs...bathroom...kitchen again...then went to my accountant's office...back home after that...

What else you want to know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 06:45 PM

I got my new gunsight today, so pretty soon I'll be clicking out .45 Colt bullets from my little single shot out to 500+ yards.

Please note that this is an iron sight -- none of those fancy-pants, Amos-approved, telescopic, computer-driven sights for me! By God, if it was good enough for Custer, good enough for Rourke's Drift, good enough for Belleau Wood, good enough for Alvin York and Smokey Smith, it's good enough for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 06:55 PM

Amos, I hope someone is feeding your dog all of this time you're away, or is she travelling with you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 09:37 PM

Amos responds with a burp and smile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 02:24 AM

You laggards. I've been waiting all day for the count to reach 48888 because it is so cool but, no. If I wait until morning someone will have run it up and past. So: 48884.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 02:27 AM

dang


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 08:03 AM

LH... my "duh" = Mulrooney and especially Harper.

dang? Drumroll.........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 09:57 AM

Oh, I see. Heh! Well, I don't think either Mulroney or Harper are stupid...but I do think having either of them as PM turned out to be a disaster.

Matter of fact, I once came up with this limerick:

Bob Stanfield could sell underwear
And Trudeau could certainly swear
But Brian Mulroney
Just gave us the Looney
Aside from a lot of hot air!

and this one:

Joe Clark had not much of a chin
"But don't worry," said Brian to him
"I'll take up the slack,
And lead the attack,
'Cos mine's long as the road to Berlin."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 10:04 AM

Ebbie took my number! My palindrome! But it's Ebbie so I don't feel too bad about it. Now if it had been Sham or Chongo I'd probably go on a killing rampage, stomping every ant I could find. But Ebbie's a nice person.

By the way, Sham my son, you know what you must do to inherit. You'll want to get started soon, for the Will doesn't kick in until you're fully accepted and have taken Final Vows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 11:29 AM

I like em both, LH. #2 is quite an observation.

I always thought, after Joe gained weight, he was trying to imitate The Chief. Did a good job, too... at the imitation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 12:58 PM

Where in the world is Amos today? Is this the Rodin day?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 01:51 PM

That's actually "Row Den", which is a nasty little waterfront dive. Amos is probably still drinking, because if you stop the barkeep knocks you on the head and sells you to a whaler setting out on a four year voyage, and if you stop the barkeep knocks you on the head anyway. The "exhibit" is a bunch of pictures from "Hustler" and "Penthouse" magazines that the Row Den puts up on the walls on the way to the men's room.

It's not "The Carytid Fallen Under Her Stone" or anything like the stuff by Auguste Rodin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 05:09 PM

Rap - Yes, but don't forget that Amos carries a cane that conceals a hidden rapier, as well as being a Master of Lapp-Gotch, and he can easily deal with press gangs and other such scoundrels who would attempt to Shanghai him.

gnu - I always liked Joe Clark. He seemed like a decent and reasonable man to me. Same for Robert Stanfield. But both of them lacked the killer instinct that is so vital for success in politics. As for Trudeau, I think he was an absolutely brilliant man with tremendous guts, and a great prime minister, though I didn't always agree with him on specific issues. I doubt we'll see his like again. Also, Richard Nixon called him an "asshole" once, and that's one more point in Pierre's favour. ;-D Trudeau was asked by the press about it and, showing his usual aplomb, very handsomely said, "I've been called worse things by worse men."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 07:53 PM

LH... "I've been called worse things by better people."

Wiki has a list of his quotes. Brings back memories of better days.

I liked Joe too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 08:19 PM

Today was Lazy Day in the quiet suburb of Glendale, outside of Philly. Rodin Day was yesterday. Tomorrow is "South to Bethesda!" day where my elder niece and her handsome husband rule over a household with two sons in it. One nine, one eleven. This promises to be fun.

I am reading a GREAT mystery called The Dante Club in which the leading characters are Longfellow, Russell, and Lowell--the Boston Brahmins of American literature. Terrific job of character building. Matthew Pearl, a brilliant writer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 10:24 PM

Orillia has declared a civic day of mourning, since you neglected to come here. We may extend it to a week of mourning. The City Council is talking about having you drawn and quartered in effigy out in front of the Opera House.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 11:01 PM

Blind River has declared a Day Of General Rejoicing, I understand from the news. It's either because Sham McBride is back in the pokey or because Amos didn't stop there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 11:11 PM

Are all the neighbourhood kids coming to your Bday party, A?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 08:29 AM

It is NOT my birthday, Gnu. My birthday is far in the future--thousands and thousands of seconds in the future. Let's stay real here.

Well, you know that's not gonna happen, but anyway...don't rush me, okay?

Hawk, send my apologies to the cast of characters in Orelia. I did not have a decent suit with me and so felt I could not appear in a way that would match their impeccable standards of idiocy decency.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 09:35 AM

Amos, old bean, I strongly doubt that you could have embarrassed yourself in any way before those like Sham McBride, Chong Chimp, Bad Penny, Ronnie the Slitch, or the Lizardman Freako.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 10:21 AM

Please! None of those esteemed worthies actually live here, though Chongo does visit now and then when he needs a break from the big city life in Chicago. Shane has never stopped in Orillia, though he's been through on a bus the odd time on the way to Toronto. Penelope? I've been trying for years to get her to visit, but with no success. I'd love to see Orillia confronted with the very best of the Engish upper classes and see what would happen. Then there's William Shatner. The campus of the WSSBA stands proudly just outside of Orillia, and we have long hoped that Mr Shatner would come here to bless us with his presence...but he has not. He didn't even come for the unveiling of his statue which stands at the apex of the Central Rotunda.


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